Shadows of Guilt
"Sorry, unnie..."
"I told you it's fine. But next time those punks gang up again, you beat 'em down too! Don't just stand there taking hits like an idiot. Got it!?"
"Sorry, Coach..."
"Don't sweat it. It all ended with a mutual agreement, so it's good. They deleted all those videos they had, so they can't blackmail you anymore. If anything like this happens again, tell me first before you suffer in silence and cause a mess. I'm your coach."
"Okay..."
Eunjae kept her head hung low the whole way back to the dorm, her eyes glued to the ground.
Judging by the timing, those thugs must have been blackmailing her for at least ten days over this, but she hadn't shown a hint of it, so I had no idea.
Even though her practice attitude had improved lately, she'd been such a slacker before that I just figured she was slipping back into her old habits. It never crossed my mind she had some hidden circumstances.
I should've paid more attention, observed her closer, trusted her more.
Walking beside me on the other side was Yuna. She'd only gotten minor scratches fighting off seven guys, and unlike the dejected Eunjae, she strode ahead with her head held high, like some heroic knight.
No matter that I'd told her to follow Eunjae, without Yuna, things could've gone a lot worse. Eunjae wouldn't have been able to focus on practice in that state, and her form would've kept declining. I'd have just chewed her out more, thinking she was slacking without knowing why.
The method was pretty violent, but I couldn't help feeling grateful to Yuna for resolving it.
"Yuna."
"Yeah?"
"You did good."
"Ugh, you were teasing me at the station too, saying 'good job' all sarcastic! Trying to mess with me!?"
"No, I mean it literally. Good job."
"Ooh, beating those punks was really what you meant?"
"Not the beating part—the jumping in to help Eunjae without hesitation. If something like that happens again, don't try to handle it alone. Call me or the cops. It'll be harder to clean up later."
It might've actually been a blessing this happened while they were still in the academy league.
If it'd gone down in Division 2 or higher, no amount of cleanup could've saved them from an assault scandal.
"Honestly, if I were you, I'd have done the same. Charging into a 1v7? Impressive when I heard. And filming it for evidence on top. Smart head on those shoulders."
"What's with calling it impressive when we're only a year apart? Tickles. Anyone'd think you were some thirty-something uncle."
...I really was pushing thirty in my old life.
"The kids'll ask about the bruise on Eunjae's face and the scratches on your arms and legs, so don't go into details. I'll explain it to them myself."
"Huh?! No, don't! If the others find out..."
"They need to know. Otherwise, they'll think you were skipping practice to hang out with friends on weekdays. That'd tank teamwork. I'll keep it vague, don't worry."
"Okay..."
The stress from today must've hit her hard—Eunjae's speech still wasn't back to its usual playful lilt.
But regardless, there was one thing I needed to confirm.
The next day, Eunjae came to the meeting room where I was handling work. I'd called her in.
"You wanted to see me...?"
Her speech still sounded off, so her mind clearly wasn't fully back.
"Come sit."
She took the seat across from my desk.
This wasn't light chit-chat, so I set a serious tone.
"That video those thugs had at the station yesterday."
"......"
"That was really you in it, right?"
Eunjae's pupils trembled violently. Her arms shook as she bit her lip.
Thugs lighting a girl's hair on fire with a lighter to torment her. And Eunjae standing at the back of the pack.
I'd only seen that one clip, but psychos who film and carry around stuff like that for fun? They'd done plenty more.
If Eunjae had run with those thugs back then, this could happen again anytime. Worse, if victim testimonies blew up after we promoted, the team would be done.
To protect the team, I needed to know about her school days.
You're handling this well.
"......Yeah."
"When was that?"
"Second year of middle school... I think."
Three years ago. Not that long, and from the bullying's severity, the victim surely remembered it vividly.
I didn't want the team exploding from a school violence scandal later, so we had to settle this now.
As I grilled her for the full story, that damn status window kept dinging away like crazy.
Good progress.
Yeah, yeah, good job or whatever.
Brat, I have to do this to save the team anyway. No mute button on this thing?
"Any other kids besides the one in the video who got similar treatment?"
"Probably some. But I stopped hanging with them after, so I don't know about the others."
"You got a way to contact that kid?"
"Yeah. But why all of a sudden..."
"If you're tangled in school violence, you bow your head and apologize to her right now. Tell me everything those thugs did to her, and prepare a handwritten apology letter. Unless you want the team to blow up later."
Correct approach.
"Got it. I'll reach out to her."
"Yeah. Do it quick..."
I nodded, but something felt off.
Reach out? That didn't sit right.
"Huh? You have her number?"
"Yeah."
"You still talk to her?"
"Yeah."
"She picks up your calls?"
"Yeah."
...What the hell?
That Sunday afternoon, Eunjae and I were at a café in a neighborhood a bit far from the dorm.
It was where Ryu Sejin, the girl from the video, lived.
We'd barely settled at a table when a short, cute bob-haired girl pushed open the café door.
"Eunjae!"
"Sejinnie!"
The two spotted each other, rushed over, hugged tight, and clasped hands. No way this looked like bully and victim.
"It's been half a year, right? Hiiing, I missed you."
"Me tooo, Sejinnie. Seeing you like this makes me suuuper happy."
Eunjae's smile brought back her usual quirky dialect.
"Oh yeah, Eunjae! Look at this. Someone I met on Twitter drew Timi and Cecilia for me! See? So pretty, right?"
"Whoa, too cute. Wish I could draw like that too."
They chatted away in the middle of the café, then Eunjae remembered me and brought Sejin over.
"Oh right, Sejinnie. You know I'm a pro gamer now, yeah? This is our coach."
"Ah, hi! I'm Eunjae's friend, Ryu Sejin! Wow, Coach, you're so handsome..."
"Hello, Sejin. I'm Kang Yuseong, coach of Shining Star."
"So you two are on a date? Jealous! But why'd you call me?"
"Actually, I needed to talk to you about something. Sit first. What do you want to drink?"
"Whoa, you're buying? Then I'll have a Java Chip Frappuccino with no coffee but a little chocolate syrup!"
Specific order.
Once her drink arrived, Sejin happily sipped through the straw.
"Hehehe, yummy... So why'd you wanna see me?"
"It might bring up bad memories. You okay with that?"
"Um... Yeah... Probably."
"Recently, some so-called 'friends' of Eunjae's ganged up and blackmailed her with an old video. I saw one they had— you were in it. They were bullying you, and Eunjae was there."
"No way, that one..."
Sejin's eyes flicked to Eunjae, who bowed her head.
"Eunjae, you still down about that? I told you not to be."
"Still..."
"The bullying in that video wasn't minor. Sorry to pry, but we're here to apologize."
"No, Coach! Eunjae never bullied me!"
"Huh?"
"Is this gonna get her in trouble? Don't! I'd hate you if you did!"
"Can you explain?"
Insightful question.
I've had a talent for dancing since I was little.
Whenever I watched girl group dances on TV, I'd mimic them right away, and my parents were thrilled, saying their daughter might become a celebrity.
I joined a dance academy, caught my teachers' eyes, got into a special advanced class, honed my skills even more, and soon became the ace of the school dance club.
But getting famous for dancing instead of studies meant bad influences started hanging around me before I knew it.
They picked the dance club as a good spot to skip class, and hanging out led to us forming a pack.
That's when I learned to smoke. We'd ditch lessons sometimes. I thought they were my friends, that it was friendship.
But what they did went too far.
They'd bully weak kids for no reason, extort money, make them fetch food. Weekends and breaks, they'd party with delinquents from other schools, crashing for days.
I'd bail with dance audition excuses, but I lacked the guts to cut ties.
One day, their target was Ryu Sejin.
They rummaged her desk, found her practice setting notes for the novel The Adventures of Hero Timi, passed it around mocking the characters.
Sejin demanded it back, but they refused, imitating the characters stupidly to insult her.
Furious, Sejin threw a pencil case at one—sparking it all. Then they tormented her viciously.
Sejin started confident but grew withdrawn and depressed as it dragged on. I'd tell them to stop, but half-heartedly, too scared to intervene.
One day, they dragged her to the bathroom, kicked her, slapped her, even lit her hair "for fun." Seeing her roll on the floor trying to pat out the flames with bare hands—I snapped.
I blew up at them and cut ties.
Luckily, my dance rep and popularity kept them from targeting me.
I approached Sejin to apologize. She was wary at first, but my daily sincerity won her over.
Her novel The Adventures of Hero Timi featured Cecilia, an elf bard with a harp and beautiful songs.
"She's~ my favorite character. Her quirky speech is so cute, right?"
- Would I be cute if I talked like that?
- Huh? You're already pretty, no need to be cuter.
- Watch. Is this right? Am I cute now? Whaddya think?
- Pfft! Looks weird up close, but cute 'cause it's you, Eunjae.
Unlike their dumb mockery, I tried my best to channel Cecilia perfectly, and Eunjae loved it.
From then on, I mimicked Cecilia's speech—the elf Sejin adored most.
Hearing Sejin laugh washed away a bit of my guilt for standing by while those thugs hurt her.
But forgiveness or not, my cowardice demanded payment.
My Moon Priestess aerial clip went viral, and the thugs saw it. Then the calls started.
The first time I saw the video they sent after blocking them, the sky fell.
"Finally picking up?"
"What, sending that crap?"
"Don't be prickly. Wanna talk, meet soon."
"When's 'soon'?"
"Hmm... Hitting the beach with XX University guys this week, back Sunday? Catch up then."
"Sunday? Fine."
"Kim Eunjae! Meeting time! What're you doing!"
Coach's voice jolted me; I mumbled I was on with a friend and hung up.
Sunday, they blackmailed me with the video for cash.
It didn't end there. Calls ramped up, demands grew.
Skipping weekday practice from their threats? I wanted to die. Never dreamed bystander guilt would bite back like this.
When Yuna unnie showed and beat them senseless, I was shocked, sorry, but secretly thrilled.
Cops hauling us all? Panic city. Cut from pros? Video leaks? What about Sejin in it...?
Coach arriving felt like the end. He'd seen the video, sighed heavily while talking them down.
We settled somehow, but I dreaded getting fired today or tomorrow.
But Coach didn't cut me. Asked about the video's truth, wanted to meet Sejin. Apologize.
I was stunned but skeptical. Ancient history, unrelated guy—why bother?
He heard her full story from her side. Her pained face recalling it, his grim expression.
I wanted to crawl into a hole.
Now he'd see me as scum. Even if he was a tough coach, I didn't want human-to-human hate. Head down.
"I'm truly sorry, Sejin."
His first words after pierced my ears.
"Even if three years ago, not a memory you'd want revived—sorry for asking. And thank you for forgiving Eunjae."
How does he apologize so easily? It took me ages to muster the courage after watching her suffer.
How can he bow over something unrelated?
"It's fine. I still dream about it, lose sleep... But it'll get better."
Three years later, still nightmares? And me—not even direct victim—struggled to face her.
"Coach, please don't punish Eunjae for this... Huh? Eunjae, you're crying?"
Tears overflowed uncontrollably.
Two weeks of threats wrecked me; months of physical/mental torment for Sejin?
Regret for watching helplessly, my cowardice.
Coach humbly apologizing to a kid half his age over her pain.
All made me feel tiny, pathetic.
"Sorry... Sorry... Sorry... Didn't know you still dreamed... Hic... Sorry... If I'd been braver... Sob... You wouldn't hurt this much..."
"Eunjae, why... M-Me too... Hic... Tears... Hiiing..."
We hugged, sobbing.
As we parted, a hand rested on my head. Big, rough man's hand.
It gently stroked my hair, like a parent soothing a child.
"Relieved. You didn't bully Sejin. If you had, tough choice—but good. Took guts late, but you apologized, and she forgave you. Right, Sejin?"
"Hic... Yeah. No question. Only Eunjae apologized like that. Despite never hurting me. So don't cry, Eunjae..."
"Eunjae, don't bottle it up or carry guilt. You're forgiven."
His final words pierced my heart.
Bottled it up.
Hid the blackmail, dragged Yuna unnie in, made Coach clean up.
Avoiding Sejin prolonged her pain, nightmares even now.
Grew guilt from that.
Mimicking Cecilia to atone became habit.
A week post-fight, still couldn't meet Yuna unnie's eyes.
Hearing they hit clubs, I'd sneak to dance practice with unnies but bail early, kill time walking—didn't want to become like them.
But forgiven already.
Only we three knew; first hearing all sides, especially Sejin's thoughts.
Feared if she held grudge.
First time hearing direct forgiveness, someone defending me over it.
Confirmed what I'd buried.
Coach's words echoed in head and heart.
"Hic... Sob... Th-thanks, Sejinnie... Thanks, Coach..."
"Waaah... D-don't cry, Eunjae... I'm okay... Waaah..."
Sorry, Sejinnie.
Thanks, Sejinnie.
Coach, sorry for hating your brutal training. Didn't know you'd go this far for me.
And... thank you, Coach. For pulling me out.
Glad our team coach, the adult I met, is you. Relieved it's you.