Refusal Is a Refusal
The realization that Jaemin had approached Noeul with nothing but pure goodwill was one thing. Gabi had never felt the need to be particularly cautious about him. After all, if Noeul had been male, she would have drawn sharp lines with a much firmer hand. Even if Jaemin called himself a man, even without makeup he had a face that was refreshingly pretty, and that presence that refused to hide behind baggy clothes was the kind that made you wonder if this was really just some streamer who played games. His personality was easygoing, the kind that would easily win over the affection of men.
Gabi had never dated a man herself, but she knew plenty. She was the go-to person for romance advice among her peers, so she understood that boys liked those kinds of things. And based on what her friends had said, she could even read the male mind. Of course there were individual differences. Noeul had lived so cleanly that there would be those who partied harder, and just as their hobbies and personalities varied wildly, so would their reactions. But men were simple. A woman liked them back, and they liked her. She was pretty, and they liked her. Her chest was big, and they liked her. So perhaps it was no surprise that Jaemin, pretty and with a simple personality, looked at Noeul in a way that could be called a shot in the dark.
Even Gabi herself had lived simply, but she understood that much thanks to the clever head she had inherited from her parents. But right now Noeul was a woman. A gender Jaemin had no reason to be particularly interested in. Of course, if Jaemin liked women and was simply pretending to be male, that was one thing. But according to what Noeul had told her, Jaemin was only pretending to be a man in order to avoid unnecessary attention as a gamer. The probability that Jaemin liked Noeul as a woman was extremely low.
Well, in this day and age women could like women, but those kinds of people were extremely few in number. So it was fine to be at ease.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Gabi, can I talk to you for a bit?
- **Ju Gabi**: Yeah, what’s up?
So Gabi had gladly answered Jaemin’s late-night message. If it had been someone she wasn’t close with, the KakaoTalk alarm would have rung and she would have left it for morning. Reaching out that evening meant he was asking for something that would demand her time and attention. Answering that she was asleep and had only just seen it would mean the awkward request was already resolved, and that was Gabi’s own way of dealing with people. It was how she avoided being disliked while still refusing the unwelcome.
Of course, she answered the messages of the children she considered close right away. Like she did with Jaemin now.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: You mentioned the neighbor unni when we drank earlier today.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: About that unni… I thought she might not be real since Noeul has been watching broadcasts nonstop.
- **Ju Gabi**: Yeah? What do you mean?
And she was glad she had answered right away. Noeul’s story had been coming up.
Noeul had already said it was getting better lately, but after the gender change, being rejected by her parents, and ending up with permanent physical loss, how could she possibly have no inconvenience in daily life? Gabi had wanted to move in with Noeul and look after her, but she had held back out of concern that Noeul might feel uncomfortable. So it was only natural that Jaemin, who was also worried about Noeul, felt grateful to her.
Still, the information about an unknown woman left Gabi uneasy. She knew Jaemin’s intentions were pure. He was the kind of person who even admitted he had approached the situation thinking both sides would benefit, so trust came easily. But she knew nothing about that woman. No name, no address, no contact information. The only clue Noeul had given was that she worked as a salaryman, but that might not even be real.
Gabi asked for an explanation, and Jaemin’s message continued.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Noeul seemed to be talking to the unni as usual, but nothing was captured on camera.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: There was clearly someone in the place Noeul’s eyes were looking, but no one was there.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Some people call it a ghost, but I think it’s more like a hallucination…
- **Hwang Jaemin**: I figured it was just a way of joking it off, but even so, I felt like Noeul was seeing something.
- **Ju Gabi**: So Noeul is seeing hallucinations?
The words hit Gabi with anger faster than anything else. Noeul’s body was already not in the best condition. With the mental wounds from abuse, the last thing she needed was talk like that.
But when Jaemin kept talking, every story turned out to come from worry.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Even you start with denial, and if Noeul heard it she would obviously say it’s not true.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: I talked to the other viewers who watch the broadcast with Noeul…
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Noeul is clearly seeing something, and if you say it’s a hallucination she’ll start denying right away.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: The unni is probably the most precious person who supported Noeul when she was at her weakest…
- **Hwang Jaemin**: If I or the viewers weigh in, of course she’ll lean toward the unni.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: No matter what we say, the backlash might be bigger.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: That’s why I need Gabi’s help…
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Gabi said you’ve been friends with Noeul since childhood, so maybe you hold a bigger place in Noeul’s heart than the unni?
Gabi didn’t know much about mental illness, but Jaemin’s words made sense. She herself had started with denial because the word brought an unpleasant feeling. If Noeul heard it, the spikes would only get sharper. And the part about recognizing her as Noeul’s childhood friend was nice too.
So Gabi accepted Jaemin’s words more positively.
- **Ju Gabi**: Then should I bring Noeul to a shaman or a mental hospital…?
- **Hwang Jaemin**: No, there’s no need to do it from the start.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: If I do that, Noeul will only get more suspicious…
- **Hwang Jaemin**: And it would be bad for the relationship between Noeul and Gabi.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: The best thing is to make Noeul realize on her own that she’s seeing an illusion…
- **Ju Gabi**: Um… but that won’t be easy.
So the debate continued.
How could Noeul accept that the unni did not exist in reality?
Of course, it could be a guess. Jaemin and the viewers might be wrong, and the unni might actually exist. In that case Gabi thought she would have to negotiate with the unni herself. So she came up with a way that covered both possibilities.
- **Ju Gabi**: So when the unni is there, I go visit her?
- **Ju Gabi**: After all, I was already thinking of seeing the unni’s face once.
- **Ju Gabi**: Why does she suddenly show up at someone else’s house without any contact?
- **Ju Gabi**: If it’s a hallucination, I’ll make Noeul snap out of it. If it’s a real person, I’ll find out if she’s trustworthy.
Gabi wrote the sentences with a mix of anger and resolve.
It seemed like a pretty good idea, because Jaemin sent back a stunned reply.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Oh…! There was a method like that.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: But wouldn’t that be too much of a burden on Gabi? I have no idea when the unni will appear in front of Noeul.
Yes, as Jaemin said, there was no telling when the unni would show up again. But from what Noeul said, she came around two or three times a week. At that frequency, the next time would come soon enough.
- **Ju Gabi**: Hehe, I can clear my evening schedule completely.
- **Ju Gabi**: Then I’ll do it like this.
- **Hwang Jaemin**: Thank you… I’m counting on you… If there’s anything I can help with, let me know anytime.
- **Ju Gabi**: I should be thanking you… for worrying about Noeul.
With the plan roughly set, Gabi immediately sent Noeul a new message.
- **Ju Gabi**: Can I meet that unni too?
- **Ju Gabi**: Since she took such good care of Noeul when she was having a hard time, I’d like to greet her and say thank you once.
- **Ju Gabi**: If you come in the evening next time, can you call me? I don’t have anything special going on in the evenings lately.
The number 1 that popped up next to the message disappeared in no time. The read receipt appeared. But no reply came back right away.
Maybe it was because she was broadcasting and couldn’t answer chat right away? Ah, she had said she turned on the camera. In that case there was no need to just sit there with the phone. Gabi only needed to go to Noeul’s broadcast channel.
After a brief loading screen, the view came up with Noeul’s expression showing clear discomfort. Why was she feeling uneasy? Was there some reason she and the unni couldn’t meet? Or was it simply because she had sent a message during a broadcast…?
[Ah, sorry. My friend wanted to meet the unni too. Um, but the unni is a salaryman who works a lot of overtime, so I don’t know when I’ll have time. My friend has lectures and assignments too, so I’m not sure if we’ll match up…]
Neither was it that. The sweet and cute creature had simply been troubled by consideration for both sides. And after all that worry, the reply that came back was lukewarm.
- **Noeul♡**: There’s no need for anyone to come just because the unni is here… I just go visit when I have the time.
- **Noeul♡**: When the unni comes, I might be able to contact you then.
- **Noeul♡**: Gabi, won’t you be tired? You have lectures and assignments too.
- **Ju Gabi**: Hehe, I’m fine.
- **Ju Gabi**: Don’t you know my habit? I have to finish assignments or studying in advance or I won’t feel satisfied.
- **Ju Gabi**: I don’t have a schedule I’m chasing.
- **Noeul♡**: Um… don’t push yourself too hard.
- **Noeul♡**: Meeting the two of us isn’t an urgent matter, right? There will be plenty of time in the future.
- **Ju Gabi**: Okay hehe.
Unlike herself, who refused minor requests and lived comfortably, Noeul, when pushed like this, eventually couldn’t refuse the favor. It was because people were simply kind.
Well, that was Noeul’s charm, but someday when they married she would have to hold her tight and not let her get taken advantage of by others.
In the end, even though the feeling was not entirely favorable, she had received Noeul’s permission.
Now all that remained was to watch when Noeul talked to the unni. She was prepared to rush to the scene, uncover the truth, and take the necessary measures. Friends did that much for each other. If it was someone you liked, there was no trouble at all.
And while she was at it, she could see the face too.