Chapter 21 - Complete Immortal Pill
The horns of the Mugaksa Dragon, boiled in the massive cauldron, had completely dissolved into the water.
Once the other ingredients were added and it bubbled vigorously, only a thick, glowing white liquid remained in the pot.
Jeong Gwang stared at it.
The hardships of the past few months flashed through his mind.
The Qaidam Basin was one thing.
But when he went to the Yellow River to catch a Dragon Scale Fish, some petty thugs picked a fight.
He'd stormed their main base intending to wipe them out, but the Taoists held him back, so he merely dislocated their joints as a light punishment.
In the end, he used them to catch the fish, so it wasn't all bad.
But on the way to help someone at Qinghai Lake, he ran into those filthy creatures called the Qinghai Four Dogs or Qinghai Four Evils—whatever they were. They looked disgusting from the start.
And naturally, their actions were just as vile. They were robbing a fallen official's family, famous for aiding the needy.
He tried to pass by, but the one called the Great Evil crossed the line.
'Oho! So pretty! Come here, let this old man dote on you.'
'I'm a guy, though?'
'Heh heh. I know.'
He sliced off the mouth first.
Then the tongue, ears, nose, eyes. He was about to crush the fingers and toes when the other three rushed him at once.
Naturally, he carved all four into thin slices.
'G-Great hero! Judging by your martial arts, you're a Kunlun immortal! Please spare us!'
'Huh? I haven't cut your tongue yet?'
He fixed that right away.
The fallen official's family knelt, babbling about grace and gratitude, but Jeong Gwang had no time for that.
He raced straight to Qinghai Lake and met the Kunlun Taoists. After two months of rolling in the dirt together, he finally got the target ingredient.
Next came the Tanggula Mountains.
He rushed there desperately, only to find it wrecked by a landslide.
How could he harvest Jade Peak honey or dig Seven-Year Ginseng without a clear path?
He cleared the debris with the Kunlun Taoists.
Before long, locals and merchants joined in, lending their strength.
Somehow, they even cleared the blocked roads.
The people cheered and thanked them, but only then could the Kunlun Taoists start their work.
Anyway, after two months wandering the Tanggula Mountains, he returned to Kunlun.
Then two more months rolling around Kunlun Mountain.
And now, with these desperately gathered materials, he'd made this spirit pill.
'What the hell is this?'
It should be black, but it was white.
The ingredients, ratios, water temperature, boiling time—everything was perfect. Why?!
'Theory is theory, practice is practice. Maybe it doesn't matter.'
It did matter!
Jeong Gwang's fists trembled.
His brain spun at full speed, analyzing the cause.
The conclusion?
'Let's just finish it first.'
Jeong Gwang gathered his internal energy in both hands.
With those hands, he kneaded the glowing white, thick liquid.
It shrank steadily until it formed a pill the size of a child's fist.
"Ah! Unbelievable!"
"It was so purely white, and now it's turned black!"
It had darkened from handling.
Jeong Gwang scratched his head roughly.
If he gave this to Un Hu as-is, it might ruin everything.
What to do?
There was a bit extra—maybe test it on someone first?
Jeong Gwang broke off a piece of the pill.
"A little left over. Anyone dreaming of longevity?"
The old Taoists, hands shooting up at blinding speed, froze like statues.
Their lifelong cultivation wasn't in vain.
'Endure. It's Jeong Gwang.'
'He wouldn't just give away a spirit pill.'
'Looks suspicious no matter how you slice it.'
'Did something go wrong?'
As the old Taoists glanced warily, Jeong Gwang sighed dramatically.
"Aww. You cultivators don't trust people at all. I'm really disappointed."
The old Taoists didn't budge.
After years of dealing with Jeong Gwang, this prodding tactic was child's play.
Seeing their rock-solid resolve, Jeong Gwang realized he was in trouble.
'Damn. Who to feed it to?'
He scanned the room, never once considering himself.
All the Taoists averted their eyes, pretending nonchalance.
'Huh?'
One met his gaze squarely.
Perfect for this—barely any time left, and a true Taoist embodiment!
Jeong Gwang blurred, reappearing far away.
"Here, eat up."
"……."
"Don't tell me you don't trust me? This'll make you live longer."
"……."
The other regarded him with serene, detached eyes.
The gaze of a true Taoist with no attachment to life.
Jeong Gwang's expression turned serious.
"You've suffered all this time. Let me repay you. Even if it goes wrong, you won't die. Eat it easy."
Would it work?
The other stared, then opened its mouth.
"Meeeh~"
"Good girl, Nanny Goat. Well done."
The Mountain Goat swallowed the pill crumb Jeong Gwang fed it.
Then it scanned the surroundings with that same serene gaze.
As if reflecting on a life with death at the door.
And it had.
Seventeen years since being kidnapped from roaming the harsh Kunlun Mountains.
Freedom tugged at first, but daily scripture readings and measured meals turned it into a Kunlun... no, Kunlun Goat.
Nursing the infant Jeong Gwang was a hassle, but watching him grow day by day made this life feel not so bad.
Yes, for a goat, it had been a long, long life.
Going like this was fine.
Jeong Gwang said it wouldn't kill, but the goat didn't believe him.
Why? Because it was Jeong Gwang.
The goat closed its eyes.
Off to ascend and feast on heavenly grass, rolling free...
"Bleeeech!"
The goat screamed and rolled on the floor.
It hurt! So much! Dying from pain!
Jeong Gwang, you bastard! How could you do this after drinking my milk?!
I'll haunt you as a ghost, never forgive...
Hmm?
Whoosh—
Sudden heat bloomed in its belly.
It spread through its body, bringing utter comfort.
All impurities melting away.
Prrrrrrt—
A majestic trumpet from its rear, expelling foul gas.
Ahh.
Body so light.
Am I dead?
No ascension to immortality, but not hell either.
Feels refreshed, like my prime ruling Kunlun Mountains.
Let's see how I look now.
It cracked its eyes.
Jeong Gwang's face, nose pinched shut.
"Meeeh!"
"Nanny, feeling okay?"
After floundering, the goat stood and moved.
Not just fine—its aching joints from years of pain moved fluidly!
"Hm. So the color difference means nothing? Black or white, it's all about the mind anyway."
Absurd sophistry, but the goat didn't care.
Process doesn't matter—results do!
Emboldened, it dashed around.
The faster it ran, the more strength surged.
Beyond health—rejuvenation!
Something boiled in its chest!
The goat bellowed unwittingly!
"MEEEEEEEH!"
A resounding goat roar echoed through Kunlun.
Sect Leader Un Jeok and Un Yeon eyed Jeong Gwang uneasily.
'Tries to test it on someone else.'
'No takers, so feeds it to the goat?'
Fortunately, the goat seemed rejuvenated, but who knew with humans.
"Is it really fine?"
"Yes."
"No issues at all?"
"No."
"Good, that's a relief... Wait. What did you say?"
"There are some issues."
"Didn't you say it's fine?"
"It's fine, but there are issues."
The two old Taoists gaped at the baffling words.
But they nodded soon after.
"The potency's stronger than expected. No big problems, but we'll know after he takes it."
Too much was worse than too little.
No great danger seemed likely, and no alternatives, so they fed the completed Half Immortal Pill to Un Hu.
Jeong Gwang thrust it at Un Hu the moment he woke.
"Grand-master. Eat up."
"Hah. You really finished it?"
"Of course. You look like you can't hold out much longer. Eat quick."
"You've worked hard."
Un Hu smiled faintly.
He knew his body best—no delusions of cure.
He'd endured only for the sincerity of Jeong Gwang and the Kunlun disciples.
Eating this would fulfill his duty; time to leave the world.
"Yes. I'll eat well."
The pill was huge; he chewed thoroughly.
Each bite brought a refreshing aroma and taste? Hell no.
A vomit-inducing stench and foulness drove him mad.
"Urk!"
As he gagged,
"Now!"
As planned, the Sect Leader clamped Un Hu's mouth with his palm. Un Yeon wrapped a long, thick cloth around his groin.
'D-Diaper?!'
Jeong Gwang explained to the bewildered man.
"The Half Immortal Pill's stronger than thought. Don't worry—it's just in case."
Un Hu's serene face paled yellow.
He could imagine what came next.
And sure enough.
"Grand-master, no vomiting. Peeing's unavoidable."
Un Hu's eyes bulged.
Infinite mercies! Amitabha!
Someone save me... Gah!
Immense heat boiled in his belly.
Guts burning agony twisted his body, but a palm pressed his abdomen.
And.
Jeong Gwang's pure, clear true qi caressed Un Hu's insides.
'Ahh...'
One strand wrapped the incomplete dantian; another mingled with the tormenting potency.
'Manipulating qi like this.'
Jeong Gwang's qi soothed the potency gently, like taming wild colts.
'Heh. Jeong Gwang, your kind nature shines in how you wield your qi.'
The potency softened, obeying Jeong Gwang's will.
Un Hu closed his eyes, observing the gentle harmony within.
'Is this what floating on clouds feels like?'
Illusion.
Once fully compliant, Jeong Gwang showed his true colors.
"Here it comes!"
"Where are you— Aaaargh!"
Un Hu screamed as Jeong Gwang whipped the potency viciously.
Like flogging unruly colts, starving them, forcing labor!
The already cowed potency frothed and charged Un Hu's channels and acupoints at Jeong Gwang's command.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
"Hng! Urk! Argh!"
Constricted or blocked channels and points screamed open.
Sizzle sizzle sizzle!
"Grrraaah!"
Un Hu's incomplete dantian boiled madly under Jeong Gwang's qi, melting.
'Th-this won't do!'
Un Hu clawed back consciousness.
He had words for Jeong Gwang.
"Cough! Wh-what did I do to deserve this?!"
"Circulate the Supreme Pure Unsurpassed Divine Art! Hurry!"
His mind snapped alert.
Right—Jeong Gwang had no reason to kill him.
Shamed by his faltering cultivation, Un Hu focused on qi circulation.
The single strand Jeong Gwang planted warmed the empty dantian.
'Urgh. Dantian's unstable; can't grow more qi... Huh!'
The melting dantian solidified into proper form.
Painful, but Un Hu circulated freely.
Vast potency in the cleansed channels gathered to his dantian under Jeong Gwang's guidance.
Layering up, it fused with his qi strand into flawless, pure internal energy.
Un Hu's face lit with ecstasy feeling his dantian fill.
Heh. Such bliss.
"Endure one more!"
What more!
"No, two more!"
My bad! Just one!
Guided by Jeong Gwang, Un Hu's internal energy rampaged fiercely.
Toward the Ren and Du meridians—once opened but clogged again over years without martial arts!
Kaboom! Splurt!
Ren meridian burst open—and urine exploded.
Kaboom! Splatter!
Du meridian burst—and diarrhea followed.
Even when Un Hu opened them himself, it hadn't been like this.
The pill's effect plus forced external breakthrough!
Soaked in filth, Un Hu entered samadhi.
But soon snapped out.
Samadhi or not, the stench was unbearable.
First: self-loathing.
'Me, shitting and pissing at this age...'
Next: confidence.
'But I regained my martial arts—and grew stronger!'
Finally: emptiness.
'A supreme master who can't even control his bowels... Heh heh.'
Missed samadhi returned.
All is emptiness, returning to nothingness—he felt it in his bones.
'Yes, this was inevitable.'
Un Hu let go completely.
His spirit detached, floating upward.
Ascension phenomenon.
Every Taoist's dream, but his heart was calm.
This world was not his place.
Free of all, heading to the immortal realm—no lingering regrets.
Un Hu bid farewell.
'You've worked hard. Farewell.'
As he departed,
—Where do you think you're going?!
Jeong Gwang's Demonic Spirit Soul Control Art shout struck his mind.
Simultaneously,
Crack!
Like shattering glass, his spirit snapped back.
Blinking, Un Hu saw Jeong Gwang's angry face.
"...You pulled me back?"
"Yes."
Watching Sect Leader and Un Yeon gaped, drooling.
Half Immortal Pill? More like Complete Immortal Pill!
They saw Un Hu fading to ascension, yet Jeong Gwang interfered?
A disciple committing such outrage!
But Un Hu stayed calm.
"Why?"
"……."
"Tell me. I'm curious."
Jeong Gwang answered with a troubled face.
"Who said you could leave whenever?!"