Chapter 1: I'm Not a Crazy Bitch
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 1: I'm Not a Crazy Bitch
Pushing aside the shock of having turned into a woman, I decided to get out of this place first.
“Fuck… Fuck…”
My original body was gone.
“Status Window!!”
I tried to summon the status window in the air, but there was no response.
Just as I thought, I’d lost everything connected to my old body.
I had to start all over again, from the very beginning.
‘It’s fine… I can do this.’
I still can’t forget the faces of those bastards who desecrated and dismembered my corpse.
‘But first, I need a place to live…’
I’ll make a plan, slowly, and then get my revenge. For now, that’s my goal.
Just as my heart was burning with vengeance…
“Hey, who’s there??”
“Huh?”
A middle-aged security guard in a fluorescent safety vest, who had been looking at me on top of a pile of trash, stared with wide, startled eyes.
“Whoa, you scared me!”
“W-Wait a minute…”
How was I supposed to explain this?
For a moment, my brain felt like it had shut down. The security guard, who at first seemed to think I was a ghost, began to quickly scan me up and down once he realized I was human.
“Ooh…?”
“Eh…?”
.
.
.
“Kyaaaaaah!!!”
A beat too late, I realized I was a naked woman. With the rustle of trash bags flying through the air, I bolted.
“Hey, miss!!! Where are you going!”
Thump, thump, thump!
As I sprinted at full speed, I could feel my huge tits bouncing crudely.
“Ugh…”
I clutched my chest against the pain and kept running.
‘How did my body… Dammit!!’
Fortunately, I saw a door nearby that looked like an exit.
“Miss!!”
Leaving the guard calling desperately after me, I burst outside.
Screech… Thud!!
I roughly threw open the rusty green steel door and kicked it shut behind me.
‘Wh-Where am I…?’
I looked up and saw the familiar, ordinary city buildings of Korea.
There was a mix of low-rise and high-rise buildings, with familiar storefronts like restaurants, cafes, and convenience stores.
Right in front of me was a narrow sidewalk and a two-lane road.
It wasn’t a major downtown area with tons of skyscrapers, but it was a busy city street, bustling with cars and people.
And, of course…
Just as I saw them, they saw me.
“Ah…?”
“Kyaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Wh-What the? Some crazy woman…”
As pedestrians screamed, even more eyes turned toward me.
People walking on the sidewalk.
People drinking in a cafe inside a building.
People looking at their phones on a bus.
Everyone was staring at me.
“N-No…”
Some people, shocked, started calling the police. Others raised their phones to take pictures and videos.
“D-Don’t take pictures!! I’ll report you. St-Stop it!”
My face. My chest. My pussy.
There were three places to cover, but I only had two hands.
In my panic, my hands flailed about, lost.
“I’m sorry! I’m definitely not looking on purpose…! But I mean, I can’t not look…”
“She must be crazy…”
“I’ve never seen a body like that in real life…”
My flailing hands only ended up revealing one important part after another, but I didn’t even have the presence of mind to worry about that.
I desperately tried to escape the crowd and ran into a nearby alley, but…
[70-Year Tradition Grandma’s Pork Gukbap]
As they say, there’s no paradise for a fugitive.
The gukbap restaurant in this alley must have been famous, because dozens of people were lined up, waiting. Our eyes met.
I’d find out later that it was the peak of lunchtime, the busiest time of day for foot traffic.
“Uh… huh?”
As my eyes met with the crowd’s, everyone, including me, froze with wide, startled eyes.
“Wow…”
“Is this a MyuTube hidden camera prank? To see people’s reactions.”
“Holy shit… She’s fucking beautiful.”
“They’re fucking huge…”
“Ooh yeah… that body…”
“Hey, hey, you’re gonna get arrested for that.”
“Isn’t she a crazy bitch? Honey, stop staring at her pussy and call the police!”
‘Why are there so many people around here…?’
I could hear the frequent click, click of camera shutters nearby.
It was obviously a criminal act, but they must have thought it was fine as long as they didn’t get caught, or maybe they just wanted a picture of my body that badly. Everyone was snapping away.
“D-Don’t look!!!”
I shouted threateningly, but the clicking didn’t stop.
*
Thanks to the flood of reports, the police arrived quickly and caught me in the alley within five minutes.
I was dragged away and was now being interrogated by a middle-aged police officer, wrapped in a large blanket.
Thankfully, they didn’t handcuff me or treat me like a serious felon, but to be arrested for public indecency… This was utterly humiliating.
“……”
“Haa… What’s your name?”
The officer stared at me like I was some kind of freak.
‘Oh, heavens above…’
No, should I be praying to the Constellations now?
Come to think of it, all my connections to the Constellations I had contracted with in my previous body were severed.
To think that I, once the world’s number one, was now a woman being interrogated naked at a police station… A sigh escaped my lips.
SLAM!
“Miss, do you think this is a joke?”
“Ah, you scared me!”
The officer, clearly stressed from the numerous calls, seemed to be in a foul mood. He slammed his hand on the desk and yelled.
‘What am I supposed to do…?’
Having just possessed this body, there was no way I’d know its name.
If I gave my old name, they’d obviously find a record of a dead man who looked nothing like me, which would only make them think I was even crazier.
Besides, I had to get revenge on those bastards. If I, now powerless, announced my return, wouldn’t those traitors just secretly kidnap and torture me?
‘And if it were just torture, I’d be lucky. In this body…’
Vivid images of the tortures I could suffer as a woman flashed through my mind, sending shivers down my spine.
There was only one excuse I could make here.
“I-I can’t remember…”
I had to act as pitiful as possible. As if I’d been victimized by some unknown evil organization and lost my memory. I answered wretchedly.
An inexplicable, burning sense of humiliation washed over me, but I had to endure it. In this body, which was back to the level of an ordinary woman, there would be many things I’d have to endure. Could I not even handle this?
‘Yes. For the greater good…!’
However…
“My god, I’ve seen some crazy fucking lunatics in my day…”
“What…?”
My pitiful act, which I had performed at the cost of my pride, failed to deceive the veteran officer who had subdued all manner of drunks and madmen. It only earned me more insults.
“No, I really can’t remember.”
“Miss, do you know where you are?”
The officer lowered his voice, leaned his stubbled face in close, and glared at me sharply.
“The police station…?”
“Then, what’s the name of this country?”
“Korea… right?”
“You remember that just fine. And your Korean is fluent. So what the hell did you forget?!!!”
SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!
The officer shot up from his chair, pointing and screaming at me.
“You think I haven’t seen a hundred punks like you?! Huh?! You think you can get away with anything just because you have a pretty face? It’s obvious you got drunk and slept somewhere weird. Or maybe you were on drugs.”
“N-No, that’s not it!!”
“Spit out the truth, now!!!”
‘Damn it, why isn’t this working? In novels, saying you have amnesia always works…’
This was so unfair. But it’s not like I could reveal my real name, could I?
And shouldn’t he fall for me at first sight because I’m pretty and let me off the hook? Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?
For the record, I found out what my face looked like when I saw my reflection in a glass door while running around naked.
It might be a little conceited, but I think I’m at a national treasure level. It seemed that had no effect on a veteran cop, though.
“Agh, whatever. You… you’re so busted. Nowadays, we can find out who anyone is with fingerprints and facial recognition! You think the police are a joke, don’t you?”
Thump!
The officer slammed the desk one last time and left.
‘Ah…’
As I sat there, dumbfounded, I heard muttering from the side.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk… what’s a pretty young lady like her doing in broad daylight?”
“I heard she was running around the city stark naked~”
“Is her head just for decoration?”
“Hahaha! What a crazy bitch…”
“You said it. The world’s gone to hell~”
“No, I’m not a crazy bitch!”
‘Fuck…’
A couple of old drunks who’d been dragged in for daytime rowdiness were calling me a crazy bitch.
‘Haa, how did I end up like this… Why did I end up in a body like this?’
About five minutes later.
“Ahem… Why isn’t this working?”
The results were in.
No match found. Not even a similar person. Not a dead person or a missing person.
They also did a breathalyzer and a drug test, but of course, both came back clean.
In other words, I was either an illegal immigrant who wasn’t Korean, or someone who had never even been registered at birth.
“What in the world…?”
‘Yeah… what in the world? Is the owner of this body not Korean?’
I was secretly hoping this would be a chance to find out who the owner of this body was and where she lived, but that was all gone now.
I tilted my head in confusion, just like the officer.
“Can you speak English?”
The officer suddenly asked me a question in English.
“Um, uh… Yes. A little.”
I tried to answer as calmly as possible…
“What the? So she is Korean after all.”
The officer kept muttering “after all” and tilting his head.
‘Seriously…’
He figured out I was a native Korean from my English pronunciation. It was embarrassing, but I had to admit it.
“You don’t remember your home address either?”
The officer’s tone had become a little kinder.
“No… I don’t remember anything about my past.”
‘I do, I just can’t say it…’
“You don’t know your own name either…?”
“No…”
The officer seemed quite flustered, as if this was a first for him.
“Haa… Was there a manual for this kind of thing…?”
He fiddled with his computer for a moment, then made a series of phone calls.
‘I guess he’s not as bad as I thought.’
I couldn’t fight back in this weak woman’s body, so I was a little scared at first. But after he realized I was a Jane Doe with genuine amnesia, he became considerably kinder.
About 30 minutes later.
“Ahem, I apologize. I really thought you were just some weirdo earlier. I just learned that in very rare cases, people can get amnesia like this. I thought that was just something that happened in dramas… I apologize once again.”
“No, it’s okay.”
He bowed his head deeply and handed me several documents.
“First, just in case you have family looking for you, I’ve uploaded your photo to the missing persons database. On this form, just decide on a name you’ll use from now on, read through the various benefits, and sign it.”
“Uh… Just like that?”
“Normally, you’d have to visit the court, the administrative office, and hospitals in order, but I was told that for women presumed to be victims of violent sexual crimes, the procedures can be postponed. In a little while, a lady will be here to guide you to your temporary residence.”
“Oh…”
Ah, this damn country.
No, wait, now that I’m a woman, is it a good country?
In any case, since a young woman was found wandering the city naked with amnesia, the government was offering some help. I don’t know if they had the authority, but I was getting a free place to live and a free pass on the annoying examinations for now.
“Of course, you’ll also need to fill out an incident report, so I’d appreciate it if you could write down where your memory begins.”
So, I wrote that I woke up in a garbage dump and, though embarrassed, described my memory of running around naked as best I could. They’d probably assume I was a kidnapping victim. As for the investigation, well, the police would handle that.
And the important part.
‘A name.’
Usually, your parents give you your name.
My name in my past life was Lee Do-hyeon.
I was an only child, so I didn’t have a sister, but my mother once told me the name she had wanted to give a daughter if she’d had one.
‘Lee Do-hee.’
The ‘Do’ from ‘dohwa’ for peach (桃), and the ‘Hee’ for ‘to shine’ (熙).
Honestly, the meaning was probably just something she tacked on, but what was important was that I, as family, would carry on the will of my former self, Lee Do-hyeon.
And since peaches went well with this pink hair, it was perfect.
‘I will execute the traitors and see the end of the Tower.’
With looks and a body like this, I could probably make a living just by streaming or making vlogs and lookbooks while spouting nonsense. But I didn’t want to do that.
‘Hoo…’
I had a mountain of things to do.
*
A short while later, the woman who was supposed to guide me to my residence appeared at the police station.
‘What? They said she was a middle-aged woman…?’
“Oh my~ Hello~”
A feast of flesh was clearly visible over her clothes even without her bending over. I couldn’t find a place to rest my eyes, and my gaze kept wavering.
“Ah… Hello.”
Her kind-looking face was betrayed by her violent figure.
‘How is she a middle-aged woman?’
She might not have been a young woman in her twenties, but she was completely different from the ‘ahjumma’ I had imagined.
When I lifted my head slightly, I saw her waving with a pleased smile.
“Hohoho… We have a very cute one this time~”
Her sweet and languid voice tickled my ears.
“You’re Do-hee, right? Shall we get going, just the two of us?”
“Ah… yes, let’s go.”
I had been staring blankly and answered a beat too late.
I shook my head to clear the stray thoughts and followed her out.