A Dose of Manners
"……."
"……."
In the midst of hundreds of pairs of eyes falling silent to watch, Beneo turned toward the drake.
"El. Don't make this difficult."
Thwack! Thwack! The drake responded not with words but by slamming its thick tail against the ground a few times. Shockingly, terrifying cracks spiderwebbed across the hard-packed earth. I couldn't help but swallow hard.
"……If there's a stable available, I'd appreciate you lending us one."
"Ah, yes. O-of course."
Lenia, the second daughter, quickly summoned a knight and assigned him to Beneo's side.
"We'll take our leave first."
"……Yeah."
Ardella nodded once with a somewhat dissatisfied expression, and Beneo headed off with the knight Lenia had assigned and the drake named El, pulling the carriage gradually out of sight.
It was only after Beneo had completely vanished from view.
"Wow, looks like she's trained it really well. That intercepting move is just like its owner."
"……That one's owner isn't me—it's Beneo, adventurer Siron."
"Who said anything? I know that already, so why get all prickly?"
"Lenia. Let's go inside."
"Pardon? Ah, yes. I'll guide you."
Siron sniped back, and Ardella's eyes narrowed. Lenia, who had been glancing around nervously, hurried her steps, and Ardella moved first.
"Whoa."
"Come on, Smith."
In an instant, Ardella was right in front of me, grabbing my hand and following Lenia. From behind came Siron's indignant "Ha?!"
I rolled my eyes to glance at Ardella, and for the first time in a while, I caught her signature hazy smile.
Anyway, once Ardella started moving, Kernax quickly fell in behind her, followed by the still-grumbling Siron and Giena.
We passed through the unnecessarily grand doors and entered the castle. Expensive-looking paintings and decorations caught my eye, along with the luxurious red carpet underfoot. It looked just like a medieval castle straight out of a movie.
But what surprised me most was—
"Miss."
The maids—no, butlers—in neatly tailored suits, with impressively ample bosoms.
"Is everything prepared?"
"Yes. We're ready to move to the banquet hall at your word."
"Good work."
Lenia let out a short sigh and turned around.
"Lady Ardella. Allow me to guide you to the guest quarters first."
"Very well."
As Lenia nodded, the woman who had been whispering to her earlier stepped forward.
"This way, please."
The woman bowed politely to Ardella and turned toward the upward staircase. Ardella followed, still holding my hand.
"L-Lady Ardella?"
"What is it?"
"That man…?"
Only then did Ardella's gaze shift to me. Her jewel-like blue eyes fixed on me for a moment. The hand gripping mine gently released.
"Lenia."
"……Yes. I'll see to it personally."
"You had better. Smith. See you later."
Ardella turned away, and as the woman ahead resumed walking, the two disappeared into the distance.
"Um, adventurers?"
Siron and Giena turned their heads. Lenia said with a slightly troubled expression,
"To be frank, you weren't on the schedule, so we don't have rooms prepared. Would it be alright if the two of you shared one?"
Siron nodded. But Giena, beside her, raised a hand slightly.
"I'm curious how far it is from the room assigned to Smith."
"Lady Kernax and your group will be on the fourth floor. This gentleman will have a separate room on the fifth, same floor as Lady Ardella."
"Hm. Understood."
"……So you're fine sharing a room?"
Giena nodded. Lenia nodded too. I thought to myself, compared to the haughty eldest daughter, the second daughter Lenia was so polite it almost felt apologetic. Whether it was just manners drilled into her by Ardella or not, the way she'd answered everything so earnestly without a single frown suggested her usual behavior was probably the same.
Butlers stepped forward for Kernax, Siron, and the others. Leaving behind "Please follow me," and "This way," they slowly ascended the stairs.
"Sick… freak. If anyone tells you to follow, don't."
"Exactly. Stay put in your room for now."
"Smith… Behave yourself."
With Lenia and some butlers watching, the three gave me their respective warnings before heading upstairs. Honestly, it was mortifying. I wasn't some kid.
"Bring Melvin."
"Yes, miss."
The butler who received Lenia's order vanished in an instant—not too fast, not too slow.
"……."
"……."
Lenia the second daughter, two butlers, and me. An awkward silence flowed.
About five minutes passed by my navel clock.
"……H-He's a bit late."
"Ah, yes."
I nodded with the softest smile I could muster. After sitting in that comfy carriage the whole way, standing actually felt more comfortable now.
"Um… what should I call you…?"
"Pardon? Just Smith is fine."
"Ah, yes. S-Smith… sir."
I barely suppressed a cough. Even without a title, she was nobility. Hearing a noblewoman add "sir" to my name was disorienting.
"No… that's a bit much. Just Smith is fine."
"No, no. Regardless of status, anyone to whom House Filoria grants a symbol deserves noble treatment in House Biorin as well. Please don't mind."
"……Yessir."
If she insisted, I had nothing more to say.
Then, footsteps echoed from the stairwell behind.
"You called for me, miss?"
Along with the butler who'd left earlier came a cute-looking boy of small stature. His head came just below my chest.
"Why were you so late?"
"Hehe, I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night."
The boy scratched his head cutely and smiled softly. Lenia's expression hardened.
"You think that's an excuse?"
"No, miss. I didn't mean to be late, but Lady Lania called me out last night, so I had no choice. If you're upset, I'm truly sorry. That wasn't my intention."
The boy named Melvin bowed at a perfect right angle in apology. But Lenia's face remained stiff. She looked like she had more to say but was holding back because of me standing there.
"……Never mind. Escort this important guest to the second guest room."
"This is him, right? Yes, understood."
Only after nodding repeatedly did Melvin approach me.
"Please follow me."
"Alright."
Twitch. I saw it. For a split second, the skin under Melvin's eyes trembled.
Melvin quickly schooled his expression, turned, and climbed the stairs. I followed.
Maybe because we didn't exchange a word, we reached the fifth floor in no time. Plush carpets lined the wide corridors—wide enough for three guys my size to lie down without touching.
We walked until the boy stopped at a door. He opened it naturally and entered. I followed.
Click. As I entered, the boy waiting beside closed the door.
I slowly looked around the room. It was outrageously luxurious. Far more opulent than the top suites at Bambino Garden in Molingta.
"Country bumpkin vibes."
"……?"
I turned. Melvin was standing with legs spread cockily, glaring at me with an arrogant sneer.
"What kinda man's got a build like a chick? Fuckin' huge, dude."
The boy clicked his tongue and walked toward me, circling me while eyeing my clothes and shoes.
"Looks like they dressed you up in fancy shit 'cause they baby you. Still last season's trends, though."
The boy rambled to himself, chuckling "kukuku." I wondered what the hell this was.
"Hey. Cat got your tongue? Why not yap in that casual tone like before?"
Thud. The scrawny twerp—who'd crumple with one hit—nudged my shin with his foot and tilted his head.
"Uh, may I ask your age, by chance?"
I asked politely, wondering if this guy might actually be older than me.
"I'm fifteen, what age you talkin' about, asshole?"
"Oh……."
Good, he was a whopping eleven years younger than me.
"Oh? Oh? You fuckin' nuts? Don't think we're equals just 'cause we're both here. No matter how much designer crap you pile on, I see right through it. You're a desert slave, obvious as day."
I nodded vaguely to collect my thoughts.
"Unlike a disposable slave like you who'll get tossed when they get bored, I'm an elite servant selected after brutal trials. Got it? The difference between you and me."
The boy, who'd left manners somewhere else, smirked and slinked to the bed, flopping down. He twisted to look at me.
"Figured they'd have me play errand boy till slave boy leaves. But there's lines, y'know. Can't have a slave waiting on me."
He sat up, swinging his legs dangling off the bed.
"So let's play smart. Don't expect shit, just stay quiet till you go. Oh, but if I slack too much, little miss or the other butlers might nag, so I'll chill here too. Bed's mine, obviously. You crash on the sofa."
I raised a hand slightly to the boy eyeing me like "Got it?"
"What? Got somethin' to say?"
"Are you, perchance, insane?"
Did my words piss him off? The boy's face crumpled instantly. If the chance came, I'd show him his body could crumple just as easy.
"This slave fucker's lost it. I was bein' nice 'cause you're a guest… That's why slaves need a whipping every three days."
"Whoa."
I was genuinely shocked. It reminded me of our noble homeroom teacher back in school, who'd grab his thick disciplinary rod and whack truants every three days, saying it'd straighten 'em out. The memory of padding my ass with books only to get it on the thigh—fresh as ever. One hell of a shitty memory.
Any longer listening to this dwarf wannabe, and I'd inject manners without thinking. I waved him off.
"Cut the bullshit and get out. Or big bro here's gonna beat your ass."
"……Ha."
The dwarf snorted in disbelief and got off the bed. I thought he'd finally got the message and was leaving.
But no.
Slap—!!
Shockingly, he slapped his own cheek, self-injecting manners. Rubbing the swelling red mark, he dabbed spit on his finger and patted under his eyes, scowling.
"I was gonna let it slide 'cause I pitied you deep down, but nah. Beyond slave shit, you need some male discipline."
Eyes now misty, he marched up and looked up at me brazenly.
"Kneel and lick my shoes right now, and I'll let it go."
"……And if I don't?"
"You'll be in deep shit. Even your loving master will despise you."
"Hm."
Quite the intriguing threat.
"I'd like to hear the specifics."
"Heh heh, finally scared?"
Since I used polite speech, he grinned and continued.
"If not, I'll bust outta here screaming. Tell the crowd you slapped me for no reason."
"Oh…… That sounds terrifying."
"Heh heh, guest or not, if big miss—who got my special service last night and loved it—hears I got hit, she won't let it slide!!"
"……?"
I blinked. Big miss—did he mean the eldest daughter, who controlled her anger so well?
"Isn't Lady Lenia the mistress here?"
"Formally, yeah. But what can ya do? Commoner blood, second daughter. Watched a few days—she can't even squeak at big miss."
"I see."
"……Wait, asshole? Casual speech again? Didn't you hear? I got big miss's favor last night?"
The boy glared up at me, eyes bulging. Clearly clueless about today's events.
I lightly tapped the head of this pitiful boy whose manners were worse than the drake's.
"Big bro'll let it slide this once. Now scram."
"……."
The boy's face twisted grotesquely.
"Ha… Gotta get beat to learn, huh. Tsk tsk. Filthy slaves are hopeless."
He shook his head, opened the door, and stepped out. Glancing side to side, he grinned back at me.
"Aaaah!! H-Help!!"
Melvin clutched his cheek, collapsing in the hall and wailing at the top of his lungs. Without forgetting to peek at me.
Ruckus echoed around—footsteps rushing up at the screams.
I slowly walked toward the cheek-clutching, collapsed boy.
He grinned tiny and whispered, "What, begging forgiveness now? Too late, it's over—gurk…!!"
His head slammed the floor. Simple reason—I'd flicked a manners knucklebomb.
Old saying: If you're really guilty, no injustice. So I became guilty. How unfair to be accused of hitting without hitting? So I hit.
"Aaaagh!! M-My head!! Y-You crazy slave…!!"
"Hm. One shot's not enough, huh."
Siron would've learned in one, but frail me needed repeats. Since I'd started, I grabbed the collapsed twerp's collar to lift for another.
Right then, the next door opened.
"……Smith?"
Over the flailing boy's shoulder, I saw Ardella—eyes wider than usual.
"What…?"
Behind her, somehow already there, was second daughter Lenia.
Ardella, slightly startled, asked me,
"What are you doing?"
"Uh, well."
I glanced at the boy glaring hatefully while flailing, then moved my hand.
"Guek—!!"
Ardella's and Lenia's eyes widened further. I slung the limp boy over my shoulder.
"Just… injecting a bit of manners?"
"……."
"……."
Ardella's and Lenia's eyes turned ice cold.