The Accident
Lady Erna was the person to whom the word "genius" applied more fittingly than to anyone else alive.
In the good sense, she was a genius who displayed overwhelming talent at whatever she turned her hand to.
In the bad sense, she was an arrogant genius who could not comprehend people who lacked her gifts.
And it was precisely this side of the Lady that forced me to appear a genius myself.
Because she was incapable of understanding the concept of "falling short," I was made to repeat an endless number of regressions — not for mistakes, mind you, but for single instances of mere insufficiency.
Why was the main quest called Perfect Maid, you ask?
Let us simply say that I came to understand the reasoning all too well.
The bulk of my duties consisted of attending to the Lady's every need, and the massage was nothing more than part of the nightly routine among them.
Three days had passed since I took a job at Yuri's company.
In that time, I had come to rule the office with a single finger.
"Ms. Secretary, you've arrived!"
"Good morning!!"
"My life for Lee. Se. Ha!"
"Good morning, everyone."
Three office workers who had spent months being ground beneath the CEO's heel.
When I had first met them three days ago, they were a catalogue of afflictions — irritable voices, exhaustion-hollowed faces, tech neck, carpal tunnel syndrome, scoliosis, misaligned pelvises, the works.
But after receiving my intensive Care Mana Massage once a day for the past three days, they had been reborn as entirely new people.
There was a healthy glow to their skin, a bright sparkle in their eyes, and their voices brimmed over with loyalty toward me.
I had been contracted under the clear pretense of an intern, yet here I was, being treated as the CEO's closest confidante and personal secretary.
I strolled leisurely into the CEO's office and brewed a pot of coffee.
The fragrant aroma of the coffee beans filled the room.
A gentle, mellow acidity — reminiscent of well-ripened fruit rather than anything sharp — shone through the flavor.
"This is it."
"...At this point I genuinely can't tell whether you're the CEO or I am."
"Rest assured, I have no designs on a position whose only distinguishing feature is crushing responsibility."
"Am I supposed to be happy about that?"
"Had I truly set my sights on the corner office, you would by now be a wretched creature incapable of surviving a single day without me."
"That's exactly what terrifies me — I honestly believe you could pull it off. So please, I am begging you, don't."
It was a desperate plea from the CEO, and the sincerity showed through every word.
Have no fear. I have no intention of coveting the presidency of a corporate sweatshop like this one.
"Phew. Oh, right — do you know today's schedule?"
"I do. The day we finally meet the remaining four has arrived, hasn't it."
"Judging by the three outside, I'm honestly not sure letting the kids meet you was the right call..."
"Those three were in such deplorable condition that they outright required my care, so there was nothing to be done about it. I am not the sort of person who meddles where meddling serves no purpose."
"Hearing you say that somehow makes me more nervous."
"On paper, they all looked perfectly fine to me, for what it's worth."
"Paper and reality are two different things. Nobody puts an unretouched photo on their résumé, do they?"
"Hmm. If you feel that strongly about it, then unless something serious comes up, I shall refrain from touching them."
"Good. I'll trust you on that."
Even as I exchanged idle chatter with the CEO, my hands moved with practiced efficiency, sorting through the documents.
And as time slipped by, the appointed hour drew near before I knew it.
Thirty minutes remained until the meeting time when the office door swung open and a woman stepped inside.
According to the profile I had read, her name was Han Mari.
"Boss~! I'm heeere!"
Seeing her in person, she was a woman whose adorable puppy-like face, tall frame, and boundless energy called nothing to mind so much as a large, exuberant dog.
"Mari, you're here? Earliest again today, I see."
"Was I the fastest?"
"Yep. None of the others have shown up yet."
"Hehehe, then victory in our bet is mine!"
"Bet?"
"Yes! Me and the others wagered on who'd get here first today."
"And the prize, incidentally?"
"Whoever arrives last has to buy coffee for the whole staff!"
As she bounced about crowing over her free coffee, the CEO introduced me to her.
"Mari, you haven't met her yet, have you? This is Lee Seha, our newest hire. Her position is, well... my secretary? Something like that."
"Wow, a new coworker! I heard about you from the manager, but this is my first time meeting you in person. Hello! I'm Han Mari. Looking forward to working with you!"
"My name is Lee Seha. Given how often we'll be seeing each other from here on, the pleasure is entirely mine."
We exchanged light self-introductions and greetings.
For my part, I believed I had greeted her with the same polished courtesy as always.
The other party, however, appeared to perceive things rather differently.
Whisper, whisper.
"Boss. Boss. The new employee, she's got like... a certain regal air about her? That's the vibe I'm getting."
"Mm. Just remember that she's received professional training in this sort of thing. That's all you need to know."
"Right? I knew there was something out of the ordinary about the way she carries herself!"
She had sidled right up beside the CEO to whisper, technically speaking.
But I heard every single word.
Most likely my ingrained habits had come across as slightly intimidating.
I may need to exercise a touch more caution going forward.
Just then, the office door opened once more and the next person entered.
If Han Mari was the golden retriever type, this one was a woman of somewhat smaller stature, with a slender, boyish charm about her.
"What? And here I thought I'd finally come in first."
"Bzzzt~! So sorry, but first place belongs to Mari once again!"
"Ugh... well, second place is still mine at least. Just you wait. Next time I'm winning."
"Hehe. Narae, you say that every single time, and you've never won. Not even once."
"Did you just call me a loser?! Take it back...! Take back that exact sentence!"
"I don't recall saying anything quite that strong? But fine, fine, I take it back."
"Grrrrrrrr!"
So if Han Mari was a retriever, this one was a chihuahua.
The second woman to arrive was named Cha Narae.
She lunged at Han Mari as if ready to bite her throat out on the spot, but Han Mari subdued her in a single move — by scooping her up and hoisting her bodily into the air.
"G. AAAAH! Put me doooown!"
"You're so squishy. Feels great."
"I am not some body pillow you cuddle up to at night!"
"Ehehe, I'm gonna hold you just a little longer."
Was that a testament to how light Cha Narae was, or to how Han Mari possessed superhuman strength beyond all expectation?
Possibly both.
A short while later.
With the atmosphere calmed, the CEO introduced me to Cha Narae as well.
"Miss Narae? This is Lee Seha, who'll be working alongside you from now on."
"...What's this, Boss? Our Gen 1 just grew to five people?"
"No. Seha is my personal secretary. Or, well, something along those lines."
"A secretary with that face...? She should be debuting as a cam girl yesterday or going straight into the entertainment industry with that face!"
"I appreciate the compliment, but I have little desire to make my face known in that line of work. And might I say, Ms. Cha Narae, that you are more than beautiful enough yourself. As the CEO introduced, my name is Lee Seha. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh. Yeah."
Having exchanged greetings with the second member as well, we relocated to an empty conference room.
Two members had yet to arrive.
And twenty minutes remained until the appointed hour.
We agreed to pass the time with light conversation while we waited.
And of course, no conversation is complete without refreshments.
I gladly brewed some tea and served the two of them as well.
"Whoa, this is legit delicious."
"Ahh, from the taste to the aroma, it beats every proper tea house I've ever been to."
"Thank you for your kind words."
"Boss, where on earth did you find someone like her?"
"I didn't find her. If we're being precise... hmm, call it a parachute hire?"
"With that face and those skills, you call that a parachute...?"
It wasn't exactly an inaccurate description.
Mother had dumped me unceremoniously into my cousin's company with a breezy "make yourself useful," so technically, parachute was the correct term.
It was merely that no one knew this particular parachute had spent several hundred years working as a maid, with a regression count exceeding twenty thousand.
The tea loosened everyone's nerves and the atmosphere grew relaxed and easy.
Our conversation centered on how everyone had been spending their days lately and how preparations were coming along, and with about five minutes left before the appointed time, one of the two remaining members arrived.
If the first two had been the retriever and the chihuahua, the third member who pushed open the conference room door was, to put it in the same terms, decidedly of the cat persuasion.
Her name was Yoo Chaewon.
Sweeping her sharp, feline eyes across the room in one fluid glance, Chaewon gave a silent, shallow bow, pulled out a chair beside Han Mari and Cha Narae, and sat down.
"H-haha. You've all seen her profile, right? This is Yoo Chaewon. She's quite shy around strangers, but she's not a bad person at all."
"Yes, I'm aware. How do you do. My name is Lee Seha."
"...Yoo Chaewon."
I set a cup of tea down in front of the newly arrived Chaewon as well.
Whether or not she truly was as painfully shy as advertised, this would tell us soon enough.
Chaewon lifted her cup and took a delicate sip.
"!!!"
Phoo— phoo— sip— sip—
For all her sharp eyes and aloof, untouchable appearance, Yoo Chaewon turned out to be genuinely, simply shy around strangers and nothing more.
And it showed, for her face as she drank the tea I had served was a study in contradiction.
Her eyes went wide with unmistakable shock — while her expression otherwise remained perfectly impassive.
And yet her hands kept raising the cup to her lips, clearly because she liked it.
"Is the tea to your liking?"
Nod, nod, nod, nod, nod!
So she was simply the type with a slight communication difficulty after all.
Hold on. Wait a moment. Is someone like that actually fit to debut as a VTuber?
Just as that question formed in my mind, the CEO leaned in close, wearing the expression of someone who knew exactly what I was thinking, and whispered to me.
"You'll see for yourself later, but on stream she talks up an absolute storm. Completely different from how she is in person."
"I see."
"So there's really no need to worry about her communication skills."
"Understood."
With the three of them now arrived, only one member remained.
The appointment time was fast approaching, and everyone assumed she would arrive any minute — but contrary to those expectations, the final member failed to appear even as the hour came and went.
At last, more than ten minutes past the appointed time,
the CEO placed a call to the final member herself.
Riiing— riiing—
"Ms. Daon? I was just calling to ask where you are... Wha—?! Oh, yes! Understood. I'll come to you, so just text me your location!"
The CEO hung up abruptly, her face frozen in shock.
Everyone's eyes converged on her as we waited to hear what had happened.
And then the CEO said something none of us could have anticipated.
"Ms. Daon got into a car accident in a taxi on her way here. It looks like I'll need to go down there. Everyone, without me—"
"Boss! I'm coming too!"
"M-me too! A coworker got hurt — there's no way I can just sit here waiting."
Nod, nod—
All three of them stood up at once, declaring they would accompany the CEO to the hospital.
Hmm. Given the way this is going...
"As her secretary, I hardly think I can be excluded either."
"...Agh, fine. Then let's all go together."
And so it was decided: the entire company would descend upon the hospital as one.