The Second-Best Revelation
When the meal was served and we had all taken our seats at the table, the psychological pressure hit me with renewed force. Aegina’s eyes across from me seemed to ask when I planned to speak, and the mere thought of how they would react once they learned my true identity and the current situation robbed the food of any taste.
“Lord Birett? Is the food not to your liking?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
No matter how I turned it over, I couldn’t reveal the truth now. My own misjudgment was bad enough, but even if I laid everything bare this instant, who exactly would benefit and in what way?
“By the way, Sir Conwell. Did Anak say nothing about his future plans or leave any other messages?”
“He gave no particular instructions.”
Then one of the three brothers spoke as though the memory had only just surfaced.
“Now that I think of it, he mentioned that if nothing urgent arose, he intended to head north.”
North. The information was too vague to be useful, yet I still committed it to memory.
“Then you’ll all be leaving soon?”
“It seems we must, Miss Jane.”
“Is there something you wished to say?”
She hesitated briefly, then her eyes began to shine.
“Could I possibly accompany you?”
Oh, look at that determined gaze. The seemingly reckless drive of a woman in love never fails to astonish people. It reminded me of the moment Aegina had declared before the king that she would become our companion. Whatever the case, her action presented me with an unexpected opportunity.
“Miss Jane, that would be…”
At her words, both Rowell and Aegina turned to me with flustered expressions. They weren’t asking how to handle the situation; they were asking whether it was all right to reveal the truth now. I spoke quickly, yet kept my tone casual.
“Well, that could work.”
I saw their eyes widen in shock, but I deliberately looked away.
“Really?”
“Would that be acceptable, Sir Rowell?”
Neither Sir Conwell nor his wife seemed inclined to object. After all, with the audience concluded, what reason was there to refuse a chance to travel with the hero?
“Ah, but we don’t know how long the journey will take, and it won’t exactly be comfortable…”
“It’s fine! I can endure it!”
Just as I had expected. I had been so focused on the conversation that I finally set down the untouched dessert I had been holding for some time.
“Still, even though the unicorn cured you completely, Miss Jane, you suffered from a long illness. You likely lack the stamina for extended travel or sleeping outdoors. Besides, the food may not agree with you.”
When she tried to protest again, I raised my hand to stop her.
“Therefore, if you truly insist on coming, it would be best if you rode in the carriage. What is your opinion, Sir Conwell?”
“Indeed, that makes sense. I’ll prepare one at once.”
A bright smile bloomed across her face. I also caught Aegina’s gaze, which was subtly boring into me.
“It would be wise for Miss Jane to return to her room and prepare clothes and other necessities.”
“Of course! Please excuse me for a moment.”
She rose hurriedly and left the dining room. That pure-hearted eagerness to see the one she adored as soon as possible made me feel as if we had returned to our academy days, even though the age gap between us wasn’t large.
The girls who used to dash about just for another glimpse of Rowell or Senior Julian had worn exactly that same expression.
Well, the cunning ones among them did employ schemes quite unbecoming of their age in order to use me as a stepping stone.
Girls could be utterly ruthless when necessary, and far more cunning than boys. Had I been even slightly less aware of my own position, I might have suffered serious wounds.
“This is troubling. I worry our inadequate daughter will only burden the heroes. Please take good care of her. If it were up to me, I would…”
While Sir Conwell continued, his wife summoned the servants and began issuing instructions for the items to be loaded into the carriage. It was clear she was ordering them to pack food, clothing, emergency medicine, and a considerable sum of money besides.
Her brothers stared enviously at the door Jane had exited and at Sir Conwell, seriously contemplating whether they should declare that they, too, wished to go.
“Sir Conwell, we should begin our own preparations to depart.”
Aegina smiled brightly in my direction. Her tone was beautiful and refined, her voice soft, her smile benevolent, yet her fists remained tightly clenched.
“Ah, as for the luggage, we can load it together…”
“No. Since Miss Jane has joined us, we’ll need to set a separate schedule among ourselves…”
As she spoke, Aegina tapped Rowell’s shoulder beside her—lightly, yet at a speed so swift that an ordinary person like Sir Conwell, or even I who had watched her movements up close since the audience, could barely register it.
“Ah, yes, of course. We definitely can’t follow the original plan.”
Even though she had held back, the force was still enough to make Rowell’s body sway slightly. Nevertheless, he rose from his seat with natural grace.
“Birett, you’re coming too, right?”
Her gentle tone did nothing to hide the fact that her eyes were not smiling at all. I had expected as much.
“Yeah.”
“Then we’ll see you shortly.”
After our farewells, we left the room following Aegina, who walked far more slowly than usual.
“…Um, Aegina?”
She gave no answer. Rowell tried to speak, but the brilliantly smiling expression on her face made him close his mouth again.
We continued walking in silence for a long while. At last, after an interminable stretch of tension, we reached the deserted rear garden. The one who had been leading suddenly turned to face us—no, to face me specifically.
“What exactly are you planning, Birett?”
The deliberate emphasis she placed on the name made it clear how angry she was.
“Why did you allow Miss Jane to join us? And why haven’t you revealed the truth?”
All of that was fair, Aegina. But please unclench your fists. I genuinely regretted not having my barrier equipped at this moment.
“…There’s nothing to be gained by revealing it right now. It wouldn’t benefit her, her family, or us.”
“And so? You intend to live as Birett for the rest of your life? Is that what you consider the second-best option? Mr. Second-Best Strategist?”
She only used that title when she was truly furious or when she felt truly sorry for me. This time it was clearly the former.
“Revealing it immediately would shock her greatly. She might not even believe our words. Or rather, she would deliberately choose not to believe them. She has already endured a long illness; denying reality in that way could be dangerous on multiple levels. So let’s travel together, gradually easing the shock, and have the person himself explain when the time is right.”
He was someone who performed good deeds without seeking reward. He was also someone who had refused a proposal from a beautiful daughter of a wealthy house. I didn’t know why he had borrowed my name, but his actions didn’t appear malicious. With luck, we could gain his cooperation and craft the smoothest possible scenario.
“If we explain that he had a legitimate reason for the deception and offer a sincere apology, the shock to her shouldn’t be too severe…”
“Yes. As always, it’s a very plausible and rational explanation.”
For a moment I was speechless. Not simply because she had cut me off. She was clearly angry, yet her eyes held more than anger. Beneath that gaze lay a faint sadness and disappointment so potent it sealed my lips at once.
“Anak. Speak honestly. Or if you can’t say it aloud, at least be honest with yourself. When you first hid your identity, and when you accepted Miss Jane’s proposal just now—did you truly consider everything and choose what you believed was best? Or did you simply do what you wanted and then invent reasons afterward?”
I could not answer. There was no need. We knew each other too well.
“Anak. You simply didn’t want to say it. You simply wanted to avoid that moment.”
…Yes. That was exactly it. Even if I hadn’t acted on pure impulse without any forethought, I was different from Lord Medrufe. Unlike him, who analyzed every situation objectively, calculated the variables, and only then acted, my heart had already tilted in a certain direction before any calculation. My choices were closer to the act of reinforcing a decision I had already made.
“Miss Jane is on her way to meet the man she loves. Even if the engagement was never formally established, even if he does not love her, none of that matters to her. The closer she draws to him, the stronger her longing will grow. The moment she sees him, nothing else will enter her mind. And you want her to hear from his own mouth that everything was a lie? You truly believe that would lessen the shock?”
It might. Or it might do the opposite. But what Aegina was pointing out now was not the outcome itself, but the selfishness that had kept me from considering it.
“Anak. Your thoughts and actions are not inherently wrong. It may be exactly as you say. You are intelligent. You have always been considerate. You have always been kind to us. And we are grateful for that.”
Please don’t say that, Aegina. The sun and moon should not praise the glow of a firefly, no matter how sincerely they mean it.
“However, I hope you won’t reserve that kindness only for us, and only for our sake. You are not making this choice purely for Miss Jane. You are simply ignoring and using her feelings to avoid a moment of discomfort.”
…This was the gulf between them and me that could never be bridged. The difference between those who chose “good” in every moment and someone like me who ultimately chose “self.”
“That is all I wanted to say. Since matters have reached this point, I will follow your lead for now. So please, find the best possible way for her.”
“…Don’t worry, Aegina.”
Even if I shaped my plans to fit my actions, I was at least competent at that part.
“I already have something in mind.”
When our conversation ended and we headed toward the main gate, a large carriage and the horses we had ridden were already prepared. Miss Jane, now dressed in light traveling clothes, waited for us, along with Sir Conwell and the rest of the family.
The luggage compartment held less than I expected, yet one noticeably heavy box caught my eye. It was neither too large nor too small, but the lid had been securely fastened so it could not be opened. I could easily guess its contents.
It had probably been prepared with us in mind as well as her, but even after the journey ended, that box would likely return here with most of its contents untouched. We might spend a little for Jane’s sake, but Rowell and Aegina were frugal by nature.
“Ah, have you finished your discussion? All preparations are complete.”
“Yes. Thank you for going to such trouble.”
While Rowell and Aegina exchanged greetings, I mounted my horse. They had loaded my baggage onto the exact mount I had ridden earlier. It was only natural, yet it showed both keen observation and efficient handling.
“No, Miss Jane. There’s no need to hurry like that.”
I stopped Jane as she rushed to board the carriage. I offered a light bow to her and the Conwell family.
“Bagloros and I will depart a little ahead. We need to reach the nearest city and locate Anak. Miss Jane, please travel at a more leisurely pace with Rowell and Aegina.”
Even an ordinary horse would outpace a carriage. If I enchanted the mount and rode without rest alongside Bagloros, the difference in speed would be overwhelming, and the gap would only widen with time.
In the time we gained, I would find the man and coordinate our stories. I needed a scenario she could accept with as little pain as possible.
“Thank you for your warm hospitality despite our sudden visit. We’ll see you soon.”
I smiled at Rowell and Aegina, silently asking them to look after her, then set off. While I finished the necessary tasks, they would care for her and gently ease the shock she was bound to receive, little by little.