162. Mosaic
162. Mosaic
- 0 -
'Paradoxically, what feels most at ease is what is enjoyed within a certain set of constraints.'
But if freedom without any constraints whatsoever existed...
I let out a deep sigh.
- Hah...
Right now, I held precisely that in my hand.
Everything was visible even with my eyes closed,
everything was audible even with my ears covered,
and finally, I could feel everything even in death.
The sky split apart with a single gesture,
the stars howled with a single footfall,
and existence itself held its breath at a single glance.
'This is me...'
Within the limited world inside my mind.
But even when I stepped outside, I was still me.
- I must be careful.
A bitter smile lingered on my lips.
No one finds value in something easily crushed.
That was why I placed a lock on my own mind.
If I were to make an analogy:
I was a monster of the deep sea swimming with consideration for the fish,
a seven-headed dragon soaring harmoniously among the birds.
Now, I had come to fear myself.
From a different direction than before.
- It's only natural.
A monster capable of shattering a wall just by pressing on it ought to fear that wall's collapse.
Not because of the self that is the monster,
but because of the world unfolding beyond that wall and the influence to be exchanged with it.
Or, because one might fall into a bottomless abyss.
- Isn't that right, Arpina?
Thinking so, I watched the spider ceaselessly darting about in my hand and smiled.
- 1 -
The moment Libertas's enemy was bound to her.
In a banquet hall created within a castle of some remote village, unknown to others.
One of the rainbow-hued crystals, the green crystal, lost its light.
"What? Why isn't it shattering and just going out?"
One of the group who discovered it voiced their puzzlement.
Originally, the object was designed to shatter if one of them died, yet oddly enough, it merely lost its power.
There had only been one case like this.
"Arpina... they said she was captured in the Demon Realm but got out."
"She didn't even say goodbye and just popped off like that?"
"What a letdown..."
It was a case where one had expressed the intention to withdraw from their group.
It was only natural that the group members, who had considered her something of a friend, felt disappointed.
Even though their bond was so bizarre that anyone else hearing it would ask, 'Is your friendship even really friendship?'
"No, it's not that. Look at this."
However, refuting that opinion, one of the six shadows gathered there stepped forward.
A red light seeped out from between his fingers as he carefully lifted the crystal that had once glowed green.
- Ahh...
A red song flowed from his fingertips and seeped into the crystal, but there was no response.
As if it had fallen into the deepest abyss of the sea.
"Her 'greeting' cannot be heard. She did not withdraw."
"Huh? So you're saying she died or something?"
A gaunt figure with its neck bent grotesquely approached and peered at the crystal.
And after a moment, he also nodded in agreement.
"She's been caught! This one!"
"That's absurd. There is someone who can capture and imprison one of us? You all heard as well. Even that Abelus failed to keep Arpina confined."
"They said she was definitely in Haisen at the end."
"It's not as if a Demon Realm Archduke entered the inland, and there was no news about the Thirteen Stars, right?"
While the banquet hall grew noisy, the gaze of the one who had wielded the red power remained fixed on the crystal.
Flames of rage burned in his eyes.
"How dare... take my Arpina... away from us?"
They immediately planned to depart for the Demon Realm.
Though they normally only acted as individuals, they had no intention of leaving a 'friend's' misfortune unattended.
Of course, if they had all gone together at that time, many would likely have lost their lives.
That would have been quite a regrettable outcome.
Just as that was happening, they heard the news of Arpina's escape and were preparing to bring her back and throw a party.
But as it turned out, she had been caught in someone's grip again, without any word or rumor.
"Hey. You pissed off?"
"Of course I'm angry!"
Kwajik!
Ahh...
The table shattered into pieces at the red one's fingertips. It was a harmony of destruction born of powerful grip strength and mana.
The fragments scattered in all directions, creating an ominous sound.
"I will go and find her."
"Alone?"
"She was in a weakened state. Poor Arpina. How much she must have suffered there..."
As the red shadow buried his head and shed tears, the indigo shadow approached and comforted him, patting his shoulder.
"Don't cry. I'll go with you."
"You? What's the occasion?"
At the indigo shadow's words, the red shadow looked at him in surprise.
A long smile stretched across the indigo shadow's lips.
"I also like Arpina. You like her too. You can't go alone and get hurt."
"Then, since the two of you are going, can the rest of us go back now?"
"Whatever."
The mood wasn't right for a banquet anyway.
The people left the spot one by one, until only the red one and the indigo one remained.
Both of their eyes were still fixed on the crystal that had once been green.
Holding onto the hope that it might just reignite.
- 2 -
"You really did catch her all by yourself."
Immediately after hunting Arpina, Serica said this while striking a 'wow' pose.
I stopped walking and turned toward her.
I wanted to walk faster, but her expression had caught my eye.
Outwardly, it was a playful attitude, but to my eyes, her disappointment and dejection were completely visible.
I knew the reason well, too.
A sense of self-reproach that she 'had not been of help.'
"I didn't catch her alone, Serica."
"Huh?"
"Because you came, I was able to feel at ease and turn a fight into a hunt."
"Oh..."
Her help had indeed been meaningful.
Thanks to the forces she brought, I gained the certainty that even if this strategy failed, I could safely extract the other children, and I was able to engage in the 'play' with peace of mind.
If I had not been able to fully immerse myself in the play, Arpina would have sensed suspicion and been on guard.
"Euh-heung. Right? Show your gratitude!"
Serica, who had worn a blank expression for a moment, smiled smugly. Seeing that, I felt a smile unconsciously rise to my own lips.
"I regret that I was unable to be of help, Lady."
Passing by Serica's side, her noble mercenaries approached and carefully offered me a handshake.
"As I said to Serica, you were more than helpful. Thank you for coming."
"If you have any trouble next time as well, you may call on us without going through the young lady!"
"If it's Lady Libertas... we'll do it for free... no, for half price."
"Hey!"
While I watched Serica bicker with the demons, Muir approached.
I was a little on edge and nearly let out a sigh, but I barely held it in.
'She' was still alright. And she would continue to be alright. Even if it would be painfully long.
Muir was strictly a guest—a precious retainer who had also helped in this matter.
"The sealing has been completed, Lady."
"You have worked hard. Thank you for your help."
"It was nothing at all. Is it not a teacher's privilege to help her disciple?"
While I was submerged within my inner self, Muir had taken on the role of separating Arpina's body and soul and weakening the power of the spirit body.
All the relevant ability users, including Sonia and Ran, helped her stabilize my condition.
As long as I was fully immersed in the conscious world and receiving external assistance, suppressing Arpina was a matter of course.
But the fact that I could maintain my sense of self within that deep unconsciousness and eventually escape was more than half thanks to them.
"Thanks to you, I was able to properly look within myself once."
As a result, I succeeded in objectively observing the state of my own mind, and I also secured Arpina, which had been the objective of this task.
"What did you see in there?"
"Well..."
I recalled once more the image I had witnessed inside myself.
What that bizarre and transcendent figure signified was not yet clear.
'I haven't even fully grasped myself, and now I have to grasp another 'me'.'
It felt as if assignments were piling up.
But it was not frustrating.
It was merely intriguing.
'In any case, one thing is certain.'
The me who awakened inside was bound, but that binding held no meaning whatsoever.
'It wasn't binding, but rather seemed closer to 'restraint'—self-restraint...'
In the first place, even while wearing that binding, I could do anything within that space.
The entire inner space became my eyes, my ears, and my mouth.
I could also dimly sense that if that binding were released, I could achieve something even greater.
At the same time.
'That if that happens, it would be irreversible.'
The sense of omnipotence I experienced then was so intense that my current self felt rather powerless in comparison.
As I said, without help, not only would escaping from there have been difficult, but the aftereffects would have been considerable as well.
"This is a common symptom when one succeeds in observing their own inner self."
"Did you also experience it?"
"Yes, of course."
Muir comforted me, saying this was not a special occurrence and that I would soon be able to overcome it.
But my thoughts were somewhat different.
'That is not something to overcome. It is something to be accepted.'
It was a baseless intuition, but it did not feel wrong.
'In my mind, there was no disorder.'
The distortion that I had considered to be my own disorder was, in truth, nothing of the sort here.
Because the mind simply exists in whatever form it takes.
Moreover, here, there was no society to shave me down to fit, nor any standard to distinguish normal from abnormal.
'Because the me of now is a demon.'
That monstrous me within my vast mind was also me, but I was already restraining myself enough not to reveal it.
That was sufficient for now.
'I'll think about it later.'
I shook my head slightly to push the thought away. It was time to focus on the problems of reality.
"More importantly. What happened to Arpina's body?"
At my question, Muir bowed her head politely once and answered in a voice that was still gentle.
Even though she would have continuously watched over me while I was submerged in consciousness, her voice showed no sign of fatigue.
"Since the body would soon die if left without a soul, I temporarily placed a wraith inside to maintain its vitality. Now, as a puppet, she will follow the commands of the Lady and myself."
"So that can be done as well."
As I nodded in admiration, Muir answered with a charming smile.
"Because if there is a supporting soul, the body will try to obtain energy by any means."
"Is there any problem? Like the wraith wanting to keep using the living body..."