The Silent Wish
Suji woke up. The hospital room was quiet, and as always, she was alone in it. By now, she had grown used to this silence. At first she had hated being alone so much that she would cry and throw tantrums, but she no longer did that. She had simply become accustomed to solitude. In fact, it felt comfortable. Whenever her mother or father was around, they only ever fought. Yes, being alone was better.
And now, the darkness no longer frightened her. The silence no longer scared her either.
She yawned widely. Suji lay there blankly, staring up at the ceiling of the hospital room. There was nothing in particular to do. Besides, she wasn’t in much pain at the moment. Still, how long would she have to stay here? She wanted to go back to school. But she didn’t want to go home. It was such an ironic feeling.
She hated the idea of returning home, yet she still longed to go to school. She wanted to see her friends and her teacher. She wanted to study. But the thought of going back to that house and facing her parents again filled her with dread. They would only fight again anyway… And if she were discharged, she would have no choice but to return home. Ah, she really hated it.
She hated her family that fought every single day. She hated it when her mother brought home strangers. She hated knowing her father was with another woman. Even if she went home, she would still be alone. Just like always. Being lonely in this hospital room was far better than being lonely in that house. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to be discharged, but she hated the idea of going home. At the same time, she didn’t want to stay here forever either.
For a young child like Suji, the situation was incredibly confusing. Did she want to go home, or did she want to stay here? Did she want to see her mom and dad, or did she never want to see them again? Whenever she thought too deeply about it, a sharp, stabbing pain would bloom in her chest. Was this the reason she had been hospitalized? If so, how could this kind of pain be healed? Would the doctor be able to fix the pain in her heart too? She didn’t know. She really didn’t know. She couldn’t even remember exactly why she had ended up in the hospital in the first place.
The last thing she remembered before waking up in this room was her parents fighting again that day. She didn’t know what they were fighting about. It happened so often. When their fights grew especially bad, the word “divorce” would always come up. Young Suji hadn’t really understood what “divorce” meant. She only knew it was a bad word, so she had never tried to look it up.
That day, as usual, she had been watching YouTube videos on her tablet. That was when she first learned the meaning of the word. Some YouTuber had mentioned getting a divorce. Curious, she had searched for it and discovered the truth. From that moment on, fear had taken root inside her. Were Mom and Dad going to separate too? What would happen to her then? Would she be abandoned? The thought terrified her.
That fear only grew worse each time their fights became more frequent. No matter how tightly she covered her ears, she could never block out the sound of them screaming at each other. The more she heard, the larger her fear swelled, until one day it became so painful that she could barely breathe. Please… stop… please stop fighting… The words piled up inside her chest, but they refused to leave her lips. Whenever she tried to force her voice out, the pain in her heart only grew sharper. Yet her parents never stopped. She couldn’t breathe. The world began to spin. Her body went limp. And then she collapsed.
That was her last memory. After that, everything went black. When she finally regained consciousness, she was already here. The doctors had told her she had an incurable disease. The name was so difficult to pronounce that Suji had quickly forgotten it. But she felt okay now. Maybe she was getting better? Maybe she could go back to school? She hated her house, but she wanted to see her friends. She missed her teacher. She didn’t want to be alone anymore.
She let out a heavy sigh.
That was when a voice spoke.
Suji turned her head. There, beside her bed, stood that strange shadow once again. For some reason, the sight of it filled her with warmth.
Suji chattered away like a little bird. Once again, she seemed to have discovered something fascinating on her tablet. She even held the screen out to show the shadow. There were all kinds of videos. Some showed animals acting like people, playfully doting on children. Others depicted cats and dogs heroically saving babies from danger.
“Isn’t it amazing?” Suji asked, her voice tinged with excitement. “How can animals do things like that?”
The shadow’s reaction was indifferent. These videos held no interest for it. It snorted and replied curtly.
Suji tilted her head. “Fake?”
The shadow clicked its tongue and stretched out its pitch-black, slightly translucent body to point at the screen.
It spoke with even more certainty. Suji frowned. She stared at the screen for a moment, then sighed.
Her tone sounded far too world-weary for a child who had not even reached ten years of age. The shadow shrugged and looked at her again. Suji’s face had grown gloomy. She scrolled past the videos she had found so wondrous only moments ago with complete disinterest. The screen flickered through idol fancams and edited clips from variety shows. She deliberately skipped anything noisy or cheerful. But whenever travel vlogs appeared, she would pause for a long time, staring at landscapes she could never see from her hospital bed, before letting out another sigh and moving on.
The shadow watched her for a while before finally speaking.
But the child gave no answer. The more she stayed silent, the more troubled the shadow became. It had met many children before, but never one so utterly devoid of desire.
“Hmm…” It let out a low sound, almost like a sigh, and continued watching the girl who only stared at her YouTube videos. Slowly, the shadow extended its dark, translucent form closer to her side and whispered again.
A cold, bitter smile formed on its face. There was no emotion in that icy voice—only a chilling proposal. Of course, young Suji could not fully grasp the meaning, but she seemed to sense that it was something ominous. She paused for a moment. Her eyes remained fixed on the tablet, where another camping vlog was playing.
The shadow whispered once more.
It was a sweet, tempting whisper. A voice that had always ensnared its prey. Never once had this seduction failed. And yet… Suji thought for a long time before finally shaking her head. The shadow frowned again.
When it asked again, this time with clear irritation, Suji hesitated before answering quietly.
For some reason, Suji showed no sign of longing. Instead, her expression only grew sadder. She scrolled past the current video and started watching another. Once again, she skipped all the loud variety show clips and chose a quiet camping video instead. The shadow hovered nearby, staring at her in silence. She truly was the most difficult child it had ever encountered. It could not figure out what she wanted. Her heart remained completely closed off.
A few days later, deep in the night when everyone else was asleep, Suji’s condition took a turn for the worse. At first it seemed like a nightmare. She broke out in a cold sweat, groaning in pain. Her fever spiked. She could not regain consciousness. It was more than just a bad dream. It looked like a seizure. The monitor beside her bed began emitting sharp warning beeps, alerting anyone nearby to the danger. But it was the middle of the night. The on-duty doctor and nurses had just finished an emergency surgery and were all dozing off, completely unaware of the alarms.