Chapter 63: No Thanks to the Matrilocal Son-in-law Route.
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 63: No Thanks to the Matrilocal Son-in-law Route.
I briefly debated whether to help her clean up with a towel or just leave her there, but neither seemed like a good solution. In times like this, the best answer was always: "I don't know anything~!"
If I took more initiative, fostered some competition, and trained her better, I could probably use this perverted masochist vampire as my personal wallet while pretending to be knowledgeable. However, no matter how I looked at the situation, I could only see a future where I was captured and forced to become a matrilocal son-in-law.
Of course, someone like Alicia would make an excellent daughter-in-law. She didn't hit men, and I felt like I could live a life where I was the one doing the "hitting," so to speak. But life is long and there are many people to meet; I was simply too talented to lock myself into a single route just yet.
"Alicia Noona! Alicia Noona! Wake up! Wake up! You said you'd teach me about mana!"
I shook Alicia, who was slumped over and motionless, trying to wake her.
Cleaning up?
That was a task for the person who felt guilty. For the record, I felt no lack, no regret, and no fear. She could clean it up herself!
"Haa... haa...? Uh? Huh? Eek?!"
Alicia bolted upright. Then, as if to prove she really was friends with Camel, she looked around with a pale face at the "Great Flood" she had created—one that looked like it required an Ark.
"Y-you... j-just now..."
"What? Hurry up and teach me mana! You promised!"
Alicia’s red eyes darted back and forth between the catastrophe she’d caused and me. I was giving her a chance.
A chance to pretend that the ultimate perverted act—reaching climax while receiving a sumata from a little brat—had never happened.
"Right... I, I did promise. J-just a moment... I sweated a lot, so I need to tidy up a bit."
It was now practically confirmed that this vampire was hiding her intelligence. Alicia pulled a handkerchief from her subspace and began wiping the sofa, then snapped her fingers as if realizing something.
I felt a ripple of mana. The traces from moments ago vanished instantly, and Alicia’s translucent underwear was replaced by simple clothes one might wear around the house.
Her body was still flushed pink, likely from the lingering heat, but I pretended not to notice.
How cowardly.
"Even if you use mana, it won't really change much. Do you really have to learn?"
"What do you mean it won't change anything? I can beat Im Su-yeon!"
Alicia muttered Im Su-yeon's name a few times before nodding as she remembered.
"That incredible brat? It'll be tough..."
"Ugh! Just hurry up and teach me!"
"No, it's just that men have poor mana adaptability and low efficiency anyway..."
The vampire was starting to act cowardly again. If she was going to be like that, I had no choice.
"...I'm going to go play with Big Sister Camel. She plays with me better."
"No, I didn't say I wouldn't teach you! Besides, Camel is super busy lately! Okay? I'll teach you!"
Right, you don't want to lose me to someone else, do you?
I could see right through the vampire's shallow mind. I intended to possess, not be possessed, so I knew the vampire sister's dream would never come true, but I had to play along for now.
"Well, since you've consumed a Thousand-Year Ice Essence, you'll probably be better at it than most girls... Anyway, sit here."
Alicia let out a short sigh and lightly patted the spot on the sofa next to her.
"Yeah! And since I'm going to eat the Ten-Thousand-Year Fire Carp Inner Core too, I'll definitely be able to beat that Im Su-yeon girl, right?"
"There's no record of anyone consuming both, so I'm not sure, but your mana capacity will certainly be legendary."
It was heartbreaking to think about what kind of sin men had committed against the Goddess to be born without the blessing of mana.
Damn Goddess. Or maybe I should be grateful. This situation was likely why vampires, snow women, and dragons were all over me.
When I considered how well I could play the male whore, how great I was at being a fox, and how I'd inherited my mom's looks to become incredibly cute and handsome... I started to think that even without the gender reversal or chastity reversal, I would have been just fine.
I was starting to resent the Goddess.
"I don't know how to circulate it as fast as Hindel does, so it'll take a while. And since it's a method using blood, it might hurt a bit. Though, of course, you won't be coughing up blood or anything..."
"Just do it!"
I didn't mind coughing up blood. Despite how it looked, it just felt like a bit of heartburn to me, so I didn't think much of it—it was only the dragon and my mom who made a fuss.
Marika and the pets were all physical types and total cowards; ever since I coughed up blood once, they were the worst, refusing to help me for any reason.
They had taught me some useless mental cultivation methods and basic techniques, but they were worthless, so I decided to scrap them. I mean, if you're going to give names like Enlightenment Realm, Demon Transcendence Realm, or Profound Realm to things, and then teach me "Basic Martial Arts," do you think I'd actually want to learn?
I'd be motivated if they gave me something that sounded cool, like the Heavenly Demon Divine Art or the Violet Cloud Divine Art. If you heard names like Basic Breathing Method or Basic Training Method, you wouldn't want to learn them either, would you?
"You have to tell me if it hurts, okay?"
"Hindel told me not to speak when she was doing it."
"That's because he does it at an insane speed. I'm going to go slowly."
I held out my hand. Alicia flinched and pulled back slightly, but then cleared her throat and took my wrist.
She wanted to act like nothing happened, but she must have kept the "gift" of that memory, as she shivered occasionally in a way that was actually quite cute.
***
As I settled into this world of gender and chastity reversal with its skewed sex ratio, I began to understand a bit more about how this society functioned.
Surprisingly, many girls enjoyed playing with dolls, and it was common for them to be kicked out to the playground by adults or forced to play with certain toys.
In my previous life, there were progressive discussions about being able to choose one's own gender, but this primitive fantasy world was obsessed with fixing gender roles and trying to cram children into them.
"Girls aren't the only ones who play with dolls."
Our homeroom teacher started picking on us innocent kids.
"Yong-hwan said he wanted to!"
"Yong-hwan did it..."
The cowardly girls were blaming me.
Reason number one: Grasha had stuffed three princess dolls into my bag, insisting I carry around things she liked.
Reason number two: I was feeling gloomy because I couldn't have a transforming robot set battle today.
Reason number three: The rest of the class was showing an immense interest in the dolls.
Reason number four: As long as I held the initiative, I didn't care what we played.
"I'm sorry. My friends were just playing with me because I asked..."
"Well, you're young, so it happens. But if you play with things like this, you'll grow a penis, you know?"
"Eek?!"
The children covered their crotches with both hands, seemingly terrified by the teacher's blatant lie.
Normally, I would have engaged in a battle of nerves with the teacher over such insulting remarks and her attempt to provoke me, but who was I?
An. M.a.n.a. U.s.e.r.
I was learning the theory of basic magic, and after Alicia spent about three hours a day for a week circulating mana through my body, I had become able to move it to some extent on my own.
This was why connections and bloodlines were so important.
"You're learning faster than I expected."
Alicia, who was teaching me basic magic, scanned the formulas I had solved with a look of surprise.
"These basics are too easy! Next! Next! I want to shoot fire from my hands! Or lightning!"
"You can't do that, Yong-hwan. You need state permission to use those."
The vampire was talking nonsense again. It seemed one sumata wasn't enough. It felt like I'd have to pierce her cobweb-covered hymen before she'd actually teach me anything useful.
"Liar!"
"No, really. For power-type or fire-type magic, you have to use it only after receiving a state-authorized license. Otherwise, it's illegal. Which means... you'll go to prison."
Given that she mentioned prison, it seemed she was telling the truth. Of course, it made sense that there would be chaos if mages, who could be considered socially dangerous elements, just used magic however they pleased.
"Is it hard to get that license?"
"It's not hard, but there is an age limit."
"...Teach me water magic then!"
"Hey, listen. There's a magic that's much more fun and powerful than water magic. Want to learn?"
For some reason, she sounded like a snake oil salesman. It was suspicious as hell, but I nodded anyway.
"What kind of magic?"
"It's called Blood Magic, and it uses blood as a medium—hey, where are you going?!"
I immediately ran away from the lunatic talking crazy and locked my bedroom door.
"I'm not learning it!"
"No, it just uses blood as a medium! You fill the blood with mana, so it's efficient and looks cool! It's not dangerous! You can just use someone else's blood! It's safe!"
"I'm not learning it!"
"It's good for you! I'm telling you, it's really strong!"
"I'm not learning it!"
"Just listen to me for a second! It's a traditional and specialized magic passed down only in our Vega family! It's not dangerous or evil!"
"I'm not learning it!"
I knew the crazy vampire wanted to take me as a matrilocal son-in-law, but it was terrifying to think she was trying to teach me such ominous magic.
Even if it were a Demonic Art, I might have learned it if it were something cool-sounding like the Heavenly Demon Divine Art, the Lesser Demonic Art, or the Asura Demon Sword. But there was no way I was going to learn some creepy, inferior magic that used blood. It was obviously going to be useless.