White Zombies

I scrolled down without mercy.

The skill I had chosen on the first floor was A-rank Slap Fighting Champion.

It maximized palm attack power and turned my skull rock-hard.

One solid slap and anything would die.

But if I ever got countered, I was finished on the spot.

Still not enough.

Attack was maxed out. Defense was zero.

An extreme glass cannon.

I needed a defense skill.

That was when I glanced sideways and saw Serena’s face all crumpled up. She was staring holes through her own status window—one I couldn’t see.

"What skill did you get?"

I asked offhandedly.

"...F-rank ‘Aggro Draw’."

Serena answered in a completely drained voice.

"What? Pfft—hahahaha!"

Laughter exploded out of me.

A healer who got a skill that painted a target on her back for every mob in the place?

"Heh. Perfect. You pull the aggro, I’ll clean them all up with slaps."

"You think this is funny?! One hit and I’m dead!"

Serena shrieked.

Then she suddenly checked my expression.

"Then what about you? What skill did you get?"

"Hmm, what should I pick…"

"Huh?"

Serena watched me with a look of pure incomprehension.

Ignoring her stare, I flicked my finger and kept scrolling.

The UI was absolute garbage. Thanks to the error I got to choose freely, but there was no sort function, no search—nothing. Just pure manual grinding down the list.

That was when it happened.

Hmm?

Among the junk skills, one name gleamed with unmistakable light.

S-rank.

Looked like an acceleration skill.

I changed my mind on the spot.

Raising defense was fine and all, but dodging everything and just beating the shit out of them was better.

I tapped it without a second of hesitation.

Ding! Pa-pa-ra-bam—!

A dazzling fireworks effect exploded right in front of my eyes.

Holy shit. This is broken as hell.

The monologue slipped out on its own. Even I could tell this skill was completely insane. The corners of my mouth stretched from ear to ear.

I turned a grin on Serena, who was staring straight at me.

"I got a good one."

"What is it? Tell me!"

"You’ll see later. Knowing ahead of time kills the fun."

"Tch… so mean!"

I ignored her whining and pulled the Golden Goblin’s map out of my bag, unfolding it.

My body was tired. I needed to punch through the second-floor maze as fast as possible. I wanted to reach the lower-floor city of the Great Labyrinth on the third floor and finally get some real sleep.

We were right at the entrance to the second floor’s underground cave maze, and we had a map. Finding the path was a piece of cake.

"Let’s see… right from here."

I checked the three-way fork against the map and set our direction. Behind me, Serena trudged along with a bulky pack strapped to her back.

We hadn’t gone much farther when the second floor’s monsters finally came out to greet us.

From a distance they were already a sight. Things that looked like they’d been doused head to toe in flour shambled around with their heads hanging low.

"White zombies…"

Serena clutched my sleeve and whispered.

White zombies, huh. What an intuitive name.

I left Serena standing there and slowly closed in on them, killing my presence as much as possible. Up close they were even worse.

Their entire bodies looked like pure white porcelain, yet they had no genitals. Their arms were unnaturally long and their nails looked like they hadn’t been cut in a decade. Faces with no eyes and no ears—just bare holes for nostrils. The worst part was the mouth. Inside that grotesquely torn gash sat dozens of razor-sharp shark teeth.

Ugh, fucking hell. Look at that visual.

I was already sick of the Labyrinth’s garbage aesthetic sense. Time to clean them up.

I slipped behind the nearest white zombie. It still hadn’t noticed me. I raised my palm and swung a full-power slap.

Whack—!!!!!!

Thud!

The white zombie flew into the wall without so much as a scream. With a sound like a pumpkin bursting, it crumpled into paste.

"Kyaaaaaaak—!"

A horrible shriek echoed through the maze. The other two zombies that had been hanging their heads snapped awake at once.

Save Time of Sonic Speed.

One-hour cooldown ultimate. Way too precious to waste on these bottom-feeder zombie bastards. Plain old slaps would do just fine.

"Kyaaak!"

I swung my right hand at the first one charging in.

Whack—!!!

Another one went flying. At the same time the last one lunged from the right, jaws wide for a sneak attack. I had no intention of dodging. I casually shoved my head straight into its maw.

Crunch—!

Those sharp shark teeth clamped down on my skull. But my head was invincible. Far from taking damage, the only sound was teeth shattering into powder.

"Where do you think you’re biting, you bastard."

I drove a palm smash straight into its side.

Boom—!!!!

The zombie launched into the air, tumbled across the ground, and shattered.

Situation over.

I roughly brushed my hair back. Thick zombie drool clung to my fingertips.

Ha, fuck. Did I pick the wrong skill?

Regret hit me for a second. Maybe I should have grabbed a full-body defense passive instead of an active. The new skill was broken as hell, but getting drool all over my head while cleaning up trash mobs put me in a foul mood.

We pushed deeper into the maze. We ran into a few more packs of white zombies, but I didn’t stick my head in any more mouths. These things were dumber and simpler than expected. Lightly dodging and landing slaps was more than enough.

Whack—! Boom—!

As I cleared the path I tossed out a casual remark.

"Hmm… no other golden goblins showing up?"

"Don’t think of other explorers as monsters!"

Serena shouted.

A party member who had tried to rob me the moment I was alone in the Labyrinth. Her hypocritical words didn’t even leave a scratch.

"But~ if we want to sleep in the Labyrinth City, eat, and maybe even get some action, don’t we need a few magic stones?"

I deliberately put on the most annoying, lecherous face I could manage.

"Eek…! You scum! Pervert!"

Serena turned pale and hugged herself with both arms. Watching my magnet pet, bio stamina potion, and forced bus passenger freak out was pretty entertaining.

I ignored her and kept walking with the map in hand.

How long had we been walking? From beyond the next corner came the murmur of voices.

"Hold up. People."

I muttered low and stopped Serena. As if she already foresaw the massacre about to unfold, she flinched and shrank in fear.

We carefully advanced. The moment we rounded the corner we came face to face with a group of five. They must have sensed us too; they already had their hands half on their weapons, on full guard.

A tense appraisal began. Both sides rolled their eyes, sizing each other up.

Five of them. Two warriors, one archer, one girl with daggers, one girl with a staff. A perfectly balanced, textbook party.

Heading up or heading down?

I still couldn’t tell. Conversely, the other party looked clearly flustered by the sight of us.

One bare-handed man. One woman with a staff carrying a huge pack. Veterans? Or crazy newbies?

The law of the Labyrinth was simple. Travel in a pack and it means you lack ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠confidence. Walk around as a duo and it means you’re fucking strong. Our gear, though, looked far from impressive. If anything it looked shabby.

The warrior who seemed to be their leader frowned. Two groups that couldn’t properly gauge each other’s combat power stared each other down as they slowly closed the distance.

I casually waved and greeted them first.

"Greetings, fellow explorers."

Hmm. Was that not how you greet people? Confusion was plain on their ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠faces.

"…A pleasure."

The middle-aged swordsman who looked like the leader returned the greeting in a heavy voice.

I cut straight to the point.

"Heading down, or up?"

"We’re heading down."

The leader answered shortly, never dropping his guard.

Tch. Paths overlap.

What to do in a case like this. I glanced at Serena, then continued to the middle-aged swordsman.

"As it happens, we’re heading down as well. Would it be alright if we went first?"

The moment the words left my mouth, the brows of every party member behind him furrowed hard. Was that rude?

"…Do as you please."

The middle-aged swordsman pondered a moment, then nodded.

"But Captain! Those guys look like nothing special…!"

"Enough!"

The dagger girl in the back shouted, but the middle-aged swordsman firmly cut her off.

Shame.

I thought they’d turn into golden goblins. Their leader was way too sharp.

"Our party is exhausted, so we’ll rest here a bit. Pay us no mind and go ahead."

Having made up his mind, the leader drove the point home. I swallowed my inner disappointment and sauntered past them.

"Then, safe exploring!"

I waved casually and moved on. When their figures had completely vanished beyond the corner, I turned to Serena, who kept glancing at me sideways.

"Hey, Serena. Was I a bit rude just now?"

Serena made a bizarre face of pure disbelief.

"Not a bit rude—you were extremely rude!"

"Huh? Why?"

"When you encounter a team going the same direction inside the Labyrinth, the etiquette is to yield and let the other go first! Blatantly saying you’ll go first is the same as saying ‘Your team looks weak as shit so we’re overtaking, cool?’ It’s a straight-up provocation!"

"Yikes, is that how it works?"

Come on. What kind of etiquette is there for exploring the Labyrinth? Anyway, even after eating that area-of-effect provocation they didn’t turn into golden goblins. That middle-aged swordsman had some real discernment. He seemed like a veteran who had already learned the hard way, through blood, that when you meet something bizarre, quietly backing off is better for your health.

"Tch. Could’ve hit the jackpot."

"Please stop trying to kill every adventurer you meet!"

Serena grumbled, patting her chest.

We left the golden goblin chance behind with mild regret and continued through the maze toward the third floor.