The Shadow's Mysterious Longing
The strange emotion tugged at him, though he himself had no idea why he had done it. Why had he gone this far? And yet this was not the child's wish. The child had not asked for it. It was his own doing. He could not understand it. Had he gone mad? Perhaps something had gone wrong because of that child. Yes, this strange feeling refused to fade. Every time he looked at the child, every time they spoke, every time he learned more about the child's plight, it became harder and harder to shake off. He had committed the act in the midst of this torment. The shadow truly could not grasp why he felt this way. Once more he became a shadow, slipping between shadows and pressing onward. And where he reached this time was once again the hospital. //////// "Where did you go?" the child asked. The shadow offered no answer. He simply sat beside the child. The child, however, had suffered another seizure. The condition appeared even worse. The face had paled further than before. Now the shadow understood. The time left for this child was fleeting. So he must grant the child's wish first, then explore the soul. Why? The shadow said nothing. It made no attempt to seduce, as it had before. This was the same shadow who could not understand himself. On the other hand, Suji's eyes remained bright with curiosity. Why was she so curious about where he had been? Her gaze sparkled as if she could not look away. "Why no answer? Did I... make you angry?" "There's no reason to be angry." "Then what is it? Why won't you answer? Where did you go?" So persistent. Was she bored? The tablet she always carried was nowhere in sight. The shadow glanced at the shelf beside her. Ah, it was charging. The shadow let out a long sigh. "I just stepped outside for a bit." At those words the child nodded. "It's so envious." The shadow frowned, yet he understood Suji's heart. She wanted to go out. Just then Suji's gaze shifted sideways. Beyond the window the sky had begun to darken. Between the lengthening twilight a sunset was spreading. The sky had turned a deep crimson. Suji stared at the sight for a long moment, then spoke. "Hey, you said you'd grant any wish I made, right?" The shadow looked at the child in silence. At last the child had a real wish? But why? There was no restlessness stirring inside, as before. Could it be another unreasonable request? "Can you really grant anything?" "As long as it's not something unreasonable like returning time, like last time, I can." The shadow replied, and Suji smiled playfully. After a brief pause she spoke again, her voice labored. "I want to go camping." "What? What do you want to do?" "Camping. Camping!" Suji pointed at the tablet with her thin fingers as she spoke. It was clearly the video of a camping YouTuber she had been watching. The shadow's face twisted in disbelief. "That's all? You don't want to live longer or something?" Suji shook her head firmly. "I want to go camping." "But why?" The shadow could not understand. Normal children would not want to suffer anymore. For a child facing the end of life, wanting to live longer would be natural. Or they would ask to have something, to meet someone. But this child was different. It felt as though the illness was devouring her and that she wished for death. Every time that thought crossed his mind the shadow felt a sharp pain in his chest. "Take me camping." "With me? Not with your parents... you want to go with me?" The shadow asked in astonishment, and Suji smiled. "I don't think it's possible." That voice crackling with pain stirred the strange feeling once more inside the shadow. He still did not know what kind of emotion this was. He did not understand why it felt this way. It was frustrating. Was something blocking his heart? "Is it impossible? You can't do it?" "Hmph! I can do anything." "Then take me camping..." "Right now?" "If possible." The shadow was troubled. This was his first time granting such a wish. But he could not refuse. If the child wanted it, he could at least do this much. "You won't regret it?" the shadow asked again, and Suji nodded. There was no strength left in her. If she closed her eyes right now she would probably fall asleep forever, yet she still forced a smile. "Good! Let's go!" ///////// Hwan's footsteps halted before the hospital. Beside him stood Miho. She wore a long coat as usual and large sunglasses, yet every eye in the place was on her. It was as if she were an idol. She seemed to enjoy the stares. Hwan headed inside. In his hand he carried a compass, though it was no ordinary one. It pointed in the same direction, yet not north. Hwan raised the compass and entered the hospital. Looking at the crowded lobby he said, "It's here." "Hmm, a lot of people. This will be troublesome." Miho spoke softly. She scanned the surroundings, and again people could not tear their eyes from her. Hwan sighed. Every time he walked with her this happened. Even her beauty made people stare and become annoyed. Right now, for example. He wanted to hide her, but her mischievous nature refused to obey. Hwan shook his head and headed toward the information desk, but his steps stopped. "Can you feel it?" he asked. Miho nodded. Hwan changed direction toward the elevators. The compass in his hand spun in circles, confirming the floor. /////// He rode the elevator from floor to floor until it stopped at the fourth. Ironically, this was the ICU floor. Could the shadow be hiding here? Hwan felt uneasy. In the ICU he could not move freely. His feet were suddenly bound. Then loud noises came from inside. Busy nurses and doctors rushed past. "Hmm... something must have happened." Miho said, curious. Hwan followed as quietly as possible. "The patient is gone!" a nurse cried. "Which patient?" "The one in the ICU!" "Where is the shadow?" Hwan wondered. He slipped through the crowded nurses and doctors as if he were a ghost. The ICU room stood empty. Between them the nurses and doctors looked bewildered. The doctor asked the nurse where the child had gone. The nurse shook her head, saying she did not know. Unbelievable. The senior nurse blamed the others for falling asleep on the job, but the younger nurses protested that they had not. It was only evening; no one could have dozed. Yet the child had vanished. Hwan felt even more curious. The doctor told the nurses to check the security room and the cameras. Then he ordered the whole hospital to be informed and the child searched for. The nurses rushed out to contact security. Hwan watched in silence. When everyone else had left the room, Hwan and Miho were alone. "There are traces everywhere." The compass spun faster. Miho looked around and then at the bed where the child had been lying. She reached out and felt the lingering warmth. Miho nodded.