Is It My Fault This Time Too?
I thought about reaching out to Kancho first.
But then I reminded myself: I’m still male on the inside, and Kancho feels safer than Celesty, who’s a girl.
Except the moment I opened my contacts, a whole mess of doubts started dragging me down.
First of all, my face looked completely cursed.
Second, I figured not contacting him would probably be better for him too.
He’d just done my main-dish segment on his stream, right? So maybe he’d be fine with it.
Yet if I waited until after his personal broadcast ended, wouldn’t some viewers start whispering that I had an ulterior motive?
Honestly, it only mattered if it was me.
Other people could misread it or get the wrong idea; that was none of my business.
But I had already agreed to the stream as a way to help him, so if I caused trouble for the person who helped me, I wouldn’t be able to live with it.
A girl who’d already shaken me down for a hundred thousand won and now kept bothering me?
That was exactly the kind of reputation that would earn me the “gold-digger” label.
I even remembered the chat comment asking Kancho if he had ever gotten something from me.
I didn’t have any experience with that stuff, but I wasn’t clueless.
Of course the word would feel disgusting.
It meant I slept with a man, didn’t it?
I wasn’t particularly fond of men, but as someone who used to be one, it felt mentally wrong to sleep with a man.
……And because of my father, getting too close to a man made me freeze up.
Maybe he noticed it in the explanation broadcast, or maybe he was just worried about rumors.
At least my gameplay hadn’t been affected, but even with this body, I had no intention of looking at men with sexual eyes.
If I were to date, it would have to be a woman, but who in the world would ever like someone like me?
……Without realizing it, I glanced behind me.
She was sitting on the bed, swinging her legs playfully, waiting for someone to call her.
I couldn’t bring myself to look her in the face, but even from down here I could see her toned calves.
Her lips formed a nice curve.
The thin, lively pink of her lips parted slightly as if she knew I was looking.
“Huh? Noel? Why?”
“Ah, no. I was just thinking I should contact someone.”
“Well then, if you have to choose between Kancho and Celesty, I vote Celesty. They’re both girls, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Alright, I wouldn’t cross any lines and ruin our relationship over nothing.
She had helped me out of kindness, so she probably felt a little affection at most.
If I were some kind of Casanova, I might have been able to take things further, but I was still the same virgin who had never dated a girl before, and now I was just a completely ordinary girl.
So I simply messaged Celesty.
I hesitated to contact a girl directly, but she would probably find it more natural this way.
“Sure?”
“Oh, you want to send a gift? It’s fine lol. I’ll just accept the heart.”
“No way, don’t send anything. I’ll refund any support.”
I sent it, expecting a quick reply.
But instead I got a video of Celesty happily sipping kimchi jjigae by herself.
……Maybe she thought I was going to give her something because I said she helped me.
It felt like I should at least show some gratitude, but she had specifically said not to send anything.
So guilt-free, I could just move on.
“Ah!”
I added an explanation, and Celesty sent a single emoji that meant nothing, then went silent for a while.
……Busy?
Come to think of it, she does stream.
I hadn’t been able to watch her much because I was playing my game, but I remembered she was pretty popular with the viewers.
Maybe I had accidentally messaged her while she was live.
Still, I was glad the silence didn’t last long.
Yeah, that part surprised me.
If people were just jealous and encouraging others to keep promises so they could watch drama, it felt too professional.
Maybe the people who actually cared didn’t want their personal info leaked.
But if I had to guess the biggest reason, it was probably this:
Probably because I was in a socially vulnerable position.
Everyone already knows cursing is bad, and cursing an innocent person is even worse, especially if that innocent person is a woman or a child.
I had just added one more “spoon” of disability on top of that.
It wasn’t exactly pleasant, but if my body had been fine in the first place, I wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.
Celesty must have thought my words were a joke or something was broken, because she didn’t answer right away.
Fortunately she was still with me, because I was able to pull the mood back.
“Ah.”
Of course. Gift cards existed.
I remembered using them to casually exchange presents with friends at university.
I had learned to show gratitude directly, but I only knew what it was and never actually used it.
……Turns out the parents who taught me that once flipped me away the moment they could.
Looking at the detailed advice, it seemed like she was sharing her own experience.
Especially since Celesty was a woman, nasty people were probably already circling her.
Why? Because that’s how it was.
Guys opened OpenKakaoTalk and no one came, but girls got flooded.
So I needed to prepare too.
I set the photo in the chat room so it didn’t load instantly.
The link? I wasn’t going to click it anyway.
Originally, gift cards weren’t clicked but copied and entered.
Alright, only the League of Champions community post was left.
I had already lurked, so I knew the culture roughly.
It was basically a chat for League of Champions content.
I didn’t have an account, so I created one to post.
I logged in, took a screenshot of my profile and the date-time program, and wrote the post.
Celesty said to be bold, like a true top laner.