Chapter 2
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: Drinking Kimchi Soup Before Even Thinking About Who'll Give Me Cake
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"After climbing to the third floor, we'll camp there and then head back down to the first floor."
"Yes, got it!"
I'd seen parties change their attitudes 180 degrees the moment they entered a tower once or twice before.
So I responded with full alertness, tense as could be.
"Haha, no need to be so stiff. Considering all our members are 5th Grade, the third floor of [Goblin Tower] is a breeze for us."
"Ah... I was just worried I'd be a burden. I'll do my best."
"Aww, Hyun-ah, you've got such a kind heart. I've never met a girl like you before. Hahaha!"
"No, not at all."
The mood stayed upbeat even after entering the tower.
Jo Seo-hong, the self-proclaimed team leader, introduced the other members.
"This is Jang Dae-gun."
5th Grade Mage.
"This is Eun Jun-hwan."
5th Grade Priest.
And finally, Jo Seo-hong himself, the 5th Grade Knight.
A well-balanced party.
It was a solid lineup with no weak links.
The odds of something going wrong should be low.
But no one knew what could happen inside a tower, so you always had to stay on edge.
Come to think of it, even when I was cursed by that Black Magician, the party's overall strength had been pretty comfortable.
But overwhelming power.
A disaster like a natural calamity couldn't be overcome with just "comfortable."
Above all, once you enter a tower, all communication with the outside world gets completely cut off.
That's what towers were like.
Suddenly descending into the modern world along with "mana"—call it new content?
No, I think the system called them disasters.
Humans turned them into resource and energy production zones out of endless greed and avarice.
Even the gods probably didn't see that coming.
Looking at stuff like this, humans really are the scariest things around.
In fact, the biggest stress from working as a porter came from employers endlessly taking their frustrations out on me.
Treating porters like trash, those fucking bastards.
Threatening to kill me if I messed up.
What a bunch of clowns.
They wouldn't actually kill me anyway. I'd dealt with those kinds of threats once or twice before.
And for good reason.
Anyone who dies inside a tower gets their record engraved at the entrance.
For example, my old party member killed by the Black Magician in [Homunculus Tower].
[Guk Tae-woon - Deceased, Black Magician]
Something like that.
It shows exactly who killed them.
So even in a space completely cut off from the outside, you couldn't just kill someone willy-nilly.
No matter how hunter-obsessed the world had gone, hunters were still human.
They couldn't completely ignore human rights or public opinion.
In a way, I could tag along as a lone porter with this body because I trusted that fact.
Still, the isolation from the outside world brought its own tension and fear, no helping it.
Worst case, some psycho might commit a crime without thinking of the consequences.
Random murder, that sort of thing.
That's why porters usually just go along with whatever the employer wants.
Earning someone else's money was always this damn tough.
Fucking hell.
"Hyun-ah."
"Yes!"
"Is Hyun-ah your real name, by any chance?"
"Pardon? Ah! Y-yes, it is..."
My heart skipped a beat.
What the hell with these guys?
Did they already figure out I used to be a guy?
A bead of cold sweat trickled down my forehead.
I didn't even try acting like a girl, so maybe that's why...
Damn it, should I have spoken more femininely?
But what does "femininely" even sound like?
While I was lost in my own serious panic, Jo Seo-hong scratched the back of his head apologetically and shouted.
"Ahh, I didn't mean anything weird by it. It's just your looks don't scream Korean to me. Ah, in a good way, of course. You're way too pretty, seriously. Man, the moment I saw you at the agency today, it was love at first sight..."
"Ah, h-ha, it's because I'm mixed."
"Ah, mixed-race. Got it. Yeah, Korea's got a lot more mixed folks these days. Suddenly tons of foreigners pouring in. Wow, your parents must be stunners too, huh?"
"Ah, my mom is kinda..."
Sorry to my pure-blooded Korean mom from the southern tip of Jeollanam-do, but I temporarily switched her nationality to Scottish.
Good thing they hadn't noticed I was a guy, at least.
"Hey, Hyun-ah, got a type when it comes to guys?"
"Guys..."
A sigh rose to my throat, but I desperately swallowed it.
They weren't outright insulting me like when I was a guy, but somehow this felt even more fucked up.
Me, of all people, talking about my taste in men?
Fuck, I could play word chain with names of my favorite porn actresses and still have plenty left.
"...Well, um."
I couldn't get the words out easily.
Before I knew it, all three party members were staring me down intently.
They're gonna burn holes in me, you assholes.
"...Someone kind, maybe? Haha."
I desperately threw out an answer that wouldn't start a fight.
Ah, is this why girls always default to "nice guys"?
"Haha, that's gotta be me then."
"What? No, me."
"Nah, me."
What a bunch of idiots.
"......"
My head's getting hot, fuck.
"Any favorite foods?"
"...Spicy pork stir-fry."
"Ooh, hobbies?"
"...Computer games."
Plus downing a drink and desperately begging at a strip club to cop a feel in some girl's cleavage, you fuckers.
"Ooh, we match perfectly then."
"Me too."
"Spicy pork stir-fry is man's soul food, soul food!"
What do you want me to do about it?
The mood was cheerful, and they weren't insulting me or taking frustrations out on me.
But in a different way, my stomach was churning.
Just come out already, some monster. Ugh.
As if hearing my inner plea?
Rustle!
"Combat ready!"
Eight goblins ambushed us.
"Dae-gun, you make sure to protect Hyun-ah properly!"
"Got it!"
"Ah, no, I can handle..."
Fuck it, whatever.
In four years as a porter, this was the first time they'd prioritized me over themselves during a monster ambush. What the hell?
"Not a finger on our precious lady."
Our precious la... what?
Be grateful I don't have a gun right now, you fucking perverts.
If I'd had a pistol in my hand, I might not have been able to hold back from pulling the trigger.
"Hyun-ah, stick right behind me. I'll protect you for sure."
"Ah, yes... thank you."
Not that I need it.
I can dodge just fine on my own.
Why not help your own party members?
"Hup! This is so easy it's making me yawn!"
Why's he been hamming it up like that since earlier?
"Ha, easy peasy. Don't even need heals for this."
Exactly.
Wait, are they doing this to impress me?
What good does showing off to me...
"......"
Suddenly, chills ran down my spine.
Meaning...
These guys might actually have feelings for me...
"......"
And the scarier part?
My brain found it repulsive, but my body wasn't rejecting it—in fact, it was subtly thrilled.
...I'm losing my mind here.
"Okay, cleaned 'em up in five minutes flat."
"Piece of cake."
"Easy peasy."
Watching the three guys hype up something so routine, I just chewed my lip.
"...Then I'll collect the magic stones."
"Hold up, we'll get 'em. Hyun-ah, just watch from there."
"No, that's the porter's job..."
"Psh, what are you saying? This is man's work. What kind of trash makes a girl do this? Just carry your bag on the way down."
"......"
Then why the hell did you hire me, you lunatics?
Money to burn or what?
"......"
The situation was utterly baffling.
Just because my gender(?) changed, their treatment of me flipped completely?
Seeing this, being a woman really does have its perks.
It wasn't like posting in those Kakaotalk open chats: "Me, 128kg woman, bored," and getting 999 replies.
I'd been a guy until recently, but yeah.
Men really were beasts ruled by their dicks.
Still, not having to lift a finger is pretty nice.
Before long, the Reverse Burst guys had gathered all the magic stones, stuffed them in their bags, and hoisted them up with gusto.
"Ah, I feel bad just standing here doing nothing..."
"Aww, don't feel bad. That'd make us feel worse. And didn't I tell you at the agency? You're here as a vibe booster for our dull party."
"......"
"If you saw how we usually clear towers, you wouldn't say that. Me and these idiots sometimes don't exchange a single word from entry to exit. But look now—with you here, it's chaos. They're all hyped up... hahaha!"
Hyped? You're the most excited one, asshole.
"Ah, ahaha... Th-thank you."
In the end, all I could do was bow my head in thanks.
But...
"...Ahem. That's more than enough."
His voice sounded genuinely satisfied with that.
What, did he get off on seeing me bow?
Ah, my chest...
And then.
"Come to think of it, if it's not too rude... Hyun-ah, when was your last boyfriend? Or are you seeing someone now?"
"...I've never dated anyone."
"What? That can't be..."
"Well, I went to all-girls middle school, high school, college, so somehow..."
"No way! Insane!"
When I bullshitted my way into admitting I'd never dated, the three guys looked happier than I'd ever seen.
What a bunch of morons, seriously.
This was the perfect scenario for that proverb: drinking kimchi soup before even thinking about who'll give you cake. Idiots.
"We'll escort you properly today! Comfortably!"
"...Ah, yes... thank you."
Guess in their heads, I'd already fucked them a few times.
They looked thrilled.
In the end, by the time we reached the third floor of [Goblin Tower], all I'd done was chime in on the endless stream of guys hitting on me.
Living as a woman might not be so bad?
A bit annoying, sure.
But way better than the days of getting verbally abused and indirectly threatened as a "half-orc."
"Shall we eat then? Normally we'd just do quick three-minute heat-up meals here, but for Hyun-ah today, we'll break out our special portable cookset and prime Hanwoo beef."
"Really? Thank you."
Had I already adapted to woman life? Ohohoho.
"Here, dig in."
"Thank you. You're all so kind. I'll eat well."
"No biggie."
I didn't hold back on the meat Jo Seo-hong kept piling on and chowed down happily.
"Uh... why am I so sleepy...?"
Before long, I couldn't fight the overwhelming drowsiness and lost consciousness.
"...Hit her with the strongest stuff..."
"...At least four hours 'til she..."
"...Hurry up and enjoy..."
...What was that...?