Camera and Microphone
“What am I supposed to do, always receiving help like this?”
“Come on, it’s not like I’m buying it myself. The viewers donated so I could help you out, Noel, so that’s why I’m bringing this over.”
It was something I always thought, but people who spoke so honestly about their interests were comfortable to deal with.
People like the Downstairs Neighbor Aunt, who simply treated me well for no reason, were nice too.
But how common could people like that really be in the world?
Most of them only treated you well because they wanted something in return.
That was why nothing Celesty did for me ever felt burdensome.
If the viewers’ donations had been handed to me directly, I would have felt obligated to do something in return and fretted over it.
But having them go through someone else and tell her to buy me things lessened the pressure a little.
Ah, that didn’t mean the discomfort vanished completely.
The living room was fine, but my room was my own private space.
Having another person—not family, but an outsider—step into that personal space was still awkward.
And she was a woman, at that.
Not a man, but a woman whose scent, whether perfume or natural body fragrance, kept catching my attention.
……If it had been a man, my body would have locked up and truly gotten on my nerves.
With a man my body tensed; with a woman it snagged on me psychologically like this.
Which was just another way of saying being alone was the most comfortable.
Still, when someone was doing something good for me, that much was bearable.
What Celesty had come over to install after my discharge today was a microphone and a camera.
The microphone wasn’t exactly cheap junk, but it wasn’t expensive either.
The kind that would let my voice reach the viewers without any filtering.
That much was fine.
I had been finding it inconvenient myself, constantly alt-tabbing between the game and the stream chat window.
Looking at the chat wasn’t hard.
I only needed to glance over for a second.
But even typing out every single thing I wanted to say was a hassle, and once a fight started, communication got put on hold.
There was a reason that, back when I used to play with friends or teammates, we would go to a PC bang even though we had computers at home.
Even then we only went on birthdays or special occasions; we didn’t do it much on ordinary days……
Anyway, if I could communicate with my voice, streaming would become a lot smoother.
Fortunately, even though Father had beaten me over every other little thing, he had never once complained about my voice.
So it probably wasn’t an unpleasant one to listen to.
The camera, though, made me a little reluctant.
It wasn’t that I was deliberately hiding my face.
But from the viewers’ perspective, wouldn’t looking at a face that wasn’t particularly pretty just sour their mood?
A bloodlessly pale face and bright red eyes.
No matter how clear my skin was, it was the kind of face that, just as Father had said, provoked revulsion.
There was a reason I had worn a mask on Kanchona’s stream.
But I couldn’t keep wearing a mask on my own stream forever either.
Besides, ninety percent of a person’s impression was decided by the eyes.
If someone came to watch something fun and ended up locking eyes with me and feeling disgusted, it would be bad for both of us.
The viewer would feel put off, and I would feel sorry that such a viewer left.
“Um, Celesty. I’m grateful for the microphone, but the camera is a little……”
When I carefully brought it up, Celesty, who had been mounting the camera on top of the monitor, smiled as if to reassure me.
“Hm? Ahaha. It’s fine—I’m not telling you to use it right away. I’m just installing it in case you ever feel like using it when you’re comfortable. You could even use it as a security camera when you leave your seat. And it doesn’t have to show your face. You can use it as a hand cam.”
“Ah.”
Celesty was right.
Just because there was a camera didn’t mean I had to show my face.
People who enjoyed watching me play games would probably also enjoy watching the way I played.
Especially those who were interested in how I controlled the character.
And if I stepped away, they would notice right away.
So I quietly accepted the camera installation as well.
It wasn’t just a matter of plugging it in; she made sure the computer recognized it and that it could appear on the stream.
She ran a quick test, nodded in satisfaction—and then Celesty suddenly said something unexpected.
“Alright, done. Want to try streaming now?”
“R-right now? With you here, Celesty?”
“Oh. Is it a little awkward to stream while I’m around?”
“Uh, no. It’s not that, but……”
It wasn’t exactly embarrassing.
Last time Celesty had come over I had played games with her sitting right behind me.
Having someone watch from behind was a bit awkward, but not so bad that I couldn’t do it.
What bothered me was that now, with a microphone, I would be speaking out loud while streaming.
And having someone right there watching me do that felt somehow embarrassing.
If someone pointed out that streaming itself already meant showing my gameplay and voice to viewers so it shouldn’t be any different, I wouldn’t have a comeback.
But I couldn’t help feeling differently about it.
Just like dealing with people over the internet was far more comfortable than facing them in real life.
Just like meeting someone only through text felt so much safer.
But Celesty had come all the way here just to help me.
I knew it would be a terrible thing to tell someone like that that I was scared, or that having her behind me while I played made me uneasy.
So I just sat there hesitating and reading the room until Celesty took the initiative herself.
“Hmm, but I also have to go do my own stream. If I stay here too long the viewers will start complaining. You know—‘What kind of guy hangs around that long at a girl’s place when she lives alone?’ I should probably head out soon.”
“Ah, yes. Still, I should at least pull something out for you to eat……”
“It’s fine. I’ve got leftovers at home. If I don’t finish them today they’ll go bad.”
What a relief. Celesty was leaving without me having to say a single unpleasant word.
I had even planned to make a show of sending a gift card, but she refused that too.
Whether she really had food at home that needed eating or simply didn’t want to eat here was something only she would know.
That aside, were Celesty’s viewers still pretending not to know she was a woman?
From the way they were still going on about “that guy,” it seemed Celesty herself didn’t realize her identity had been exposed.
Or maybe they all knew and were just teasing her, treating it as a bit.
Either way, it meant Celesty’s viewers cared about her.
I couldn’t very well keep her from going back to them.
It definitely wasn’t just because I wanted her out of my house.
“Then please take care on the way. Thank you for always helping me like this.”
“Don’t mention it. I’m just doing the missions the viewers give me. Ah, make sure you eat proper meals. Don’t come out—just seeing me off as far as here is fine.”
Just as Celesty said, I only saw her off as far as my bedroom door.
I didn’t even need to walk that far; simply standing up was enough.
She probably didn’t want to watch me crawl after her either.
I understood completely.
No matter how much pity someone felt, watching a person crawl around might still feel miserable.
I wasn’t exactly thrilled about letting others see me crawl either, so I was simply grateful for the consideration.
And so Celesty left, leaving only that sweet-and-sour scent behind.
Only once I was alone again did I restart the stream.
I had turned it off for a bit while Celesty visited, yet quite a few viewers were still waiting.
They were good people.
Sharp-eyed viewers who immediately caught what had changed on the stream screen.
But they were overlooking the fact that what they could see wasn’t everything.
Ah, maybe that was only natural since I was keeping my mouth shut.
“Hello, I’m Noel. Celesty just came by and installed a microphone and camera for me. I’d like to go over to Celesty’s stream and thank everyone who took care of me like this.”
Maybe just sending my voice had been the right answer.
The viewers’ reactions were pretty good.
Thanks to that I felt better myself, and I was able to rock my chair side to side while running the stream.
“From now on I’ll be able to talk with you in real time while looking at chat during games, which is nice. Funny chats would pop up and my mouth would itch so bad during fights that it was hard to hold back.”
I had thought I might end up stumbling over what to say, but surprisingly the words came out without any hitch.
Maybe it was because I could just treat it as an extension of chat and exchange silly talk with the viewers.
It was so fun that I only opened the game client and kept chatting with them.
I must have been so absorbed that I only noticed the presence behind me belatedly.
“Noel, Unni’s here. Is your body feeling a bit better? I heard some bad guy broke in while Unni was away yesterday.”
“Ah, Unni, you’re here.”
Of course it was the Next-door Sister.
No one else would walk in without even ringing the doorbell.
Aside from Mother and me, she was the only one who knew the password to our house.
Maybe those words had carried over the stream.
The viewers started throwing out questions full of curiosity.
“Ah, it’s the Next-door Sister. After my mother killed my father and went to prison, she’s the one who’s been helping me a lot. Pretty? Well…… I’ve never actually seen her face, so I don’t really know.”
“Wow, Noel, that’s too much. Saying you don’t know just because you haven’t seen my face. Do you think I’m ugly?”
Maybe the woman had already guessed that I never managed to meet her eyes.
She seemed to know I hadn’t seen her face, so she just tossed out a light joke.
But the viewers didn’t know the circumstances, so of course they pressed me about it.
Well, sure. People usually said that when you talked you were supposed to face each other.
But for me that was still too much to handle.
“I, uh, find it hard to look someone in the eyes while talking. My eyes look so unpleasant that whenever Father and I made eye contact he’d just start hitting me.”
“But this Unni seems like she’d be pretty even without seeing her face. I’ve seen up to her chin—her skin’s clear and her jawline’s slim.”
“Ugh, fine. Unni’s sulking now. I’m just gonna lie down on Noel’s bed and sleep.”
She flopped straight onto the bed without another word.
I just shrugged my shoulders and tossed out a joke to lift the suddenly darkening stream atmosphere.
“Still, I know Celesty’s face. I’ve seen it on stream. Super pretty, though they say he’s a guy.”
Thanks to that, the chat window wandered all over the place just like always.
It was fun realizing that even when I communicated with my voice instead of the keyboard, the atmosphere stayed the same.
I really hoped I could just keep streaming exactly like this.