Life is Easier When You’re Beautiful
The world is unfair.
Some people are born with handsome faces and golden spoons and live prosperous lives, while others are born with ugly faces and dirt spoons and live miserable lives.
Of course, it’s not that if you have an ugly appearance and a dirt spoon, you’re forced to live a miserable life.
However, there is no one who denies that the probability is extremely high.
And I was a person who fell into that probability.
“Hey, there goes your boyfriend.”
“Ugh. Don’t be ridiculous. That was way too much.”
The words of two high school girls drifted by.
'Back then, ten years ago, I might have gotten angry.'
Now that I’d heard those words so many times, they didn’t even make me angry. I just felt sorry for my own miserable situation.
Ten years ago, when I had just become an adult, I had gotten angry at those words.
'Then why don’t you fix yourself up a little? No, even if you do, it’ll still be the same. It won’t mean anything.'
After hearing that, I swung at her and had to pay a huge settlement fee.
Having my money taken wasn’t a big deal. The problem was that the words I had heard were not a lie but the truth.
Just like the high school girl from ten years ago had said, I was ugly.
Not just ugly, but so ugly that it made people feel revulsion just by looking at me.
Acne covered my face, my height was 158 cm, and my weight was only 31 kg—I was a complete loser.
When I looked in the mirror, a zombie was standing there.
Of course, because of this appearance, I was bullied throughout my school days.
When your looks are bad, you should have some event that builds your confidence, but in my life, nothing but events that chipped away at my confidence happened, and as a result, I’m exhausted at age 30 now.
Why was I born?
I wish I hadn’t been born at all.
'Still, I have to live on.'
Because even someone like me has a mother who loves me.
“12,500 won.”
“Hey. Why do you look like that?”
Another one. Working at a convenience store in the early morning hours, these situations happened frequently.
The familiar scene of a drunk customer entering the store and starting an argument was routine.
The problem was that even while drunk, these customers always attacked my appearance.
Well, it was fine.
Since I was used to it now.
“Then why do you look like that?”
“What? What did you just say?”
“Ah, I’m sorry for looking like this.”
“Tsk. Really?”
“Yes.”
“Then hurry up and calculate.”
“It’s done.”
“Good. I’m leaving.”
“Have a safe trip.”
I could tolerate it if a handsome or pretty person pointed out my appearance, but when balding or pot-bellied uncles pointed out my appearance, sometimes I couldn’t hold back.
'Hoo. I have to be careful.'
'Last time I got fired for arguing with a customer.'
'Ah.'
Why was my head not good?
If my looks were ugly, shouldn’t my head at least be good?
'I studied hard, though.'
I studied hard even while being bullied.
But the result was a maximum of a 4th grade.
4th grade. It wasn’t a low grade by any means.
But I couldn’t say it was a high grade either.
'To get into a Seoul university, I should have at least gotten a 3rd grade.'
If it was a university in Seoul, sure, but a local university was out of the question.
Honestly, it would have been much better to earn money right away than to go to a local university.
Of course, if someone had a clear dream, they could still pursue it even at a local university, but unfortunately I had no dreams.
Endless days had made me like this.
'It’s over. What’s the point of thinking about the past now?'
Since it was already a past event anyway.
“Here.”
I handed over the next part to the person in charge and left the convenience store.
'Should I go see Mom?'
I boarded the bus.
The destination was the hospital.
#1
“Son, you’re here?”
“Yes.”
“Was there no trouble at work?”
“Yes. There was none.”
“That’s good.”
A smile appeared at the corner of my mother’s mouth when I answered.
Looking at that smile, I thought.
Beautiful.
'Why did I inherit my father’s blood?'
Our mother is a beautiful person.
She’s the kind of beauty that can compare to celebrities.
But my father was different. My father was also ugly like me.
Only, the ugliness wasn’t severe, and it was the kind of ugliness that was endearing.
Because of that, I was able to marry such a pretty mother.
“From now on, even if Mom isn’t here, make sure to eat properly.”
“Mom!”
“Yes. Yes. I know I can’t go first while leaving you. I’m just saying it just in case.”
“Don’t say that. You’ll definitely get better.”
“Okay.”
My mother gave me a powerless smile in response to my words.
In fact, both my mother and I knew.
My mother’s life didn’t have much time left.
It was cancer.
The devil who came to find my mother.
Cancer is a disease that even in 2036 still cannot be conquered.
'Will there be a day when cancer is conquered?'
It might come someday, but I didn’t think it would be in the near future.
Still, I won’t give up.
There is a word called miracle in this world, and although I’ve lived until now without finding even one miracle, at least before I die, shouldn’t I find it once?
Yes, it will definitely happen.
#2
“Dad. I’m here. It’s been a while.”
I came to my father’s grave.
My father was a special police officer.
Special police are deployed to the scene to handle terrorism, hostage situations, and gunshots that ordinary police cannot solve.
Of course, since they are not deployed in ordinary situations, they are always dangerous.
Still, I thought it would be okay because Korean people don’t see guns often, but it wasn’t.
My father was stabbed to death while chasing a fleeing criminal.
'Hoo.'
The criminal who killed my father received a sentence of ten years in prison.
After protesting that it wasn’t enough, it was changed from eight years to ten years.
'Damn South Korea.'
Why does this country protect criminals and reject victims?
It was really puzzling.
“Ah, sorry. I was just thinking gloomy thoughts since I came here. Um, then I’ll tell you about the recent events.”
I talked about the relatively good events among the recent ones in front of my father’s grave.
How much time had passed? When I had said everything I needed to say, I got up from my seat.
“Then I’ll go for now. Next time I come, it will probably be next year.”
Every time I came, my father’s face came to mind, and tears flowed.
That’s why I only visit once a year. Once a year crying is enough.
Ring ring.
[Korean Hospital]
'What? Why is there a call from the hospital all of a sudden? I paid all the hospital bills for this month.'
While feeling suspicious, my hand moved steadily and I answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Are you the guardian of Ju Seo-hee?”
“Yes. I am the guardian.”
“You need to come quickly! Ju Seo-hee has fallen...”
The rest of the words were not heard.
Because my brain went blank for a moment.
I started running.
Hoping I wasn’t too late.
“Please take me to Korean Hospital!”
I arrived at the hospital in a taxi.
Fortunately, I hadn’t been too late.
“Ju Seo-hee guardian?”
“Yes!”
“We have to go into surgery right now. Please write this consent form.”
I quickly wrote the consent form, handed it to the nurse, and shouted.
“Can I see Mom?!”
“She’s unconscious. Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
I followed the nurse and was able to see my mother just before entering the operating room.
My mother had her eyes closed. With a peaceful expression.
'Ah.'
Looking at that, an uneasy feeling arose. It seemed like my mother was really going to leave me.
And bad premonitions don’t miss.
Twelve hours later.
The doctor who came out of the operating room told me.
“On May 5, 2036, at 12:22, Ju Seo-hee passed away. I’m truly sorry.”
I collapsed.
'Ah.'
#3
“Mom! Buy me a toy!”
“Isn’t it too expensive?”
“Yes!”
I climbed to the rooftop and looked down at the street.
People were living happy lives.
Coincidentally, it was May 5th, so there were many families on the street.
Many children were laughing happily.
Everyone was laughing, and I wasn’t laughing.
'Ah.'
What was the reason I had lived until now?
Was it because of Mom?
But now that Mom has disappeared from the world, is there a reason for me to live...?
'No.'
I looked at the road under the building. Cars were moving around.
'Ah. It was such a boring life.'
If reincarnation exists as people say, I want to be reborn as a child of my parents once again.
With a handsome face.
Or isn’t that too difficult?
'If I hadn’t been handsome, I wish I had at least been pretty.'
Well, that won’t happen. Because with this death, my life will end.
I slowly let my body go into the air, and after a moment,
Crack.
I died, crushed like a head of cabbage.
#4
'Where am I?'
It was dark. But it wasn’t perfect darkness, and a faint light was seeping from above.
It felt warm here.
I wanted to stay here forever.
“H-help...!”
“What? What did you say?”
“Hold on a little longer!”
“Ugh.”
When I heard someone’s voice near my ear, I saw the light.