Chapter 196
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 196
Chapter Title: The Bird That Breaks the Egg
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The first time Xavier truly recognized his own world was from the moment he met Aiden.
Aiden.
Adrian Rune Wybone Arshio.
A man whose very name, "Wybone," meant "Why were you born?"—a stain upon the Imperial Family from the day he drew breath.
As such, he had to watch his step more carefully than anyone in the palace, and in the end, he was cast out to a remote exile without holding any real power.
And Xavier. His life hadn't been much different.
His mother was a woman from the Outers, after all. Hadn't he entered the palace without a shred of backing?
No matter where he went, enemies lurked everywhere.
That was why Venes placed such heavy expectations on Xavier—it was only natural.
But for Xavier, who had been born timid by nature, it was an unbearable burden. And he loathed himself for seeing it as a burden, wounding himself in the process.
So when two people covered in nothing but scars finally met...
Xavier was glad to see Aiden, his childhood friend, but he also sought solace from someone in a similar plight.
'But how can a person shine so brightly?'
Yet the Aiden that Xavier saw wasn't shrouded in darkness like him, nor did he view the world with weary exhaustion.
And soon enough, he discovered the reason.
The mage with silver-blue eyes and jet-black hair tied up high.
She was Aiden's emotional anchor.
"When I first joined the mercenary corps, it was my senpai who helped me out."
Back in those days when he was utterly clueless about everything.
Aiden had learned everything from one to ten from Jun.
Jun didn't have much to teach about swordsmanship specifically, but he advised on how to position oneself with fellow comrades in various situations.
Things like what to watch out for inside Blackout, and all sorts of other details.
Even before the mercenary corps was wiped out, Jun never skimped on advice for the obedient Aiden who always listened and followed.
"And... when the corps was annihilated, it was my senpai who saved me."
Aiden, explaining Jun with those dreamy eyes, truly seemed to glow.
There had been a fleeting moment of jealousy once. Why don't I have someone like that?
Then it hit him.
'No.'
Aiden hadn't changed because he met Jun.
He had shattered the walls of the world enclosing him and stepped out—that was how he met Jun.
'What about me? What do I do...?'
Mother. Venes.
Ah, my poor mother.
He thought of his mother before his own circumstances.
And so he turned away from his own feelings.
He had no choice.
For Xavier, who both longed for and feared the outside world, his mother's presence was his most reliable defense mechanism.
In that way, he pessimistically accepted his lot while convincing himself that for his mother's sake—and for the sake of all the Outers who depended on her—he had to shoulder this burden.
He donned his mask once more and vented his weary mind and body through conversations with Aiden. That was enough. He'd been fooling himself like that.
Then, once again, something from the outside rattled his cradle.
'Commander Jinovan.'
The commander of the Voltain ore fields in the Third Layer—a wasteland of promotions and a place called exile.
At first, Xavier just thought of him as a steadfast man.
After all, hadn't he risked his life to save both his older brother and Xavier?
But if asked whether that presence alone had stirred any real change in Xavier's parched heart, the answer was no.
The Imperial knights were all prepared to lay down their lives for the greater good, after all.
However.
The day he learned Jinovan's story, Xavier's entire life turned upside down.
That day, the area had been bustling with the aftermath of the venomous snake's demise.
With nothing much to do, Xavier had gone to check on Jinovan's condition and headed to his room.
That's when he heard voices from inside.
-The night I heard the news of my parents' deaths, I resolved myself in the training grounds. Someday, with this sword, I'd raise my family name high.
It was one man's vow.
Hearing that, Xavier felt an odd sense of comfort.
So there are others in this world clinging to unavoidable goals, just like me.
But Jinovan's next words revealed that as a delusion.
-The goal was noble. But the means were wrong. If you'd pursued only the sword, whether as a knight, a mercenary, or even a wandering swordsman—what would it matter?
The shock that hit Xavier was like a bolt of lightning.
It felt as if someone had seized his head and dragged him toward the truth by force.
He stood frozen at the door until their conversation ended, then bolted away at the sound of Jun emerging.
From that moment, Xavier began digging into who Jinovan was, and the more he learned of his life, the more he couldn't shake off the shock.
'The means... were wrong?'
For Xavier, who had never once doubted his mother's words—not even had the courage to— this planted the very seed of "doubt" for the first time.
'Mother wants to change the lives of the Outers.'
She was the hope of all Outers, and the reason such a young, beautiful woman had turned so venomous.
And to achieve that goal, he absolutely had to ascend the throne.
That was the life he'd believed in without question.
But was there truly no other way?
Really?
Once that doubt took root, it upended his narrow world entirely.
Dozens, hundreds of times a day, he pondered his circumstances, wondering if there was something he could change.
He agonized, reflected, brooded.
But each time, the shadow of his mother crushed his shoulders anew.
He had no choice.
Look at the life Venes had lived to place Xavier on the throne.
Now, after all that, would she change if he spoke up?
He was afraid.
Afraid of the shift in her gaze, afraid even to imagine himself standing before such a mother.
'Ah. I'm such a weak creature.'
Unable to reach even a single clear answer, unable to trust the doubts he'd nurtured himself.
His self-esteem crumbled.
He even wondered if such a self could ever suit the throne.
And whenever those thoughts arose—almost inevitably—thoughts of his mother reminded him he had to sit there, making him feel utterly pathetic.
All of it tangled into a chaotic mess, and as he endlessly drowned in thought...
'I should ask.'
He wanted to ask someone.
More precisely, he wanted to pour out his current feelings to anyone at all.
Before he ruined himself further, he hoped someone would tend to his wounds.
And at the end of that path was none other than the mage.
Jun.
Both Aiden and Jinovan had found change in their lives—and peace in their hearts—after meeting him.
Xavier believed he was the only one who could change him.
"That's why I came to you that day."
"...I see."
Back to the present.
Xavier's sudden visit to the sickroom.
In this room, with Aiden present, he laid bare every worry he'd harbored.
Like confessing sins before a god, like vomiting out the guilt he bore.
To an outsider, it might seem baffling.
Here were two men collapsed from battle wounds, and yet he was spilling his psychological burdens before them.
No one in their right mind would do this in front of patients.
"... ."
Yet Xavier's crumpled, wretched expression looked more pained than Jun or Aiden lying in their beds.
That spoke to how cornered he felt mentally.
Jun and Aiden both understood him.
'No, it's good he came to us and opened up. I'm actually grateful.'
Jun even felt thankful.
To him, Xavier had always been like a ticking bomb, ready to explode at any moment.
Though he'd somewhat escaped the Heavenly Sky Sect's schemes for now...
The sect would still see Xavier as ripe for the picking.
And with Venes still lurking in the shadows, it was hard to fully relax.
For such a Xavier to confide in no one else but him and Aiden?
It was a massive change—and one that greatly lowered Xavier's threat level in Jun's mind.
"First off... as you suspected. There are ways to help the Outers even without sitting on the throne."
"Is that... true?"
"Yes. Honestly, even sitting on the throne doesn't mean you can accomplish everything, does it?"
The Empire was vast.
No, "vast" didn't even begin to cover it.
The first nation to unify all humanity.
Naturally, its scope wasn't limited to a continent—it spanned the entire world.
In such a nation, could problems be limited to just one or two?
And could every single one be resolved through the Emperor alone?
Absolutely not.
"The Empire has endured trial and error for ages, devising every means to tackle such issues."
One of those was the existence of the nobility.
It wasn't that nobles simply sat in their positions relying on bloodline, barking orders at those beneath them.
Sure, such people existed, but most lost their noble status quickly.
"The influence of the Empire's nobles is far from insignificant."
"But most of the nobles I've seen..."
"Haha... Xavier. There's a saying back in my hometown."
"What is it?"
"You reap what you sow."
"Hm...?"
"Not sure if it fits perfectly here, but nobles tied to the Imperial Family focus on Imperial affairs, naturally. But look beyond, and you'll find countless nobles with their own duties, unbound by the palace."
Not every noble could obsess solely over Imperial politics.
And the palace didn't want that either.
In fact, most nobles far from the capital operated almost independently, with little Imperial oversight.
"They handle incidents according to their own circumstances, fostering self-reliance."
"Self-reliance..."
In the Empire—the world's sole unified nation—cultivating self-reliance might sound like plotting a coup at first glance.
Surprisingly, though, the Empire kept control over such figures to a minimum.
This was possible thanks to history.
Overly tight control often bred rebellion, and statistics showed that leaving those who thrived without interference benefited administration and reality alike.
"Yes. And Xavier, that's something you could do too."
"Me...?"
"Yes. Raise your social standing. It doesn't have to be the throne. Think the opposite: even if you did claim it, could you devote yourself solely to the Outers?"
"No... you can't."
Even his father had toiled endlessly to bring Outers from Blackout or the surface into the Empire.
Yet his plans dragged over decades precisely because the throne couldn't fixate on one issue.
"There are plenty of paths if you seek them. And above all... you already know the answer, Xavier."
"The answer?"
"Veles. Isn't there a reason you approached him—the mage of Ranes Mage Tower?"
"...!!!"
At that moment, Xavier stared at Jun with wide, startled eyes like a frightened rabbit.
He'd thought no one would notice.
Yet this mage before him had seen right through it, like a ghost.