Greed Has No Place
Nuance is not some subtle shade that lives only in language.
When you catch it in conversation, you call it tone; when it rises off a written sentence, you call it context. That is all the difference amounts to.
And in internet chat culture—where no one is bound to the stiff formats meant for delivering information, and the only real purpose is to talk—nuance comes through even more clearly.
People change their whole way of speaking just to beg you to notice them. They slap emoticons on everything, right out in the open.
Of course, those emoticons never mean only one thing.
Take the Korean letter k alone—depending on where and how you drop it, it can mean a thousand different things. There is a reason foreigners get whole guides on how to use it.
And so.
Even with a chat window drowning in compliments, Jaemin was not exactly in a good mood.
It had started the last time, when everyone had mocked how clumsy her crossdressing looked. No matter how much she introduced herself as a guy—when her real body was a woman's, being called a sloppy woman still stung her pride in a strange way.
So today, on her way to meet Noel, she had gone all out and even put on makeup.
And yet everyone was still laughing, with that same nuance that felt like they were making fun of her.
Well—to be fair, it had been a calculated move on Jaemin's part, too. She could not spend her whole life lying about being a man. If she was going to get found out someday anyway, she might as well start laying the groundwork early.
Even if she got caught, the excuse was solid enough. Women gamers got dragged into all kinds of annoying messes, so she had just pretended to be a guy. At first that had been the only reason she said she was a man; then it stuck, and she had kept answering that way out of habit.
But had anyone ever seen a guy who looked like this?
She had shown her face, dressed up pretty—and if someone still could not think woman after that, the problem was with them. That was how she planned to brush it off if it came up.
Some people would call it viral marketing. But was it not true that skilled women gamers got hit on from every direction? The ones obsessed with girls, and the ones who approached wrapped in every pretty package they could invent—
And yet the viewers still carried that nuance of seeing her as a man.
No—watching them laugh like that, it almost seemed like they had already figured out Jaemin was a woman. And still they clenched their teeth and insisted she was a guy, as if they would never, under any circumstances, grant her gender as female.
Which only made Jaemin more stubborn. Half of her wanted to keep living trouble-free as a male gamer; the other half thought, I'm pretty enough, aren't I?
And she had also been planning to get a reaction out of Noel.
She did not mind the viewers teasing her lightly like friends—but Noel was not close enough yet for jokes. Would she not give a more objective opinion?
"Hehe, Noel. How do I look today? Does the crossdressing suit me?"
"Ah, yes. Well. You've dressed up like you're heading out on a date. Anyone would take you for a woman."
As expected, Noel answered Jaemin's question with brutal honesty.
A little too honest, perhaps—but Jaemin failed to catch the nuance. Noel's face was, to anyone looking, the face of someone thinking, You got dressed up like that and you still plan to hide that you're a girl? But to Jaemin's eyes it was just Noel's usual expression. They were not even making eye contact; a stranger might have assumed Noel was just shy.
So Jaemin took it in stride, turned to the phone dangling from the end of her selfie stick, and declared with triumphant flair,
"You hear that? Unlike you slanderers, Noel acknowledged my crossdressing."
But whether Jaemin's crossdressing suited her or not, the viewers shoved her to the back burner and sank their teeth into the bait they had just set on fire among themselves.
Jaemin did not mind. That kind of neglect was familiar. She was a game streamer first—having them talk about the game was more welcome, honestly. And if her crossdressing had looked bad, those mischievous viewers would have been the first ones shouting about it. The fact that they had gone quiet meant all that careful dressing-up must have suited her pretty damn well.
A bunch of awkward dorks who can't say a word when they see a genuinely pretty girl.
That's why I love my viewers.
Drunk on that little glow of pride, Jaemin ran the stream with practiced ease.
"Alright, the wheelchair shop is right nearby. Noel, I've got a few picked out—take a look on the way and choose!"
"Ah, okay."
The bus had just pulled up. Once they boarded and found seats, Jaemin pulled a tablet from her handbag and held it out to Noel.
In that moment, the star of the stream was Noel's thin, pale fingers.
And over them, Jaemin layered her narration.
"So originally I was looking at regular manual wheelchairs—but a lot of you donated specifically so we could get Noel a wheelchair. I put up a thank-you list last time, but I'd like to say thank you again here. Because of you, we were able to look at electric ones."
"People donated this much just so I could buy a wheelchair……?"
Maybe it was the prices of the electric wheelchairs on the tablet. Noel's voice trembled a little.
"It added up once it all came together. Hehe. Whatever's left after we buy the wheelchair, I'm planning to donate in the viewers' names."
"Hey, I didn't give those up—the support steals them! And it's not like they're feeding me potions; they burn skills just to snatch them!"
As the viewers said, she could have just kept the leftover money for herself. But Jaemin's creed was to live thin and long. It was not as if she was trying to do a good deed—call it performative if you wanted. Still, she was not living so poorly that she would get greedy over money that could blow up in her face if she handled it wrong.
This was not charity because she was a good person. It was a donation made to survive.
She could have passed the remaining funds to Noel. But Noel already seemed burdened enough just by being given a wheelchair, so Jaemin quietly set that option aside. Let the viewers handle that kind of support directly, she decided.
And before Noel could have room to feel any more pressure, Jaemin launched into the explanation she had practiced in front of her viewers, enunciating every word.
"This electric wheelchair from Company T moves a little faster than a person walking. The body sits high, so visibility is good, and it's heavy enough to feel stable. The downside is the size—it runs a bit large."
"Hmm. My front entrance isn't that wide. I don't think this would fit."
"That would be a problem…… And you can't exactly leave it in the hallway. Then how about this? Company B's electric wheelchair. Smaller, relatively light, and supposedly very reliable—almost no minor breakdowns. The downside is that being light and high-bodied can make the balance unstable. But you're light, Noel, so it shouldn't matter, right?"
"Hmm……"
"Or what about this one? Company A. The body sits a little lower, which means a lower center of gravity, so it's stable. It has panels, so you don't have to worry about rain. And it's off-road."
"Oh."
Did Noel know? That her eyes sparkled whenever she looked at a wheelchair that actually interested her.
It was so cute that Jaemin laughed under her breath before she could stop herself.
The viewers were enjoying cooing over Noel too—but Jaemin kept her face neutral and kept explaining the other wheelchairs.
"This wheelchair is…… That one is…… Ah, and no, I am not getting sponsored by any of these wheelchair companies. This is absolutely not a stealth ad."
Even through all that explaining, Noel's reaction had gone flat ever since that one sparkle in her eyes. Apparently what she had fallen for was the cute little wheelchair that looked like it had rolled straight out of a game.
Thanks to that, the moment they arrived at the shop, they could order the wheelchair Noel had already locked onto.
"We'll have it ready so you can ride it out right away. There are two batteries—ideally keep both charged and stow one in the cargo compartment. Battery life is about a year and a half; if you don't replace them, the runtime will gradually drop. In winter they wear down a little faster……"
Only after listening through the employee's long, long explanation was Noel finally able to climb into the wheelchair.
Whirrr. A modest motor hum, and the chair moved smoothly.
Noel's face tightened with emotion; then she bowed her head to Jaemin.
"Thank you so much. Because of all of you, I get to ride a wheelchair like this…… I'll take good care of it."
A greeting meant for the viewers watching her, even though they were not here. Jaemin's chest swelled with pride and went soft at the same time—but she put on a deliberate show of taking credit, hoping Noel would not feel any more burdened.
"Ah, if you're grateful, then you've got to treat me to a big meal today. I already found a good restaurant, actually. Oh—you said your friend is coming too, right? I'll mark it on the map for you."
"Ah, okay. I'm not sure one meal will be enough……"
"I'm going to eat a lot, so brace yourself. Heh."
And suddenly the chat was on fire.
Jaemin flustered at the unexpected riot—then remembered that if they were truly furious they would have been swearing. Knowing it was all a joke, she deliberately teased them right back.
"Jealous? If you want to go on a date with Noel too, come dressed up pretty in crossdress like me."
Since ancient times, the classic way to soothe the masses had been to draw a line between sides—or to hand over one sinner and throw a rock festival. The viewers found their own sacrificial lamb and piled on the group lynching all by themselves.
It was not real cursing anyway, just jokes, so Jaemin did not bother stepping in.
And as if the chaos in chat did not exist at all, Noel was completely absorbed in moving the wheelchair. Those tiny hands fidgeting at the controls were almost unbearably cute.