Sisyphus... The Story of Thanatos (3)
Ares took one look at the awakened Thanatos and immediately raced down to the Underworld, blurting out the entire story to me.
“Uncle Hades! Do you know what the god Thanatos has been doing?!”
“...?”
Ares, who had clearly been hoping for an epic clash with whatever monstrous being had overpowered Thanatos, now looked like a child throwing a tantrum after someone stole his favorite toy. Once the gods of the Underworld fully understood the situation, they erupted in outrage.
“What? You mean this whole disaster happened because—”
“Who the hell is this Sisyphus person?”
“Damn it all! You’re telling me Thanatos was asleep?!”
“Lord Ares, you aren’t by any chance—”
“I swear on the River Styx, every word this Ares has spoken is the absolute truth!!!”
And so a group of Underworld gods launched a late ambush on Thanatos while he was escorting Sisyphus. To be precise, they lay in wait at the entrance and trussed him up with ropes.
“Ugh! Hypnos, what are you doing?! Styx, you too!”
“Do you have any idea how hard we’ve been working while you abandoned your duties to take a nap?!”
“According to Ares, you were even snoring!”
Bound hand and foot, Thanatos was dragged forward like a criminal under the watchful eyes of the two gods. Sisyphus, on the other hand, was so stunned by the unprecedented scene that he simply walked in under his own power.
“Wait… huh…? Ah…?”
The only one who greeted the duty-shirking Thanatos was the ferryman of the River Acheron.
“Ugh… I finally got a little rest, and now I have to go back to rowing again…”
Only Charon.
And so both Thanatos and Sisyphus were brought before me, Hades. Thanatos was wrapped head to toe in ropes thanks to the furious deities, while Sisyphus knelt in a daze, completely out of his mind.
“Are you serious? All this just because I slept for a few days? I only planned to rest for one day!”
Thanatos shouted boldly beside the half-catatonic Sisyphus. My head throbbed as if I had swallowed Metis the way Zeus once had.
“Harvesting souls must have been… rather exhausting for you, Thanatos.”
“Exactly! You understand my pain, Hades! I really only meant to sleep for a very—”
The other gods lined up beside me immediately exploded.
First came Hypnos, who had been roaming the world forcing the not-yet-doomed into slumber.
“What?! A very short time? How dare you spout such rubbish, Thanatos!”
Then Moros and Keres, whose domains overlapped with death and who had also been suffering across the mortal realm.
“Thanatos! How can you even say that?!”
“You broke the cycle of the world for days and you call it ‘a short time’?!”
Morpheus, who had been appearing in human dreams night and day to plant suggestions that no lives should be taken for the time being, added his own accusation.
“Lord Hades! Thanatos must have been conspiring with the God of Time, Cronus! There is no other way a ‘short nap’ could have lasted so long…!”
Countless other gods and officials joined in, loudly condemning Thanatos’s misconduct. Sisyphus, whom Zeus had already branded a felon, was completely forgotten.
“You… you damn loud-mouthed bastards! Try doing my job yourselves!”
“What?! I’m busy every single day handing out sleep to mortals!”
“Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to dispatch my avatars constantly to weave dreams?!”
“You think we don’t suffer?!”
“Don’t tell me you actually believed you were the only one working down here?!”
Exactly. Every god in the Underworld is constantly working themselves to the bone. Even I, the one with ultimate authority, only rarely find any breathing room. Thanatos and Charon are certainly the busiest, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are lounging about. Just look at Morpheus and Hypnos—they must control their avatars like mad every single night. With Thanatos abandoning his post for several days, the other Underworld gods had been forced to handle dozens of times their usual workload.
I raised my hand to silence them all and spoke. It was time to decide Thanatos’s punishment for using Sisyphus to shirk his duties.
“First… we must determine an appropriate penalty…”
“Tartarus!” Hypnos bellowed, veins standing out on his neck. The god who distributed sleep had not slept a wink himself for days.
“Sending him straight to Tartarus doesn’t sound half bad.”
“Indeed. The crime of disrupting the cycle is severe. Hades will render a just—”
Keres and Moros spoke, dark circles like storm clouds hanging beneath their eyes. They had practically lived in the mortal world for days, frantically reaping souls.
“Simply sending him to Tartarus seems too light. How about the eternal punishment of pushing a boulder up a mountain that keeps rolling back down?”
“Morpheus! Excellent suggestion!”
“As expected of the God of Dreams—your imagination is truly rich!”
“Tartarus! Send him to Tartarus!”
Morpheus’s eyes gleamed wildly as he spouted his deranged ideas. It seemed he harbored quite the grudge for being denied rest while Thanatos had slumbered.
“You insane fools! If you were in my position, do you really think you wouldn’t rest?!”
“Better than someone who dives straight into sleep the moment an opportunity appears…”
“Thanatos! Stop making excuses and accept your punishment!”
“Thanatos to Tartarus!”
As the Underworld threatened to descend into complete chaos, I pinched the bridge of my nose and quietly murmured, infusing my voice with divine power so every god could hear.
“So, assuming we send Thanatos to Tartarus, who exactly will harvest the souls from now on?”
The room fell instantly silent. The gods looked at one another, clearly having never considered that particular problem.
“Well… isn’t death simply a deeper form of sleep? So perhaps Hypnos could…”
“Keres, your domain of catastrophic death would be more suitable…”
“Hmm. That’s something we should consider carefully…”
Just as I expected. None of them wanted their own workloads to increase any further. Now I could finally speak my mind.
“Thanatos cannot be sent to Tartarus… Any deity who objects may consider themselves volunteered to take over soul-harvesting duties instead.”
“Ahem. Well then. You’re fortunate, Thanatos.”
“Can’t be helped…”
“Sigh… To think a wrongdoer escapes proper punishment. The Goddess of Justice Dike would surely lament this state of affairs…”
“Hmph…!”
“Instead, God Thanatos will perform additional hard labor for several days. He will also be barred from receiving human offerings during that time…”
Considering Thanatos’s already crushing workload as the busiest god in the Underworld and the dignity of an ancient deity who had existed since the beginning of time, layering on a few extra penalties seemed appropriate.
The ropes binding him were removed. Thanatos stood, his face twisting as he realized his days of vacation were officially over.
“Furthermore, since I have not been able to give all of you the attention you deserve, I will periodically request support from Olympus to—”
“But Hades, what about this human?”
Goddess Styx, who had been quietly frowning, pointed at Sisyphus.
I turned my gaze to Sisyphus—the very human Zeus had dispatched Thanatos to capture. Sweat drenched his forehead and his eyes looked half-mad.
“Let us examine your crimes…”
“Huk…”
“Do not be so afraid. A petition has been submitted in your defense.”
I reached out and picked up the parchment scroll delivered by the rainbow goddess Iris. It was the petition the river god Asopus had asked to be forwarded to the Underworld some time ago. I handed the scroll to Minos, one of the three judges of the dead standing nearby. He slowly unrolled it and began to read aloud.
Upon hearing that the human Sisyphus has been captured, this petition is respectfully offered to the Lord of the Underworld.
My beloved daughter Aegina suffered at the hands of Zeus. Sisyphus revealed this injustice to me, for which I am eternally grateful.
I fear Zeus will seek revenge upon him for exposing the truth.
Therefore, I humbly beg for a measure of leniency and mercy on his behalf.
— Asopus, God of the River
When Minos finished reading, the faces of the nearby gods turned ashen.
“Haah… Lord Zeus again…?”
“This time even a river god was victimized…”
“It could be fabricated. Should we not have Goddess Mnemosyne verify the memories?”
I nodded. Soon the Goddess of Memory read Sisyphus’s recollections and conveyed them directly to me.
“I shall now deliver my judgment.”
Sisyphus looked up at me with a faint spark of hope in his eyes.
“The crimes of ambushing the God of Death, Thanatos, and thereby disrupting the cycle of the world are undeniably grave.”
However…
“The reason Thanatos came for you before your allotted time was not your fault.”
To be exact, it was Zeus who had flown into a rage after his violation was discovered and sent Thanatos in retaliation. That said, Sisyphus was not entirely blameless. He had apparently planned to arouse my sympathy by claiming his wife had failed to perform the proper funeral rites. But Mnemosyne had already scanned his mind and reported the truth to me.
It is never easy for a mortal to deceive a god.
“Your intention to exploit the funeral rites to gain my sympathy was indeed wrong… yet your reputation among the people of Corinth is quite favorable. You are worthy of being called a wise ruler. As for the truly serious offense…”
“…Ahem!”
I shot a pointed glance at the god who was holding his head high without shame. Thanatos, who had enjoyed a comfortable rest in the mortal world for several days, met my eyes, cleared his throat, and quickly looked away.
“…In the first place, had God Thanatos held no intention of using you, and had you been properly brought to the Underworld, Minos here would have issued a verdict of innocence.”
“Th-then…!”
Minos smiled awkwardly beside me. “W-well, if it involves Lord Zeus, it is somewhat… ahem…” I ignored him.
“Therefore, I shall judge your sins again when you have lived out your natural lifespan in the mortal realm and arrive in the Underworld.”
“…! Thank you! Thank you, Pluto!”
Sisyphus prostrated himself, face filled with relief, repeatedly offering gratitude. Of course, he would forget every memory of the Underworld.
I nodded to the Goddess of Forgetfulness, Lethe. She stepped behind Sisyphus, and the power of oblivion bloomed. He would lose all recollection of what he had experienced here.
“Huh…? Uhh…”
“Oh, and one more thing—when that time comes, I will also charge you with the crime of imprisoning the collapsed Thanatos.”
I finished speaking as Sisyphus’s eyes grew cloudy and his memories faded. While it was true that Thanatos had deliberately used him, the man still needed separate punishment for binding a god in his palace basement. When Sisyphus’s lifespan finally ended and he returned… he would likely spend decades—perhaps centuries—laboring in the outer regions of the Underworld alongside Phaethon.
“Morpheus, send a messenger to Olympus and have Iris summoned to the Underworld.”
“Yes? The rainbow goddess Iris, for what reason…”
What? There’s a serious criminal so send Thanatos?
“I will go protest to Zeus myself.”
As if I would let this slide.