The Freshman Killer
In the soft warmth of the bed, small talk about school and majors drifted easily between us. Ji-eun had been chattering away for a while, playfully fussing with her fingers against my chest, when she suddenly looked up at me with eyes full of curiosity.
“But Uncle, what was it like when you were in college? You must’ve had a girlfriend, right?”
Her innocent question sent fragments of old memories flickering through my mind. I slowly stroked her soft hair and answered in a low voice.
“Well… college culture these days might be a little different, but when I was in school, there weren’t that many girls in engineering. So kids with nice personalities like yours actually had a pretty hard time.”
“Huh? Why? If you’re nice, doesn’t that just mean you’re more popular?”
Ji-eun blinked at me, puzzled. I gave a bitter little smile and went on.
“Back in my freshman year, there was a girl in my class just like you—always smiling, bright and cheerful. She’d ask me about assignments a lot, and she always answered the little things so warmly that I started developing feelings for her myself. Then one night, when the whole department was out drinking, the mood got right and something like a confession happened. We started seeing each other, shared a kiss… and before long we were dating in secret, keeping it from everyone else in the major. But then a problem came up.”
“What kind of problem?”
Ji-eun pressed her ear tightly against my chest, completely absorbed.
“Guys are simple creatures. Because she was so kind and answered everyone so sweetly, half the upperclassmen and guys in our year started thinking, ‘Maybe she’s into me?’ One or two at a time, they made their moves. She was already secretly dating me, and she never meant anything by the friendliness in the first place, so of course she turned them all down. But later, when the guys got together for drinks, the stories started coming out by accident. ‘Yeah, I actually asked that girl out and got shot down.’”
“Ah…”
Ji-eun’s brow furrowed slightly. She seemed to sense where this was heading.
“And the guy next to him goes, ‘Wait, you too? Me too!’ Turns out five or six guys in the same major had all been rejected by her at the same time. They started muttering among themselves like a bunch of pathetic losers, and in no time she was the weird one. Rumors started spreading that she was some terrible girl who toyed with guys’ hearts and stringed them along.”
Ji-eun’s eyes grew dark and still.
“In the end she became an outcast without quite being an outcast, and it was hell for her. The rumors got dirtier and more out of control… The stress of it all slowly drove a wedge between us too, and we broke up. It was a textbook, cruel example of how projection and social exclusion work in a male-dominated environment.”
Ji-eun listened quietly for a long time, then let out a soft sigh and confessed.
“…Actually, something kind of similar happened to me too. I was just being nice, but they all misunderstood and started confessing…”
There was deep empathy and a clear bitterness in her voice. Sharing that old wound and the psychology beneath it made the emotional bond between us feel even stronger. As if trying to lighten the mood, Ji-eun poked my chest with a finger and asked playfully,
“So after that, you didn’t date anyone?”
I cleared my throat once and gave her a shameless grin.
“Well… a lot of things happened. In the end, I never went a single year of college without a new girlfriend.”
“Wow, really? You were a total player.”
“But weirdly, I only ever ended up dating the new freshmen every year. So among the guys in my year, my nickname was ‘the Freshman Killer.’”
At my brazen confession, Ji-eun couldn’t hold it in—she burst into helpless laughter, clutching her stomach. After laughing until she was out of breath, she nuzzled her face into my chest and wrapped both arms tightly around my waist in a mock sulk.
“Pfft—Freshman Killer… that’s seriously funny. But Uncle, you’re still at it, aren’t you? Looking at how you’ve completely bewitched a twenty-year-old freshman like me, that nickname never went anywhere.”
She clung to my waist and murmured in a voice thick with possessiveness and claim.
“So… you’re completely mine now. No thinking about anyone else.”
I held the pitiful twenty-year-old Ji-eun—whose emptiness had been completely filled by my gentle warmth—tight against me and pressed a soft kiss into her hair. She seemed to love the feel of my broad chest and the cozy blankets so much that she soon settled, her breathing evening out as she drifted into a deep sleep.
Just as her consciousness was fading and sleep was about to claim her completely, the Ji-eun buried in my arms stirred the tiniest bit. In a voice fully sunk into sleep, as if speaking a sorrowful dream, she murmured softly,
“…Even if other girls come along… don’t throw me away.”
The next morning, when I opened my eyes, bright sunlight was pouring through the gap in the curtains. I turned my head and found Ji-eun still fast asleep with her face buried against my chest, breathing quietly. I had overdue work and personal projects to handle that afternoon, so it was time to head back to my place.
I brushed my fingers over her soft cheek as she slept, then leaned in and placed a light morning kiss on her glistening lips. At the gentle contact she furrowed her brow and slowly pushed open her heavy eyelids. Looking up at me with eyes still half-glazed by sleep, she seemed so young and lovable.
“Ji-eun, Uncle has to go home and get some work done now.”
At my low voice she curled up under the sheets and mumbled. I gently brushed her hair back and carefully checked her face, remembering last night’s first time.
“How are you feeling down there? Still hurt a lot?”
Ji-eun’s cheeks flushed red as she pulled the blanket up to her nose. Then she shyly met my eyes and answered quietly,
“…It’s not like it’s really bad or anything, but it’s still a little sore. I’m okay though.”
“That’s a relief. Don’t push yourself—just sleep some more.”
I gave her a gentle pat, then got out of bed and started gathering the clothes scattered across the floor one by one. Ji-eun watched my back from under the covers as I pulled on my socks and zipped up. Suddenly, as if she’d made up her mind, she sat up in bed. She smoothed her messy bedhead and looked at me with eyes full of curiosity and expectation.
“Uncle… could I maybe come with you to your place and look around? I’m really curious about where you live.”
It was an unexpectedly bold suggestion, but I had no reason to refuse. I’d been a little worried that leaving her alone might let yesterday’s sense of transgression drag her back into depression. Taking her into my space and giving her a clear sense of belonging felt better. At my approving look Ji-eun finally relaxed and gave a small nod, and we packed lightly and headed for my apartment.
Since we were going to my place anyway, and neither of us wanted to move on an empty stomach, we stopped at the shops in the apartment complex and picked up two warm toasts to go. With bitter iced Americanos from a nearby café in both hands, we had ourselves a pretty decent breakfast.
“Mmm, I was just getting hungry—this is so good.”
In the car, Ji-eun took a big bite of her toast and chattered away, a little smear of sugar syrup at the corner of her mouth. While we waited at a light I pulled out a tissue and wiped it for her. She smiled bashfully and glanced at my face.
“But Uncle, I want to know everything about how you live and what you look like when you’re just being yourself. I want to see your place, and I want to watch you work all cool in front of your computer.”
The words she mumbled around her toast were full of a strong possessiveness and curiosity—she wanted to step deep into the everyday life of the adult man I was. That unique, bold greed of hers, wanting to know more about me than even Na-yeon did, made me feel strangely good.
“Alright. Today’s the day—go ahead and explore every corner of Uncle’s place.”
At my easy agreement Ji-eun beamed as if she’d won the world and took a deep pull on her coffee straw. When we arrived at my apartment and I unlocked the door, she stepped carefully inside with big blinking eyes, fascinated by the unfamiliar space of an adult man living alone. The place was tidy and uncluttered for a bachelor pad. Ji-eun soon began poking around the living room and study, opening drawers and looking at everything.
True to being an engineering student, the things that caught her eye were different from ordinary girls. Instead of pretty decorations or clothes, her gaze locked onto the camera lenses lined up on my study desk, the massive monitors, and the high-end PC components whose insides glowed softly. Her eyes lit up.
“Whoa… Uncle, aren’t these camera lenses crazy expensive? And the computer parts are no joke either… Specs must be really high. This graphics card costs over a million won, right?”
Ji-eun traced the model names with her fingertip, eyes sparkling with genuine interest. Watching that precise, curious look, I couldn’t help smiling—an engineering girl really was an engineering girl. The girl who’d been writhing obscenely on the bed earlier was gone; now she was pure and admiring, like a kid showing off her major, and the contrast was strangely charming.
“My work’s in this field, so the specs are a bit high. I like taking photos too, so I put a lot into the graphics card and processor for editing. If you’re interested, you can touch everything later to your heart’s content.”
“Hehe, really? Uncle, you’re the best.”