Air Conditioners Steal Ice Mages' Jobs (5)
The momentum had been mine, but the ending was pitiful.
"Ugh……"
The male student who'd strutted around like a peacock in front of the girls now stood before me with puffy, swollen eyes, clutching his collar in my grip.
His judgment may have been poor, but his capacity for learning wasn't bad — barely a few blows in, and the moment I raised my hand he flinched and curled into a ball.
His fighting skills weren't actually terrible, mind you.
Even rotten, he was still a student of the Imperial Capital's prestigious academy, and he fought reasonably well.
It's just that his opponent was the problem.
Me? I stood over 180 centimeters tall, held a 5th dan in kendo, a 7th dan in judo, a purple belt in taekwondo, a 3rd dan in aikido, six years of boxing…… and so on and so forth.
As you can see, I was essentially a living weapon. When someone picks a fight with a living weapon, his defeat was a future already written.
"So? Ready to surrender?"
"S-surrender……"
I released the grip on his collar. The male student, who had been hovering in the air with his feet unable to touch the ground, dropped onto his rear with a thud and toppled over.
"Ah, ahh…… I think— I think something's broken."
He wasn't even badly hurt. What a drama queen.
I extended a hand toward the fallen boy. He eyed me warily, then reached up with a trembling arm as if to take it —
Slap!
"Whoops."
I smacked his hand away. The male student stared up at me, utterly dumbfounded.
"Who said anything about helping you up? This is me demanding compensation."
"C-compensation?"
"That's right. If you hadn't come out here picking a fight, my fist wouldn't have had to hit your face and get hurt doing it."
"What kind of twisted logic is that……"
"Hmmm?"
I raised my palm. The boy covered his face with both arms and cowered.
I didn't hit him, of course. I am, after all, an intellectual capable of resolving conflicts peacefully through dialogue.
Perhaps my sincerity got through to him. The fallen student rummaged through his pockets and handed over a few gold coins.
See? Everything goes smoothly when you just talk it out.
"I-is that enough now?"
"No."
"No? What else could you possibly—!"
"Pay for my coffee. It might've gone cold because of you."
The boy's lips jutted out like a goldfish's. How thoroughly cowed must his parents have raised him for his masculinity to be this thoroughly neutered.
Those lips were so infuriating that I slapped them with my palm while he was still digging through his pockets.
"Now are we done?"
"Yeah. Get lost."
The male student spat out some stock third-rate villain line — you'll regret this, you won't get away with this — barely audible, and vanished. For the record, the female students who had followed him out had long since scattered like cockroaches the moment he started getting beaten, so he limped his way home all alone, poor thing.
Having gracefully defused the trouble that had come looking for me, I headed toward the alley where the blonde girl had fled earlier. I even waited a while on the off chance she might circle back, but sadly, she did not. In that empty alley, all that lingered was the faint afterimage of the girl.
The next day.
"She's not here."
The day after that.
"Not today, either."
The day after that.
"Still no show…… At this rate, I'm going to end up a regular at this coffeehouse."
I'd spent almost a full week camped out in the same coffeehouse, waiting for the girl who sold dolls on the street. I sat there so persistently that I was eating both breakfast and lunch at the coffeehouse, and yet not so much as the tip of her nose appeared.
The reason was probably those academy students I'd met that day.
Suddenly I was angry. I should've taken out more of my frustration on those bastards.
"Haah."
Deciding that further waiting would be nothing but wasted time, I stood up.
"Leaving early today?"
It was the waitress, striking up friendly conversation now that we'd seen each other's faces for days on end, as I handed back my tray. I nodded.
"Will you come tomorrow? If you do, I'll throw in free coffee and cookies!"
Free today, and free tomorrow too? My eyes sparkled at the offer. I'd originally planned to stop coming after today, but I supposed I'd have to drop by tomorrow just to show my face.
"Sure, why not. Though — why do you keep giving me free stuff? It's suspicious……"
When I tossed back the question with a playful grin, the waitress laughed behind her hand and tapped my arm lightly.
"It's because of you that we've got so many customers. Haven't you noticed the seats are all full? The academy students come flooding in every lunch hour, apparently."
This was news to me, but apparently I'd become something of a house specialty at this coffeehouse over the past several days.
Ah, so that's why there were so many women around.
So it was all because of that. It hadn't been my intention, but supposedly the shop's revenue had climbed considerably over the past week thanks to me.
As a token of gratitude, the waitress pressed a basket piled high with desserts into my hands as I left, and I accepted it without protest.
I'll have to give this to Muriel when I get home.
I didn't head straight back, though. That morning, a messenger pigeon had arrived from the Morne Merchant Guild requesting a meeting, so I planned to stop by before going home.
When I arrived at the guild, Morne herself was waiting for me. I settled into the sofa of the luxurious room she ushered me into, and she began to speak.
"We've detected movements among the mages aimed at pressuring our guild."
Morne set a teacup down before me, one hand modestly covering her cleavage.
Her tea-brewing technique was no amateur's. At this level, she might rival or even surpass me — and I take my tea quite seriously.
I sipped my tea and asked, "Specifically?"
"Attempts to collude with other merchant guilds to cut off our supply chains, and the cancellation of contracts by the mages working with us — among other things."
It stayed well within the range I'd expected. Morne, too, had clearly braced herself for this much; there wasn't a trace of impatience or flusteredness in her voice.
"This is a list of the goods we've investigated as likely to become difficult for us to handle going forward."
Morne handed me a paper marked with checkmarks. A rough glance told me that about half of the goods the guild currently dealt in would become hard to sell thanks to pressure from rival guilds.
Fast movers, aren't they.
The mages' influence ran deeper than I'd anticipated.
"We're devising countermeasures in our own way, of course — but when we signed our contract, I was told you could offer solutions to problems of this nature as well. Might I hear the distinguished opinion of Mage Owen?"
Was that one of the things I'd tossed out during the air conditioner negotiations? I couldn't quite remember, but answering her request posed no difficulty. I'd already seen a problem-free future back when Muriel was telling me all about frost magic as I drew up my plans to sell the thing.
"The solution is—"
I said it with absolute conviction.
"—to sit back and do absolutely nothing. Then everything will resolve itself."
The mages were cooperating, sure — but not because any genuine bond existed between them. They gathered purely out of self-interest. Theirs was nothing more than a web of debts: every mage leaving favors unpaid, banking on a future day when they'd be the ones collecting. For a relationship so ruthlessly calculated around profit and loss, bringing about its collapse was no difficult task at all.
All I had to do was hand the frost mages a loss, and the other mages a profit to match.
Now then, let's think.
The chill mages had a seasonal monopoly on all that sweet summer money. Would the other mages really feel no jealousy toward them? No greed for the fortunes they were raking in?
"The mana stones that power the air conditioner — recharging those is work any mage can do, no?"
In other words, I would simply offer every other mage the chance to take a share of the frost mages' revenue.
When I added this explanation for Morne, who still looked only half-convinced, she made a small sound of realization — "Ah."
Yes.
If I absolutely had to put a name to this plan…… it would be 'Kill Each Other, Starting Now.'
Kill each other, starting now, mages. Over your own rice bowls.
Partway up the Cold Magic Tower, a balcony jutted out from its flank.
From that vantage point overlooking the Imperial Capital, the chill mages were enjoying a banquet, brimming with confidence in their victory.
"A guild of that piddling size trying to steal our rice bowls out from under us — it's absurd, no matter how many times I think on it."
Clink.
Wineglass met wineglass with a clear, elegant ring. One mage, face already flushed with drink, gulped down his wine like water.
"We've squeezed the guild into submission, so once summer passes they'll collapse before long."
"We ought to grind them into the dirt so thoroughly they can never rise again."
"Quite right."
"And that mage — Owen, whatever his name is — we'll deal with him at our leisure."
Just as the elder chill mages raised their toasts—
the balcony doors burst open, and an Apprentice Mage of the Cold Magic Tower stormed in. He'd evidently sprinted the whole way, collapsing to one knee and gasping for breath. The mages turned unpleasant looks upon him.
"No one gave you leave to enter. What is the meaning of this?"
The Apprentice Mage bowed at a perfect ninety degrees.
"My apologies! There is urgent news I must deliver—!"
"Tch. Out with it, then. What is it?"
"Another magic tower has applied counter-pressure to the guilds our tower has been squeezing!"
"What?"
In an instant, the festive atmosphere of the balcony plummeted into dead silence. The mages set down their wineglasses, and every gaze in the room locked onto the Apprentice Mage. An Elder Mage slammed his fist onto the table, veins bulging at his temple.
"What nonsense is this! Why—! Explain yourself, and be precise!"
"From what we've gathered, they've declared they will sanction every guild that bows to our Cold Magic Tower's will!"
"What? How can this be? Who in the world would—?!"
"That would be……"
The Apprentice Mage flung the letter he'd been clutching out into the open air. Moments later, the fluttering sheet of paper abruptly burst into flame without warning, transforming into a grinning devil's head that hovered before them. It leered mockingly at the furious frost mages, and spoke.
"Ke-hahahaha! You greedy Frost Mage bastards! Enjoying your little monopoly all summer long, are you?"
"Well, good news — you can look forward to fair competition with us Fire Mages from now on!"
"Ah, but wait — no one comes looking for you in winter, so we'll sit that season out. My, my. I can hardly wait for winter!"
The burning apparition let out a roar of contemptuous laughter, then scattered into a flurry of ash and was gone.
The Fire Mages' betrayal — or, as you might call it, an early round of teabagging.