Chapter 73
Chapter 73
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 73
Chapter Title: ???
(This side story is from Lee Jun-woo's perspective during the main story episodes EP1~EP3.) Regret was like the waves of the night sea.
Silent, yet endlessly crashing in, continuously dragging me under.
Thoughts that always began with "Why did I do that?"—one led to two, two to three, no, four.
The countless thoughts that kept surfacing had grown unbearably heavy before I knew it.
So I couldn't even breathe, just gurgling and drowning.
But what tormented me most wasn't struggling, buried in those thoughts.
It was the unbearable agony that spilled water could never be gathered back up. Agony upon agony.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Though past events can't be undone...
I couldn't stop the vain wish flickering in my mind: if only I could go back.
The day of the fire.
After barely rescuing Han Seo-ah from the blaze and getting her into the ambulance, a call came from her aunt.
The first emotion that hit upon taking Aunt's belated inquiry was rage.
Did I need someone to blame?
The rootless fury that the person I loved had been alone, badly hurt—nearly died—ridiculously turned toward her aunt.
A little thought would have shown me that a parent's anguish over their injured child couldn't be any less than mine.
Stupidly, I raised my voice. "Why did you leave Han Seo-ah home alone? Why didn't you tell her to stay at our house?"
No reply from Aunt, who just wept silently. As I geared up to shout louder...
It was like cold water poured over my head. One possibility surfaced.
Would Aunt really not have told Han Seo-ah?
We were longtime neighbors—sleepovers at each other's houses were routine whenever one set of parents was away.
Did Han Seo-ah not know I was avoiding her?
Han Seo-ah, who knew me better than anyone, just as I knew her.
No way.
As the puzzle pieces clicked into place one by one, my knees buckled, and I sank to the floor.
That day... if I hadn't stupidly taken offense at Seo-ah's words that we knew each other too well.
That day... if I hadn't stupidly stumbled home and just confessed my feelings to Seo-ah honestly.
After that day... if I hadn't lacked even the courage to face Seo-ah and just avoided her like an idiot.
If only I... hadn't fallen for Seo-ah.
Sorry. For not seeing you as just a friend—for liking you.
Sorry. For not even hiding that one feeling properly, like a moron.
Unable to forgive myself, I wept right there. And wept again. Until my tears ran dry, with nothing left to shed.
I was a moron—thoughts too shallow, words too heavy, actions too foolish.
Couldn't even tell the girl he loved, "I like you."
And as a result, hurt the person he loved. A complete moron.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ With what face could I face Han Seo-ah now? I'd avoided her before—now, of all times.
She'd suffered severe burns but, fortunately, no threat to her life; she was hospitalized. After agonizing over it...
I decided: meet her... and apologize.
And whatever she threw at me—anger, disappointment, anything—I'd take it gladly. With that resolve, I left home.
Following the unfamiliar path to her room.
I knocked on the door with trembling fingers.
What face would she make? Get mad, probably. The moment I opened the door, thinking that...
"Hi, Jun-woo... long time no see. Do I look hideous?"
Seeing Han Seo-ah struggling to greet me, I was speechless.
My earlier worries—she might be mad, disappointed—felt ridiculous.
Han Seo-ah wasn't even in a state to feel such things.
Her words, expression, actions toward me—all radiated unmistakable, profound sorrow.
My love.
My one and only love.
Was crumbling.
"You... okay, sob... okay...?"
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That day, cradling my love, I wept endlessly and vowed again and again.
To atone for life, living only for her—my beloved.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The bell signaling the end of the last class echoed through the classroom.
Cold.
I wrapped my scarf tight around my neck against the biting chill. To hold onto what little warmth I could.
This winter was brutally cold.
Fully geared against the freeze, bag in hand, about to stand...
Kim Seung-hyun grabbed my shoulder.
"...Lee Jun-woo, heading out again today?"
"Gotta."
Words without subjects.
But we exchanged them naturally, knowing exactly what the other meant.
"Hey, I... tried not to meddle, y'know? I get you and Han Seo-ah a bit. Can guess how you feel. So I stayed out of it, but this can't go on."
His sudden seriousness filled his face—worry for me plain as day.
I'd thought he only pulled goofy grins or ugly mugs.
Who knew he could look like this? And that I made him. A lonely pang hit me.
"...What're you on about? Let go, I'm leaving."
"Hey, Lee Jun-woo... you're great, so devoted to Han Seo-ah. But seriously—when do you look after you? Decent face aside, nothing special, yet you're moping around daily, dead-eyed replies even when talked to. After school, kids go hang out—you're hospital commuting every day."
Kim Seung-hyun unloaded like he'd held it in forever, then sucked in a big breath.
"What, stranded on some island? Why? Bluntly—it's not your fault she ended up like that. Don't you deserve a break?"
His words "not your fault" left me silent. Couldn't respond.
To a friend truly worried for me, all I could muster was the forced smile I'd perfected these past months.
"Hah, damn punk. Don't pull that crap in front of me. Might Falcon Punch your face..."
"...That bad?"
"That bad, damn it."
Awkward, I scratched my jaw.
Better watch it around Han Seo-ah. Don't wanna get chewed out.
"Anyway, clear your winter break. Me, Park Jae-hwan, you—three of us, 2-night trip."
"Busy that day, probably."
"Haven't even said when or where, asshole. Look at this guy—rejection's your reflex."
".........I'll consider it positively."
"Won't even say 'over my dead body I'll go,' asshole. Whatever—consider it done. Clear the time. Skip it, you're dead. For real."
"Positively..."
"You fucking...!"
I bolted from Kim Seung-hyun, mid-curse barrage.
Today's sermon from him, but Park Jae-hwan probably thought the same.
Figured they were fine, treating me normal.
They'd been thinking that.
"Sniff."
Suddenly down, I snorted.
It's fine. I'm fine. I was fine.
[Han Seo-ah] -Just left school. Be there soon. -Yes! Waiting (rabbit sitting still emoticon) Even through text, her excitement bled through—I chuckled. Waited all day, huh?
In my heart, an unheard apology to those two idiots, Kim Seung-hyun and Park Jae-hwan.
Sorry. Probably can't make the winter trip.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Following the now-familiar path, I reached her room soon enough.
Deep breath.
I'm fine, I told myself.
Knock-knock—knock!
First two gentle, last a touch firmer.
Used to be just knock-knock. But she got upset it blended with visitors', so our special code—just for Han Seo-ah and me—from her cute pout.
Carved it into the door today; a bright voice called from inside.
"You're here? Come in, Jun-woo!"
"Yep, here today too~"
Looked like she'd been reading. But at my arrival—like no more need, or done with her task—the book snapped shut.
Han Seo-ah greeted me with a beaming smile, like it was the natural order of things.
Every visit, that look—like a puppy who'd waited forever, tail wagging at full throttle.
Watching it, the thoughts clogging my head moments ago melted away. A smile tugged at my lips unbidden.
"That happy I'm here? You'd think you were a dog."
"Yeah! Super happy."
She used to scold me for jokes like that. Now she grinned ear-to-ear, like I'd stated the obvious. Words caught in my throat.
...Not a dog—a fox.
"...Han Seo-ah, running a fever? Lemme check your forehead..."
"Today was boredom central... Rehab's killing me..."
"Sheesh, I'm not a boredom bot... How long's rehab? Discharge soon, right?"
"Hing, gotta keep coming even after... You'll come with, right, Jun-woo...?"
"...Obviously. If you behave."
"Hee, then I'll be a good doggy. Woof woof!"
Hands wiggling like paws, coquettish as if truly a pup.
That bright smile just for me—too cute. I burst out laughing, puhat.
Cute was cute. But more than that, relief.
Right after the accident, even facial expressions hurt from her changed looks.
Now, laughing and playing cute in front of me. Like she'd escaped the nightmare. It filled me with joy.
Yes—relief.
No accident, no matter how big, could steal this girl's beauty.
To me, she was still the most beautiful, cutest Han Seo-ah.
I hoped she'd keep smiling like this forever.
Because I'd always be right here.
Too close for childhood friends. One step shy of lovers.
That was us.
......Which made her looming discharge all the more anticipated.
That day, I'd close that final step.
Convey the feelings I couldn't before.
That was my vow.