Chapter 139
It wasn't just that he was too terrified to go—it was the fact that he felt pathetic for being scared. That was undoubtedly a change.
In the past, he wouldn't have batted an eye at giving up on something. But after a few years of training in this world, his self-esteem had grown considerably. It hadn't been like this before.
Back in middle and high school, he'd ignore it even when the tough kids picked on him. Detours around parks where delinquents hung out were a given. He'd never once thought himself cowardly or inadequate for it. That was just how it was. For ordinary people, that was natural.
Only kids drunk on hero fantasies or those who couldn't stomach injustice would pick fights. Most people in the world just steered clear. Why bother with the hassle and the harm? The smart move was to avoid danger and hardship altogether. It was the shortcut to a long life, the wisdom of navigating the world.
So why did it suddenly feel cowardly now? Pitiful? It was strange.
Han Yaseong pondered by the crackling campfire. If he crossed into the forest beyond, he could never go back to being ordinary. There'd be no returning to his old self.
But if he stayed put, he could keep living as himself. Or rather, not quite ordinary, but close enough. He could keep hanging out with Senior Choi Yujin and Senior Euna, having fun.
Not venturing beyond meant no great losses or damages. He could just keep on as before.
Yet he couldn't shake the creeping gloom. Being in this world no longer felt good. He'd always enjoyed it here, but for the first time, it felt off, uncomfortable.
Maybe it was the sense of loss from abandoning a goal.
Han Yaseong wrestled endlessly before the snapping flames. Risk his life to go beyond, or preserve it and stay? It felt like Russian roulette.
The danger was that immense. Not knowing what lay beyond only amplified the fear. His skills were laughably inadequate by comparison.
He'd need to handle at least five or six tigers barehanded to even consider it. Right now, with a real sword, he could barely take down one or two.
At that level, stumbling into some massive beast beyond the trees meant instant death in three moves flat. Just thinking about it made him hesitate in terror.
Before, with nothing to lose, dying on an expedition wouldn't have mattered. Now, he had too much at stake. He didn't want to die.
Above all, he couldn't bear losing Senior Choi Yujin. And Senior Euna too, for that matter... If he died, he'd never see them again. That terrified him.
"Agh... what to do..."
Han Yaseong sighed, rolling restlessly on his blanket. Anyone seeing him like this would call him a coward, indecisive. But he couldn't help it.
The unknown beyond the forest scared him more than a gang of knife-wielding thugs. No—even a hundred sashimi-knife mobsters paled in comparison.
It was the horror of the utterly unknown. With zero intel, the dread just kept swelling inside him. That's why armed thugs felt less frightening—they were visible, predictable. Fightable. Escapable.
But beyond? Pure mystery. A deep-sea abyss.
For three or four hours, he tossed and turned on the blanket, agonizing over it, until exhaustion claimed him at dawn.
The next day, he skipped training. Just ate in the dorm space, curled up, killing time in boredom. Yadong ate and slept, sprawled out.
Without a firm decision, time dragged unbearably. Nothing to do.
He even considered buying a drone for recon—something from a TV news segment. Fly it beyond with a camera. Scout safely from afar.
But it didn't sit right. Felt like cheating. Using a drone seemed even more cowardly than going himself.
For a real expedition, he had to go in person.
Han Yaseong rolled around until lunch, then eyed Yadong. That guy definitely came from beyond the forest. With that massive scar on his belly. What had gotten him?
"Yadong, you came from beyond the forest, right?"
No answer, of course. Han Yaseong hadn't really expected one. He kept muttering questions to himself.
"What's out there? Lots of scary stuff?"
"Could you die? From monsters? Or man-eating swamps, carnivorous trees?"
"How'd you get here? Lived here and went over, or what?"
"Would I die if I went? How dangerous is it? Way worse than here, right?"
He fired off questions. Yadong lay long and silent.
Han Yaseong let out a deep sigh. Stay here: safe. No dying.
Go beyond: risky. Possible death.
Like choosing Russian roulette or not. Same stakes with your life.
Ordinary folks never play. They live ordinary lives forever. No names in history—just age, sicken, die unnamed.
Most Joseon folk, Goryeo, Silla, Baekje, Goguryeo—died forgotten. Leaving a mark is extraordinary in itself.
Ordinary people vanish unknown, save to kin. A smooth life, or an empty one.
Conversely, the bold-hearted, hero-worshippers, or hotheads play the game. Their lives become all or nothing: massive success or failure.
Most fail big—death or prison. But winners etch into history, dazzle the world. Claim what normals can't. That's the elite upper crust.
People whose every deed or death hits papers and news. Wielding power and wealth in splendor.
Han Yaseong stood at the crossroads. Become special, or stay ordinary?
Enter the forest: special. Back out: ordinary forever. Maybe never elite.
A timid soul scared off exploration wouldn't rise. Hard to profit from white fruits too—likely robbed and killed.
Becoming a 100-trillion elite there mirrored scouting here. Forsake the forest, forsake the top.
With current power and fruits, maybe billions. Trillions? Impossible. He'd be the sucker selling cheap.
Like a nobody finding a billion-dollar meteor—pocketing pennies. Conglomerates turn it billions via research. Value depends on whose hands.
Han Yaseong drew his real sword, eyeing the blade. Beside Yageom's flank gleamed Yaseong-i.
The white fruit in his hands now? Maybe tens of billions.
But return from beyond? Hundreds of billions, trillions later. Over a hundredfold value.
That was the gulf—go or not.
Long he stared at the sword. Then decided.
"Yeah. Let's go."
A man's pride wouldn't tolerate cowering. This newfound self-respect—for the first time.
Quitting anything else was fine before. But not this expedition.
Honestly, scouting beyond mattered more than Senior Choi Yujin, his life, his future.
Abandoning it meant abandoning everything. Life after would lose its spark.