The Weight of Regret
Seunghyun gasped, his breath coming in ragged, heavy hitches.
This feels incredible...!
In the end, he couldn't hold it back; he was so aroused that pre-cum was already leaking out in a steady stream. The more he told himself he shouldn't, that he had to stop, the more a dark, nameless emotion—perhaps guilt, perhaps a thrill—fueled his excitement even further. His mind was so completely consumed by the singular urge to release that tension right then and there.
Had she peered into his heart? Or was it all written plainly on his face? Ain, her eyes half-lidded and crinkling into a playful smile, shook her hand, which was wrapped firmly around his cock, with even greater intensity.
Squish, squelch. The sound was so wet he worried it might be audible on the other end of the phone. She even let a drop of saliva fall onto the tip of his urethra, as if to offer a service, and for him, it was maddening, enough to drive him insane.
“Ain-ssi…, I, now……!”
“It’s alright. Please, continue.”
“Ugh……!”
“We can handle it, so you don't need to worry.”
I’m going to cum!
His ejaculation gauge had reached its absolute limit!
He could feel the thick, viscous semen surging from his testicles, rushing toward his urethra. If he relaxed his tension even a fraction, it would surely pour out, and if that happened, it would get all over Ain-ssi! His eyes darted around, looking for a tissue or something to catch it, when—
“Ah, just a moment.”
“……?!”
Suddenly, she pulled the hand holding the phone away and took his cock, which was on the verge of firing, into her mouth with a soft *mwah*.
An unexpected ambush.
At the moist, searing sensation enveloping his glans, an image of a stopper being pulled from his mind flashed before him.
*Phwut!* Thick, scalding semen erupted from the tip of his glans. Every time his cock spasmed and twitched, jelly-like white fluid filled her mouth to the brim. The volume was so immense that she couldn't handle it all at once, and a little bit sprayed out through her nostrils, but she didn't panic. She just gulped—*gulp, gulp*—bobbing her throat as she swallowed the semen accumulating in her mouth.
Despite the density, which was thick enough to cling to her throat, and the sheer quantity, when she opened her mouth again, not a single drop remained.
“Haa, haa…, *ahem*, yes, I’m sorry! I choked for a second, yes, yes, no, I’m fine.”
“…….”
A sense of refreshment and emptiness. A gentle, peaceful smile, like that of an enlightened Buddha, spread across Seunghyun’s face after he had finally let it all out.
He had clearly done something he absolutely shouldn't have, so why was his heart feeling so calm and light? It was as if he weren't being crushed by the weight of his sin, but rather, he was spreading the wings of that sin and soaring through a sky of relief…. Even he thought it sounded like nonsense, but regardless, he felt as refreshed as if he’d finally relieved a week-long bout of constipation.
“Yes, yes, I’ll be right there. Yes.”
After the call ended, Ain let out a low sigh and then—
“Ughhhhh……?!”
She slumped into her seat as if she were sinking.
“I, I’m so sorry! I couldn't control my excitement, and, well, this is, um, I’m sorry!”
“……No, well, I couldn't stop it either.”
He had managed to get off quite pleasantly, so he didn't feel right accepting her apology. All he could offer as comfort was to tell her it was a joint effort and that she shouldn't worry too much about it. Whether that was actually comforting, he couldn't be sure.
Fortunately, he was able to get Ain to lift her head, which had been drooping low.
“Please don't worry about it too much.”
“…It, it was, a reward.”
“A reward?”
“You gave me such a pleasant caress, so I wanted to make you feel good too, and your cock looked like it was struggling, and, well….”
Did it feel good?
Seeing her glance at him sideways, her face flushed with shyness as if she were asking that very question, Seunghyun felt his heart skip a beat. *Thump.*
She was cute.
She was so adorable that he momentarily lost himself, forgetting entirely that he was a married man with a wife. Just thinking that such a cute girl had sucked his cock made it twitch, as if it were trying to get an erection all over again, as if by magic.
It was the first time he’d ever felt like he wanted to hold a woman other than Jia.
“…It felt good.”
“Hehe, that’s a relief~♡”
“……!”
Cute! I want to hold her! His primal, masculine side was whispering for him to take her. But when his rational side conjured Jia’s smile in his mind, he calmed down as if he’d been doused in ice water.
Right, no. No matter how much Jia allowed it, there was a line. It felt like he had already crossed it several times over, but still—the final line… even though he’d crossed that one a long time ago, anyway! He managed to calm himself down with the inner cry of a sage: *You must not cross it of your own volition.*
“You have work to do, right? You should go.”
“Ah, yes! They asked me to double-check something.”
The rest was nothing special. While Seunghyun checked the phone he’d been recording with to see if the video had come out well, Ain changed into a spare pair of stockings and put her clothes back on. To an outsider, she looked perfectly normal, as if nothing had happened between them just moments before. Since she’d even used the deodorizer she’d brought along, it was truly the perfect crime.
“Are you alright? Is anything out of place?”
“My makeup hasn't smudged, my hair isn't messy, I’m fine.”
“Is there any smell on your breath?”
“…No, there isn't.”
He’d been worried about the smell of semen, but unless she burped, it seemed unlikely anyone would notice. Still, when he asked if she wanted some gum just in case, she pulled out some Xylitol, saying she had some on hand. Her actions, which betrayed the hardships of an office worker, left Seunghyun unable to say anything, and he just twisted his lips into a bitter smile.
“Would you like one too, Seunghyun-ssi?”
“I’m fine. ……Um,”
“Yes?”
“It might be a bit late to ask, but may I ask you one thing?”
“Ah, yes.”
At the look on her face, which seemed to ask what he wanted to know, Seunghyun struggled to get the words out, feeling a bit uncomfortable even though he was the one who’d brought it up.
“Weren't you… disappointed? In a man who refuses, yet gets an erection without any integrity. Even if my wife gave me permission, still….”
“Ah…, I suppose one could think that way.”
“Yes?”
“I didn't even think about that because I didn't want to miss a rare opportunity.”
Even if she had thought about it, nothing would have changed, she said, continuing with a soft smile.
“I’m the type who regrets things often. *What if I had done this? It would have been better if I’d done that!* Among those, I have so many regrets like, *I should have at least tried back then.*”
Because of her passive, unassertive personality.
“So, I always tell myself: *Even if it doesn't work out, let's at least try!*”
“…….”
“Well, that doesn't mean I don't actually regret things, ahaha…. But it’s better than not doing anything, missing the moment, and then comforting myself by saying it couldn't be helped, only to regret it later. When I found out you were a married man, and when I realized I’d done something terrible, I did feel regret, but like this—right now, I’m with you, Seunghyun-ssi. If I had just given up without trying, I wouldn't have had this opportunity.”
“…….”
“So I decided to just go for it and regret it later. I thought that would be better for me than not doing it and regretting it. Even if I fail, it can serve as a foundation to succeed when another opportunity comes along.”
Don't regret it later without even trying. Those words pulled the massive nail that had been driven into Seunghyun’s heart out in one go. A cool breeze blew through the large hole that had opened in his chest, which had felt so tightly blocked.
Seunghyun let out a small, involuntary laugh. *Pfft!*
“It’s embarrassing. I’m not the kind of human worth being loved by a beauty like you, Ain-ssi….”
“Even if you put yourself down, Seunghyun-ssi, my feelings won't change. Until the day I give up completely—no, even after that, you will remain a precious person who changed me.”
Saying that didn't mean she was giving up, she left that final, firm remark and walked ahead with quick steps. She seemed quite embarrassed by her own words, as her face was flushed red.
“…Don't regret without trying, huh…….”
Seunghyun carved those words deep into his heart, thinking they were truly what he needed to hear right now. Right. Instead of looking away, saying it was too difficult or wouldn't work, he would think about how to overcome it. That was surely the path to a happier future for himself and for his beloved wife, Jia.
Just then—*Bzzzt!*—his phone vibrated in his pocket.
What was it? He pulled out his phone to check who was contacting him, tilting his head in a mix of anticipation and confusion when he saw a message from Jia.
It wasn't a call, so it couldn't be anything urgent. Was it related to Ji-wook? Thinking it might be an NTR report photo, like the one she’d sent right before he boarded the bus, he checked the message with high expectations.
He wondered just how incredible the photo or video would be this time—
“……Huh?”
But, betraying his expectations, the photo in the message made Seunghyun freeze.
An unfamiliar background, an unfamiliar man, and his familiar wife, captured in a photo with that man….
Seeing the photo of Jia looking friendly with some fat man, Seunghyun couldn't help but ask.
“Who is this…?”