Chapter 186
Chapter 186
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 186
Chapter Title: Episode 61. Life Force (2)
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In front of the sofa where they sat facing each other, the guardian discreetly sheathed his sword and brought out some coffee.
He hadn't noticed it when they met at the entrance, but BM's body was trembling nonstop. From his head to his toes. Even the hand holding the coffee cup.
He looked at BM's arms. Even in the midsummer heat, he was wearing long sleeves and pants.
His complexion was poor, too. He looked utterly exhausted. So Yoo Ji-tae focused on the sound of his heartbeat. Out of the dozen or so heartbeats that usually echoed from BM's body, three or four were missing.
It seemed he had lost something in order to gain something else.
He turned his gaze to Yeoreum. She had quietly come out of the room and was sitting on the sofa in front of the TV when the young chimera cautiously approached her.
"H-Hello..."
It was the chimera speaking. The voice of a young boy who hadn't hit puberty yet.
Yeoreum just stared at it without responding.
"..."
The creature.
Had felt pity while watching the horde of dying ratlings.
Despite their grotesque appearance, it had seen them as pitiful. Unfortunate beings born wrong, destined for death. Perhaps it had seen a reflection of its own situation.
That was the kind of Yeoreum who now had this chimera approaching her without fear.
"M-Mom...?"
"No."
"N-Not...?"
The snow-white boy grinned bashfully and inched closer to Yeoreum. She scowled. Looking like she might smack him if he got any nearer. But just before she reached her limit, the boy stopped.
Then he smiled slowly.
"Heh, hehe..."
Yeoreum glanced at Yoo Ji-tae. Her eyes asking if this kid was really okay. He nodded.
"You. What's your name."
"N-Name?"
"Why's your hair red."
"Red...?"
"Can't you talk properly?"
"M-Mom."
"..."
Yeoreum grimaced, and the boy widened his eyes and tilted his head.
Around then, BM took a sip of his coffee and turned his gaze to the two of them.
Then he watched the child he had created with warm eyes.
"Hey, BM. Can't this kid talk?"
"He's talking, isn't he?"
"He's just saying words, not having a conversation."
"He's still a baby. He was just born."
"When?"
"A week ago."
Yeoreum glared at the boy with a sullen expression. The boy, who had been chuckling "hehe," slowly approached.
"Hey, don't come closer."
"O-Okay..."
"I said don't come."
"Okay..."
Yet he toddled over and naturally snuggled into Yeoreum's arms.
"Huh? Did you not hear me...? Hey. Get off."
"M-Mom..."
Annoyance took over. Yeoreum grabbed the boy's arms and pushed him away, sitting him down beside her. The boy, shoved aside by her immense strength in an instant, slowly chuckled "hehehe" again.
"Why am I your mom, you... little punk."
"M-Mommy...?"
"Don't you have a dad?"
At Yeoreum's question, the boy pondered for a moment before pointing at her.
"You...?"
"I said no! You little... argh, this is driving me crazy."
Whenever she tried to get up because her seat felt uncomfortable, the boy stood up too. He still couldn't control his body well. He wobbled and nearly fell off the sofa, and Yeoreum hurriedly grabbed his clothes.
Grabbing him by the scruff, his upper body flopped out. In that moment, Yeoreum frowned. The child's heart was covered by a thin, strange purple membrane.
"Wh-Where... going..."
She quietly set him down, and the boy reached out with both hands.
"Look, I wanna go to my room. This kid's too young."
"Do whatever."
Yeoreum tried to ignore him and leave, but something felt off, so she stopped in place.
"Don't... go..."
When she turned back. The red-haired boy with red eyes was looking for her like that. What was he looking for? They'd just met—what made him act so close already...?
At that moment, Yeoreum thought a pointless memory had surfaced.
—Hey, where are you going!?
—You're a bad little sister, so I'm leaving.
—Don't go! Come back...!
The memory of the only clan member who had cherished her, her little older sister, flashed through her mind.
Of all things, it was because that kid's hair was red.
If it had been a different color, this thought wouldn't have crossed her mind.
Thinking that, Yeoreum turned her steps around.
She went over and sat next to the boy. He beamed happily and approached her.
"Hey. Don't copy me."
"Don't... copy... me..."
"Stop."
"Sto-op..."
Yeoreum muttered like a sigh.
"Does he act like this 'cause he really has no dad...?"
That's when BM spoke up.
"That child is my son."
Yeoreum pretended not to hear.
The middle-aged man, who had drained his coffee, continued in a very quiet tone.
"More precisely, he's like a son to me. His name is Jeong Tae-baek. I gave him that name. Both his dad and I are from Taebaek in Gangwon Province."
"Was the child's true body born in Arandot?"
"Yes. His father was originally a human who went missing to the otherworld with me during the Babylon Great Disappearance. His mother was a demon from the wingless fire demon clan."
Behind his cracked sunglasses, his eyes gazing at the empty coffee cup were distant and hazy.
"Alright. Let's hear the story."
"I had comrades."
"Comrades?"
"Quite a few. And that child's father was my friend. My one and only friend. We'd lived together for nearly 30 years."
"..."
"One day, in the thick of war, the guy brought back a demon he'd picked up somewhere. Said we shouldn't kill her, let's take her with us. I thought he'd lost his mind."
"Romantic."
"Too romantic. Later, I found out he was dating that fire demon. He tried convincing me she wasn't a bad woman after all, but at first, I got mad, thinking what the hell friends are for. I beat him up."
"..."
"I just couldn't accept it. Dating a demon...? But he insisted it was fine, so I left him alone, and before long, she got pregnant. Mind you, this was in the middle of war. With 15-meter flying monsters overhead. We could barely set up a mat on the dirt floor, and there she was giving birth. I caught that bloody bundle. And I named him. Tae-baek. He wanted to go home to Taebaek. Taebaek. With red hair and red eyes. He looked just like his mother."
"..."
"Up until then, I didn't like that fire demon. Even without wings or horns, I saw her as a devil. My other friends even mocked her for her big butt. And my friend actually bragged about it... The fire demon girl was proud of it too."
"I didn't like her, so even when she fought on our side, I was always wary. Setting things ablaze like a proper demon. She didn't smile much. She was a shady girl all around. But after giving birth, in the middle of that warzone, she looked at her baby and..."
BM hesitated, then lifted his sunglasses.
"She cried..."
"She bawled her eyes out. That's when my worldview shifted a bit. Until then, I thought beings don't change. After that, I realized they can. Maybe because I thought that way. Or maybe people are just capable of change to begin with. Anyway, our relationships changed after that. We all became good friends."
"I had to apologize for tormenting her. In Arandot, you offer alcohol to seek forgiveness, so I got some good stuff and offered it to the demon girl."
"After how badly I'd treated her... she accepted it so easily and drank. By then, it was hard to tell who was the real demon."
BM laughed with a deflated voice.
Yoo Ji-tae listened quietly.
In past regressions. He had once been BM's comrade. And once his enemy. But in no regression had he heard this story.
"Arandot was a hellish world. Some 'madman' was smashing everything to pieces. Many people I knew died. Including my mentor who taught me about chimeras. It was pure hell."
"Miss home?"
"Yes. We swore we'd return no matter what. So at least that young child could live a normal life. So he wouldn't have to go through this shitty hell..."
"Didn't work out, huh."
"No. They all died to that 'madman.' The fire demon girl went first, throwing herself to protect my friend, only to get sliced open by some blade. I tried dragging her barely alive torso back, and what does she say? 'Is my butt okay?' It was a joke, of course. But her butt... her lower half was gone..."
BM couldn't continue.
"...They both died in that fight. All my comrades died. So I tried to die too. What was the point of living? I was ready to let it all go and die... But that damn kid started wailing. I had to live."
"You're practically omniscient, so do you know? How it feels when all your friends—people you've shared every ugly and beautiful moment with—die around you, and you're the only one who has to run?"
Yoo Ji-tae didn't respond.
"Everything in the world felt repulsive... At first, I blamed the enemies. Then I blamed the two for having a kid at a time like that. Then I blamed myself. I lost my mind and wandered..."
"Then the kid died."
BM laughed self-mockingly.
"The kid died. Nothing heroic—just got hit by a passing monster's poison stinger because I was careless. That's when my scattered mind snapped back."
"Fate's a cruel joke. Right after, a dimensional rift opened. I happened to learn how to return. I killed a monster called Abraxas and came back with its power."
In the 3rd and 4th regressions, BM had committed suicide.
That's what was known.
"I rummaged through everything I had, over and over. And I found it. A single strand of the dead kid's hair stuck to my clothes... Red like his mother's."
The truth was different. The chimera engineer who made chimeras from hundreds of human hearts had concluded that ordinary superhuman hearts weren't powerful enough.
So the mad chimera engineer decided to offer his own heart to create the chimera.
And he failed.
"Now there's no one left to drink with even if I wanted to. I can't seek forgiveness from anyone. If I have to keep living, I at least had to forgive myself. But every day, hundreds of times... I can't forgive myself."
He didn't drink anymore.
"That's the kind of guy I am. That's what humanoid chimeras mean to me."
The engineer who had clung to a single miracle finally died then.
There was no miracle there.
"That's how this happened. Tae-baek."
"Yeah...?"
The red eyes turned to them. When they met BM's eyes, the child smiled happily, his eyes lighting up.
A future that shouldn't have changed. Had it changed?
The regressor, who had listened silently until then, looked back and forth between the child and BM. At BM's gaze on the child. And the child's gaze on BM.
Only then did the regressor speak.
"Good story. You've been through a lot."
"Sorry for rambling."
"So what's the reason for coming here? To get an apology or acknowledgment from the guy who criticized you?"
"No. I don't feel anything toward you anymore. At first I was annoyed. Then frustrated. But lying awake at night thinking about it, I felt ashamed."
"Of what."
"That you knew more about chimeras than me means you researched more than I did."
The regressor nodded. After the 4th regression ended. He had researched chimeras over dozens of hazy years of regressions.
"And here I was, slacking off when you offered hard-earned knowledge. I could make excuses. Repeated failures and all. But that's no good. Not for anyone else. Not for anything else. But for me. In this field. I shouldn't have..."
BM laughed self-deprecatingly.
"Couldn't ask for more help. Too ashamed. So I tried alone. With the hint you gave me, I revived the child."
"He's still young and fragile, but from now on, I'll raise him right. Came to tell you that. Sorry for the mess. I was in a rush. Now that you've heard my situation, I'll say one thing and go."
BM pulled a bottle of white liquor from his subspace pocket.
It was the "Arandot Fermented Wine" that Yoo Ji-tae had given him.
"I showed you an ugly side. But thanks to you, I succeeded. So please..."
He uncorked the bottle and poured some into the cap shaped like a cup.
Then he offered it to Yoo Ji-tae.
"Forgive this lazy man."