An Old Game Renewed
“Well then……”
And just as I was about to take a step, someone came walking toward me at a fairly brisk pace from a distance.
She—no, even knowing the truth, that appearance was confusing. It was my senior, Julian. Even from afar, he was dressed in clothes that looked meticulously chosen. Though they weren’t skirts or particularly feminine attire, they still drew every eye with their captivating elegance.
“……”
As expected, it wasn’t just me. The other merchants were also staring at her—no, at him. A few of them wore expressions so troubled that it was clear they were seriously questioning their own sense of attraction.
“Anak!”
She—no, why was I doing this today? He approached with a face full of delight and pulled me into a light embrace before I could even speak.
“Welcome! I can’t believe you actually came to see me!”
A strange fragrance and the softness of his touch sent a small shiver through me, yet at the same time a wave of gratitude and guilt washed over me.
“Have you been well, Senior?”
The memory of past fear made my voice tremble slightly, but thankfully it wasn’t too obvious. Julian soon released me, his face tinged with a faint blush of embarrassment.
‘…Hmm?’
Erill asked in a mischievous tone who that woman was. Apparently, even Erill saw him as unmistakably female.
‘She’s not a woman. He’s a senior from the same academy—a man.’
Erill only responded with a strange little laugh. It felt like the smile an older sister might give a younger brother, and being treated like a child didn’t sit well with me.
‘It’s true! No matter how he looks, he really is a man!’
But no matter what I said, Erill’s mind didn’t change. If anything, she seemed even more amused by my reaction.
“Don’t just stand there. Let’s go. This is important, right?”
His voice was calm, yet the way he spoke and the slight tremor in the hand that took mine betrayed his excitement. That honest goodwill and unchanging affection made the fact that we were the same gender feel all the more regrettable.
And the knowledge that this visit wasn’t born of friendship but of a request only added another layer of guilt.
“Um, Senior. The reason I came is……”
I knew it was tactless, but I had no choice. Letting him harbor unnecessary expectations would have been cruel. Yet Julian raised a hand and stopped me.
“Don’t worry. I already know you came to ask for something. Still, you came to see me. That alone makes me happy.”
A dull ache spread through my chest. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t return his feelings; I also felt sorry for never having sought him out even once since graduating from the academy.
During the great war it couldn’t be helped, but afterward I could have visited at least once. Instead, I had gone out of my way to avoid the Kruse Merchant Coalition, even asking Medrup to keep me away from any gatherings the coalition might attend.
I had my reasons, of course, but standing before him now, all I felt was guilt and regret.
Led by his hand, I entered a luxurious café. It seemed to double as a social club; without a membership card, entry was impossible. Upon seeing Julian’s card, however, we were guided to the most secluded, old-fashioned private room.
“You haven’t eaten yet, have you? They serve meals here.”
When I nodded, he lightly summoned a waiter with a gesture. The waiter bowed without asking any questions and headed toward the kitchen.
“Did the last matter go well?”
“Yes. It turned out a little differently than expected, but it’s resolved.”
“I see.”
He didn’t press further. He simply watched me with gentle eyes.
“…That outfit looks lovely on you.”
The silence and his gaze had grown too heavy, so I spoke. Still, it was an honest impression. I had never been particularly interested in fashion, and having grown up with Rowell and seen Julian throughout our academy days, I knew that the person wearing the clothes mattered far more than the clothes themselves.
Whenever Lady Gera, Rowell’s mother, made clothes for Rowell, she would make a set for me as well. Even as a child, I could tell that identical fabric and design produced very different results depending on who wore them.
But Julian’s current attire possessed something beyond that. I couldn’t quite put it into words, yet it amplified his charm without being excessive.
“Oh my, really? Thank you!”
Watching him brighten at my single compliment, I finally understood why he had been late.
“But just the clothes?”
His smiling eyes were truly charming and captivating. How many people had gathered around him at the academy just to see that smile?
“You already know you’re handsome, Senior.”
“I want to hear it directly, though.”
A sigh escaped me. Why did he have to be a man?
“You’re beautiful too, Senior.”
“Thank you! You’re handsome as well, Anak.”
“Please don’t say empty words. Right now my clothes are……”
Though I wore Dawn’s clothes underneath, I had thrown on shabby outerwear when leaving the palace to avoid drawing attention.
“I’m not talking about the clothes. I’m talking about you.”
For a moment, his gaze left me speechless. Once again, it was unfair for him to say such things with that expression and tone.
“Please stop teasing me.”
“Oh my, I’m always sincere, you know?”
A short while later, the meal arrived. Dishes piled high on silver plates, and they looked quite appetizing.
“Well then, let’s eat. I was thinking of ordering some Antares, but since we’ll be discussing business, I suppose I’ll have to hold back.”
He sent the waiters away, then stood and personally carved a slice of turkey onto my plate.
“…I heard the remnants of the Demon King’s army appeared again. Was it handled properly?”
The appearance of the Ryburn clones had been kept secret from all but the highest echelons of each nation, yet this was the Kruse Merchant Coalition’s information network at work. Or perhaps the secret had simply been lifted now that the situation was over.
“To be honest, it wasn’t resolved perfectly. But there’s no need to worry. There shouldn’t be any direct threat anymore.”
“I thought as much. Ah, more importantly, do you remember Ivan? Ivan Belf.”
Ivan Belf. I remembered him. Like Julian, he had been our senior at the academy. His family wasn’t particularly prestigious, but when his sister married into a renowned ducal house, he had strutted around with his nose in the air for a while.
“Of course. You gave him quite the lesson back then.”
Using his suddenly elevated status, Ivan had insulted and harassed several female students who had previously rejected his advances, as well as a few male juniors from merchant families. Julian had dragged him to the training grounds and beaten him half to death.
“Well, looking back now, we were young, and I feel a bit sorry for him, but at the time he really was insufferable.”
After being thoroughly thrashed, Ivan had threatened that the ducal house wouldn’t stay silent because Julian was of merchant birth. That only made him a public enemy among the majority of academy students who admired Julian. In the end, the ducal house he had bragged about turned out to have deeper ties with the Kruse Merchant Coalition, so they suffered humiliation instead.
“I heard he’s receiving a knighthood in Sigmut this time.”
“Only now?”
Most male nobles who graduated from the academy with any real skill received a knighthood within a few years. Of course, it was purely honorary—no special privileges, just having one’s name added to the national knight registry. They weren’t actually assigned to a knight order or required to serve.
Yet more than ten years after graduation, and only now that the great war—when knights and soldiers had been desperately short—was finally over, he was receiving a knighthood?
“Apparently. Rumor has it that when the conscription order was issued during the war, he deliberately filed a missing-person report and fled to a distant relative’s house on the Sigmut frontier. Now that the war is over, he’s naturalizing in Sigmut and receiving the title there. That way he can keep his noble status.”
“I see.”
Well, I could understand fearing war and running away. Even if nobles had a duty to their country and people, there was a vast difference between speaking of it and facing it directly. During the great war, countless deserters had fled the allied front lines at the sight of approaching death.
Not everyone could be a hero. If I weren’t Rowell, I probably would have run too.
“That must be humiliating. He can keep the title, but he’ll be a laughingstock instead of gaining any honor.”
No grand ceremony accompanied an honorary knighthood. A single knight would visit the recipient’s home, present a sword and certificate, lightly tap the shoulder with the blade, and have them recite an oath. Even so, rumors would spread. People would talk about his knighthood and his cowardice, just as they were doing now.
And in high society, that was tantamount to social death. His marriage prospects would naturally be ruined as well. No noble house would accept his proposal.
“Exactly. So he sent a letter to me through one of our coalition’s people. He asked if I could help him somehow.”
I thought it was shameless, yet I also felt a twinge of pity. How pathetic must it have felt to beg the very person he had wronged at the academy?
“What exactly did he ask for?”
“He wrote all sorts of things, but in the end it boiled down to asking for a loan. He wants to use it as a bribe to buy a higher position than a mere honorary knighthood. He said that way he wouldn’t be mocked anymore.”
“How pitiful.”
How foolish. There was a limit to how high a position one could buy with bribes—especially now, when the empire’s power was at its peak and its internal affairs were stable. Even if he obtained a somewhat higher title, the mockery wouldn’t disappear. If anything, the higher and more awkward his position became, and the more gatherings he had to attend, the worse it would get.
To not realize that was truly foolish.
“Right. So, what do you think I wrote in my reply?”
His eyes sparkled with anticipation. This was a game we used to play occasionally in our dormitory rooms back at the academy—predicting how someone would act in a given situation. He had often wagered with me over it. Usually the stakes were light things like attending tea time together or taking a walk in town. As for the results… well, let’s just say I had a designated seat at tea time.
“Is this a bet?”
“Yes. If you guess correctly, I’ll grant whatever favor you came to ask.”
“And if I’m wrong?”
“A kiss… Just kidding. You don’t have to make that face. I know you hate it.”
Please don’t make jokes like that. And don’t smile so sadly while saying them.
“Just a light kiss on the cheek. No special meaning—just affection. Plenty of people greet each other that way.”
It was true that in many western regions, same-sex friends or mentors exchanged such greetings as a sign of affection and respect. I wasn’t used to it, but I had done it a few times at banquets. Still, the condition itself meant nothing. He had no intention of winning this bet in the first place.
I slowly nodded in agreement and lifted my fork to bring a piece of meat to my mouth. It really was quite delicious.
“…Small merchants chase immediate profit, ordinary merchants invest over time, and great merchants look to the greater cause.”