Vacation (5)
Seoul's massive underground mall aquarium.
"Three tickets."
"Yes, 84,000 won!"
"Coach, I'm really fine..."
But the moment I tsked in disapproval, Ha-young clamped her mouth shut like a scolded puppy. She watched me buy the tickets with anxious eyes, then let me lead her inside the aquarium.
"Ha-young, why the long face?"
"No, you really don't have to go this far for me, Coach..."
"What's the big deal? Coming to the aquarium without spending your own money is a total steal. We're here now, so let's enjoy it!"
"Still..."
"Seon-ah's right. It's not like you committed a crime and got dragged here—it's vacation, we're just out having fun. Don't worry about me and take it all in. As much as you've always wanted to."
Even right after entering, Ha-young kept wearing that guilty expression.
But the second they rounded the corner into the first exhibit, it vanished, replaced by the wide-eyed wonder of a kid seeing Santa for the first time.
"Whoa..."
Spotting the colorful fish swimming in towering water columns, Ha-young drifted to the glass like she was mesmerized, pressing her hand against it and tracking them with her eyes.
"Aquariums are this big? I thought they were just those little glass boxes like at home."
"That's not an aquarium—that's just a fish tank."
"Oh, really?"
Ha-young and Seon-ah linked hands and chattered away as they hurried ahead, just like ordinary high school friends out at the aquarium on a holiday.
Just that morning, she'd been sobbing in despair over her situation, but now her face beamed with a bright smile, like none of it had ever happened.
"Whoa, look at this!"
"Joseon palace theme? So pretty..."
"Ha-young, check that out. Koi food vending machine. Wanna try it?"
At Seon-ah's suggestion, Ha-young hesitated, glancing at me as if asking permission.
"Why look at me? Do whatever you want. You got money, right, Ha-young?"
"Yeah, I have my wallet, but..."
"What, no coins? Want me to buy it?"
"No! I have coins. I'll... I'll do it."
Ha-young fished two 500-won coins from her wallet and fed them into the machine. It spat out a small packet of koi food, which she scooped up and took to the pond.
As she sprinkled the food, the koi swarmed excitedly, snapping it up greedily.
Experiencing something new for the first time at her first-ever aquarium, Ha-young couldn't hide her smile.
"They're eating well."
"Hehe... This is fun. You try it, Seon-ah."
"Nah, I'm good. You finish it."
"Okay then..."
Ha-young kept scattering food until the packet was empty. Afterward, she looked even more exhilarated than before.
Next exhibit.
"Seon-ah, look! There's fish inside the vending machine!"
"Ooh, clever idea. And a fridge! No way—is that a real fridge?"
"What's that long one? Says something... Public phone booth? What's a public phone booth?"
"No clue. Coach, you know?"
"Isn't it from old movies? Back before cell phones, you put in coins to make calls. Supposedly they were real, but I've never seen one myself."
The two giggled something like, "Even Coach doesn't know everything~" and dashed ahead again.
Then Seon-ah pointed to a spot where people had lined up.
"People crowding over there—what's going on?"
Leaving me behind, the girls ran over. It was an experience corner where you dipped your hand into a tank full of tiny fish.
"Put your hand in here? With the fish inside?"
Ha-young eyed the wriggling swarm in the clear tank, looking scared.
"Oh, I know this one. Doctor fish—they eat dead skin for a skin treatment! Try it, it's fun. Gotta wash your hands first over there."
Seon-ah zipped to the sink nearby, washed up, and joined the line. When her turn came, she plunged her hand in without hesitation.
Dozens of fish latched onto her hand, wriggling away. Seon-ah shivered with a weird face.
"Eek! So tickly!"
"Seon-ah, y-you okay? What if they bite..."
"They're fine, they don't bite. Tickles at first, but then it feels all moisturized and slimy... Ahh... Feels good~"
She'd adapted to the sensation quick—her face relaxed completely. Watching, Ha-young looked worried but curious, flicking her gaze between Seon-ah's blissed-out expression and the tank.
"Wanna try?"
"Me? B-but it's scary..."
"What's scary about tiny fish without teeth? Go on, it'll be a waste not to. How often do you come to an aquarium?"
Convinced by me, Ha-young washed her hands and waited her turn. Glancing at Seon-ah grinning ear-to-ear, she gulped, squeezed her eyes shut, and sloooowly eased her hand into the water.
The fish swarmed her fingers the instant they touched the water, kissing at her skin.
"Eeeeek!"
Ha-young yelped and jerked back at the bizarre feeling. Seon-ah burst out laughing, grabbed her arm, and shoved it fully in. More fish piled on, nibbling away at her dead skin.
After her initial freak-out, Ha-young peeked inside, adapting. By the end, her face looked refreshed as she let out a sigh of relief.
"F-fun!"
"Right? Kinda addictive."
"Coach, next! Next exhibit, hurry!"
Now Ha-young was urging me ahead, taking the lead.
Everything in the aquarium—the massive freshwater fish bigger than people, touching sturgeon skin, shark and ray tanks—was a first for her.
They even sold ice cream midway. Ha-young bolted for it, ecstatic.
"I'll buy! Coach, want some?"
"If you're offering, sure."
"Three chocolate marble ice creams, please!"
Ha-young, who'd hesitated over 1,000-won koi food earlier, was now swept up in the vibe—no qualms about splurging on pricier ice cream.
We scooped bites with spoons as we wandered on.
"Manatees! Only seen 'em in books!"
"Sea lions too!"
"Too cute, what do we do!"
Ha-young and Seon-ah clutched hands, roaming freely. I was totally out of the picture now.
Then the highlight: the enormous underwater tunnel. Fish, sharks, and rays glided past our sides and overhead.
Ha-young's jaw dropped the moment we entered.
"Whoa..."
Watching a huge shark cruise above her head, all she could muster was awe.
"Bigger than I thought..."
Ha-young and Seon-ah spoke up at once.
"Huge, right?"
"Kinda small?"
Ha-young and I both stared at Seon-ah. Did I hear wrong?
"Small?"
"Yeah."
"If this is small, what's big?"
"I figured there'd be whale sharks or something."
"Whale sharks? Your standards are sky-high. Japan and the US have spots with those."
"I know. Thought they'd be here since it's Korea's biggest."
"No whale sharks doesn't ruin it. Seon-ah, look—sea turtles!"
Whatever Seon-ah's bar was, for Ha-young, this place was beyond imagination—vast and thrilling.
She grabbed Seon-ah's hand excitedly, snapping photos nonstop on the moving walkway.
At the exit gift shop, Ha-young bought a penguin plush and hugged it tight.
"Have fun?"
She nodded vigorously at my question.
"So much! Should've come sooner if I'd known."
"Your family's poor, but you're earning your own money now—no need to give up everything. It's not someone else's cash or scammed money—it's what you earned with your skills.
Saving is fine, but ditching all joy and just pinching pennies isn't always best. Life needs fun too. You earned this—treat yourself to ice cream, buy a plush. No need to beat yourself up over being poor. Right?"
"Yeah... You're right. Thanks, Coach."
Ha-young murmured softly, fiddling with her penguin.
"Coach! Ha-young! Drinks are ready!"
Seon-ah called from the cafe.
"Let's grab 'em, rest a bit, then head back."
"Okay!"
"I'm gonna game a bit then crash. Wanna join, Ha-young?"
"Nah, I'm beat... Gonna sleep."
"Alright, night. Guess I'll game."
"See you tomorrow, Seon-ah."
That night, I left Seon-ah in the practice room and headed to the dorm first.
Way earlier than our usual team bedtime, but after crashing around this time all vacation, my eyelids were already heavy.
A cute penguin plush from the aquarium gift shop sits by my pillow.
Hugging it tight brings back all today's memories like a vivid replay.
Getting dumped felt like the world hated me—no motivation, just wanted to die.
Staying home would've driven me insane, so I told Mom and came back early. Staring blankly in the practice room, I opened the fridge and saw Yuna-unnie and Coach's beers.
On impulse, thinking booze might numb the misery, I tried my biggest rebellion ever.
Coach caught me right away, though.
Explaining everything next day, I felt so ashamed of myself and my background—pathetic.
But Coach got mad for me at that stranger ex, asked what I'd always wanted but couldn't do, then dragged me to the aquarium to boost my spirits?
Wondered why he was acting so impulsively, but now I get it.
It had everything I'd dreamed of but never afforded: crowds, stunning exhibits, exotic fish, and a same-age teammate-friend seeing it all for the first time too...
Thought saving every penny 'cause we're poor would fix everything, but Coach said no.
I deserve joy, have the right and ability to find it.
Never spent on "frivolous" stuff, but feeding those koi? Pure bliss. Ice cream, souvenirs—what I'd called wasteful—felt worth every won.
Is this my own joy Coach meant?
Dumped just days ago, but today's aquarium makes it feel ancient history.
Still stings sometimes, gets me down.
But unlike yesterday's despair where I even touched booze, now picturing the aquarium or hugging this penguin calms me.
Why didn't I know this sooner?
No more short-term gigs this vacation.
Won't think endless saving is best.
No overspending, but like Coach said, I'll seek my fun.
First, treat Mom to something tasty.
Then maybe an amusement park someday. Earn more, shop clothes at a department store. On my birthday, buy a cake.
But... imagining parks, stores, blowing out candles—Coach is always there beside me.
Probably the aquarium's afterglow.
Without Coach, I'd still be wallowing, clueless about life's joys.
If my ex was like Coach, would I have suffered less?
That would've been nice... if I'd had a boyfriend like...
Someone like Coach...