Impulse Suppression Training (3)
Choi Marie looked up at Lee Seonho, pressing down on the anxiety and distrust that stirred inside her chest.
As humiliating as everything up to this point had been, she had, while pretending to be hypnotized, observed his every move with meticulous care.
A calm expression. Matter-of-fact commands. And even the way he repeated his praise at just the right moments, as if trying to establish a routine.
On the surface, it looked for all the world like a genuinely serious training session. …Aside from the small detail that she was playing the part of a dog in front of him.
"This time, roll to the right, Choi Marie."
"……"
-Rrrroll.
"Good, well done. Such an obedient girl."
…She'd only gotten used to it because she kept doing it. It wasn't as if she wanted to do it, and besides, if her junior Seonho caught on that she was merely faking hypnosis, that would be a disaster.
Until she understood exactly what he intended by making her follow these commands, she had to keep up this act. Rushing into resistance on some careless misunderstanding, only for their relationship to shatter beyond repair later, would be far worse.
-Pat, pat.
"Our Mari is such a clever girl. You catch on so fast."
"…Thank you."
…And those hands, too—they'd simply touched her so much by now that, somehow, they felt almost comforting. That was all.
That was it. She refused to assign any meaning to this absurd, farcical nonsense.
After entertaining him with every trick she could muster, having thought all of that, the answer she had been longing for finally came from her junior's mouth.
"Shall we call the routine training here for today? You've gotten obedient enough, Marie."
"……"
"You can get up now. We're going to do a slightly different kind of training this time."
"…Understood."
It was a relief to be free of this humiliating position, but what on earth would this 'different training' entail?
If it turned out to be anything more shameful, anything more insulting than what she'd just endured, she would resist without hesitation—so Choi Marie resolved internally.
"Choi Marie."
"……Yes."
"Now we begin the real impulse suppression training. From this point on, you will control your body according to my instructions, no exceptions. We'll assume a combat scenario: you take your stance, and even if you feel the impulse to move, you do not move. That's the method."
"…Understood."
"Honestly, doing this training while you're conscious would be more efficient… but Marie, you're so hot-headed that if I suggested this training to your face, you'd blow up at me before even trying to understand. So just understand this much: it has to be done while you're under hypnosis. That's all I ask."
"……Yes."
Listening to her junior's words drift lazily into her ears, Choi Marie found herself replaying yesterday's mistake yet again.
The moment she realized it—realized that he had noticed her storming off in a huff, and that he had deliberately said nothing, treating her exactly as usual in spite of it.
Which meant that the real reason Seonho had played his hand—the 'hypnosis training'—was, in the end, that he had been disappointed in her. That he had stopped trusting her.
…Though of course, Seonho only knew that she was 'pretending to be hypnotized' insofar as he'd murmured it aloud without a clue.
'If he ever finds out I've been faking hypnosis this whole time…'
Any trust between them would break on the spot, never to be mended.
While she was busy agonizing over what she would do if her junior truly tried to cross the line someday, his voice found her ear again.
"The way your body reacts mid-combat, the impulses you feel—those all stem from your unconscious habits. So I'm going to observe how your body responds, and help you learn to bring it under control."
"……Yes."
"The ideal outcome is that you grow accustomed to the sensations that make you uncomfortable, Choi Marie. Even if you could restrain, just a little, the impulses and discomfort that well up inside you, you'd improve enormously from where you are now."
"…Understood."
"I believe you're fully capable of correcting the flaws in your constitution, Marie. If you can just perfectly master emotional suppression in combat situations—you're a perfect tank."
A perfect tank.
At the first sweet praise she'd heard since enrolling at the academy, Choi Marie's ears perked up, almost involuntarily.
For a girl far more used to hearing things like charge-happy lunatic or party wrecker, words like these sounded as if they meant she could finally shake off everything she'd once done wrong.
She never suspected, even for a moment, that this was the product of Lee Seonho's silver tongue at work—she simply latched onto the phrase 'perfect tank' and obsessed over it in her head.
'Right. All I have to do is fix this temper of mine. Just like Seonho says—if I can suppress those split-second emotions, I can truly become a perfect tank.'
If it was for the sake of becoming a 'perfect tank', then surely she could accept a somewhat humiliating training regimen.
And somewhere in that chain of reasoning, without quite noticing it, Choi Marie quietly loosened the 'final line' she'd drawn in her mind.
Then, over her shoulder, Lee Seonho's hand slipped down, gentle and unannounced.
"Get into position. Pretend we're in combat right now—basic shield raise stance."
-Shff.
The instant she heard the command, Marie lowered her stance and shifted, slow and deliberate.
Legs set slightly apart, hips bent gently forward, torso twisted so the shield was braced around her inner shoulder.
And just as Choi Marie settled into the shieldbearer's most fundamental stance—'Shield Raise'—Lee Seonho's hand slowly withdrew.
-Sliiide.
"……?"
Then it crept its way back in, right along the right side of her waist.
-Squirm, squirm.
"……Mmph."
-Squirm, squirm.
"…Mmph, hng, mmph…"
And there his fingers moved slowly up her flank, teasing her most sensitive spots, one by one.
Marie held her stance, fighting down the laughter that her body's reflexes tried to spew out, the flinching reactions, the crawling discomfort—suppressing it all by sheer force of will.
"Good, you're doing great. Keep holding that stance."
"Haah, mmph… nngh…"
"Bearing the ticklishness is ultimately part of emotional control too. You need to build the habit of growing accustomed to discomfort that comes from stimuli that pose no threat to your body."
"Hng—mmph… nnghh…"
…Honestly, she couldn't say she understood his reasoning completely.
What on earth did enduring tickling have to do with controlling her emotions? Was this actually helping her suppress her impulses, really?
Sure, on a technical level, her junior's logic was probably the more systematic one… but right now, the only feeling Marie had was a burning desire for this sensation to end, and fast.
"Hng… haa…"
"Struggling?"
"……N-no, sir…"
"Good. You have to endure at least this much. You're under hypnosis right now, remember? You can't afford to fail at emotional control even in your subconscious state."
"…Mmph, hng… nnghh…"
In truth, she had been feeling all of this with a perfectly clear mind for quite some time now.
She'd merely let the chance to say so slip by, and so the hypnosis act simply… continued.
Still, she strove to endure it somehow. After all, this entire situation—receiving training meant for the subconscious while fully conscious—was entirely of her own making.
'And nothing Seonho has said is actually wrong, either…'
If he had approached her, wide awake, and said, 'I'm going to put you in a stance and tickle you, so please hold out,' how would she have reacted?
She'd have flared up at the absurdity, insisting no such training could possibly exist, and lashed out on impulse—all without giving even a moment's thought to the importance of what he was trying to teach her.
That was exactly why Seonho had started the 'hypnosis training' in the first place, and as a result, the intensity of the training had somehow escalated to this.
She had built this situation herself, so she had no choice but to shoulder it.
…And besides—high training intensity just meant faster feedback came back to her.
'When you think about it, this is no different from just doing high-intensity training…'
With that thought, Choi Marie somehow suppressed the tickling sensation crawling along her flank.
"Pfft—hng…!! H-haaah…!!"
…Though the laughter that leaked out on pure reflex was more than she could manage to hold back.
'She's holding up better than I expected.'
I'd figured there was a very real chance she'd try to bolt less than a minute after the tickling started.
But against all odds, Choi Marie was weathering this 'impulse suppression training' of mine remarkably well—and this despite the fact that at some point, I'd gone from one hand to both of them at her waist.
'Judging by these reactions, she doesn't entirely lack the sense that she needs to fix her own habits. Thank goodness for that.'
If she'd gotten this far and still carried an attitude of 'well, I didn't do anything wrong,' things would've gotten tedious. This training depended not just on her willingness to play along with the 'hypnosis' pretense, but on her willpower too.
She was maintaining the act because of Suggestion: Hypnosis, sure—but the sensation of tickling itself isn't something that can be endured by mental fortitude alone.
If Marie had genuinely possessed that 'I did nothing wrong' mindset, I'd have skipped the original-novel-heroine treatment altogether and moved on to serious training… but she was just barely, precariously, holding the line.
"Nngh, hnng…!! H-hahaah…!!"
Every time a stray laugh or two escaped her, she would bite her lip hard and grit through it.
Of course it was hard—she was trying to wrestle down the most primal sensations her body could produce. And she was stubbornly fighting to endure it anyway.
Well, she was a shieldbearer, so at base she had the willpower to match. She just misjudged things sometimes, and had a selfish streak.
But all of that, flaws included, was part of what made her Choi Marie, so I didn't particularly mind. How could I possibly love only the good parts? I loved her because she was a heroine—flaws and all.
"Nngh, hnngh…!! Hnn, haa, haaah…!!"
'Still, watching her try to crush down that fiery temper of hers on her own is honestly pretty adorable.'
When all was said and done, this training would probably do wonders for curbing Marie's impulses. Every time the urge to recklessly charge in welled up in her mind from now on, today's memories would come flooding back whether she liked it or not.
…Though I'll admit the process filled a few of my personal desires along the way. Call it a bonus.
"Looks like you're getting used to it, so I'll turn the stimulation up a little."
-Sliiide.
"Nnngh, hng, hhng…?! Hng, hhhng…!!"
With a line delivered as naturally as any coach's, I slid both hands, which had settled at her waist, a little higher. This time, into the hollows of both her armpits—spread slightly open by her shield-gripping stance.
The moment my hands slipped in, Marie instinctively curled inward, and I leaned close to her ear, advising the correction like it was an order.
-Squeeeeze.
"Relax. Hold out properly to the very end, and I'll praise you again."
"Nn, hnngh… haa, hng, hnn…"
-Sliiide.
Did she truly want the praise that badly? Or had my voice simply jolted her back to her senses, late, refocusing her on the training?
Only she would ever know what was going on in that head of hers—and I let my imagination wander over the possibilities as I gently kneaded into both of Choi Marie's armpits.