I Want to Be a Bandit!
I wanted to become a bandit! Keeping a safe distance so as not to bump into the guide, I followed behind while scanning my surroundings. Ignoring the curious stares from the bandits as I walked, I peered over their shoulders. Where was the weakest point in this bandit stronghold? I searched for an escape route in case I needed to flee, but nothing promising caught my eye. Guards were posted everywhere, and patrols moved constantly. The mountain fortress wasn't even that large—about the size of a soccer field—making it hard to find any blind spots. Even if I managed to escape, there was another problem. Could I really navigate these monster-infested mountains alone without any real combat ability? The odds were abysmal.
“Haa.” I let out a sigh, rubbing my face in frustration at the hopeless situation. If the gods were going to send me to another world, they could have at least given me a legendary weapon, max level, or superior stats. Instead, they dumped me here in this utterly ordinary state. I cursed whatever divine being was responsible. Even as my stomach churned with anxiety, my feet carried me toward the King of Hell himself. What kind of man was this leader? A fierce-looking brute with a tiger-like face and a wild beard? The type who’d shout “Kill that bastard!” at the slightest offense?
As the leader’s dwelling on the central hill came into view, my tension spiked. The moment I set foot on the steep slope, voices drifted to my ears.
—It’s about that outsider. An alchemist named Gorba showed interest and offered us two one-kilogram gold bars.
A middle-aged man’s deep voice. Who was that? I glanced around for the speaker, but aside from the guide ahead, there was no one. Yesterday’s events flashed through my mind.
‘Ah, maybe it’s that?’ The golden orb that had warned me of danger before the bandits captured me. ‘Can I eavesdrop on conversations even when I’m far from it?’
Amid my confusion, the voices continued. I stopped walking without thinking and strained to listen, unwilling to miss a word.
—Is he the only one interested in the outsider?
This time it was a woman’s voice—calm, dignified, and commanding.
—Yes, for now, only Gorba. He wants to buy the outsider and mix him with elves, dwarves, and fairies to create a unique chimera.
—Hmph. Disgusting hobby.
—What should we do? Shall we sell him?
—Keeping prisoners too long causes food shortages and wastes manpower on guarding them. We plan to sell all the other captives at tomorrow’s slave market. It would be best to sell the outsider quickly once a buyer appears. If he falls ill…
“Hey!”
A sudden shout right in front of me cut off the voices. The guide had already walked far ahead and was now glaring back, clearly annoyed.
“What are you doing standing there like an idiot? Get over here now!”
“Ah. Y-yes, sorry……”
I hurried up the hill after him.
“I saw you thinking about running away! I’ll cut your throat right now!”
I ignored his menacing warning and stuck close behind him, head bowed low. I wrapped my arms around myself as if cold and rubbed my forearms anxiously. The horrific conversation made me shudder.
‘He wants to turn me into a chimera?’ Mixing me with elves, dwarves, and fairies like some twisted recipe? What kind of dish was that? Goosebumps rose across my skin and my heart pounded. If that “outsider” really referred to me, I was headed for a miserable fate. This was bad.
Before long, we entered the leader’s tent. The air inside felt different—heavy and stifling. My nerves tightened further. The guide stayed outside and closed the entrance flap behind me. Two figures waited in the dim interior. On the left stood a tall middle-aged man with slicked-back white hair, exuding the refined air of a gentleman. Seated on a chair draped in brown bearskin at the far end was a young woman with her legs crossed, watching me with evident interest.
‘That woman is the leader?’ I had imagined a macho man, so the surprise of a female bandit chief caught me off guard. She was strikingly beautiful, with not a single blemish on her face. She wore glossy leather pants and a leopard-print jacket that gave her a model-like elegance, yet her broad, powerful shoulders and long black hair cascading down them radiated an overwhelming presence, like a lion’s mane. The word “charismatic” might as well have been coined for her. She was a true heroine—a female hero.
“Step closer so the leader can see you properly.”
The voice snapped me back to attention. It was the middle-aged man’s, identical to the one I had overheard moments ago.
‘So that really was their conversation. Then the outsider must be me.’
Sweat beaded in my tightly clenched fists. Moving as carefully and slowly as possible, I approached the woman, terrified that even the slightest motion might trigger disaster. As I drew near, her gaze traveled slowly from my feet upward, examining every inch of my naked body like an art piece. A faint smile eventually curved her lips.
“Turn around.”
“…Yes.”
Following the man’s command, I turned, offering my back and rear fully to the female leader’s eyes. I wondered what thoughts ran through her mind as she studied me. My skin itched under her scrutiny. An absurd hope flickered: if I looked like a decent product, maybe she wouldn’t sell me to that mad alchemist.
“Face forward.”
At the next command, I turned again and met her eyes. Her expression remained unreadable, lips firmly closed, yet her interest was unmistakable. Her gaze had changed—now sparkling with a hint of curiosity.
“What is your name?”
The man’s refined voice came from the left again. I suppressed my nerves and answered as calmly as I could.
“Kang Hyun-woo.”
“Gan-hyeon-nu? Is that how names are given in your country?”
“Yes. We usually use one or three characters, similar to my name.”
“Do your people look like you?”
“They do.”
“What do you call your race? Like elves or dwarves.”
“Humans. We’re humans, just like you.”
“You claim to be human?”
“Yes. We’re the same.”
“Don’t lie.”
His sharp tone made me hesitate before replying.
“…I’m of the yellow race, I suppose.”
“Hmm, the Hwa-in race.”
It was “Hwang-in,” not “Hwa-in,” but I saw no point in correcting him.
“Are there other Hwa-in besides you in this land?”
“As far as I know, I’m the only one.”
The man continued his interview-like questioning. I appreciated the attention, but what did he intend to do with the information? Was he building a slave profile to sell me to nobles at a higher price?
“How did you come to this land?”
I didn’t know the answer myself and couldn’t explain it properly, so I gave a vague reply.
“I don’t know the details. But I suspect… I was probably kidnapped. When I came to, I was in the forest, and that’s where you captured me.”
“Understood.”
The man’s questions ended there.
“That’s enough. You may leave.”
“Excuse me? Is that all?”
“It is. Do you have more to say?”
He asked indifferently. Staring at his blank face in dismay, I pictured myself being sold to the mad alchemist. No, please. Ask me more. Show more interest. I can’t leave until you decide you want me.
Suddenly, I remembered Freyr tempting me. He had said it was better to become a bandit than live as a slave forever. Rather than becoming raw material for some grotesque experiment, I would rather be a bandit.
“I-I want to become a bandit!”
***
They say people display superhuman strength in desperate moments. I had apparently channeled mine into my mouth. Realizing this might be my last chance, the absurd words burst out before I could stop them.
“Ever since I was young, my dream has been to become a bandit!”
Yes. First, I had to survive. I needed to get out of this prison before I could even think about escaping. Only with freedom could I watch for an opportunity to run. So for now, I would kneel and buy myself time.
“You want to become a bandit?”
“Yes!”
I played my trump card, eyes shining brightly as I stared at the man’s lips.
“We cannot accept you.”
He shook his head firmly.
“What we need right now is money. We already have enough people.”
Once the tape was cut, I refused to back down.
“I’m good at cooking too! I can make anything delicious! You’ve never tried Korean food, have you? One bite and you’ll be slapping your knee saying it’s incredible! I also have great stamina and work hard! Just give me any task and I’ll complete it!”
The man listened quietly to my frantic rambling before dropping a single question.
“Then, do you have talent with a blade?”
My expression froze at the unexpected question.
“A-a blade?”
On Earth, I had only ever held a pen. There was no way I had talent with a sword. But I had already played my trump card. I had to push forward.
“Of course! Back home, I was famous for being the best with a blade! Since becoming a bandit was my dream, how could I not be skilled? I always carried a knife around like a spoon!”
If they made me demonstrate against someone, I was finished. Suddenly, metal clattered against the ground. The man had drawn the sword from his waist and thrown it down.
“Huuuh…!”
Staring at it blankly, I looked up and met his eyes. He spoke.
“Pick up that sword and show me a demonstration right here. If your skill impresses me more than two gold bars are worth, I’ll consider accepting you.”