A Trivial Repayment (1)
"Did you enjoy the meal?"
"Yes, but about the money, really—"
"Don't worry about it. I'm hardly going to charge a guest for lunch, am I? I'll clean this up, so just wait here a moment."
"Then let me help as well. Where should I put the pizza boxes…?"
By the time the meal—punctuated by that faintly awkward air between us—finally came to an end, it was already pushing two in the afternoon. Factoring in Kim Isabel's curfew back at the church, we had two hours left at the very most. An awkward stretch of time, really—too short to properly do anything with.
The 'androphobia training' had already been put to use once before we ate, so dredging it up again now would only seem strange.
But there wasn't enough time to head outside and do something together either. At best, an hour or two of idle chatter was all we had room for.
'Still, it feels like a waste to send it off like this.'
I would have liked, at the very least, to try getting a feel of those enormous breasts of hers. Even with not a sliver of skin showing, that mass of fat radiated lewdness from every inch of her body, and if I could have gripped it with both hands and kneaded it, then today, at least, I'd have no regrets.
That was exactly why I hadn't stopped her earlier, either—deliberately letting her watch me stroke my cock. If she had an ounce of shame, I figured she'd offer up her breasts as penance for laying hands on my belongings.
'Was it a mistake to just let it slide?'
Maybe it would have been better to feign at least a little shock at having been touched there. Was my habit of playing the saint making the fishing take so long? Perhaps I should have thrown out something bold, just once—'You touched my dick, so as repayment, let me touch your chest.'
No—doing something like that might cause no trouble in the moment, but it would be a disaster once the Suggestion wore off. I'd worked so hard to become 'the man she can feel safe around' inside her head; if I pulled a stunt like that, the instant the suggestion dissolved she'd be thinking 'men really are all the same.'
More than anything, pulling that kind of move on Kim Isabel—a girl whose androphobia was born from her stepfather's attempted rape—was something I couldn't stomach doing even to myself. If her fear of men worsened because of me, every bit of groundwork I'd laid in her conquest would go up in smoke.
Deciding that waiting for Kim Isabel to close the distance herself was the best play after all, I set a fresh glass of milk down in front of her.
"Take it easy and rest up before you go. I'll walk you back to the church when it's time."
"That's all right. I'm perfectly capable of returning on my own—I couldn't possibly owe you another debt."
"I have business at the Academy this evening anyway, so I was heading out regardless. Think of it as me walking you on my way. Don't read anything strange into it."
"…If you insist, then all right."
She didn't refuse, then. Not that I had any intention of sending her off alone even if she had.
With the timing so awkward, I decided to call it a day here and let myself relax. Better that than attempting something odd and making the whole atmosphere stiffen up on me.
"Oh, right—come to think of it, do you remember that girl Park Hana we met at Neverland Amusement Park a while back?"
"Yes, I remember her. She was the Combat Department freshman who used that remarkable technique, wasn't she?"
"I ran into her in the student cafeteria when I visited the Academy the other day. Apparently she's already moved into the dorms."
"Really? We don't eat in the student cafeteria—the church serves our meals communally, so…"
Even in the original novel, it wasn't until well after her first year that Kim Isabel fully opened her heart to the protagonist. There was no need to rush and choke on a meal when enrollment hadn't even begun yet.
"I see. So you'll be sitting in on Understanding of Weapons and Monster Ecology alongside her too, Isabel. Tell me—among your electives, is there by any chance an outdoor survival practicum…?"
That was the plan: chat pleasantly about Academy life, the mandatory first-semester courses, and the like, build up a bit of intimacy, and wrap up the date on a gentle note. That was the plan.
"U-um, more importantly, Mr. Lee Seonho. Th-there's something I need to give you…!"
"Hmm?"
"A-about earlier, when I accidentally touched your… your belongings, I—I wanted to apologize for it…."
Thanks to Kim Isabel's words, the hope that maybe today's progress wasn't over after all bloomed anew inside me.
"It's fine. Honestly, it didn't bother me at all. You can drop it."
"…No, I can't do that. No matter how much you forgive me, letting it pass like this wouldn't be fair."
…Yes. This. This is what I've been waiting for.
Our sweet, honest Isabel would never simply brush past having touched another person's precious belongings.
Clutching her wildly pounding heart, Kim Isabel forced herself to muster her courage.
She meant to be forgiven for the wrong she had just committed against Lee Seonho—and to repay the man who had dismissed it as nothing more than a trivial mistake.
"No matter how much you forgive me, Mr. Lee Seonho, letting it pass like this wouldn't be fair."
Even as she said the words, the conflict still raged inside her.
What if this method of atonement she'd conjured in her own head struck him as nothing more than an odd, inappropriate proposal? And what if even this much wasn't enough to earn her forgiveness? Those worries gnawed at her without pause.
"Fair, my foot. I told you already—I was actually glad to be touched."
"…You did say that."
"Mm?"
"S-since I carelessly touched your precious place, Mr. Lee Seonho, then to pay for that wrong, it's only fair that you touch my… my precious place as well."
"…What?"
"Th-that's the only way I can properly apologize to you, Mr. Lee Seonho."
Just as he'd said, he could have waved it off—written it up as a 'trivial mistake' and moved on. Her heart would have been uneasy for a while, but that would have been the end of it. For all she knew, bringing it up again and again might even have struck Lee Seonho as unpleasant.
But the other desire lingering in Kim Isabel's heart goaded her down an entirely different path—whispering that her blunder was, in truth, a golden opportunity to grow even closer to him.
Touching the body of someone you like feels wonderful. That was knowledge she already possessed from experience.
And being touched by someone you like feels wonderful too. …If Lee Seonho's claim was true—and he was the man she liked.
She knew she had feelings for him, and he had told her only a little while ago that he felt drawn to her in return.
So if she used this as her pretext—if she let him touch her body—couldn't she grow just a little closer to him?
"D-don't say such ridiculous things!"
"…I beg your pardon?"
"Wh-what on earth are you… Haah. Even so, Isabel—did you really think I wanted you apologizing like that?"
…Had something gone wrong?
She had offered it precisely to grow closer to him, so why was he angry with her like this?
Could it be that Lee Seonho's fondness for her had been nothing but her own delusion? Was that why even the thought of letting her touch him infuriated him so…?
"Don't say things like that so carelessly, Isabel. I really do like—ah, no, it's because you truly matter to me that I'm saying this."
"……"
"I understand that you want to apologize to me, Isabel. But a method like this will come back to wound you later, once the buff wears off."
…No.
He'd stumbled over it and covered it up in a hurry, but he had definitely said it—he liked her.
Those earnest eyes, that voice full of concern. From head to toe, every word of it was for her sake—she could feel it plainly enough.
Even his anger hadn't been a scolding; he had gotten angry for her, not at her—and that realization made her heart begin to race all over again.
'…Of course. The only man I can trust is you, Mr. Lee Seonho.'
How would an ordinary man have reacted, hearing her offer? Most likely, feigning helplessness, they'd have seized hold of that grotesque, enormous chest of hers without a moment's hesitation.
Her androphobia had made her exquisitely sensitive to the gaze of others, and Kim Isabel had felt with her whole body the strange looks countless men had cast at her breasts, at her hips.
But not this man. Lee Seonho alone was different.
"No. No more of this—we're done with it. I'm going to pretend I never heard what you just said, Isabel."
"……"
Even as she was begging to be touched, he refused like this, and tried again to erase the whole thing as if it had never happened.
A man this kind, this pure—she could trust him without reservation.
With any other man she still couldn't so much as hold eye contact. But with Lee Seonho, the one man she believed in… her chest was more than enough to give him.
No—it was the least she could do. He was the only man she could trust, even after androphobia had taken root in her.
…And if she hesitated here and let the moment slip away, this one precious love might be stolen from her by someone else.
'I'm sorry, Mr. Lee Seonho—but here, I have no choice but to make you feel a sense of responsibility toward me.'
It was, on its face, a rather forced way to ask forgiveness for a wrong she'd committed.
The excuse of having done something wrong might be just that—an excuse. Because if she didn't go this far, she simply couldn't think of any other way to make Lee Seonho feel responsible for her.
And so, with that thought, Kim Isabel caught the hand Lee Seonho was waving in refusal—and drew it straight onto her chest.
Squish!
"Hahhh…?!"
The sensation of her breasts being touched by a man for the very first time in her life.
Overwhelmed by that strange, heart-fluttering feeling, Kim Isabel let an unspeakable sound slip past her lips before she could stop herself.
Yet the one who reacted with more flustered panic than the girl who had just been touched was someone else entirely.
"……?!"
It was Lee Seonho—yanking his hand back from her breast a beat too late and staring at her with eyes full of bewilderment.
"I-Isabel…?"
"…Please don't run away, Mr. Lee Seonho."
"……"
"This is nothing more than my apology for the wrong I committed against you. And repayment, as well, for all the kindness you have shown me until now."
"…This is not the kind of repayment I wanted. I wasn't looking for repayment in the first place."
"Then does that mean my body is worth nothing to you—neither as an apology nor as repayment?"
"…Isabel, that's not what I meant at all."
"…I'm—I'm saying this with genuine courage, Mr. Lee Seonho. If it hadn't been for you, anything could have happened to me during the entrance examination, and even if I had somehow made it through safely, I would have been carried off by those terrorists at the amusement park."
"……"
"And you are the one who has treated my androphobia more than anyone else. The only person who could overwrite the memory of that man still burned into my trauma after nearly ten years… is you, Mr. Lee Seonho."
"…It doesn't have to be me, necessarily."
"That doesn't matter. You're the only one I can see right now, Mr. Lee Seonho."
The first man she could trust in the ten years since her androphobia began.
It was a bond too precious to lose, and she refused to let it be taken from her. So precious that she was even willing to exploit his good heart just to keep him by her side.
"All right, Isabel. If letting me touch your body will set your heart at ease, then I'll gladly do it."
"…Thank you, Mr. Lee Seonho."
"In exchange—don't say another word about the mistake you made, or about paying back the kindness you owe me. This is just… well, think of it as an extension of the androphobia training."
"…Thank you, Mr. Lee Seonho."
Even to a request thick with excuses, he had spoken as though considering her until the very last moment—and once more, Kim Isabel's heart began to pound.
"……"
Not even in her wildest dreams could she have imagined that the man before her had been aiming for everything—from the very beginning up to this very moment.