Chapter 290: Growth of Two Lifetimes and Growth in an Instant
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 290: Growth of Two Lifetimes and Growth in an Instant
"Finding the answers within myself..."
Leaving the psychological counseling room, I instinctively glanced back. My impression of the place had changed since I first entered, but the cats were gone, as if they had never existed at all.
Perhaps those kittens were merely illusions, yet the tactile sensation of stroking them had felt so real.
Setting everything else aside, if this had been a simple first meeting with Witch Dinah, I would have thought her an exceptionally talented, gentle, and empathetic psychologist. But the fact remained that I had been lured here under false pretenses, which reminded me of Teacher Ji Niang.
My first meeting with Teacher Ji Niang had been equally high-pressure. I had feared her ulterior motives, her potential designs on me, and the sheer weight of the unknown. But after getting to know her, I realized that even a self-proclaimed Transcendent-level witch was... just like anyone else, possessed of her own emotions, thoughts, and pursuits.
Was Witch Dinah the same?
Those eyes of hers, which seemed capable of peering through my very soul, felt more terrifying than my own Spirit Vision. Even if my Spirit Vision could see through the "Real World," Dinah’s eyes seemed to see through the human heart. No one likes having their secrets laid bare before another.
In that sense... Dinah didn't seem like a particularly qualified psychologist. At the very least, she made me feel a sense of distance, compounded by an information asymmetry. She seemed to know so much about me, while I knew nothing of her. She was like a black cat, exuding mystery even while sitting perfectly still.
All I knew was that she loved cats, was the boss behind the Witch Cat Cafe, and was a consultant who rarely opened for business. And then what?
She was like an ordinary person—or rather, a cat—observing human emotions.
She treated emotions as seasoning, savoring them and finding joy in the tasting.
But I treated emotions as tides—something to be respected from a distance, watching the ebb and flow from the shore.
Actually, I’d made it quite obvious, hadn't I? I get nervous in the face of others' passion; I remain a cold bystander in the face of their anger, sometimes even meeting it with a smile. I am not an expressive person; I am a spectator—a fool who cannot translate thoughts into a vocal outcry, a coward who turns grievances into blades to stab myself.
Witch Dinah was right. I couldn't say goodbye to the past. I had come to a new environment, which looked like a fresh start, but it was like giving a trillion dollars to a poor man who had no idea how to spend it.
I had come to the Witch Academy, yet I was still living in the same old way.
Thinking back, what did I hope to become?
A cute girl who could act spoiled... someone who could speak her mind freely without worry... someone with many friends...
But the current me was still living like my old self. I didn't know how to act spoiled, I didn't dare speak my mind, and I certainly hadn't become a girl without worries. To this day, I still had no friends!
Perhaps in my last life, I could have said: Sorry, it was my first time being human, and I lived like a dog. But this is my second time, and I’m still the same. That makes it my problem.
That was why Dinah gave me that answer... to find the answer within myself.
Had these two miserable lives offered me any revelation?
I had consumed countless bits of "chicken soup for the soul," and I understood that most children with psychological issues were products of their family and environment. I seemed to be no different.
But I also understood what it meant to be "strong." The will of the strong does not become decadent just because the environment changes or becomes harsh. Therefore, I knew that my family's misfortune was no excuse for failing to become strong.
I would subconsciously cast myself in the role of the "strong," but what if I was never strong to begin with?
Or rather, is anyone truly strong at the start?
They say the environment shapes the hero. A person's life is like a parabola, with a starting point, a peak, and an end.
There is no "undo" button in life. By the time one can look back and reflect, they are usually in their twilight years, powerless to change anything.
Perhaps this is a truth only Transcendent Witches with eternal lifespans can truly see through.
They can experience the equivalent of countless ordinary lifetimes, constantly reflecting and summarizing. As long as they live long enough, they will see through everything.
My mind was filled with these echoing platitudes, and only now did I realize how toxic they were.
They force their perspectives on me, making me want to believe them.
But they don't explain the facts, nor do they guide me to think about why things are the way they are.
So... thinking is truly important.
Thinking isn't just about blindly rejecting those viewpoints; it's about considering why such a viewpoint was proposed in the first place, and then inducing the answer you actually want.
I wanted to know what a "strong person" was. Is it someone who remains unchanged despite the hardships of their environment, or someone shaped by that environment? What happens when these two opposing views collide?
Is a strong person simply strong, and trials only serve to make them more powerful?
No. A trial is just a trial. Strength is internal. A trial merely reveals an internally strong person to the world. To the strong person themselves, the trial is meaningless.
Therefore, the strong do not like, nor do they crave, the evaluations and commentary of others.
Those who chase the opinions of others, hoping for someone to acknowledge them as "strong," are putting the cart before the horse. On the contrary, that behavior stems from an extreme lack of self-confidence.
Even if two people possessed identical power, only the former would be truly strong, not the latter.
Sometimes, understanding a concept is one thing, but putting it into practice is another.
Thinking it... and doing it. The Unity of Knowledge and Action.
It seemed like such a simple principle.
Inexplicably, I thought of what the Dean had told me: the spell Unity of Knowledge and Action was not as simple as it appeared on the surface.
How was it not simple?
I didn't know, but I would try to find out.
I had always assumed the "complexity" the Dean mentioned referred to the derived effects of the Unity of Knowledge and Action spellbook. But now, it seemed that wasn't it.
My use of this spell usually involved mental concentration or Spirit Language Suggestion.
But I had never suggested "Unity of Knowledge and Action" to myself. Just like the name of the spell, the feeling was like a revelation. The moment I thought of the spell, I knew I was thinking about the right thing.
The moment the spellbook's effect took hold, I felt my own consciousness rise above my emotions—even above my own thoughts.
It was as if, in this moment, my emotions and thoughts could no longer sway my consciousness. Those cluttered feelings and the toxic platitudes forced upon me were suddenly sorted with crystalline clarity.
In this moment, I realized I had been using the Unity of Knowledge and Action spellbook all wrong. It wasn't a tool to help me improve efficiency; it was a tool for introspection and self-examination to be used alongside meditation.
Some spellbooks might not list a usage threshold, but those who are unqualified will never be able to unleash their true power.
It was like a mirror. On the other side of the mirror, a fully dissected version of myself was presented to me. All that remained was for me to decide how I should change.
Is that why this spellbook is called Unity of Knowledge and Action?
I cannot choose my birth, my family, my environment, or even my world. But I can choose who I want to become.
It doesn't even have to involve the external environment.
Previously, I was afraid because I didn't understand the world around me. I was debating whether or not to pursue greater power. Only after learning about the disorder of the Void did I resolve to prioritize gaining strength.
But now, things were different. The Void is just another environment. Perhaps it will be my future stage. Even if it’s a terrible environment, will that stop me from exploring the Transcendent domain?
It won't. It reminded me of those lunatics from the Fourth Life Elucidation's Profane Revolution. No matter how the external environment changed, it didn't interfere with what they wanted to do—even if it meant making an enemy of the entire Void.
That is the proof of an extremely powerful heart. Even before he had grown to his full potential, he was the same. He wouldn't be afraid just because of a difference in level.
Is that what I want to be like?
Perhaps. But I still want to live with my own style. In my last life, when I was a child, I wanted to be a scientist. Maybe I was just parroting what others said, but that’s how many seeds are planted.
In the end, life crushed me. But I was given a second chance. This time, I have touched the Transcendent. That seed seems to be sprouting amidst the decay. I still want to be a "scientist"—a scientist who researches the Transcendent. And the first step is... to become someone who masters Transcendent power, to earn the qualification to study it.
This was my original intent. Stripping away everything else, stripping away all other thoughts—what Witch Academy? What classes? What exchange of interests? What script?
So many things suddenly seemed unimportant.
My self-study efficiency far exceeded that of the classroom. Because Teacher Ji Niang recognized my value, she didn't want me wasting time idling in class. So, even though I was in the Witch Academy, I had course exemptions.
And now, my value far exceeded expectations, even catching the Dean's eye. Even if I am in this world, trapped in a script, I will eventually sever those so-called Ley Line Shackles and escape the control of the script—and even the world.
It had nothing to do with power; it was just a calm realization that this is how it should be.
But this required a deeper level of understanding. If you have no power and no value, yet you think you should escape the script, no one will give a damn about you.
This was a judgment that could only be made after having a clear goal and a clear recognition of one's own value.
If I didn't have the value provided by Spirit Vision, but I had this state of mind, this cognition, and this composure, I would feel that I deserved to be sucked in as cannon fodder. However, I would still seek advantages and avoid harm, improve my own value, and find ways to escape control rather than doing nothing but complaining.
That is the true meaning of "the strong do not complain about their environment."
In this moment, as I left the room, I felt as if my control over my own body had improved significantly. If I were to face a life-and-death struggle in a dream again, I wouldn't fight with that same hysterical, madman-like desperation. I would use the most ideal methods to find the optimal solution... and I would remain composed until the very end.
When I began to criticize my past self, I knew I had grown. Yet all of this seemed to have happened in a single day.
Can someone really grow in a single day?
Yes. As long as they understand. No... as long as they understand what they need to do.
I can't maintain this state of rational thinking forever, but this state has birthed precious experience to guide me in how to live.
Shedding my disguises, letting go of internal friction, and facing everyone with a calm heart—these are the forms of my outward expression.
They exist only to mend my lacking heart. My heart is not yet strong enough; to become strong, it needs constant external stimulation to make up for what it once lacked.
It’s similar to "revenge compensation," yet different. I’m not compensating; I’m mending.
It’s like facing a broken mirror. I pick up all the shards, but I don't try to glue them back together. Instead, I take them back to the furnace to be reforged.
Those who complain that "a broken mirror can never be whole" will only ever complain. The strong don't complain; they silently pick up the pieces and reforge them.
Don't fear the trouble, don't fear the boredom of the process, and don't fear the stares and pointing of others.
The strong only know that they want the mirror to return to its original state.
The weak will say, "Just buy a new one." Some will mock, "What a fool, reforging for such a trivial thing." Some might even take a picture and post it so others can join in the ridicule.
Perhaps that is why the strong are lonely.
Just like now. After tossing and turning for so long, I’m going back to get some proper rest, rather than forcing myself to study with the last bit of the day.
As for the rest, I’ll wait until tomorrow when I’ve recovered my energy.
Once the goals—short-term and long-term—are confirmed, many things seem to fall into place.
I returned to the villa.
"Sister Xiao Han, you're back so early?"
"Yeah. No classes today?" I nodded and looked at Dongli Yiren.
"No."
"Then keep at it. I'm going to sleep first."
"Eh? Sister Xiao Han, you're going to bed this early?"
"Mm-hmm~ I'm just a bit tired. A lot has happened today. My intuition tells me that a good sleep will help things settle. You too. Yu Yuetian said you've been working very hard lately, but don't overwork yourself. You really should give yourself a break when it's time to relax."
"A break? I think I'll pass. If I let myself get lazy, I might not be able to snap out of it."
"If you don't even have the courage to give yourself a break, do you think you're qualified to prove you can persevere? Don't just pretend to be studying hard~ Surprise inspection! What did you learn today? Close your notebook and tell me what you recorded on the last page!"
"Eh? I... that..."
Faced with my sudden move, Dongli Yiren instinctively closed her notebook, but she stammered, unable to say a word.
"See? Stop lying to yourself. You'd get more out of taking a popular science book into the plantation than you do sitting here mindlessly copying notes. There isn't only one way to learn. Learning isn't just sitting there miserably taking notes from a book. I'm giving you a task—no reward, no punishment, and no forced execution. Tomorrow, find the Witch Academy's plantation, and take your notes for a walk there. Isn't that more interesting than copying notes until your hand aches?"
"I..." Dongli Yiren seemed unable to process my sudden transformation. Before she could get a single word out, I had already headed upstairs and vanished from sight.
"I... I understand."
Dongli Yiren spoke softly, as if to herself.
She put down her pen, looked at her notes, stretched, and patted her cheeks.
She felt that the Xiao Han who returned today had changed. The previous shifts might not have been obvious, but today, the change was unmistakable.
Just what had she gone through?