05. Villainess Lady's Diet Operation (2)
Lionel de Arno. The head of a prestigious family and one of the imperial mages. A severe daughter fanatic.
Even though his family was obsessed with magic, when his daughter showed interest in the sword, he boldly overhauled the entire household.
In the original story, he appeared when Leperi's bullying of the heroine got exposed.
He pulled his daughter out of the Academy, and the father-daughter duo both exited the stage just like that.
"This lowly merchant greets the head of House Arno."
"A merchant? Not a chef?"
"Yes. I was just lucky that the ingredients I imported from the East suited the lady's taste."
First off, the humble approach. I figured House Arno would come calling, but the family head showing up personally was unexpected.
The count didn't seem pleased with the word "merchant" and stroked his chin beard.
"That's odd. The taste of the sauce left in the pot after my daughter ate—it wasn't something a mere merchant could produce."
"The... sauce left in the pot...!?"
"As you know, my daughter has a special fondness for food."
"…."
"I was watching her entrust dinner to you, but I figured if I asked for even one bowl, she'd hate me for it."
What was I supposed to say? Agreeing would be like admitting his daughter was a pig, but denying it might come off as him not knowing his own kid.
"I should have greeted you first, Count... but I was following the lady's orders and didn't think of it. My apologies."
"Haha! You worry about the strangest things. My daughter was so happy—does any of that matter?!"
Luckily, the count was cooler than I'd expected. Classic doting dad.
"Um, may I ask what brings you to this humble shop?"
"Ah, yes, I must've startled you by dropping by so suddenly. My daughter wouldn't stop talking about you."
"About me?"
"Yes. Something like, 'I have to pay top gold to make him our exclusive chef.'"
"I'm sorry, but I'm…."
"Ah, of course I know. You're under exclusive contract with Owl's Nest Inn, and you have no intention of becoming a chef."
He wasn't being persistent after all? Was he just here to buy something?
Suddenly, he uncrossed his arms, his gaze turning serious.
"But here's the thing. She said she'd do anything to lose weight if you just grant that one request…."
"…!"
Oh, shit. How good was that homemade gyudon?
A girl who needs at least 20 servings to feel full suddenly declares a diet?!
This was a deal even I, as Leperi's dad, couldn't refuse!
"No matter how devoted I am to my daughter, I'm no fool who can't separate public from private."
"……."
"However, if one man like you could solve my beloved daughter's biggest problem, wouldn't a father be justified in a moment of folly?"
Ooooh…. Where had I seen those eyes recently?
Definitely the look the lady had right before she nearly crushed my shoulder back at the shop.
"Refusing doesn't seem to be an option... does it, Count?"
"Exactly. Consider this a notification. I won't treat you stingily."
"If I become your exclusive chef, I won't be able to continue my dealings with Lady Iris."
Mentioning the sword saint made the count's smile crack ever so slightly.
Yeah. You don't mess with the world's strongest. No matter how mighty House Arno was, how could they beat Iris?
In all the original story's developments, there wasn't a single line about Iris failing when she had to use force.
Whether it was a monster, an army, or even the demon king.
"True... crossing the sword saint is unpredictable."
Right? Some things just aren't doable. Give up already.
I'll sell you gyudon sauce on the sly from Iris.
"But Grid, a real man has to challenge the impossible at least once."
This madman. Suicidal much?
If only House Arno got wrecked—but no, third parties would lock me up to keep me from being taken!
Couldn't drag this out. Time to pull out the original plan a bit early!
"I understand your love for your daughter, but do we need to take the hard road?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your goal isn't making me your exclusive chef—it's helping Leperi lose weight, right?"
"Isn't that the same thing? If I can't make you a chef, how will she budge?"
Try some wordplay, and he gets serious right away.
The smiling face gradually hardened, the corners of his mouth drooping.
Time to lift those corners back up.
"Count, I'm a merchant. My job is selling what customers want."
"Interesting. No merchant has solved this problem before."
"Was there an Eastern merchant among them?"
"No, but even renowned alchemists gave up. No matter how Eastern…."
"It's possible."
"!"
You haven't tried the right shop.
"I-Is that really true?"
The count's pupils dilated, his mouth gaping wide.
He'd probably been scammed his whole life. In a romance fantasy, there's no way something for weight loss exists.
And even if it did, the acquisition difficulty or rarity would be insane. No count's house could get it.
"My firm stocks a drug that can shed weight relatively quickly."
Me too—I'd call bullshit and it'd be fair to chop my head off.
But you tasted the sauce, Count.
A merchant who makes impossible flavors? Maybe? For real?
"Yes. It has minor side effects, but it'll help Leperi with her weight loss."
"What side effects? If they're severe, I'll have to push the original plan."
"Long-term use might cause loss of appetite, headaches, indigestion."
None, actually. Loss of appetite is a plus.
Per original lore, once you handle mana, you're free from minor ailments unless it's poison or a curse.
They added that after the flu episode led to a dead-end plot.
"No way! You mean that's really possible?"
The count reacted with perfect flair, making it fun to explain. This guy's great.
"Yes. I have a sample for sale right here."
I pulled the pen-shaped obesity treatment from the fridge and showed it.
His expression soured a bit.
"Odd-looking thing. An artifact you carry around?"
"No. It has a hidden needle at the end—you press it to the belly and inject."
"Inject drugs? Is it really safe?"
"Of course. Pair it with exercise, and you'll see results in no time."
Who said obesity is laziness? Appetite's hormonal.
In the 21st century, gyms tanked and plus-size stores cried after diet drugs went mainstream!
"Sorry, but I can't just use it on my daughter willy-nilly."
"I understand. Who'd inject their daughter with something of unknown origin?"
"So I'll have to drag you along…."
"Just prove it's safe, right?"
"You mean test it on someone else?"
Worth of a count—sharp mind. One-liner summary.
"Exactly. I don't care who buys it, so buy more for safety testing—no issue."
Hell, more sales? Why not.
"It's pricey and needs refrigeration, so it's been hard to move."
One last spice.
"If it fails or side effects are bad, then I'll be your house chef."
"That confident?"
"It's proven in the East. A merchant without faith in his wares isn't a merchant."
"You say the impossible so casually. Hey!"
At the count's call, the shop door opened, and the butler brought in a heavy-looking pouch.
-Clink!
A gold coin pouch on the desk.
"Advance payment. Should be plenty."
He snatched the treatment from my hand.
"If it works as you say, I'll pay extra handsomely."
He turned to leave, words done. Cool guy, but….
"Count!"
"What? Not enough advance?"
"Do you... know how to use it?"
"…."
In the carriage heading to the count's mansion, I cautiously addressed my master.
"Master. If I may be so bold, I can't fathom what about that man made you hand over such a fortune on the spot."
"Haha, I love your bold words. You're looking out for me meticulously, aren't you?"
"You didn't even let the young lady drag him to the mansion unchecked."
How many problems had arisen from clouded judgment over his daughter?
The previous count doted on his son terribly, but not this much.
"Your concern is valid. I'd say the same in your shoes."
"Then why…."
"Butler, did you taste the sauce from my daughter's meal?"
As if. How could one touch what the master left?
"Of course not. You're the butler of a noble house."
My master continued as if reading my thoughts.
"Even cold with the fat congealed, the moment I tasted it—it was an impossible flavor."
He closed his eyes, reminiscing.
"Nothing's too good for my daughter, but that time, I felt slighted that she didn't leave even a bite for her father."
"…That good?"
"Yes. Giving a stranger that much gold for a first-time item? That thrill played a part."
He swallowed once and continued.
"If this truly solves my daughter's issue, gold coins are nothing."
"…."
"So, butler. Pull the surveillance. You're a daughter fanatic too, not just me."
"Master!"
"I get your worry, but he's not the type to scheme against the house. Even if trouble brews, he can't flee the empire."
He fiddled with the drug box, then gave a hollow laugh.
"Once Iris takes notice, no one in the empire escapes that monster's eyes."