It's Just Part of the Treatment (3)
"If Isabel's okay with it, you can touch me freely. Don't think of it as treating me—think of it as part of the process of treating your androphobia, Isabel."
"…But wouldn't that be an act with no meaning for you, Seonho? It isn't treatment, so my hands touching you would only be unpleasant…."
"It's fine. If it's you, Isabel, I don't find it unpleasant at all."
"…So if it's me, it's all right."
Kim Isabel murmured the words back, taking my answer and turning it over in her mind with a meaningful look. And yet she still couldn't quite bring herself to reach out. Until now she'd had the excuse of 'treatment' to bring her hands to my body, but with even that flimsy pretext gone, she seemed to hesitate at the idea of simple skin contact.
I could have nudged her along in other ways, but the lever I'd chosen to move Kim Isabel this time was guilt.
"But I really shouldn't put my hands on your body, Seonho…."
"Sorry, Isabel. I guess this much was too much to ask after all."
"…What?"
"I only brought it up because I thought it would help treat your androphobia… but asking you to touch a man's body was asking a lot, wasn't it."
"That's not what I meant when I said it…."
"It's okay. I think there are plenty of other ways for you to get used to men besides this. I'll think of something else you can do without feeling pressured."
"…No, that's…."
I couldn't see her face behind the veil, but somehow I had a fair sense of what expression she was wearing right now. She was probably drowning in the guilt of having disappointed me with the very hesitation meant to spare my feelings, and regretting that she'd thrown away a rare chance to touch my body with no pretext at all.
For a woman whose Succubus Heart had amplified even her curiosity about the opposite sex, it didn't take long to correct herself.
"P-please, let me do it!"
"Hm?"
"I-if it truly wouldn't be rude to you, Seonho… then please let your body be what helps me get used to men."
"…Are you sure?"
"Yes. Other men still frighten me, but… with you, Seonho, I think I'd be all right…."
There it is. I knew you'd say that.
Touch the guilt and she reacts instantly. Maybe it's because she already owes me so much—the debt makes her tip over that much faster.
Either way, I'd managed to steer things toward exactly the kind of skinship I wanted. Carefully, Kim Isabel peeled off her gloves, preparing to make direct contact with my skin.
-Srrrk.
"U-uhh…."
Kim Isabel extended her hand toward me, hesitant—and yet somehow, her fingertips carried a trace of longing.
Her touch settled on my chest once more. This time there were no gloves, no hospital gown, nothing between us—bare skin against bare skin.
With no purpose of treatment behind it, with nothing but the simple desire to touch a man's body, Kim Isabel's fingers began to crawl across me, her movements tinged with yearning.
-Tap.
"Hah…."
At first she started cautiously, with a single finger.
During treatment she'd rubbed her palms over me without a second thought, wiggled her fingers around freely—and now she was acting like this. Clearly having me watching her made her a little self-conscious.
But she didn't stop. She kept going, carefully tracing her fingers along the grooves and lines of my body. Left alone like this, she'd grow honest with her desires little by little. I was counting on it.
-Srrk, srrrk.
"Hoo, hah…."
-Rub, rub.
"Hh—mm, nnh…."
She wavered at first, glancing at my face between touches, but at some point she began rubbing her hands over me as boldly as she had during treatment.
Her caresses had started at the level of a fingertip's brush—and it didn't take long before they were gliding across my entire chest and the ridges of my abs.
-Rub, rub.
"How is it, Isabel?"
"Hyaaht—y-yes?!"
"A man's body. Do you think doing this will help you get used to it?"
"Y-yes. I'm not sure, but I think it's working. Probably…."
"If it's working, then you should definitely keep going."
"A-are you all right with this, Seonho…? My hands aren't making you uncomfortable, are they…?"
"I'm fine, so don't worry about that at all. It's not like a woman's hands on my body feel strange to me or anything. If it ever does bother me, I'll say so—until then, don't think about it."
"…All right. Thank you for being so considerate, Seonho."
With her answer, Kim Isabel brought her hands back to my chest, her fingers wandering as they explored.
She'd fumbled and flinched at first, but once her skin actually met mine, she showed no sign of stopping. Unless I told her to quit, she wasn't going to stop on her own.
This morning session, along with the afternoon treatment a few hours away, was my last chance to push my relationship with Kim Isabel forward—so I had no intention of reining her in. Short of her hands wandering too far south, I'd let even a few sensitive spots slide.
And so the secret contact continued, flesh against bare flesh, just as Kim Isabel was working through her budding fascination with the male body—
-Tap.
"……!"
-Jolt.
"Ah…."
One of Kim Isabel's fingers brushed my nipple, and my whole body flinched in an instant. Realizing what she'd just touched, Isabel gasped and snatched her hand away.
"……"
"……"
The air turned awkward in a heartbeat.
She hadn't touched anything below the belt, but she had still laid a finger on a man's most intimate territory. And I was busy calculating which words would let us move past this while sparing her the maximum embarrassment.
Maybe I should have just endured it and pretended I didn't feel anything, I thought, regretting my reaction a moment too late—when a cautious apology came from Isabel first.
"I-I'm sorry…. I really didn't do it on purpose…."
"Don't worry about it. I'm the one who said you could touch me in the first place—I'm not going to make a fuss about it now. I flinched because it surprised me for a second, that's all. It wasn't unpleasant or anything."
"Yes…."
The mood had soured a little, but we got past it smoothly enough.
Flinching had probably been the better play, all things considered. If I'd shown no reaction at all to being touched, Isabel would have been the only one spiraling in awkwardness—and I would have missed this chance to make her conscious of me as a man.
Judging the lingering awkwardness a perfect opening to change the subject, I turned around and presented her with my back instead of my chest.
"How about you try my back this time? Come to think of it, during treatment your hands only ever touched my chest. You've never touched a man's back before, have you?"
"…No. I've never touched a man's back directly."
"Then take the chance and experience it. These things are best tried properly when the opportunity presents itself."
"But, um…."
-Whirl!
"……"
Without giving her a chance to think it over or refuse, I spun around and thrust my back toward her. It probably felt like I was forcing the choice on her—but so be it.
Opportunities were running out, and walking away with nothing but a bit of bare-handed chest contact would have been a waste. I needed to advance things as far as possible so that, during this afternoon's treatment, I could steer her 'mistake' in exactly the direction I wanted.
"Hh—hoo…."
The moment my back turned toward her, a faintly excited voice drifted from behind me.
For one thing, she'd never touched a man's back before, so it had to be intriguing. For another, with my eyes off her, the pressure of being watched had lifted considerably.
And above all, a well-trained back was a part of the body that drew the opposite sex's attention regardless of gender. Every morning and evening I worked out beside Choi Marie, I'd lost count of the times I'd wanted to wrap my palms around that pristine back of hers.
The body I'd built through a solid month of hard training with Marie had nothing to be ashamed of when shown to someone else.
-Sweep, srrrk….
"Hh, hooo…."
"How is it, Isabel?"
"It's… fascinating, somehow. Seeing a man's back this close up is, honestly, a first for me…."
"What does it feel like? Not scary or anything?"
"No. It's not like that."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I have no memory of seeing another man's back, so I can't compare—but at least with yours, Seonho, it's less frightening than… reassuring, I suppose…."
We traded calm conversation as Kim Isabel set both hands to my back and began rubbing in earnest. Just as she was using my body as her personal textbook for learning about 'men'—
-Creak, thunk!
"S-Seonho…! You're being discharged today, right…? I-if there's anything uncomfortable before you leave, I could…."
"……"
"……"
"…I-Isabel?"
…Ah. Damn.
It was discharge day, so I'd assumed she wouldn't come, and I'd let my guard down.
The morning treatment had run long thanks to all my experimenting with Isabel—and if Cha Eunju showed up at the same time as yesterday, getting caught like this was the only possible outcome.
"Eunju?"
"C-Cha Eunju…."
"…What is this?"
Me, top half undressed, showing my back to another woman. And Kim Isabel, androphobic as she was, with her bare hands pressed against it, rubbing.
Facing the two of us like that, Cha Eunju spoke—and her voice was colder than I'd ever heard it.
"Isabel? What are you doing right now? Why is Seonho taking his clothes off in front of you?"
"Th-that's…."
"Didn't you tell me you weren't used to men? Then how are you touching Seonho's back right now? Without your gloves, no less—bare-handed."
"……"
"I… I haven't even touched Seonho's back yet…."
"Eunju, calm down."
"I've never sat n-next to him and whispered in his ear like that…, never seen him undressed either…. So why, why is Isabel…."
Cha Eunju interrogated Kim Isabel point by point with hollow eyes—then, all at once, her voice began to tremble. Unable to bear the sudden swing of emotion, dark mana came seeping out around her body, coiling upward like smoke.