The Tale of Hephaestus (1)
A while ago, after finally wrapping up the mess left behind by King Oedipus’s rampage in Thebes… I was busy bestowing my divine power upon those who had newly become my priests.
“May the blessing of Hades rest upon you…”
“O Guardian God of Thebes…”
Even though my temple had nearly been destroyed by Oedipus, unlike Dionysus who had only sent his divine beast, the fact that I had descended in person seemed to have solidified their faith. Was that why?
“They say Dionysus only sent his divine beast, but the Lord of the Underworld came himself!”
“There are almost no people in Thebes who aren’t devotees of his now.”
“Of course. How many people living in Thebes haven’t received Pluto’s grace?”
Thanks to that, the priests at the temple were run off their feet. They had to manage the daily visitors, screen those who wished to become new priests… Even Penedeia, who had stepped down from her previous role to become the new high priestess, was complaining about how exhausted she was.
But among the newly appointed priests… I spotted a very familiar face.
“Hehe… Handsome and all-powerful Lord Hades…”
Bright, pale turquoise hair… A water nymph, a Naiad. Wasn’t that Mente, the one I had met near Mount Etna last time? She was offering her prayers to me.
Surprisingly, her faith was so genuine that it was strong enough for me to descend into her body.
“Mente, how did you become my priest?”
“Hyaah! Lord Hades!”
When I quietly spoke into her mind, Mente jumped in fright. The other devotees turned their gazes toward her at the reaction.
“Did Lord Hades speak to her?”
“As expected of the one who created mint…”
“She must be favored by Lord Hades…”
The Naiad and I moved to a quiet spot. She clasped her hands together again, beaming brightly.
“I heard there was a temple of Lord Hades in Thebes, so I came all the way here!”
“Aren’t you a nymph from near Mount Etna? How did you get all the way to Thebes…”
Nymphs were spirits tied to nature or objects. If the place they were bound to was destroyed, the nymph would die as well. That was why most nymphs never strayed far from their anchored location…
“Because I wanted to serve Lord Hades! Even though the goddesses are there, at least on the surface world…”
Was this because I had spread mint far and wide and made it my symbol? That was only fair compensation. It was the treatment she deserved.
“If you don’t protect your source, you could suddenly find yourself in danger at any moment. Even so…”
“I’m fine! I asked the other nymphs to look after it for me!”
Even if she had asked friendly nymphs living nearby to guard her source, wasn’t that the equivalent of a human leaving their heart behind and traveling far away? I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t even speak, but Mente smiled innocently and continued.
“Umm… I heard that Lord Hades sometimes descends into the bodies of his priests…”
“That’s true, but…?”
“Then if you descend into my body, I would become one with Lord Hades… Kyaaah!”
For a moment, I saw a fragment of Zeus in Mente’s expression. As expected of a Greek nymph, her head was a little off too…
“Next time you descend, please use my body…!”
Wasn’t she scared of me…? Other nymphs, and even the gods, trembled when they saw me… Though now that I thought about it, when I revealed my identity on Mount Etna, she had asked to spend time with me as a reward…
Maybe it was because of the rumors that had spread through Thebes about the merciful god, Pluto. Well, she was kind of cute, so I’d let it slide.
I severed my connection to the surface world and took a moment to handle some administrative work. I had already sent word to Olympus that Gaia had corrupted Thebes’ hero, King Oedipus. I explained to Dionysus that it had happened because of Gaia… The patrols of Tartarus and Mount Etna had been completed last time. There were no more serious criminals that even Minos found difficult to judge…
Could I finally get a little rest?
Just as I leaned back comfortably on my throne with that thought, the Goddess of Oaths opened the door and entered.
“Hades. Are you free right now?”
Lady Styx?
“What is it? Did Thanatos run away again or something…”
“Hephaestus has come to the entrance of the Underworld. He says he wants to consult with you.”
“Hephaestus? Let him in for now.”
What could Hephaestus possibly want to consult me about? Was there a human soul among the dead that he was fond of?
After waiting a short while, the honest-faced, lame god Hephaestus entered. As the greatest blacksmith god in the world, his expression was unusually gloomy.
“Uncle Hades, thank you for seeing me when you must be so busy.”
“For the one who made my Bident, you are always welcome in the Underworld.”
I called a servant and offered him Nectar. He emptied the golden cup in one gulp and spoke to me.
“Aphrodite is so cold to me… Uncle…”
“Ah…”
Aphrodite was famous for having relationships with other male gods even after marrying Hephaestus. He must already know that fact…
“I tried so hard to win the heart of the Goddess of Beauty, but she doesn’t even show me any interest. Would you believe that we haven’t shared a bed even once since we got married?”
Internal thought: Not even once?
Not even once? Good gods… It was that bad…?
I knew he had given her the Kestos Himas, the magic girdle of fascination, and made every single item she had ever asked for.
“But why are you asking me for advice? There are plenty of popular male gods like Apollo and others.”
Hephaestus glanced at Lady Styx beside me and said,
“Well… Uncle, even though you’re busy day and night, don’t you enjoy great popularity among the goddesses?”
“Uh…”
“There are many goddesses on Olympus who want to be held by Uncle Hades at least once.”
Was he talking about all those nieces and granddaughters, those children? Though I supposed the position of one of the Three Chief Gods did attract quite a few goddesses.
“And above all…!”
“...?”
“There’s a rumor that my wife even came down to the Underworld because she wanted to spend one night with Uncle… Of course, I trust you, Uncle, but…”
Hephaestus’s muscular body and round eyes drooped with melancholy. Don’t worry… Unlike a certain King of the Gods, I don’t commit adultery…!
“Right. Thank you for trusting me. I swear on the River Styx that I have not had any relations with your wife.”
“I knew you would say that! As expected of the famous iron wall of the divine realm…”
Iron wall…? I glared at him with a dumbfounded expression, and he cleared his throat and lowered his head.
“Ahem. I’m sorry. The noble and lofty Lord of the Underworld…”
“Stop saying strange things. Anyway, you want advice, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
Why did Aphrodite dislike Hephaestus? First of all… it was probably his appearance. When Hephaestus was born to Hera and Zeus, he came out as an ugly, lame child. Disappointed, Hera had thrown him down from the clouds. After falling for nine days and crashing onto Lemnos Island, he later took revenge on Hera and reconciled with her… But compared to the other impressive gods, his looks simply couldn’t compete.
As I quietly organized my thoughts, disappointment gradually filled Hephaestus’s eyes. His head drooped lower and lower until he looked like he might attain the divinity of melancholy itself.
Even so, seeing him so utterly deflated, I felt like I had to say something… Ah…!
One idea suddenly came to mind.
“No… Um… What if you tried a different approach?”
“Yes…?”
“Instead, make Aphrodite regret neglecting you and become obsessed with you…”
Hephaestus loved his wife even though their relationship was bad. That was why he made everything she asked for and even gave her the Kestos Himas.
“So from now on, if you start refusing Aphrodite’s requests and act indifferent toward her…!”
At that point, Lady Styx, who had been quietly listening beside me, cut me off.
“Hades! That won’t work!”
“Then, Lady Styx, do you have another way to make Hephaestus’s marriage harmonious?”
“Um… That method definitely won’t work! If you do that, won’t the Goddess Aphrodite just enjoy it even more and go meet even more male gods?”
Enjoy it? What kind of… Even if they were a married couple, could she really be that heartless…?
Lady Styx stepped forward with a confident expression. Since she was a goddess like Aphrodite, unlike me, she might have a better idea.
“Since Lady Hera is the Goddess of Marriage, why don’t you ask her for help?”
“Lady Styx… I already tried that, but it was completely useless.”
“Then how about making an object that can move a goddess’s heart, like the Kestos Himas…”
“I already have dozens of similar items in my forge…”
“Th-then…!”
“No. You don’t need to say anything more. There’s no way…”
The honest blacksmith god shed sorrowful tears. Despite holding the position of one of the Twelve Olympians and the greatest fame as the world’s best blacksmith,
“It seems my ugly face… and my limp… aren’t to Aphrodite’s taste…”
“Ah…”
Right now, he was nothing more than a pitiful man who couldn’t win the heart of the one goddess he loved. Lady Styx and I couldn’t find any words to say.