A Fool's Restraint
"…To think you'd have to resort to such cowardly tricks just to hear what's in my heart. You really are a coward."
"……"
"If you got the answer you wanted, then get off me already."
One would think this moment would be awkward for her, but instead Aria pulled my hand away from her waist with a bold, defiant air.
"Don't worry. I'll stay as the woman you love."
She smoothed her radiant platinum hair and gave a faint smirk.
"I'm not cutting my hair. You rather like it long, don't you?"
Had she been growing it out and maintaining it deliberately, all along?
Startled by how completely the atmosphere in the room had shifted in mere moments, I found myself watching Aria—determined to stand before me not as my sister, but as a woman—and a strange kind of agitation welled up inside me.
But every time it did, the image of Lapis flickered across my mind, and I was forced to feel a sharp stab of guilt alongside it.
Given the era, polygamy was hardly something to be condemned…
And yet the distance between Lapis and me was, at the very least, ambiguous enough that calling it a purely political match felt like a stretch.
Jolt!
Then the moment my eyes met Aria's, she made a curiously displeased face and reached out with both hands to seize my cheeks.
Squeeze.
At the same time, she guided my head down toward her collarbone.
As if to force everything I had just been picturing of Lapis—her scent, her skin, her warmth, her voice—
…to be erased and covered over by her own.
Still, I tried to exercise some restraint, but it proved futile; I only buried my head deeper and pressed my lips against the nape of her neck.
Aria flinched at the touch, her body shuddering as she strained to hold back her moans—but I wanted nothing so much as to hear that small voice, and so, as though violating the nape of her neck, I let my teeth graze her bare skin.
"…Haa—!"
A shrill, piercing moan that delighted the ear.
Sated, I lifted my head, and there was Aria, face flushed, breathing ragged and uneven, wearing an expression of pure indignation.
She hadn't gotten to set her own pace—she'd simply been dragged along at mine, and clearly that was what displeased her.
"A moment ago you were wavering over thoughts of Lapis, and now you're showing off your talent for putting me in a difficult spot."
Aria turned her head slightly toward the mirror in the corner of the room, studied the kiss mark burned vividly into her skin, then lightly covered it with one hand.
"They say a kiss on the nape is an act of obsession… I suppose even after cowardly eavesdropping on my heart, you were still anxious?"
"I figured you'd go provoke me again—meet some other man or bring him up in conversation, just to get a rise out of me."
At that, Aria burst out laughing, then stepped toward me and flicked her knuckles against my now embarrassingly erect length.
"Back then or now, the only man who has ever touched my skin is you."
Where on earth had she learned to speak in that half-veiled, coaxing tone of hers?
"Anyway, I need to change now, so could you step aside?"
It was a roundabout way of showing me the door, and there was little I could do but quietly turn toward the exit—but the instant my hand found the doorknob, Aria spoke up.
"Well… if you'd rather not remain my little brother, if you'd rather stay by my side as a man, then you're welcome to help me change."
"……"
On the surface it sounded like a seduction, but I suspected this was Aria's own way of urging me to settle my wavering heart once and for all.
In the past, when maintaining bloodlines made close-kin marriage the natural order, the prevailing view had been different. These days, perspectives had shifted somewhat.
Turn your back, unless you've resolved to let Lapis—on whom you keep dwelling—know about this relationship and face it anyway.
To be honest… I wanted a little more time.
Or rather, I suppose I needed time to brace my heart.
But that was hardly a stance I could take—not after I had so cowardly exploited her servitude to pry into her innermost thoughts.
And so, rather than retreating a step, I forced myself to take one forward: I let go of the doorknob and turned my back on the door.
Aria, watching me, simply gazed up at me in silence from where she sat on the edge of the bed.
Only now did I notice both her hands clenched tight around the bedsheet.
Proof, I suppose, of just how nervous she'd been—waiting to see what choice I would make.
But pretending not to notice, out of respect for her wish to always appear as a proud, untouchable princess in my presence, I reached out.
Pop.
One by one, the buttons of her tight uniform gave way, and the bosom that had been pressed and confined within gradually swelled upward—until at last the brassiere could no longer hold and sprang free with a snap.
"You're not staring a little too frankly, are you?"
Aria substituted her arm for the slipping brassiere, shielding the region around her nipples.
Perhaps because her tension had left her body slick with sweat, the warm scent of her skin billowed up thick and heavy, tickling the tip of my nose.
"Open the wardrobe. Third one from the left."
"……"
"What are you waiting for? Weren't you here to attend to me?"
At her words, I swallowed hard and made my way over.
Behind me came the rustle of Aria shrugging the rest of the uniform jacket completely off.
Why did such an utterly trivial sound make my nerves coil so tight?
Before long I opened the wardrobe and drew out her everyday wear: a pale blush-pink dress, and a cape coat to layer over it.
The moment I turned back, Aria had rotated her body away from me, presenting her bare back.
Granted, when it came to dresses, it was easier to start at the legs and work upward rather than from the top down.
"……"
Even from behind, her abundant chest pushed out faintly past her sides, offering a glimpse of that invitingly soft skin.
Before I knew it, my hands had clenched tight around the clothes I was holding for her.
But all I felt was the softness of the fabric, similar to the skin it would drape—not the weight and satisfaction I truly craned for—and the utter absence of it left me swallowing again against a maddening thirst.
Every part of me ached to quench it at once, but I pressed the urge down, gathered the hem of the dress, opened it wide, and eased it over her from head to toe, dressing her carefully all the way down to her feet.
"Thank you."
I meant to reply with a simple Of course.
But somehow the moment for conversation had already passed, and no voice came out.
Watching me struggle, Aria curled the corners of her mouth into a faint smirk—and then hiked up the hem of her dress.
She was wearing her uniform trousers, so nothing of her lower body was fully exposed, but—was this her way of asking me to take those off myself as well?
From that moment a hundred thoughts crowded my head, yet my hands, heedless of the turmoil in my mind, took hold of her waistband and slowly drew it downward.
"……"
The first thing revealed as the trousers slid down was her adorable, softly hollowed navel.
For no good reason I wanted to poke it, just once—but self-consciousness held me back, and instead I quietly ran my thumb, stretched out with diligent care, down the smooth line of her stomach, not a trace of excess flesh upon it.
Before long, as the waistband of the trousers began to pass below her hips, Aria let the dress hem fall back down, coyly veiling her lower body.
Naturally.
Yes, that was only natural.
And yet, if this was how it would end, why had she even asked me to attend her in the first place?
My head grew tangled in every possible way, but I tightened my grip and drew her trousers the rest of the way down, sliding them fully off.
Relieved of the burden, Aria smoothed her dress hem neatly and shook out the creases.
"What?"
There was something a little exasperating about the composure with which she said it.
But then again—still needing time to prepare my heart, wanting her to simply grant my every wish was greed on my part.
So I shook my head, set her trousers aside, and turned my back to her.
A peculiar irritation.
A wistfulness tangled up within it.
And beneath both, a faint unease.
Watching Rohen turn his back and walk away, Aria clenched her fist tight around the hem of her dress.
The truth was, if Rohen had shown even a little more greed, she would have pretended to relent and let him have his way.
But the very fact that he had reined himself in was proof that his heart was not yet ready.
And yet—if that was so, why had he pried into her innermost thoughts?
Still the worst.
Still the cowardly little brother, only half of whose blood ran shared with hers.
Gazing bitterly at his retreating back, Aria gently bit her lip.
Honestly, she hadn't particularly wanted to behave this way herself.
Teasing him was fun, sure—but if it all ended with Rohen seeing her as some loose woman, wouldn't that be a loss?
And yet, if not this way—
she simply didn't know how else to hold on to the person she wanted to keep at her side.
From childhood until now, the only thing the girl called Aria had ever been confronted with was human desire.
That was why stoking that desire and packaging herself as the sweet rain that would quench the thirst it stirred had never been difficult…
but honestly, she had no idea how to close the distance through a genuine, two-way exchange of feeling.
Still, maybe that was fine in its own way.
After all, Rohen had said with his own mouth that when he looked at her, he held no preconceptions about the person she was.
Perhaps he would think of her not as a woman who gave herself away cheaply—
but as a woman who simply knew no other way.
'……'
Really, what would it matter if he saw her the first way?
Even her looseness existed nowhere but before Rohen.
Aria was confident she possessed charm enough that the thought would never even cross his mind.
Not excessive self-consciousness, but a clear-eyed, accurate view of herself—that was the right way to call it.
Daughter of the traitor.
Half of her blood diluted, mingled with another line.
But set those aside, and she was a woman with nothing for a man to find fault in—
and to a male, a female he would never, ever hand over to another.
Rising from the bed, Aria watched Rohen give her a casual little wave—see you later—as he opened the door and stepped out. She smirked, took hold of the doorknob, and with her free hand…
Sllk.
Slid the strap of her dress down, baring one side of her chest.
At once she felt a gaze boring into the ample breast that had slipped into view, into the shy nipple caught between her pink areola—and it made her laugh even as a strange thrill coursed through her.
Click.
But rather than savor it, Aria shut the door at once and locked it tight.
Some time passed.
Click-click.
Watching through the door's absence as the handle outside was gripped and turned, Aria finally let her stifled laughter burst free.
"Idiot."
What was the point of getting greedy now, of all times?
Muttering to herself that it was too late, Aria straightened her shoulder strap properly and settled in for her well-deserved rest.