A New Beginning (30)
The next day, I barely pulled myself together and contacted the underboss. "Could you also send over the organizational chart?" —GB(37.9)
The underboss caught on immediately, as if he wasn't new to corporate life, and forwarded the existing chart with X marks. Two section chiefs, five deputy managers, and five regular employees. In a pyramid structure, shouldn't the entire line have been wiped out? Even under the section chief in Itaewon, one deputy and three employees had been crossed off.
When I asked the underboss about it, Director Jo answered instead. "We took out the section-chief and deputy-manager levels together. Among the regular employees, those connected to the higher-ups were arrested without even knowing why they were being picked up." —Hamo-hamo(37.0)
"The employees who weren't tied to the upper ranks were left alone."
"And the Itaewon line was requested by the section chief himself. He said they couldn't be controlled." —Hamo-hamo(37.0)
I was growing frightened. Of this world. Then the underboss made a suggestion. Let's stop the retail side, he said. The organization had grown too large to handle things in gram units anymore. When I didn't reply, he said he would send over a proposal. Sorry, but right now the words aren't even registering.
"Maha Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva practicing deep Prajna Paramita clearly saw the five aggregates as empty and thereby transcended all suffering and distress~"
Where am I? I've come to Donghaksa Temple near the welfare center. From a distance I can hear the sound of sutra chanting; there must be some event today.
The day after that incident, I met Miju. She looked worried, her eyes filled with concern as she watched me. I smiled and told her not to worry, but it didn't work. Her gaze pressed me to talk if something was bothering me. But how could I say it? Because of me, people were being arrested… And right now I'm Eunsu. Eunsu's worries are only about what identity to launder into next. Since I stayed silent, she suggested we go to a temple. A temple? I asked, startled. She said that whenever she had worries or couldn't clear her head, going to a temple to bow and pray didn't solve anything, but it always lightened her heart. There was a place her parents used to take her when she was young; she wanted to go together and see the monk again after so long. Since I had nothing to lose—and because I wanted to be an obedient boyfriend—I agreed.
She confidently rented a car through a platform app, picked it up at a nearby platform-only parking lot, and started driving. I must have found a good girlfriend. Where else would I find someone this considerate? Five minutes later, I was the one driving. She wasn't very good at it. Her kindness made me smile. It was the first time I'd smiled since hearing that story yesterday.
We met in Noryangjin and drove three hours to Donghaksa Temple. After parking at the entrance lot and walking up, we passed restaurants and taverns catering to hikers. A little farther along was a sign explaining the temple. Donghaksa was a temple in Banpo-myeon, Gongju-si, Chungcheongnam-do, nestled against Gyeryongsan Mountain. It had opened in 1860. The sign mentioned some great monk who had trained there, but none of it sank in.
Following the path upward, the shallow valley and green forest welcomed us even though winter was approaching and the water was low. Miju seemed to have been here more than once or twice; instead of heading for the main hall or the great hall, she took the paved road and kept climbing. After about twenty minutes on the paved road, a hiking trail appeared. She pointed to it. When I followed, I found a traditional Korean house arranged in a U-shape with three buildings.
"Monk~" she called, and a man who looked to be somewhere between middle-aged and elderly stepped out. The moment our eyes met, I froze. That man was a master. He wasn't a civilian. In that instant, my Mexico PTSD flared up.
"Oh-ho?"
Damn it. That gaze was the same one the eldest of the Trio brothers wore when he spotted prey. Pull yourself together. I wonder if the Trio brothers are doing all right.
"Who is this?"
"Ah, Monk, this is my boyfriend. You're the first person I'm introducing him to—even before my parents. Hehe."
"I see. But what a shame~ You should have called ahead. I have nothing prepared."
"It's fine. We just came to pay our respects and pray for someone. Oppa said he's been having a hard time lately, and this was the only place that came to mind."
The monk's eyes curved into crescent moons, as if she were his granddaughter. "You've come well. Let's go inside."
He went in first, telling Miju and me to greet the Buddha, then stepped outside to make a phone call. Something about a temple stay—I didn't catch the details. Miju and I bowed reverently to the Buddha and offered our prayers. I had no thoughts at all. I simply followed her lead and sat there blankly.
The monk returned and called out. "Miju, come here for a moment."
"How many days are you planning to stay?"
"We're just here to say hello. I have to go to school tomorrow."
"Haha. Leave that fellow behind and go. His mind has already left his body. If he goes out, he'll cause trouble."
?? Monk, isn't this our first meeting?
Miju looked at me. I didn't want to stay, but it felt like I'd get hit if I did. I nodded. The monk showed me to a room.
"Use that room."
Questions were not permitted. How could they be so alike? I unpacked, and in the afternoon I saw Miju off. Fortunately, she didn't take the car. I had been worried, but a sightseeing bus heading to Seoul happened to be leaving, and the monk arranged a seat for me. I contacted the rental company and returned the car remotely. At first they refused, but when I offered 100,000 won they agreed. Slaves to money, the lot of them.
On the way back up to the hermitage, I was ambushed for the first time in a long while. Shit… Old habits die hard. I counterattacked without thinking.
"As expected. Tsk tsk. Hiding must have been exhausting."
And so it began—the conversation of bodies.
"How is it that your movements resemble those from the north…"
No, I learned them in South America.
"That killing intent… How are you supposed to live a normal life with that?"
That's because I was taught to kill. Yet I've lived normally, haven't I? I even attended an academy and met Miju.
We sparred for about five minutes. After taking several hits, my pride flared and I decided to get serious—only for the monk to say, "My bones are aching. Come on up."
The monk had surrendered. Like Sun Wukong caught by the Tang monk, I couldn't talk back and simply followed him up.
"There's a bathroom next to that room. The boiler's on, so wash up and come to the main hall."
"Yes."
I took off my sweat-soaked clothes, showered, and—seeing a monk's robe nearby—put it on, assuming that was the instruction. I went to the main hall. Sitting before the Buddha statue, the monk looked like an enlightened high priest. Not the thug who had traded punches with me thirty minutes earlier.
"Sit."
I sat on the cushion beside him.
"Don't think about anything. If that doesn't work, focus on just one thing."
Like someone under hypnosis, I did as he said. But no matter what, thoughts kept rising. Even when I tried to concentrate on only one thing, other thoughts kept coming, one after another. Especially when I thought of the people who had suffered because of me, the pain was unbearable.
Thwack!
I was struck with the bamboo staff. It didn't hurt, but somehow it felt refreshing.
"Go to your room and sleep."
That night, for once, I slept without dreaming and woke up in the morning.
The next morning, for some reason I thought of Cancun. As soon as I got up, I began practicing the eighteen movements. Linking forms 2-7 and 8-1, plus the feints I'd learned while getting beaten.
"So that's it."
The monk had appeared at some point and was watching my movements.
"Where did you learn this?"
For some reason, lying to the monk felt like it would be exposed immediately.
"I learned it in South America."
He chuckled. "Let's loosen up our bodies."
I tensed, thinking we were about to spar again, but he turned and started walking along a mountain path. Then he looked back and gestured. Ah, he wanted me to follow. It had been a long time since I'd been this out of breath. I must not have been exercising enough. The monk moved as if using some shrinking-the-earth technique; I couldn't catch up. I followed with nothing but willpower and stubbornness, and before I knew it I had reached the hermitage—though I had only been climbing. What? I only went up, so how am I back here?
When I returned, breakfast had arrived. The main temple must have sent it up. After we ate together, he told me to take care of my work and said he would go down for a while. I found my phone in my bag, asked Miju if she had arrived safely, told the underboss I would review the proposal, and bought myself some time. It was about five pages—not something I could skim. Truthfully, I couldn't focus on it anyway.
Sitting on the wooden porch, staring blankly at the sky and the mountain ridges, the affairs of the world suddenly seemed trivial.
"That's a good posture."
The monk had entered the courtyard without my noticing.
"You're back."
I jumped up to greet him, and he gave me that enlightened smile. It was a smile that carried spiritual energy.
"Zhuangzi spoke of the Way of non-action and naturalness."
Why Zhuangzi all of a sudden? I thought we were at a Buddhist temple. I had expected a talk from the sutras, so I was caught off guard.
"He called nature itself—untouched by human effort—wu wei zi ran. On the other hand, right now you believe you can do everything, don't you?"
"You even believe you can control nature itself with human power."
"Accept it. And within that, practice finding what you truly desire."
"Once you find it, I will send you on your way."