Shake Shake Awakening
My sleeping body rocked back and forth against my will. Thanks to that, the fog in my head cleared up fast. Blinking my crusty eyes open, I caught sight of Siron wrapping a towel around her damp hair.
"You fucking moron. Quit snoring and go wash your damn face."
"......Urgh."
I stretched out long and hauled myself up. That carriage seat—plush enough to smack both my cheeks and still feel like heaven—was seriously addictive, like some kinda drug.
"Ugh, look at this drool."
"Mmfph."
Siron wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth with the towel she'd been using on her hair, without me even noticing.
"Now get out there and wash up."
"Yeah."
Siron stepped aside, and I hopped out of the carriage. What hit my eyes first was this massive, crystal-clear body of water—lake? River? Didn't matter, it was huge and pristine. All around it, vibrant green flowers and trees sprouted fresh, putting on a real show for the eyes.
"Good morning."
"Good morning to you too, Giena."
True to her elf roots—or whatever—she looked human enough, but there she was perched on a tree branch, a couple tiny birds nesting right on her head. Giena gave me a light wave.
I stretched my back one more time with a satisfying crack!, then headed to the water's edge. Squatting down, I splashed my face with the insanely clear water—you could see straight to the bottom.
"Ahh~ Ahh~ Feels so damn refreshing."
The words slipped out like some old uncle's grunt, but hell, the water was ice-cold and pure. Felt like it was doing wonders for my skin right off the bat.
"Done? Come eat."
"Comin'~"
I shook the water off my face and stood. Turning around, I saw Siron back from the carriage, holding a blue glass bottle and a wooden bowl filled with dried bread chunks.
I took the bowl like it was routine, and Siron uncorked the bottle, pouring its contents in. Fresh, chilled milk filled it up, soaking into the dry bread till it puffed right back to life. For the finishing touch, she uncapped a leather waterskin and drizzled in a bit of honey.
Talk about luxury breakfast. Not gonna lie, I was the only one getting this treatment. Siron and Giena made do with the guild rations, and Beneo—who was doubling as our driver—hell if I knew what she ate. Two days out from Molingta, and she'd only spoken at startup, drake rest stops, and campsite picks. Otherwise, not a peep from her.
I shoveled the bread and milk into my mouth like a vacuum. Truth was, none of them gave a shit what I ate, but I sure as hell did. First day, I'd gotten chewed out by Siron and Giena for wolfing it down—could choke, bad for digestion, all that common-sense crap. I told 'em I'd stop if they ate with me, and surprisingly, they let me inhale my food from dinner that night on without a word.
Why didn't they join in the feast? Simple: rations were prepped for one person—me. Part of me wanted to blame Millia's screw-up, but from Siron and Giena's reactions, it was no accident. Sometimes in spots like this, I couldn't help thinking: thank god I'm a guy.
I scraped the bowl clean, then headed back to the water to rinse off the milky film clinging to it.
Grrrrowl.
"Whoa."
As I leaned into the carriage to stash the bowl, a drake rumble echoed from up front. I tossed it aside and headed toward the beast.
Grrowl...
"There, there."
I gave the drake's head a big stroke. Its scales were surprisingly cool and not too rigid—decent texture, actually. I didn't hate doing it.
For context, this picky bastard only let me pet it because on night one, it spotted me taking a piss outside and kept twisting toward me. Freaked me the fuck out—I thought it was gearing up to attack, ditched the piss mid-stream, and bolted back to the carriage. Beneo, from the driver's seat, motioned me out. I dragged Siron and Giena along for backup.
She mimed petting the drake's head, pointing between me and it till I got the hint. After a few confirmations, I gulped and stroked it. Result? Same as now. It purred like a happy cat, thick tail—thicker than my thigh—swishing lazily.
"That fucker... might not even be an animal."
"Drakes are mana beasts close to monsters to begin with."
"......Who doesn't know that?"
Siron and Giena bickered softly behind me.
Grrowl, grr.
The drake shook its head side to side like enough already. Clear likes and dislikes on this one. Anyway, satisfied petting meant green light to roll out, so Siron, Giena, and I climbed back aboard.
Door shut, Beneo slid the window open from the driver's perch.
"We'll hit Kallione Village by dinner. Assuming no hiccups, that's where we'll link up. Keep that in mind."
She slammed the window shut after that. Jerk—the carriage lurched forward.
Then Siron and Giena on either side latched onto my arms tight. My arms buried in their cleavages screamed bliss... nah, truth was, after I flailed like an idiot and tumbled around at the start of our first ride, they were keeping me anchored.
Soon we hit the road proper, picking up speed. Pinned between those soft cushions, I stayed steady no problem. Whatever magic and artifacts were slathered on this thing made unpaved mountain paths feel smooth as silk—no bumps, no noise.
We just hauled ass nonstop, eating and sleeping aside. Two days post-Molingta, evening of day two, we were closing in on catching Kernax.
"Sorry for crashing here on short notice."
"Nah, don't sweat it. It was an empty room anyway."
"We'll head out early tomorrow, so make sure the villagers stay calm—spread the word again."
"Who'd make a fuss when the lord's knights and soldiers wanna stay? Any bitch who does, I'll smash her skull myself."
"Haha, please don't."
Kernax couldn't help a chuckle at the wrinkled old village chief rolling up his sleeves. The chief grinned back and dropped his arms.
"Anything else you need, just holler. Village has everything but menfolk."
"We're good. You rest up too, chief."
"Got it. Good night."
The chief bowed lightly and left. Kernax finally sighed, plopping her ass on the stiff bed.
"Not sure if it's right for me alone to crash here..."
Tiny village scraping by on forest mushrooms—no inn, obviously. So leader Kernax got the chief's spare room; the rest pitched tents outside for camp.
Fittest and solo-mounted, it only bugged her a bit. But when deputy Rina said, 'Captain, you're making us uncomfortable staying here,' she surrendered and bunked solo.
"......Worried about both of 'em."
Kernax sighed thinking of Smith—who hadn't woken before they left—and Siron, who'd gone to the temple with Giena and come out looking sour.
Slap!!
Suddenly, she smacked her own cheek with her gauntleted hand.
"Snap out of it, Kernax. Soldiers come first right now."
She rubbed the reddening spot, stood, and stripped off her greaves, setting them neatly on the bed before easing down.
The chief, puttering in the kitchen, spotted her.
"Need something?"
"Not really—just point me to the well if there's one nearby."
"Washing up? We got a small bath."
"Nah. Wanna check on the troops too. Just the well."
"Right this way."
Kernax followed the chief's directions out. Truth? Total lie about checking troops—they'd have tents up and dinner going; didn't wanna cramp Rina's style by showing face.
"Ah!! Captain!!"
"......??"
Heading from chief's house to the well, lantern in hand, Kernax blinked at approaching Rina.
"Report?"
"Nope. Just figured you'd be lonely."
"Unnecessary worry."
Her mouth corners twitched up anyway. Rina caught it, grinned, and sidled up.
"Hot. Don't cling."
"I'm hot too? Where you headed?"
"Cooling off quick."
"Ah, lemme tag along."
Kernax narrowed her eyes at the pest clinging to her side.
"......Not into that."
"......Why not?"
Rina shot back a face she shouldn't dare on a superior. They stared awkwardly, then walked on slow.
"Village so small, it's dead quiet, huh."
"Pretty boys waiting at home? No reason to wander."
No fun stuff aside, the hush came from every household having exactly one man. How many women per? Kernax had no clue. Just knew from chief chat they got along freakishly well.
Rina grumbled mid-stride.
"......Regretting city life now."
"Common lament."
"Sigh... Coulda stayed home picking grapes, maybe worked things out with that asshole Aison."
"Next leave, head home and sort it."
"......That fucker little sis wrote he's shacking up with Jena and Maria already."
"Oof......"
Kernax scratched her cheek awkwardly. Never cared for men herself, no clue how to console a subordinate's man woes.
"Agh, damn city boys. Pretty faces, but why so bitchy? Brush an arm and they freak—ugh, standards through the roof."
"Mm..."
No interest or attempts herself, Kernax barely knew if city guys were that prickly. Her guy knowledge? Guild clerks on jobs (now shipped to capital) or local shopkeeps. All knew her rank, looks drew 'em in friendly-like. Nothing like what rank-and-file griped about.
Rina glared crab-eyed at Kernax's lame reaction.
"......Must be nice for you, Captain."
"Wh-what's nice?"
"Hooking a sweet, loving guy like Smith."
"That's... yeah."
"Nooo, deny it here!!"
Rina flushed at her boss's agreement, pounding Kernax's side with fists. Kernax just grinned sheepish, taking the cute tantrum.
A few punches in...
"......Rina."
"Y-yes?"
Rina blinked up from her pummeling.
"Noise outside. Trouble brewing."
"......Huh?"
Rina strained her ears. Nothing. But Kernax's stone face made her swallow hard.
"Bandits?"
"Doubt that many want limbs hacked off. Better check eyes-on."
"W-wait, Captain!!"
Rina chased Kernax bolting into the dark—but outclassed in stamina and skill, she lagged from jump. Legs burning solo, noise finally hit her ears way later.
"What the hell's going on?"
No clash of arms, so not dire—Rina sighed relief first. Catching breath, she pushed toward troops gawking like at a spectacle, walled up tight.
"What's the deal?"
Shaking shoulders got blank stares, weird faces fixed ahead. Rina scowled.
"These bitches nuts?"
Wanna kick shins bad, but clueless on the fuss inside? Couldn't risk it. Taller and she'd peek easy—but pint-sized in the unit, Rina grimaced, shoving through the blockade.
"Fuckin' hell. Payback later."
Memorizing unresponsive faces, she wedged hands in, clawing inward against choking sweat-stink. Bursting free, curiosity killed swapped for utter what the fuck horror.
"Smith......"
"Sorry, Kernax."
"N-no, my bad..."
"Nah, mine more..."
Rina spat a thick loogie, face twisted.
"Goddamn bitches."
She vowed deep: next leave, snag a man for sure.