Chapter 183: A Story You Really Didn't Need to Know
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 183: A Story You Really Didn't Need to Know
I kicked the sow's ass with all my might.
"Ugh...!"
I had loaded it with mana, added rotation, and even used the smooth joint-extension techniques I’d learned from those serial killer experts. Yet, seeing Yuseoha trembling her buttocks in delight made me feel almost... respectful of her dedication.
"Now, talk straight. Mom? Hmm? Well? Hurry up and tell me."
Before a sense of defeat could set in, I braced my spirit and ground my foot into Yuseoha’s head, rubbing it back and forth.
"Hehehe... Yessss..."
I couldn't see her face, but it was obvious she was smiling. Keeping her forehead pinned to the floor, I sat on the sofa and listened to her story.
"So... since the colonies are worlds where males are dominant... it’s strange, right? They use primitive gunpowder weapons, so physical ability usually determines the hierarchy..."
"Is it that hard to get to the point? Huh? Mom? Even if you're an idiot, a moron, and low-IQ, is it that hard to summarize?"
I stomped down hard on the back of Yuseoha’s head. Seeing as she didn't show a hint of pain, this frail-looking friend of my mom’s was definitely a monster in her own right. I only wished she wouldn't slide her hands between her thighs while I was doing this.
"Ye-yes...! I-I mean! It means the Goddess has bestowed a blessing upon women!"
This was information I already knew.
"Didn't you tell me this last time?"
"Th-that was... ju-just a teaser! In the case of the Demon Realm, which became a colony much earlier than Earth, females started being born with superior talent. Even on Earth, when you look at the averages, women have better talent..."
To summarize the gist of it:
"So, the Goddess's power reaches any dimension connected to a Gate. Is that right?"
"Ye-yes! It doesn't happen instantly, but there's a sort of influence... That's how they view it in the Kingdom of Balak..."
This sounded like classified information I shouldn't know. Was it okay for me to hear this here? This woman was subtly slipping back into informal speech again.
"If even 'Mom' knows about it, then the top brass of the Empire and the Kingdom must all know too, right?"
"Probably...? When we talked last time, there were statistics showing that children born from the seeds of colonial males tend to have poor talent..."
That was a thought-provoking piece of information.
"So, the Goddess is female. She favors females, but she's still providing some level of convenience to the males of this planet. Can we sum it up like that?"
"Yes!"
It was sad that I could only hear polite speech from her when I was stepping on her head. Anyway, I’d been hurling curses at the Goddess every chance I got, so I was starting to feel a little guilty.
No, wait. Why should I feel guilty?
"So you're saying it's the Goddess's fault I get bullied for having no talent?"
"Ugh... but our son actually has quite a bit of talent..."
Yuseoha started picking a fight with me.
"Hey! Who's 'our son'?! Speak properly, will you?!"
"Ye-yes! For someone like the Young Master, you have quite a lot of talent!"
I ground my foot into the head of my (self-proclaimed) Mom, who was finally using proper honorifics. A pervert who enjoyed this kind of thing was truly the worst. I curled and uncurled my toes, repeatedly gripping her pink hair between them.
"How much talent do I have exactly?"
"Uh, well... right now... maybe a 'normal genius'?"
I felt like I was wasting my time talking to this stupid, perverted, otaku musician. I took my foot off her head.
"Ah...! I'm serious... I'm being serious..."
I couldn't shake Yuseoha off as she clung to my leg, rubbing her cheek against my foot. Not because I felt sorry for her, but physically.
The Princess of the Undersea Kingdom was getting increasingly serious, and it was getting a little scary.
"The words 'genius' and 'normal' don't go together. The phrase itself makes no sense."
"Is that so...?"
Come to think of it, Yuseoha rarely went outside. Her only friends were weird ladies she met on the internet, and she spent her time writing delusional stories about a mother being broken by her son. It was obvious she lacked basic common sense, so I had no choice but to be understanding.
"Fine. Let's look at the human average on a scale of 1 to 100. Where do I stand?"
"Hmm... if we include men, 100?"
That was a good answer.
"If we include men? What if we exclude them?"
"Roughly... around 99?"
Excellent.
"Wait, no. If it's 99 out of 100, that means I'm only in the top 1%?"
"Oh, right...? Wait... I got confused because we're using points..."
Yuseoha's intelligence was truly regrettable. Of course, what would a pathetic princess who writes loser fantasies know about talent?
"Roughly... hmmm... to use Hindel's expression, you're at the very top among the Rising Stars...?"
She used a term that would be gibberish to anyone who didn't know the Murim world.
"So, I'm a rare talent that can be counted on one hand?"
"It's hard to put into words... Among the people I know, I think you're outside the top 30..."
"No, what... more importantly, you actually know thirty people? You, Yuseoha?"
Yuseoha looked at me with a hurt expression.
"I-I'm still... a-a very famous composer... a-and a singer... even if I don't meet many people... I-I'm a princess, so I know the nobles well..."
"Someone like Yuseoha knows thirty people?"
This was shocking news.
"Ugh... it's true... I-if I contact them... th-they'll recognize me immediately...?"
"Wasn't your concept that you don't speak because you have a Siren's charm or whatever?"
"No! I really do have a charm... I really do...! I... I definitely have them saved in my contacts..."
I felt like I’d hurt her feelings if I pushed any further, so I decided to drop the subject of her friends.
"So... in the eyes of a 'Mom' who has almost no friends or acquaintances, I can't even make the top 30?"
"Most of the kids I know are royalty or incredible people... even Ame... barely makes the top 10..."
"If a sow like her is in the top 10, shouldn't I be number 1?"
Yuseoha's eyes wavered.
"B-but... A-Ame is... she's your r-real mom... c-calling her a sow is..."
"A sow is a mom. A mom is a sow. You're the one who taught me that, Seoha... But today, you're acting strange. Your head is a bit high, isn't it?"
"I-I'm sorry!"
Yuseoha pressed her forehead to the floor. This person was good at staying in character, but she was too erratic with it, slipping in and out of it whenever she felt like it.
For the sake of my own sanity, it was better for this friend of my mom's—who was also my friend and consumed by her own roleplay—to just play the role of the 'Sow Mom' properly.
"Is Mom really that incredible?"
"Mhm... she's the daughter of Lady Degrain, after all..."
She seemed to be talking about my grandmother. There was no point in discussing talent any further with Yuseoha. She was a princess who claimed to be a shut-in writing fantasies, playing some low-IQ character who couldn't speak in front of others because of her 'charm.' Getting a proper evaluation from her was impossible, so it was more rational to change the subject.
"Everyone seems to keep quiet about it, but what exactly does my grandmother do?"
"My mom is... the Queen of the Kingdom of Balak..."
"Not the Sow Mom, I mean my mom's mom."
I stepped on Yuseoha's head again. The sensation of her pink hair tangling between my toes was, to be honest, a bit addictive.
"Lady Degrain is... a war hero..."
"She calls herself a war criminal, and Mom says the same. When I looked her up, she's someone who doesn't even show up in searches."
"That's because... the United Kingdom lost... and the Empire won...?"
I didn't need facts that everyone already knew.
"I'm asking what exactly she did to make her name unmentionable. I'm basically an adult now, aren't I? Tell me."
"Ugh... Ame will be mad at me..."
"And you think I won't be?"
Yuseoha hesitated before carefully opening her mouth.
"Well, you see... she... annihilated six knight orders...? Or was it eight?"
"...By herself?"
With her head still pinned down, Yuseoha nodded skillfully. Normally, one wouldn't notice, but as a seasoned foot master, I could tell.
"How many people are usually in a knight order? About 40?"
"It depends on the era... but back then... about 300?"
It seemed my grandmother enjoyed killing quite a bit.
"...She certainly killed enough for people to be reluctant to mention her."
Eighteen hundred to twenty-four hundred people. That was a staggering kill score.
"She also cut off Hindel's wings..."
"He went around calling himself her rival, and he got trashed like that?"
"Mhm... and... three Imperial Mountain Ranger brigades... and one or two army groups from the Demon Realm garrison...? I also heard she killed a massive number of people during the border scorched-earth operations..."
"She killed all of them? Alone?"
"I heard she commanded the Demon Realm garrison and the scorched-earth operations..."
This was beyond common sense. I was starting to wonder why they even let my grandmother live. No, I felt like applauding my mom for having the nerve to walk around so boldly as the daughter of such a psychopathic mass murderer.
"Wait, they call her a Swordmaster and all that, but is it really possible to slice through thousands of people?"
"Well... Lady Degrain isn't even a Swordmaster... And in her case... she also enjoyed the act of killing... This is just from the war with the Empire. If you count the number of people she killed in the wars before that... it would be dozens of times more."
I felt like I’d just heard a story I really didn't need to know. There was a reason Mom never mentioned it. If it were me, I would have been too ashamed and kept it hidden for the rest of my life.
I decided that the next time I saw my grandmother, I should be extra polite.