Dinner at the Guard Captain's House
"We'll be waiting for your next visit."
"Ah, yes."
I receive the polite yet not overly formal greeting from the female staffer and step out of the inn.
"So this place is called Bambino Garden."
Back when that honey-haired girl asked if I was a Bambino employee right in front of the inn, I thought, What kinda shitty name is that? But seeing it now, it actually fits pretty well. Perception's a hell of a thing?
Clink clink. I tuck away the silver coin pouch Siron left for me, cherishing it close to my chest, then head toward the east gate, figuring that's where the guard captain might be.
"Wild boar skewers, three silvers each!!"
"Come one, come all—this ain't an everyday deal~ Wards off bad luck…."
"Hey, cute bro~? Check out this bracelet?"
Sure enough, the east street is buzzing way more than the others. I don't know about elsewhere, but here, as long as you pay the guard station's stall tax, you can set up shop anywhere on the street. New carts pop up and vanish daily, keeping the place lively.
"Come to think of it, the security here's pretty damn good, huh?"
Sure, petty incidents happen non-stop, but the guild sees fistfights ten times a day—that shit doesn't even count as a crime here. I've been hanging around for almost four years now, hitting five soon, and the biggest uproar was the public execution of those black-robed slavers who kidnapped me. Or public punishment, whatever. That's it for major drama.
"Wait, is it really that good?"
Thinking back, I wandered dark alleys hunting for a smithy with a fat coin pouch on my belt, and not one woman picked a fight or tried to hassle me. Not just that—running errands all over, I never got grabbed, framed, or nearly hunted down in some shady spot. Sure, the stares were blatant with raw lust, but no one forced themselves on me or groped without permission.
What the hell? Now that I think about it, something's seriously off.
Even those bitch slavers who sold me got sexually harassed by female adventurers all the time, but slave-boy me? Zero harassment.
"Hmm… this is fucking weird."
"What's so weird?"
"Huh? Uh?"
A crisp, no-nonsense voice snaps me out of it. I look up to see the guard captain—blonde hair suiting her perfectly as always—standing there.
I must've been lost in thought, but somehow made it to the east gate guards without issue. Not bad, me.
"What's up? You looked a bit dazed."
"No, nothing. I was just walking, lost in thought, and suddenly you're right here—caught me off guard."
"Hmm… is that so?"
No sooner do I finish than her face stiffens slightly, and she subtly touches her cheek and eye area.
"Ah, don't get the wrong idea. 'Off guard' means literally surprised. A beauty like you popping up out of nowhere? Bad for the heart, honestly."
"B-Beauty…? Ahem! So… what brings you here?"
Her face stays stiff, but a faint blush colors her cheeks as she glances at me with a cough.
"If you're here to leave the city, turn back. Can't allow it."
"Haha, you think I'd come for that? Nah, I'm here to see you, Guard Captain."
"Me…?"
"Ahem!— It's getting noisy around here. Let's move somewhere else."
"Yes, ma'am."
I pretend not to hear the other guards yapping and follow her into the tent right next door.
Thick blankets on cots, plump cushions on chairs—it's set up so guards can crash anytime.
"Sit wherever's comfy."
"Ah, yes, ma'am."
I drag over a chair and plop down. Sadly, even this beats my room's bed for fluffiness.
"So…? Why'd you come find me?"
"Ah, didn't we have a dinner date? Came to ask when you're free."
"Cough!"
"Guard Captain?"
"No, just… a cough."
She tries hiding her flushed face, forcing a calm look, but those blue eyes shake like crazy—can't fake that.
"Right… we did. But thinking about it, it wasn't that big a deal. No need to…."
She's trembling—not kidding. Her face turns beet red, like someone dumped paint on it.
Screech. Thud thud thud! Chairs scrape as she stands, and multiple sets of feet bolt outside. Her face burns even redder.
"……."
"……."
Awkward. Painfully awkward. I'd bull my way through if I were the embarrassed one, but she's got zero immunity—can't even sit properly, just glares at the dirt.
No choice. Didn't wanna go this far, but this vibe'll kill us both.
"Guard Captain, do I rub you the wrong way or something?"
"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What?! N-No, not at all…!!"
"Then why dodge our dinner date?"
"N-No, it's just… I don't think it was worth a meal…."
"I want to treat you. Still no?"
"……That's… not… it."
Her usual bold, forceful voice shrinks to a squeak, like a mouse in its hole.
"So you'll have dinner with me?"
"……Fine, since you insist… yeah."
"Great."
"Ugh…."
She slumps back into her chair, scrubbing her face with both hands.
"Tonight work for you?"
"……Yeah."
With her subordinates blabbing outside, she knows there's no escape—nods obediently.
"Any menu prefs?"
"Whatever… up to you. No—cheapest place…."
A sharp whoosh zips past my cheek. Right then, a guard's death rattle echoes from outside.
"Stay here. Don't come out."
"……Yes, ma'am."
I grip the chair's thick armrest—snapped it without noticing—and watch her back as she storms out. Then I close my eyes quietly.
Heavy thwacks mix with dying gasps, crafting a gruesome symphony in my ears.
"Hoo… showed you an ugly side."
"Not at all."
I snap to attention at her voice behind me, spine straight. A faint, metallic blood scent wafts in on the breeze.
"Right. Dinner. Tonight. At my place. Got some good meat left."
"Ah, got it. Should I cook?"
"We'll see. Wait here a sec."
She heads out again.
She leaves, and thunk! thunk! thunk! shovels pound even into the tent. One word from her, vets yell, rookies scream digging—a vicious cycle drags on.
"Smith."
"Yes, ma'am!!"
Like a fresh recruit, I leap from the chair at her call.
"I'll fetch you when I'm off. Adventurer's Guild?"
"Yes! At the guild!!"
"Got it. Rest here till a guard calls. Duty first—see you tonight."
Her footsteps fade out the back. I stand a bit, then collapse into the chair with a long sigh.
How does someone flip like that without a mask? Scared me so bad I nearly pissed myself.
Guess I forget this world's women sometimes treat me too nice, overlooking the food chain. These guards? Pretty, sexy big sis types on the outside, but Earth-wise, they're buff dudes with blades standing strict watch.
Earth bros stay human-shaped, but some here casually shatter that—Siron for one, and now the captain too.
Still no clue what whizzed past my cheek and sniped that guard.
"This… ain't the picture I painted…."
The thwacks and gasps still echo, chilling my spine.
Outside erupts again. My heart's a mess too.