The Masterpiece Called Love and War
Hephaestus had told the Olympian gods he would be away on Lemnos for a few days, yet here he was at the festival? Something about this felt off. I studied the god standing on the dais.
"If you would all follow me for a moment, I shall show you my artistic creation!"
"An artistic creation? From the blacksmith god..."
"Hephaestus is skilled with weapons, but art?"
"Is it something large in scale?"
The gods murmured with curiosity. Zeus, who had been enjoying ambrosia, addressed him.
"Hephaestus, you sound so confident. May we expect something impressive?"
"Of course, Father. Even Apollo will not be able to surpass my work!"
What in the world had the boy made? Surely not another weapon like my bident. His boast was so arrogant it bordered on insolence, and the murmurs around us grew louder, though Apollo merely wore a curious smile, his interest clearly piqued.
"Is that so? Then let us see it. Lead the way."
"Yes, Father. Anyone who wishes to see may follow me!"
Zeus rose, and Poseidon followed with evident interest. Hephaestus had always sought fame as a blacksmith, never as an artist, so this was unexpected. As I hesitated, the goddess Styx approached and whispered to me.
"Hades, Hephaestus is so certain. We should go see it."
"Something feels strange... but very well."
The gods who followed Hephaestus arrived at his residence on Olympus. Did he keep an artwork in his own home? Hephaestus stopped before his bedchamber, turned to face us, cleared his throat, and grasped the door handle.
"This is modern art—no, Greek-style art. The title is Love and War!"
The door swung open, revealing the artwork.
Inside Hephaestus's bedchamber lay two figures tangled on the bed, as though they had just finished an intimate encounter—Aphrodite and Ares.
"N-no!"
"Hephaestus...?! You said you were going to Lemnos..."
The naked adulterers tried to flee the moment they saw him, but failed. A fine bronze net had been spread around their bodies.
"W-what is this?! Why won't it break?!"
"Ugh..."
"What do you think of my artwork? Is it not worthy of surpassing Apollo?"
Everyone stood speechless, staring in stunned silence. The bronze net that even Ares's immense strength could not easily tear was impressive enough, but it was the sight of Aphrodite beneath it that truly captivated them. The goddess of beauty, entwined naked with the god of war—her flawless, supple skin, the desperate thrashing to escape the net, the flushed face burning with shame and guilt at being exposed in adultery before so many gods, the frantic hands trying to cover her breasts and lower body without meeting anyone's eyes. All of it only emphasized her absolute beauty.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
Following the sudden applause, I saw Apollo clapping blankly, golden ichor streaming from his nose. Unlike mortals, we gods do not bleed when excited, so this could only mean his artistic sensibilities had been shattered, dealing a severe blow to his divinity.
"I concede, Hephaestus. I can never match your art."
"Hmm. With effort, you could still reach that level."
Watching the former god of art wipe his nose while unable to tear his eyes from Aphrodite's form, I felt a headache coming on.
"Haah... This is insane..."
The other gods finally regained their senses and began offering their own comments.
"Did Lady Hera not say that adultery must stop?"
"They already have Harmonia, yet still..."
"A spectacle truly worthy of an art festival."
"Zeus, what do you think?"
"They should at least be a little more discreet. Tsk tsk."
Apollo, still clapping in a daze, spoke to Hermes, who looked equally frozen. Neither god could look away from Aphrodite.
"Hermes, are you jealous of Hephaestus? Or of Ares?"
"What are you saying, Lord Apollo?"
"I mean, are you jealous of the cuckolded Hephaestus, or the humiliated Ares?"
"Obviously both. That net looks far stronger—I wish I could be trapped in it forever..."
Listening to their exchange only worsened my headache. Did the mortals who worshipped us in the underworld know this side of the gods?
"Ugh... How utterly shameless...!"
Styx's face looked ready to burst beside me. She suddenly fled the scene, her presence vanishing toward the underworld.
"Ares, Aphrodite. You have already borne Harmonia. Is it not time to stop this?"
Zeus sighed, pressing a hand to his forehead. Poseidon, who had also discovered the affair with a deeply displeased expression, addressed the blacksmith god, though he too seemed reluctant about the whole matter.
"Hephaestus, I will personally ensure they offer proper apologies and compensation. Release them now..."
Even as he spoke, Poseidon could not tear his gaze from Aphrodite's body.
"Yes... Very well. I shall stop here."
Hephaestus approached the bed and manipulated several mechanisms, causing the net to loosen naturally. He had apparently spread the false rumor of his departure to Lemnos, predicting that Aphrodite would summon Ares in his absence. No wonder the Olympians had been so surprised to see him.
Once freed, Ares fled to Thrace, where his temple stood. Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love, departed for Cyprus. There was a spring on Cyprus that could restore a woman's virginity if she bathed in it—she was likely going to recover her maidenhood. But what was the point, when it would be lost again the moment she lay with another man?
Following Hephaestus to his forge as promised to inspect my weapons, I watched him examine my bident with his back turned before speaking.
"Hephaestus, if you pull another stunt like today, will Aphrodite not dislike you even more?"
The blacksmith god's back trembled.
"I have... already half given up. Sob..."
"Then why not seek out another goddess? Speak with Zeus and..."
At this point, the marriage was essentially over. Even though Zeus himself had presided over the wedding, surely today's events would have changed his mind? If both parties wanted a divorce, it should be possible. If the problem was other gods fighting over Aphrodite, I could intervene directly...
"But half of me still... sees Aphrodite's beautiful form in my mind...!"
Ah.
"I want to win Aphrodite's love somehow, but I can already see that it is impossible! Aphrodite has already gone to Ares and even borne Harmonia! All I can do is be rejected for my ugly face and plot this kind of revenge...!"
This was truly beyond me. Perhaps a three-way conversation was needed.
"Khh... Someday I will burn Ares's face with flames!"
This was going to turn into a complete mess over a woman. I could not stand by any longer.
"Come with me to meet Aphrodite."
"Pardon?"
"Let us hear exactly what she finds so lacking in you that she keeps meeting Ares."
A frank conversation was the only way forward.
Once the weapon inspection was complete, Hephaestus and I headed straight for Cyprus. After sending word through one of Aphrodite's nymph attendants that we were waiting, the goddess of beauty soon appeared, freshly bathed. I signaled Hephaestus, and he began hesitantly.
"What exactly is it that displeases you so much that you keep calling for Ares?"
"Hmph... You ask what displeases me?"
Aphrodite's face twisted.
"Of course it is this marriage itself. From the beginning, I wanted to marry someone I loved!"
"You married me according to Father's will, yet you still behave this way even after bearing Ares's child. Is that not too much?"
"You are the one who is always buried in your forge and rarely comes home! How could anyone develop feelings under those circumstances?"
Aphrodite was not blameless, but still, a husband should pay some attention to his wife.
"I am the god of blacksmiths. There is nothing I can do about that. But since marrying you, I have been trying my best."
"Hmph..."
Aphrodite glanced away, as though struck by the remark. Though the blacksmith god was constantly busy fulfilling requests from the Olympians, he had apparently made efforts to spend time at home after marrying the goddess of beauty. It simply had not been enough for her.
"But how can you refuse to acknowledge me even at official gatherings like Olympus meetings? I asked you last time, yet you did not even pretend to listen! Everyone already knows about you and Ares, so why do you do it on purpose?"
Both had accumulated many grievances, and their words grew harsher despite my presence. Still, this was an issue that needed to be addressed.
"You only seek me out when you need to maintain appearances. That attitude of yours is proof that you married me only for my looks, is it not?"
"What?! Have you said everything you wanted? Then what about you, only asking me to make things when you need them...!"
Their emotions escalated, and their divine powers began to clash. Cyprus trembled, and Aphrodite's alluring aura spread in all directions. Flames rose from beneath Hephaestus's feet, heating the air. If this continued, the island's life would perish—I had to intervene.
"Enough. Stop there."
I stepped between them, drawing their attention. Amid the smell of burning and seductive fragrance, the cold aura of the underworld scattered everything.
"Hephaestus, no matter how busy your blacksmith work is, you should pay more attention to your wife. If other gods complain to you, tell them to come to the underworld."
"Yes... I understand."
Hephaestus calmed himself and stepped back. Next was the goddess of beauty, who wore a venomous expression. Sighing, I placed a hand on Aphrodite's shoulder and met her eyes.
"Aphrodite, are you not the goddess of love? Yet you cannot even grant a simple request from a man who yearns for your love? Even after you brought another man into your bed and bore his child, the god who still loves you is standing right here—Hephaestus."
"That is... I..."
Aphrodite tried to retreat, but this needed to be said clearly if their conflict was to lessen even a little.
"I cannot force love upon the goddess of love, but if you are married, at least try to act like a couple at official gatherings."
"Ugh... Yes... I understand..."
For some reason, with tears welling in her eyes, Aphrodite hurried away, her face flushed. Thinking things might improve now that we had spoken properly, I turned my head—only to see...
"Sob..."
Hephaestus was weeping with a more sorrowful expression than ever before.
"As I thought... In this world, looks are everything. Father Zeus..."