Steal My Gold, Face My Wrath
Stealing MY money? Unforgivable.
It was the year 3752 of the Daehan calendar, and I'd been two whole years in Western Europe, knee-deep in gunpowder production, when all this started.
And now here I was, wandering the coastlines of Southeast Asia.
"Where the hell are those damn pirates hiding?"
"Please hold on tight, milady…."
That's right — two full years adrift at sea, all to find the pirates' home base and wipe them out root and branch.
Two years ago, they'd dared to steal my gold. Now, granted, it wasn't much — a mere ten nyang or so. But it was mine, and having something of mine taken? That stung.
"Why are there so many islands here?!"
"That's probably why they keep scurrying around, hiding in one place after another."
"Whose side are you on, huh? The pirates'?!"
This little rascal. He's a T through and through. How dare he not take my side?
Whew. Whew. Calm down and think, Haneul. There has to be a way. We couldn't possibly land on and search every single one of these islands.
What I wanted was to spot them before they spotted us and ran off to hide. Was there really no way to do that?
"Um… milady?"
"What is it, you rascal!"
My voice sharpens all on its own. Ahem, ahem….
"No, no, that's not it — couldn't we just look from somewhere high up?"
"That's right!"
Not that I did that on purpose, of course…. Why does this keep happening?
"Aha…. Do try to rein in that temper of yours…."
"What was that, you rascal?!"
"Anyway, there is one way to see from high up in the sky…."
It's not like we have airplanes. How exactly is he planning to look? Was he saying we should land on an island and climb a mountain?
"I'll go prepare, then."
"Huh? Oh? Sure, go ahead."
What kind of tools do we even have? Well, he seemed confident, so presumably this wasn't his first time?
Clatter clatter.
He came back carrying what looked like wooden poles and scraps of cloth, and started assembling them. A small sail, maybe? What on earth was he doing?
"So, who's going up this time?"
"Hmm… Jeon-ga, maybe?"
Something suspicious was clearly afoot, and it was the first time I'd ever seen the kids so reluctant about anything.
"How about we skip this and just keep circling around like we have been?"
"We're circling because we can't find them, genius…."
"Ugh…."
I'd lost count of how many expedition voyages we'd launched in those two years, patrolling the seas like this. The pirates did seem to have thinned out….
But we still hadn't found my gold!
Ah… calm down. The kids are trying their best, even doing things they'd rather not do, aren't they?
"We'll head out now, then."
"You remember the signal?"
"Yes…."
And with that, he began strapping ropes over his arms and legs. What was he planning? Why was he so tense about it?
A first. These kids had something they were afraid of! I mean, other than the prayer room, that is.
Weren't these the same lunatics who'd tossed bombs around and played with them like toys because even those didn't scare them?
"Ready!"
"You have to get up cleanly when the wind comes!"
"Yes, sir!"
Hm? Up? Riding the wind? Don't tell me he meant to hoist himself into the sky hanging off that giant kite?
You'd see far, sure, but was this actually useful?
The moment the wind died, that was a free fall, wasn't it?
"Hey, kids! Isn't this way too dangerous?"
"Uh…. It'll probably be fine?"
Hey. That sounded weird just now, didn't it? It sounded like you were asking me!
"Well, no one's died yet!"
"Quite a few have almost died, though, haven't they?"
"Ahem, ahem!"
Ah. So what you're telling me is that somebody, somewhere, is broken?
Given the kids' personalities, I'd figured at least a few would love this sort of thing — did they just hate heights?
Whiiiiine.
"Oh! The wind's coming!"
"Get it up, quick!"
"Hurry it up!"
They scrambled to raise the kite, and it caught the wind at once, climbing skyward. And the friend who was supposed to hang from the line? He started climbing the mast?
"Huh? Why are you climbing up there?"
"Ah — he hangs onto the line from there, you see. Once the kite's up high and drifting, if you just dangled from the ship, you'd get dragged overboard. That's why he climbs."
Oh? Right, of course. He wasn't hanging from the kite directly — he'd ride up to a certain altitude first, and only then grab the line, so of course the rope would be slack by then. They'd clearly done this more than once or twice?
"Nnnngh…."
But he really didn't want to go up, did he? The line had gone taut, and still he clung to the mast, refusing to let go.
"Looks like he doesn't want to do it. Let's just call it off, okay…?"
"Everyone else does it, milady."
I've done it, so you have to do it too. That was the thinking, apparently?
Something about the way these people operated was never quite sane….
"Hey! You rascal, are you letting go or not?"
"I don't think he is!"
"Should I go up instead?"
"Nnnngh…."
With the line pulled that taut, he looked like he'd simply launch skyward if he let go. Why was he still resisting?
"You're dead."
The Deck Boss bared his teeth and began climbing the mast where the kid clung. This was a situation where he'd get beaten even worse when he came back down, wasn't it?
"No, why are you coming up! I'm going! I said I'm going!"
"No! Don't you dare! Stay right there, you little—!"
Hm. On second thought, maybe just climbing up and refusing to come down would've been better for him?
"Have a safe trip!"
THWACK!
"WAAAAAH!"
He'd dug in his heels like he was about to go any second now, but in the end he took one hit and went flying into the sky.
Hanging from the kite as he rose, swaying back and forth like a pendulum — that had to make you dizzy.
"!$!%!@$…."
He seemed to be saying something, but the sound vanished fast. He was rising pretty quickly.
Should I have just flown up myself and looked around? Honestly, yes. There was an easy method all along, wasn't there?
"But how high are we sending him? I can barely see anything?"
"However far the line goes, milady?"
Ah. If the rope ran out at this rate, wouldn't he really die?
BOOM!
"Oh! The signal!"
"Where?"
"To the east!"
"Turn the ship!"
What could you actually see from that high up? Was it his good eyes, or a good spyglass?
"Haul that one back down too, quickly!"
"Move it, hurry!"
They began reeling him down, but the kite was so enormous, and catching so much wind, that pulling it in looked anything but easy.
"Nnngh! The wind must be too strong!"
"What do we do?"
"Should we just let him go?"
What? What kind of terrifying talk was that, you people?
SHING!
"No! Wait a moment!"
"Yes?"
Why did you just draw a sword?!
"What are you about to do?"
"It won't come in, so I was going to cut the line."
"And the kid up there?"
"He'll fall somewhere on the way and make his way home, won't he?"
Oh…. These merciless little….
"What if he goes even higher because you cut it?"
"He'll survive somehow, surely?"
No wonder nobody wanted to go up!
"Step aside. I'll bring him down."
"Eh? You, milady? With what strength?"
What strength — with telekinesis, I could beat every last one of you at arm wrestling. Get it through your heads.
GRrrrrrind — hoooooowl.
And I began hauling in the rope with my telekinesis. The wind up top must have been truly fierce, because I could hear the rope creaking under an enormous strain.
"Wow…. So this is what it looks like when it actually comes in?"
"You never brought anyone down before?"
"It usually won't budge, so we cut the line. Or they just hang on until the wind dies down."
No wonder nobody wanted to go up. If it were me, I'd be pretty reluctant to hang on either.
And at last I hauled him back aboard.
"Hhhic! Milady! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
The poor kid was crying — that's how wretched he'd been. Aigoo….
"Hey, everyone! I saw everything up there! You were about to cut the line, weren't you!"
"What else could we do when it wouldn't come in?"
"Then you should've at least tied him down!"
"Huh? We were in a hurry, that's all! Sorry."
You don't look sorry at all? And there's something in that face — the wistful regret of a veteran who just missed out on his hazing ritual of cutting a rookie loose into the wild blue yonder?
So this is how dynamic life at sea really was? The deck of a ship was already pure wilderness. I felt like I was raising new employees far too roughly….
"Ah! Right — what did you see up there?"
"Oh, right! On an island to the east there's a hidden cove tucked inside! There were ships moored right near it!"
So that's why they were so hard to find — they had hideouts like that? The locals really did have the advantage in this kind of thing!
Now this felt like a genuine find. And if we went, there'd surely be plenty of treasure they'd stockpiled over the years, wouldn't there?
"Well done!"
"Thank you, milady!"
"Now get back up the mast and take a good look — can you see that island from here?"
"Aye, milady!"
So he didn't hate heights after all. He'd climbed the mast just fine. Which meant the problem was either the kite itself or these lunatics trying to fling him out to sea — one of the two.
"Deck Boss!"
"Yes, milady!"
"Make sure that kite comes down properly every time from now on. It looked like you were sending people off on purpose."
The Deck Boss flinched — so it had been on purpose, huh?
"What good does it do, flinging people off like that? They just get hurt for nothing."
"Yes, milady…."
"You all barely get along as it is — do you really need to torment someone deliberately?"
"I'm sorry…."
He hadn't even done anything truly wrong; there was no need for him to droop like a scolded bee. So I said:
"Go torment someone else instead. If you want a target, pick one of those sorry bastards off the ships you capture along the way. Problem solved, right?"
"Oh!"
Why torment our own kid? If he wanted entertainment, he could grab some of those pirate types we were going to hunt down anyway.
"We're about to go capture plenty of them as it is, aren't we?"
"OOOOOHHH!!!!"
Huh? Their eyes just sparkled? Was flinging people out to sea that entertaining?
"The island! That's the island, right there!"
"Good work! Attaboy, Maknae!"
Something told me there'd be plenty of prisoners. And something else told me those pirates were about to have a very bad day. I'm no fortune-teller, but it hit me like a bolt.
Somehow I have a feeling that horn up ahead is about to be stained with the tears of pirates….
And so the Horned Whale bore down on the island in a straight line.
"Everyone, ready your weapons!"
"Hunting time!"
What? Were these lunatics planning to charge in head-on? That island surely had a watchtower at its peak — wouldn't they have spotted us and readied themselves?
"Circle around the island first! We have to find the entrance!"
As we drew close and made our circuit, there it was — past a sea-carved cave passage straight out of a movie, the hidden shoreline came into view.
Then a problem arose.
"That opening's way too small, milady!"
"Ugh…. What do we do?"
We might've squeezed the hull through somehow, but the masts were the issue. The ceiling was so low we'd have to cut them down by more than half.
"No help for it! The ship holds position here, and we transfer to the small boats!"
"Aye!"
Crreeeak, crreeeak.
Two boats — ten-to-twelve-seaters, by the look of them — began to lower from the ship's sides.
"She'll tip — lower them slowly!"
"Careful now!"
"Gather the armor amidships! Everyone puts it on once we land on the island!"
They bustled back and forth, busy as ants. After selecting the landing party, twenty men would storm the island while the rest stayed aboard to keep watch over it.
There were only two boats, you see, and more than three hundred people on the ship.
"Say, where did they even find an island like this?"
"Chilly place. Looks like somewhere villains would live."
Coming from you people, who run around doing genuinely villainous things, that's rich, isn't it? No wonder even pirates flee from you.
"One! Two! One! Two!"
Splash, splash.
"Row, row, faster! They're right before our eyes!"
The crew threw their backs into it, pouring out every ounce of strength. In the middle of each boat, armor was stacked to match the headcount, with ammunition and guns slung within easy reach.
Cartridge cases really had made everything so much easier. Back in the day, we'd have had to baby every charge — would it get splashed? Would it soak up damp? — and haul it around like treasure.
"Stay sharp! The enemy may have come out to greet us!"
"Wouldn't that be a good thing?"
"Let's see if you're still singing that tune with an arrow in your forehead!"
"No need to worry! By tonight, the enemy will be bleeding a great deal more than we are. Heh heh heh."
Fearless, or just drunk on confidence? Get on land and put your armor on first, then you can swagger all you like.
Take a shot to the heart at close range, and you'd be just as dead as anyone.
"Keep your eyes peeled!"
"Watching, milady!"
Eight men rowed while two at the bow scanned the shoreline for anything dangerous. The armored pair, if it came to it, could double as human shields, couldn't they?
"If any arrows come flying, you two go first with my blessing."
"Aye, milady!"
Crossbows and ballistae worried me a little — but did people in Southeast Asia even use weapons like that? What was their main armament, anyway?
"I've got a question!"
"Yes, milady!"
"What weapons do the Southeast Asians here use?"
"Swords, spears, bows — and cannons."
"Huh?"
Something scary just snuck into that list, didn't it?
BOOM! KABOOM! BOOM!
That's right — I had a feeling we'd be hearing sounds like this!
"Watch out!"
"No! Row faster! We have to land faster!"
The rowers' hands began flying faster still. They weren't expecting the cannons to hit us, maybe — but even a near miss sent you straight to the Dragon King's palace.