An Attempted Assassination
The terms of the treaty had been drafted long ago — all that remained were the signatures — so the people were busy enjoying the banquet.
For most of them, it was the first time they'd ever attended a feast in a place this brightly lit in the dead of night, and everyone was having the time of their lives.
Trần Văn Minh — mid-thirties, maybe? — supposedly the leader of the southern faction. The hair between his eyebrows was so thick it looked like they'd grown together, which was honestly hilarious.
Good thoughts. Good thoughts.
One more grin and I was completely done for!
"Feel free to laugh if you find it funny. It doesn't bother me at all."
"Pfffhahahaha—hk! No!"
Ugh. How is saying something like that with a perfectly straight face even allowed? I'd let my guard down and laughed…. Aigoo.
"Ahem. Sorry about that."
"I'm well aware of my own appearance."
It wasn't that he was ugly, exactly. It's just that his eyes were oddly fierce and small, and…. he looked like a cartoon character, that's all!
"Whewww…."
Focus! Focus!
"I heard you opposed this treaty. What are your reasons?"
"To make this meeting happen."
Huh? What's that supposed to mean? Not what I expected.
"Hmm?"
"I wanted to meet someone from Daehan."
"Any particular reason?"
"I believe that if our country is to prosper, we must learn from Daehan."
Oh no, that's bad. Copying us is a one-way express ticket to national ruin. I should talk him out of it.
"Sorry, but other countries that copy us go under. Why not look to other nations for inspiration instead?"
"I haven't traveled, but isn't there no country stronger than Daehan?"
I had no idea where this desperation was coming from, but Daehan only holds together because of me. Plugged into any other nation, the same system would collapse in less than a century. Of that I was certain.
"It's true Daehan is strong. But adopting that exact same structure is dangerous."
"Then what should we do?"
Vietnam's a centralized state, right?
"You have to build the politics and economy that fit your own country. Blindly imitating someone else never ends well."
What kind of politics would work here, I wonder….
"I can't say for certain, but first you'd need plenty of honest officials."
That's something we police ruthlessly on our end.
"Is that all it takes?"
"You need a steady supply of them. It's harder than you'd think."
It really is. One guy stays clean, then the next one squanders everything. Keeping honest officials coming in an unbroken line is no easy feat.
"And…."
"…."
Hmm…. Is communism about to come up here?
"Try making your goal a country where the workers live well."
"Workers?"
Okay, so not communism after all?
"Yes. Common folk like farmers, miners, blacksmiths."
"Why…?"
He seemed to have trouble grasping it. But honestly, once the people at the bottom start living well, everything else follows naturally.
"Forget the complicated stuff and think about it simply. If the lower classes prosper, the population grows, and more people means more tax revenue, right?"
"Ah—"
He could figure out the rest without me spelling it out. It's the most basic principle there is, and yet this is exactly what everyone fails at and ends up dirt poor.
"Then what is your view on war?"
"You mean expanding territory through war to make the nation strong?"
"Yes."
Sharp, but also the most short-sighted answer possible, in my opinion.
Not that we, sitting on the biggest chunk of land around, have any room to talk — but war is something best avoided.
"Seizing land and fattening the country on what comes out of it — but that land is, in the end, another country you'll have to look after. So you'd have to wage endless war without stop. Where exactly does it end?"
It's a bit of a leap, I admit, but wars fought for that kind of purpose really do never end, you know.
"Hah…."
"You'd conquer the nations weaker than Vietnam, but the moment you run into one stronger, they'll turn around and strike at you instead. You'll hit a wall."
By the way, this new emperor seems like he'll do fine. Why is he going around asking questions like this?
"Emperor Lê Tư Thành looks like he'll do a good job. Don't worry about it."
"Yes. He is an intelligent man."
Then what's the problem, exactly?
"But he's obsessed with developing only the capital region! He doesn't care one bit how the highlands or the south live!"
So what? That's your country's business, isn't it?
"Isn't this place close to the capital too? Wouldn't it be better to build the port down in the far south?"
Is the south really struggling that much to get by?
"Why should we do it? That's your job."
"The south borders the enemy and bleeds through endless war! The south, worn down holding the line, needs development!"
And how exactly am I supposed to meddle in that?
"How would it even be my place to interfere in your country's affairs?"
That's called interfering in internal affairs, you know?
"Still, if it were you, you could at least tell them to go south!"
What is this man even saying?
"We'd have to get something out of it too, you know? You don't think we came here to volunteer for free, do you?"
"So you're just a money-crazed vermin after all!"
Why are you throwing a tantrum at me?
"This conversation is going nowhere. Handle your own affairs."
"Ghk…."
Huh? Why's he looking so menacing? Did he just bite his lip? First time I've ever seen someone draw blood doing that….
「CRASH! THUD」
"Ugh!"
"Kill you, and this treaty dies with you. Isn't that right?"
"Don't do something you'll regret. Just walk away, and I'll pretend none of this happened."
So all those strange questions — he was just an assassin after all?
「Rustle, rustle」
"Aigoo! I said you could go, so stop patting me down!"
"Any weapons? Cooperate quietly and you won't be hurt. Where's the exit nobody knows about?"
So he went from killing me to kidnapping me? One look at those sinister eyes and the way he kept groping around, I could guess why.
Well, he clearly planned to have his fun with me first, then either kill me or lock me away somewhere. Fat chance.
「Clack」
I had no choice but to pull a pistol out of subspace.
"Move. If this hits you, it's going to hurt. A lot."
"What is that? What is that? Where did it come from? Hand it over, now!"
「BANG」
"AAAAAGH!"
He got blood on the outfit I'd been given as a gift, but hey — he didn't listen, so what could I do?
At least I shot him in the leg. He wouldn't be dying right away.
「CRASH」
Was Saseng-ie near the door? He's the first one in.
"What happened?!"
"Gyaaaaah."
He was clearly in a lot of pain — the round had gone clean through, so the wound was bigger than it looked.
Well, look at everyone come pouring in. Gunshots are louder than you'd think, apparently.
"My lady!"
"What has happened?!"
My girls came sprinting over looking murderous, and honestly, I'd have told him he'd have been better off just dying.
"Whew. It's nothing serious. He seems to have come fully intending to torpedo the treaty."
"Are you alright?"
"Ah~ this isn't my inner robe. It was a gift, and now I have to throw it away. What a waste."
The dress was dirty and torn, and now there was blood on top of it. Yeah, it was definitely headed for the trash.
「Flap」
"Huh?"
It's not cold. Why are you taking off your outer robe for me?
"Well, I may have lost interest in you, but a lady's undergarments shouldn't be on full display. People might get the wrong idea about you."
"Gasp! You can't!"
Would you look at this dangerous man? Blood everywhere, a crime scene, and this is what he's thinking about?
「THUD」
"Get up!"
"Gaaaah."
The terrorist being dragged off by my girls. With all the groveling about why he did it coming, he was in for a world of pain.
"May we do with him as we please?"
"Sure. You haven't signed yet, but that land was promised, so go ahead."
This place is a Concession Zone — anything that happens within a set radius around here gets settled according to Daehan law.
"I hear he's military. Won't there be an uprising?"
"The long war did leave us one good thing."
"What's that?"
"The army is concentrated in the capital."
Ah, right. And with the war only recently over, there are still plenty of soldiers who haven't settled back into civilian life.
"Wait here a moment. I'll go change and be right back."
"Sure. Hm? Hold on. Looks like the blood only got on your clothes?"
Whatever got on my skin had apparently wiped away in the meantime.
"Tsk tsk. Don't go digging into a lady's secrets! You have no charm whatsoever. Which is why—"
"You already have three wives and more than ten concubines?"
Wow. Look at this absolute lunatic. And he was the one making moves on me?
"Sheesh…."
"Don't tell me you thought I was still unmarried at my age?"
"Incredible…."
Leaving the weirdo behind, I should go change in the next room….
Everywhere I go, it's nothing but absurdity.
「Rattle」
"Hah…. What even was that."
Unbelievable! But hey, a first assassination attempt for me. Got to experience something new.
So this is why it's such a pain to meet kings and emperors. If I'd been an ordinary person, I'd be dead.
「Rattle」
"There. Your clothes are bloodstained too — they'll have to go."
Imperial robes must have cost a fortune. What a shame. I should send him a new outfit as a gift later.
"You're not hurt anywhere?"
"Nope. Secret, though — I'm Daehan's secret weapon. I'm unbelievably good at fighting."
"BWAHAHAHA!"
He thought I was joking? I'm serious! What's so funny about that?!
"Get some rest for now. My girls are excellent at guarding things, so there's nothing to worry about."
"Right. The mood's a bit spoiled anyway — let's pick this up tomorrow."
Now then, shall we go meet the fellow who ruined the atmosphere?
Daehan has no prisons. Prisoners are either dead before they can be made, or if captured, they're held in temporary camps before being shipped off to mines nobody wants to look at.
"Mmmmph! Mmmph! Mmph!"
Anyway, the girls had thrown together a temporary holding cell in a storage shed — one of the quick jobs they'd rushed to build.
I'd only been gone long enough to change clothes and have a brief chat, and they'd already done a number on him. He was half-unconscious already.
"What did you do to him in that time?"
"Just gave him a little rubdown, my lady."
From the looks of him, they'd kneaded him head to toe — wrung the man out like a rag and then poured holy water over him, by the feel of it.
Even if we let him go, he'd be a wreck for life.
"Did you take the bullet out?"
"Noooope~"
Good work. If they release him, he'll just die a miserable, agonizing death.
"Mmph!"
"Hello there, friend. Shall we have a little chat?"
He looked like he had plenty to say, so I loosened the gag in his mouth a bit.
"You think you'll get away with this?!"
"Probably? Very, very probably?"
"Untie me at once!"
"Didn't you say you were going to kill me earlier?"
Since when did his story change? Pretty sure he said he'd kill me and then himself just a moment ago?
"That was—"
"…."
"…."
"Ugh, not talking, huh. You picked the worst possible thing to do."
Who leaves a person hanging like that?
Well, I'd wait a little longer. I stepped back a bit and my girls closed in around him looking fierce again.
"No! Wait! I'll talk!"
"…."
"…."
"Mmph! Mmmph!"
My girls couldn't care less about any of that, though?
「Swish」
"Oh?"
"This may be difficult to watch, my lady."
I was fine, but the girls really do cherish me to a terrifying degree.
「THUD THUD CREAK CRACK」
"Uuuugh! Mph! Mmph!"
"Holy water."
The horrible sounds came through just fine — why couldn't they block my ears like in the dramas?
"Huuuuh-huh-huh-huuuh… huuuuh…"
The man was half broken already.
"Let's try talking again. Being honest is how we avoid all this, you know? You can see it for yourself — you won't die, and this will just keep happening over and over. Understood?"
"Mph. Mph."
He was nodding, so something in him had finally caved.
Honestly, thanks to the holy water, people hardly ever die from torture like this.
Unless their heart suddenly gives out from shock, that is.
"Now — why did you do it?"
"The south is preparing a rebellion."
Even if they rose up, they couldn't march north — they'd just sit around waiting to be crushed, no?
If they were truly serious, they'd have attacked now, while the emperor and all the high officials were gathered here.
Oh? Could it be they're planning to break away entirely?
"Then why did you try to assassinate me?"
"Just threaten you a little, take you away, and make you my wife…."
"You have got to be kidding me."
Is he an idiot? Same song and dance from antiquity straight through the Middle Ages? Since when is assault a cure-all for everything?
"Then what was the original plan?"
"I came to ask for your cooperation."
"With us?"
"Yes. We'd heard tales of Daehan, where everyone prospers. It sounded so like the nation we dream of building that I believed we could come to an understanding."
So the country he wanted to create resembled Daehan, and he'd hoped to make his case — but I kept saying all the wrong things, so he couldn't even bring up the cooperation, and things spiraled from there?
And in the middle of all that, what exactly was I trying to pull, hmm?
"But you acted alone, without a shred of fear?"
"…."
Oh? Now hold on just a minute?
"Hey. You're not alone, are you?"
"…."
This man has friends. Inside here? Or waiting outside?
「BOOM! KRA-KOOM! BOOM!」
That's cannon fire, isn't it?
「Thud. Kuu-doom. Thud, thud」
"You bastard, I'll deal with you later! Girls — let's get out there!"
"Right behind you, my lady!"