Chapter 166
Chapter 166
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Translator: Ace
Chapter: 166
Chapter Title: Episode 55. Socks and Hat (2)
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However, the regressor shook off the thought. What was this regret? Memories of past regressions were gone, and what was gone couldn't be changed. Tormenting himself over the unchangeable was foolish.
Perhaps the emotion of regret itself was unpleasant. It clashed with the life he'd lived.
He was not a man who should feel regret.
Was there meaning in apologizing to the bereaved after killing someone? Did calling it revenge justify it? Did regretting murder bring the dead back? To such questions, the regressor could firmly answer no.
Sin was sin, pure and simple. Excuses starting with "I was wronged so much..." were just narratives to justify and prettify crimes.
At least, that's how he'd lived. No rationalization meant no deep pondering.
But now. This trivial emotion.
Dared to challenge the entire history he'd walked.
Regret was a shallow emotion.
If he planned to regret clumsily and cling with lingering attachments, he shouldn't have done it in the first place. And if he already had, regretting or begging forgiveness was cowardly and pathetic.
From the moment he set aside thoughts of unjust fate, he became a sinner. He had to acknowledge the ugliness of his sins and remain one until his dying breath.
So, he let go of thoughts about the unchangeable and focused on what he could change.
Winter was in his arms right now.
And in his arms, the child was calming her sobs.
Even if it stemmed from shallow pretense, he hoped the child wouldn't cry or hurt.
What he'd learned from Bom—with a gentle, slow rhythm. He patted Winter's back.
Tok... Tok... Tok...
Then, the child's unstable heartbeat began to steady little by little. Not because of his patting—the timing was just right.
Winter lifted her face from Yoo Ji-tae's shoulder and stared blankly at his face. Her expression was like a child seeing magic for the first time.
"Feeling better?"
"......"
The child nodded, then suddenly noticed the flush on Yoo Ji-tae's face. Red cheeks he'd never show normally.
Only then did she realize they were inside an ice cave.
Like a house made of gathered frost. Cold seeped in from all sides.
Winter, sweating coldly, placed her tiny hand on his cheek. His usually lukewarm skin felt strangely cold today. The red parts were oddly hot.
Worry clouded the child's tear-streaked face.
"I'm fine, don't worry about it."
"......"
But his breath was visibly white.
In her concern, Winter slyly pressed her cheek to his.
Today, her cheek felt unfamiliar to him.
The warmth transmitted through their skin was unfamiliar.
He checked the time on his pocket watch. A couple of hours after Winter stopped crying. The child had calmed somewhat, breathing evenly in her sleep.
"...It doesn't hurt."
She spoke with a smile, but her scrunched eyes lacked conviction.
Yoo Ji-tae sat silently beside her, waiting for the moment to come, and come again.
For a while, no words passed between them.
"...Ugh."
Soon, the heart pain started again. Winter's brow furrowed.
Yoo Ji-tae knew about molting from Bom's detailed explanation. The pain Winter felt now was her dragon heart twisting and growing her body.
Only if this succeeded would molting truly begin.
"......"
Tears beaded in Winter's eyes like dewdrops, then fell in drops.
He couldn't empathize with her pain. He'd never experienced it.
So even as her head trembled against his arm, he didn't know what to do.
It stirred a strange urgency in his emotions. A frustration-like, inexplicable feeling tightened his chest.
"...Ugh."
Her tiny hand fidgeted helplessly.
As if asking for something to hold, he offered his finger. Winter grasped Yoo Ji-tae's finger.
Sometimes strength gripped her little hand. Then she'd sob. That let him gauge her pain more precisely.
The urgency and frustration grew.
The child hurt more and more. At first just tears. Later, stifled groans—euk, euk—in broken voice. Then even soft wails.
This lasted a full ten hours or so.
Yoo Ji-tae felt his fingertips and toes freezing black. But it stirred no feeling.
If only he could do something.
Nothing came to mind to ease her pain. The regressor lacked wisdom in nursing.
Still, he kept pondering. Yeoreum's voice came to mind—throwing forced jokes during pain.
But he knew no jokes.
He didn't know how to say cheerful things.
His mood grew stuffier.
"Winter."
So his words came from impulse.
Her teary eyes looked up at him.
"If you had a joke you'd like, I mean..."
Having to say something unplanned, his words tangled.
The joke failed. As he fumbled a few lines.
An unexpected reaction came.
His fumbling seemed funny. Tearful Winter giggled.
Strength eased from her hand gripping his finger. Maybe coincidence. But seeing it as a good sign, Yoo Ji-tae decided to keep talking.
"Winter."
"...Yes."
"If you had to part from me."
"......?"
Just those words made her anxious.
"Hypothetical. If."
"...Okay."
"You'd want to follow me, right."
"......"
"Right?"
"...Would Ajusshi?"
"I'd want to go together. But if we had to part. Why do you think you'd want to follow me."
In the 6th regression, what had Winter thought to follow him? Their bond wasn't as good then.
Winter shook her head. Unclear if she couldn't answer or didn't like it.
"...Is Ajusshi a good person?"
Then she asked. He shook his head.
"...Then that's no good."
"Why."
"...It'd be nice if you were a good person."
"I see."
As his words stopped, Winter asked.
"...Can you be a good person?"
"Who knows."
"...Even if I ask?"
"What's a good person."
"...Someone who picks up trash?"
"That much I can do."
"...Someone who feeds cats?"
"That too. What else."
"...Someone who doesn't get mad?"
"Dunno. Gotta get mad when angry."
"......"
"Otherwise people won't know you're mad."
"...Still."
"Still?"
"...Someone who gets less mad."
Winter's eyes bulged a bit.
The regressor didn't know why. But he felt he did.
"Yeah. Got it."
"...And."
"More?"
"...Someone who plays with me."
He knew what this meant. A hint of her selfishness.
"Then I'm already a good person, right?"
"...Huh?"
"I play with you."
"...A lot... plays a lot."
"Yeah. Got it."
Strength left her hand considerably. Talking seemed to help.
To keep the conversation going, he needed to say something else.
"Adults,"
Words spilled out.
"...Yes."
"Did you want to be one?"
"...Yeah."
Winter shook her head.
"Why."
"...Scary."
"Why. Seeing sisters go to school every morning looks tough?"
Winter shook her head. Not that—a different worry clouded her eyes from the pain.
What then scared her. Yoo Ji-tae paused, waiting for her words.
"...If I change."
After long thought, Winter spoke.
"Yeah."
"...Ajusshi."
"Yeah."
"...You won't hate me, right."
Her blue gaze, fixed on his eyes till then, slyly avoided him.
"...If I grow big, and you hate me..."
"No."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. Won't happen."
"......"
"Just grow up healthy."
Only then did anxiety lift from her eyes.
"So. Don't worry about nonsense. Focus on molting."
"...Yes."
"Good girl."
Realizing it ended the talk awkwardly.
Always like this—he couldn't chat long with kids.
"...Good girl."
Winter echoed meaninglessly. Pondering how to continue, he thought of one way.
"Squirrel."
Her drooping eyes snapped open.
"......?"
"......"
"...Yes?"
"Good girl. Squir...rel."
Finally understanding, Winter smiled tiredly.
"...Rat meat."
"Goose."
"...Goose."
"I said it. Goose."
"...Goose."
"......"
"...Hee hee."
"Pillar."
"...Pillar pillar."
"Gazelle."
"...What's that?"
"Exists. Deer-like."
"...How's it cry?"
"Dunno. Moo, moo. Probably."
Winter giggled.
"...Earthworm."
"What? Oh, immigration policy."
"...What's that?"
"Dunno."
"...Squirrel."
"Rat meat."
Goose, pillar pillar, gazelle followed again.
Finally, pondering a Z-word, Winter beamed.
"...Jelly."
Thus, Yoo Ji-tae played endless shiritori with the child.
She giggled often over nothing.
It was good. Even as pain returned, pondering words kept her from crying like before.
If only I'd known sooner. The thought flashed briefly and vanished.
At last, the heart expansion ended.
The dragon heart entered dormancy.
Soon, Winter lost consciousness.
Her body enveloped in blue mana, began to grow.
Polymorph released.
In the underground cave, over 10 meters high.
The Blue Dragon hatchling revealed itself.
Tiny horns. Reptilian head. Blue scales. Relatively white belly. Massive wings and tail.
Her true form, first seen by him.
Soon, thick mana flowed out, creating moisture over her body, forming and freezing solid.
Like a giant crystal.
A 6-meter Blue Dragon trapped in transparent ice.
There, her scales began to lift mistily. Skin peeled slowly. Slight blood spread like ink in water. Lifted scales crumbled to mana.
Her molting began in earnest.
"......"
He stood blankly before the ice crystal.
Dragons don't die or become crippled mid-molt. Bom said to relax once this started.
But his unease lingered.
Winter's pained face lingered. Forgetting his fingertips blackened with severe frostbite, he sat before the giant crystal, watching her molt.
Watching the blood flow heightened his senses.
Unlikely, but if her molt went even slightly wrong.
He'd be seriously pissed.
Uncontrolled Blue Dragon mana leaked freely, dispersing over the iceberg zone.
Mana was will's manifestation. Winter's mana, like blood to a toothless tiger, stimulated nearby 'predators'.
Something writhed in the water, raising its head.
Toward a sweet scent never smelled in their lives.
They began to move.