Chapter 37
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 37
Chapter Title: The One Who Laughs Last...(4)
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Several days had passed.
Even in a situation where enemies surrounded her on all sides, a trainee still had to do what a trainee was supposed to do.
The mid-dance evaluation had briefly put things on hold...
Basically, trainees had packed schedules every single day.
At least Purem Entertainment's trainees were all adults with no school commute, so their mornings were a bit more relaxed.
That's why personal errands were usually handled in the mornings.
For example, meeting Han Nam-do and Wang Im-hwan.
"Haa, fuck... Lately, it feels like I'm not even living anymore."
"What now."
Was I mentally and physically exhausted from all this?
Or had I gotten close enough to Han Nam-do to vent to him?
Or maybe it was just because he felt like a friend.
I didn't know which, but the moment I barged into Han Nam-do's place that morning, I started whining right away.
Han Nam-do made an exasperated face but still listened.
Pretending not to care while subtly looking after me.
"Every time I go in and out of the agency, those Isabella and Mercedes members keep staring me down like it's not enough—they always throw in some snide remark. And lately, Gu Min-cheol and Jeong Byeong-in have been suspiciously quiet... They're definitely plotting something, but I don't know what, so every day feels like walking on eggshells. It's driving me insane."
"Jeez, you're complaining over that? Wait till you actually start in the industry—you'll be crying every day."
His deadpan response, which was somehow even creepier, made me rub my face.
"...That bad?"
"They know they shouldn't show their ugly side publicly, but they can't hold back their tempers and end up causing scenes everywhere."
"... "
"Mental strain wears down your patience bit by bit. Then suddenly, hysterical outbursts become the default, and you can't control it anymore. Especially with celebrities who peaked and then crashed—they show it the most."
"Why? If they've barely clawed their way back from ruin, shouldn't they be on their best behavior?"
"People like that have trauma telling them 'this is what ruined me before,' so they get paranoid about the smallest things. And usually, the people they work with poke at those exact things."
"Ugh, I think I get it..."
I knew because I'd been through it myself.
We'd cleared plenty of towers without issues.
But once life-or-death crises piled up, even when no one was at fault, I'd get overly sensitive and want to blame others.
'Fuck... It's because you wore red socks today! I told you not to wear red socks into the tower with me! Why'd you do it!'
...I'd seen parties fight over crap like that.
"The entertainment industry is especially like that. Even if your house is on fire, you have to smile like nothing's wrong in front of others. It looks like the brightest job to the public, but it's dirtier and uglier than any other."
"... "
"That's why people who were pure white before entering get pitch black in no time."
"... "
"You can't trust anyone in this industry. Not even the innocent-looking child actors smiling away—who knows what they're thinking behind the scenes. Child actor grads are even scarier. They grew up treating their parents' words like law or something. They don't listen, fuck."
"... "
Just listening to Han Nam-do beside me...
I was already sick of this industry.
"Top stars have to pretend to be nice and clean on the surface. But that's a burden too—one slip-up and their image is toast."
"... "
"What about the ones who aren't making it? They'll lick shoes just for a shot. Ugh, fuck, talking about it is pissing me off."
Tsking, Han Nam-do looked at me and said,
"Exactly. Why not just do personal streams comfortably, or use your top talent and film some porn? Why crawl into a shithole like this when you could've gone to a relatively clean place like Sun Entertainment?"
"Nah, I didn't want that. Fuck!"
I'd heard that line so many times I lost count.
In this day and age, why bother being an idol?
It was a red ocean of red oceans already.
Insane competition rates, and success odds dropping even lower.
Personal streams meant less stress and doing whatever you want.
"I tried streaming a bit... Doesn't suit my personality at all. I'd lose my mind."
"Really? I've always had team members around. Can't you just react to chat when it pops up?"
"No matter how much chat floods in, you're still talking to a wall alone. Doesn't fit me. I'd go crazy. I'd rather a goblin smash my head than that—I prefer facing people directly."
"What about porn?"
"Fuck, I couldn't proudly say 'Hi, I'm a porn actress. Nice to meet you' anywhere!"
"... "
It wasn't about insulting porn actors or thinking it was tacky.
Quite the opposite—I was grateful to them.
How much had I benefited from them?
Nine out of ten loads I'd shot were thanks to them.
But humanly, common sense-wise, objectively...
It wasn't a job you could laugh and proudly declare on a date.
No matter how modern the world is!
'And above all, I joined Purem because of Kang Chae-rin!'
If Chae-rin hadn't already signed with Purem, I might've ended up contacting Sun Entertainment's Go Hyeong-tae after agonizing over it.
"Haa, I'm whining like this... but no regrets."
"Yeah?"
"It has its own thrill, you know? Every day feels like climbing a tower. A really dangerous one."
"True, the bigger the risk, the bigger the dopamine hit from the reward."
"Admit..."
I nodded and grinned.
"Ah, feeling better now."
"Good if it helped."
Times like this made life seem simple.
Vent to someone, gossip a bit, whine, and the stress melts away.
Bottling it up just made you sick.
Even more so.
"Ah, right. Nam-do."
"Yeah."
"You know some foreign languages, right?"
"Ah... You're taking evening classes for that lately? Chinese, Japanese, English... fuck."
Who decided to cram three languages into one day?
How the hell was that possible?
"...Don't most people learn basics in middle or high school these days? Japanese hiragana at least, Chinese tones, English from elementary..."
"Embarrassing to admit, but my high school English average was 23 points."
"... "
"Second-year Japanese, which was memorization, was 17. Third year, they let me skip Chinese prep for college entrance, so 4 points."
Shocked by my confession, Han Nam-do narrowed his eyes and showed me an English word.
[Make]
"Hey, read this. You know what it means, right?"
I was dumbfounded.
Did this guy really think I was an idiot?
"Make, make. To make."
"...!!"
That moment, I'd never forget the look on Han Nam-do's face.
It was like hearing the Earth is flat.
"I... I see. So this industry lets in thick-headed bitches like you. Whew, thank goodness it exists. And you're lucky you were born a girl. Fuck, if you'd been a guy, no one would've treated you as normal."
"What the hell."
"Fucking hiragana and tones... insane. What did your teachers ever do to deserve you?"
"Hey! So you're good at it?"
"I was..."
Not anymore, that meant.
"Smoking daily, living like a bum fucking and drinking... Years of that. Of course the studying stuck around."
"Be glad your brain didn't rot. Somehow it didn't melt."
No wonder my foreign language skills didn't improve even after fucking this guy.
'Haa, should I fuck the language teachers?'
I had no talent for studying.
Absolutely none.
If I had, would I have graduated high school and jumped straight into towers as an F-rank porter risking my life?
Idols were the same.
What did they even need Chinese, Japanese, English for?
Just hire interpreters, fuck.
Or pricey translation artifacts existed too. Artifacts were just stupid expensive.
"That's the problem."
"... "
"They say no debut without decent foreign languages. Fail the basic cutoff, forget the rest."
Already dying here, and nothing was easy.
Really.
"I wanna help, and it's not like I can't. But figure it out yourself."
"Who asked? I wasn't planning to make you teach languages too. Just do your job properly. Quit slacking off from now on."
Venting with small talk was over.
Now, time to fix why I visited Han Nam-do before Wang Im-hwan.
'Meeting Wang Im-hwan always leaves me feeling like I took a shit and left it half-done.'
So, I needed to fully relieve my frustrations during time with Han Nam-do.
"You're gonna pound me full today too, right?"
I lay on the floor, lifting my hips.
Spreading my pussy myself, I tempted him.
"Fuck, you succubus bitch..."
Swearing like always, Han Nam-do roughly shoved his cock into my pussy.
"Haaak, haaak... Goood, so gooood. Hngh, even in this shitty situation, I haven't lost it yet, haang, and can barely hold on daily because, haang, you relieve my stress with sex like this in between. Haaaang!"
I meant it.
Without these sex breaks to vent stress, I'd have snapped long ago.
How could anyone not in this mess?
"Hnnngh, fill me up... haang! Knead my tits to a mess, haak! Ah, aaaah..."
After enjoying sex with Han Nam-do as usual today.
I smoked a cigarette on the rooftop and left his place.
"See you at the company later."
"Yeah."
Now it was time to go meet Wang Im-hwan.