Chapter 320
Chapter 320
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 320
Chapter Title: 72. Special Grade Planet (2)
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Darling.
Its effect was tremendous.
"You're not going too far?"
―Don't talk nonsense. No way in hell.
It was because, for the first time, Jeong-gu and Ji-seon had aligned their thoughts.
Seeing this, Young-woo nodded as if he understood perfectly.
"It's nice to see the two of you united for the first time. But...!"
Shing!
Finally, Young-woo drew the Bastard Sword from his waist and pointed it at his parents' necks.
"It's been over 30 years since the two of you made this son, and you still haven't sorted out how to address each other? Does that make any sense?"
Jeong-gu then pleaded with Young-woo as if begging for his life.
"No, Young-woo. We've only actually known each other for less than two days."
This was true.
One day in the Bulkwang-dong Renaissance, and one day in the reset world.
Even combining the time from two worlds, Jeong-gu and Ji-seon had spent less than two days together.
They were practically strangers.
―Cut it out! You think people just stick together because you force them to?
Ji-seon followed up, voicing her opposition in anger, and Young-woo twisted the sword threateningly, firing off a sharp line.
"Then what about that day? You're people who already hooked up once that day—why can't you do it again? And thanks to that, you even have a son now!"
"...What?"
―W-what the hell is this bastard saying...?
The Bastard Sword's dizzying tightrope walk.
In any case, as the parents of this mad son, they couldn't help but feel a chill every time he crossed the line.
"Isn't marriage basically about living together for the kids, even if you can't stand each other? So, at least pretend to be a show-window couple for my sake!"
―You crazy bastard, is that the same thing?
"What's so different? And you might have to get married today—who knows? How long are you going to keep hurling insults at each other?"
―You...!
Ji-seon started to spew more curses but shut her mouth.
At least half of what her son had just said made sense.
Of course, strictly speaking, only Ji-seon was the one hurling insults at her spouse, but overall, it rang true.
"I don't expect you two to suddenly become the couple of the century. But at least make an effort—do you think being parents is easy?"
Then Young-woo pointed accusingly at his father.
Pop!
"You first, Dad."
"W-what?"
"Call my mom 'darling.'"
Jeong-gu's eyes filled with genuine terror.
"I c-can't... No, I can't do that. She'd really kill me."
His son was scary, but Ji-seon terrified him even more.
"Why not? You can do it. In fact, you have to now. Mom won't kill you, Dad. Right, Mom?"
―......
Click.
Young-woo then stood beside Jeong-gu and subtly pointed at Ji-seon.
"Come on, try it. In my opinion, changing how you talk to each other is the first step."
Whether they liked it or not, starting to call each other 'darling' instead of 'Miss Ji-seon' or 'you idiot bastard' would advance their relationship—that was Young-woo's thinking.
After all, to complete the final task of the 'Root Revival' achievement, 'Receive a blessing of existence from complete parents,' he needed to turn them into proper parents.
"Fuck, just do it already."
As Young-woo glared with flashing eyes and pressed the Bastard Sword to his father's neck, Jeong-gu looked at Ji-seon with a terrified expression.
Was this really okay?
Daring to call a woman he had only glimpsed decades ago—practically a stranger...
"Dar..."
Finally, the first syllable of that title emerged from Jeong-gu's mouth, and a blue flash streaked across the clear sky.
The planet examiners were watching this scene too.
Ye-chan and Bangtu Bangtong, holding their breath as they observed from nearby, cheered Jeong-gu on in their minds.
'Mr. Young-woo's dad, you got this!'
-Show some courage, human!
And in the end.
"Da... darling."
For the first time in his life, Jeong-gu declared himself the spouse of the Iron-Blooded Empress Song Ji-seon.
A woman he had never even promised a future with, let alone married—someone who still felt like a stranger.
"Okay, now then."
As Young-woo turned to his mother with momentum, he saw her swinging a massive greatsword at him.
Shwooooosh!
"......!"
―We haven't even gotten married yet—why the hell am I your darling, you son of a bitch! This is all illegal!
Even in this chaos, ranting about it being illegal clearly showed Song Ji-seon was in full panic.
"What's illegal about it? The universe will notarize it soon enough!"
Clang!
As Young-woo blocked Ji-seon's attack with the universe at his back, she grew even angrier.
Because beyond her blocked blade, she could see her future incompetent husband.
―I should have killed that bastard long ago.
As Ji-seon glared at Jeong-gu, who stood frozen beside their son, Young-woo hurriedly summoned his assigned tax auditor.
"Kubu! Kubu!"
Then, the air near Young-woo and Ji-seon split open, and Kubu opened its massive eye.
Swoosh.
―What the hell is this?
Even the furious Ji-seon calmed quickly at the bizarre sight.
Of course, Kubu was equally startled by the menacing work environment before it, blinking rapidly before addressing Young-woo first.
―It's an honor to meet Metal Seoul Mayor Jeong Young-woo07 again!
Then it blinked at Ji-seon and reported.
―Greetings to Jeong Young-woo07's birth mother, Ice Dragon Song Ji-seon!
―Huh...?
Naturally, this was the first cosmic greeting Ji-seon had ever received.
―What the hell is all this?
Ji-seon naturally asked her son.
At least on matters like this, he was the expert.
"What else? It's a greeting. In the universe, they attach modifiers like achievements or titles when greeting."
―Achievements? That's my status?
Ji-seon looked at Kubu again.
She was recalling what it had said.
Birth mother of Jeong Young-woo07, and Ice Dragon Song Ji-seon.
She finally realized this was how the universe evaluated her current state.
―So it's like a business card from the universe?
"Exactly. The difference is that it's not self-reported—it's the universe's evaluation..."
As Young-woo started to explain, Song Ji-seon's body glowed blue.
Flash!
―No, you're saying my business card is just 'that bastard's mom' and 'some monster'?
"...That's how it is in the universe. Your history as a young conglomerate chair doesn't hold value here."
Young-woo had more to say but held back.
'Birth mother, huh.'
Words used in the universe were never chosen lightly.
The 'birth mother' Kubu used meant exactly that—birth mother.
As Young-woo felt every moment, Song Ji-seon was still not Jeong Young-woo07's mother.
Until now, she was merely the one who gave birth—nothing more.
The universe knew this well, hence designating her official modifier as Jeong Young-woo07's 'birth mother.'
―Wait, come to think of it, this thing... didn't say it was an honor to meet me.
Song Ji-seon was quick on the uptake, as expected.
"Of course not—it's not actually honorable. In terms of cosmic law ranks, Kubu outranks you."
After laying out his mother's cosmic reality, Young-woo carefully pushed her sword aside.
Swoosh.
"The revenge you want isn't simple. It requires confronting someone of pretty high status even in this universe."
Young-woo pointed to the sky with his fingertip.
Then he swung his finger to point at Jeong-gu.
"But if you enter a political marriage with Dad and help establish my family... things could change a lot."
―What bullshit are you spouting now?
"Bullshit? You want to live and die as someone even a mere cosmic tax auditor ignores?"
Kubu tried to object for the first time.
―I wouldn't say ignore...
"Shut up, Kubu! How does something without a mouth have so much to say!"
Shing!
As Young-woo shoved the Bastard Sword in front of Kubu's eyeball, Ji-seon chimed in.
―You blatantly skipped the 'honor' part for me—honestly, that's ignoring me.
―......
Utter silence.
Before the crazy mother-son duo, Kubu had no choice but to shut up.
―So what the hell do you want?
"I'm saying marriage to my dad is essential for this great undertaking. And it starts with..."
Darling.
A small change in how they addressed each other.
―Fuck, that bullshit again.
"The beginning may be humble, but the end shall be grand—never heard that?"
As he pointed to the sky again, selling dreams, Young-woo continued.
"To build a proper family and head to the universe, we need a proper family first. This is all about laying the foundation."
―......
"So Mom, stop with the bullshit and just say it once. 'Darling.' No one can see your face behind the mask anyway."
As Young-woo said, it was much easier for Ji-seon, hiding her face behind the mask, to say 'darling.'
"Do it quick! With that one word from you, our grand journey begins!"
As Young-woo passionately jabbed at the sky again, Song Ji-seon reluctantly muttered one word.
―...Darling.
"What? I can't hear you!"
―Darling, you bastard! Ears clogged?
Shing!
Having said 'darling' twice already, Song Ji-seon gritted her teeth and raised her greatsword threateningly. Startled, Kubu deeply closed its eye and retreated.
Swoosh!
Then it hurriedly conveyed a shocking fact to Young-woo.
―Jeong Young-woo07 has no 'parents' yet!
"What?"
―What?
Kubu's shock therapy worked not just on Young-woo but on Ji-seon too.
"Hey, tax auditor. What the hell does that mean?
If Jeong Young-woo had no parents, he couldn't establish the family he so desperately wanted—and then Ji-seon herself would be stuck living subserviently on this wretched planet.
The worst scenario for her.
Kubu blinked, then looked sequentially at Young-woo, Ji-seon, and Jeong-gu.
―Under cosmic law, 'parents' only take effect with official agreement from both parties.
"What does that mean exactly? They both acknowledged it anyway. Kim Jeong-gu is my dad, and Song Ji-seon is..."
Young-woo, mid-sentence, suddenly shut his mouth.
Then he closed his eyes as realization dawned.
"Ah... it's 'father' and 'mother,' not 'parents.'"
―Correct.
In the universe, father, mother, and parents were distinct concepts.
In other words, Young-woo physically had parents but conceptually did not.
"So how do I get parents?"
When Young-woo asked Kubu, the 9th-grade cosmic eyeball rolled dramatically.
―You must perform an official agreement ceremony per the family court's specified format and procedures.
"Agreement ceremony? You mean a wedding?"
As Young-woo confirmed, before an answer came, Ji-seon stepped back, and Jeong-gu hid deeper behind Young-woo.
And soon after.
―Yes. Per current public notices, it requires betrothal gifts equal to the number of agreers... at least two agreement guarantors, five or more witnesses...
As Kubu recited the current cosmic wedding requirements, Young-woo waved his hand to cut off the tax auditor and got straight to the point.
"Hold on—answer this first."
―Yes. Speak.
"Witnesses? So, there's a wedding guest tradition?"
Kubu paused, then rolled its eyeball again.
The concept of 'wedding guests' seemed purely Earthly, so it was interpreting accordingly.
―Witnesses differ somewhat in function and meaning from Earth's wedding guests.
"Yeah?"
―However, there are blessers.
"What's that?"
―Each agreer and ceremony host may select blessers to attend within designated limits...
"No, that's wedding guests."
―Agreers and hosts must submit the blesser list to the family court.
In short, they had to report the guest list to the court.
"Oh, so? How do you invite the... blessers, not guests? Send people?"
Kubu blinked.
―Blesser summons go through the family court. But for those wanted by courts, tracking may fail, leading to summons errors.
"Ah. The court sends the invitations for you. Unique."
Young-woo nodded as if he finally got it, then pulled out the real question burning inside him.
"Okay... one more thing. The most important one."
―Speak.
"Wedding gifts... can we collect them?"