I Want to Speak (1)

"…Can you hear my voice?"

"If you can hear it……."

"Forget everything."

If you black out without realizing it and then wake up, shouldn't you at least be allowed the classic "What an unfamiliar ceiling" or a sharp "Flash!" of awareness?

I felt a pang of regret at the presence of something that refused me even that much, as if my eyes had been bound shut. Even to me it seemed a thoroughly useless regret.

I was hardly in a position to be feeling things like that right now.

Still, it helped clear my head a little. First I tried to grasp my situation.

At the very least my eyes were definitely covered. My body had some kind of problem—there was almost no sensation. My arms and legs seemed to be attached, but I couldn't move them.

There was even a slight pressure around my mouth. When I tested moving my lips and found it difficult, I realized they must have been gagged as well.

My ears didn't seem blocked, yet no sounds reached me from the surroundings.

A sense of absolute failure began to seep in.

If my eyes and mouth were bound, the odds that my body was restrained as well were high—so why was I restrained?

I hurriedly retraced my memories from before everything cut out.

So…… I had clearly fallen into a trap and pretended to be a demon, and in that state I'd dealt with those 72 Demon Knights or whatever they were, and I'd also dealt with Bipurit after he'd turned into a monster. And then……

And then what had I done?

Uh…… right, I'd felt uneasy leaving the demon worshipers in the castle and gone to clean them up. I vaguely remembered saving the people who were going to be used as sacrifices as well.

But why did the memories feel so hazy, as if a filter had been slapped over them? There were plenty of missing pieces, like several frames had been cut out…… and I couldn't clearly recall the thoughts or emotions I'd had at the time…… Oh?

I suddenly felt the urge to blink. It was because of one memory that surfaced late.

Right at the end, with my Madness Gauge sky-high, I thought I'd seen Kimchi Mandu swinging her mace at me……? Yeah, I also vaguely remembered Gogi Mandu looking at me too?

…What kind of memory is that?

For an instant it felt like cold sweat was trickling down my back. That was all I could remember, yet I had no good feeling about any of the omitted scenes.

Maybe the reason I was restrained was because of that as well.

I couldn't be sure since it wasn't in my memories, but… had I filled the Madness Gauge completely and gone berserk without distinguishing friend from foe? If that were the case, restraint would be absolutely possible.

I grew unsettled at the highest probability. If that really was what happened, what was I supposed to do? More importantly, how much time had passed?

I tried to check a clock before remembering I didn't have a clock function. So what other function could tell me the flow of time?

Grrrrk.

Right then, as if mocking my serious predicament, my stomach growled thunderously. Along with it came a hunger so fierce it was maddening.

I ground a moan between my teeth under a starvation that bordered on agony. It hurt more now than when I'd been hit by a sword.

"Ugh."

In the end a groan slipped out. "Hm?" At that, some sound came from nearby. A human voice.

Yet once I sensed a person's presence, calling out became another matter. I needed to let them know I was awake, but I was still short on situational awareness.

Especially since I was restrained without knowing why. The thought that carelessly pretending to wake here might get my head rolling made me hesitate.

"Must've been my imagination……."

So I held my breath and stayed still, and at last the person nearby let their guard down. Relief flooded my chest thickly.

I'd bought myself more time to think.

The problem was that while I had time to think, I had no clues to figure anything out. I didn't even know how long it had been……?

Wait a second. Being hungry means my satiety has dropped that much, right?

For a more solid grasp I briefly opened the status window. Thankfully it didn't refuse to show just because my eyes were closed.

I pushed aside the stats I never properly checked because I wasn't the one raising them, then confirmed the information I wanted. The first impression that struck me was that something was off.

Fatigue and satiety aside, my MP status was strange. It used to be in the 1,500s, right? Why had it ballooned?

With a queer feeling I kept staring at the MP column. Seeing satiety bottomed out, at least three days must have passed…… No, but why had my MP really increased? It had nearly doubled. Why?

Yet that wasn't the only thing that would startle me.

Since there was nothing else I could do, and my level had risen so I had points, I checked whether some new skill had appeared and inflated my MP—and actual new skills really had popped out.

What the hell?

The first skill was even identical to the status ailment I'd possessed.

It was no longer a status ailment but a passive skill, and one that activated on its own at that, now permanently fixed.

The second and third looked roughly like ranged attack skills.

The fourth…… I thought I got it, but it didn't fully click. I'd have to check later.

And the fifth skill…… this one I understood even less. I'd wondered if the increased MP was this one's fault, but the description didn't even have a single phrase about quantity increasing.

Looking at the description alone left me with nothing but a "what even is this" feeling.

I truly had no idea what it meant.

"What exactly are you trying to show me……."

Just then, along with the sound of something opening, a familiar voice drifted in. Probably Baramson…… right?

"…That thing over there—is that the Demon Knight?"

"Yes."

"Why, why is that person……!"

I kept my expression blank and listened to their conversation. I almost flinched at the word that I had been sealed, but since restraint and sealing were pretty much the same, I calmed down again.

What I really needed to focus on was whether I had truly gone berserk……

Wow, the Madness Gauge is terrifying. I'd half-doubted it, but it really makes you rampage without distinguishing friend from foe. And it even blows away the player's sanity.

It was a skill that suited the Demon Knight class perfectly. Of course I absolutely didn't want it! If possible I'd delete it this instant! Damn it!

"Didn't you see the middle part of the castle just vanished?"

"What?"

"The knight sir did that."

But what the hell had I done?

I couldn't hold back and gave my body a slight shake.

In truth, with no sensation, I barely even registered that I'd moved. I only thought "Huh? Did I move?" because of the faint clink of chains.

"…Wait."

Yet it must have been visible to others. A voice that sounded like the Inquisitor's cut through the center, and footsteps approached with crisp purpose.

"Demon Knight, have you awakened?"

Around then I decided it was about time I got up.

Clank.

I rattled the iron chains—probably—that bound my body.

"If so…… can you hear my words clearly? If you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠can hear them, please shake your head."

More than that, wow, how am I supposed to face these kids? They must have suffered putting me down. Of course the Inquisitor had the type advantage, but still.

"Are you truly the Demon Knight? If so, please nod your head up and down."

…No. What I needed to worry about right this second wasn't that.

"You really have awakened!"

Yeah, was the Demon Knight concept the type to rampage and then shamelessly brush it off?

"Please wait a moment. I will release you."

And this wasn't even a brief incident like last time—when we'd moved from Somon to Tatara—I'd rampaged hard enough to get sealed.

Of course my rampage had only been a skill penalty, not being consumed by a demon. But from everyone else's view it would definitely be the former. Honestly the only explanation I could give them was the former as well.

On top of that, I'd even roleplayed a demon just to save myself and Luquan! That one had at least been acting, but the others would never know!

Hwaaak, hwaaaaak.

What, what do I do now……? With a concept like this, once an incident this big has exploded, he would never forgive himself, right?

Slide.

In the meantime the thing covering my eyes disappeared. Thankfully the surroundings weren't excessively bright.

Blinking a few times let me grow used to the light.

"I will free your mouth as well."

As my eyes adjusted, the scenery around me began to rush in. The Inquisitor was kneeling in front of me, bringing her hands toward my face.

Thanks to that I could see Kimchi Mandu's face properly. Those pale round cheeks, the ever-sparkling green eyes, and that red hair with one side completely shaved……?

More than that, why did she shave her head again?

I barely suppressed a pupil quake. In the scrap of thin, useless memory, a portion of "red" hair shooting into the air happened to remain. After that, Kimchi Mandu swinging her mace at me.

In other words, I was probably the culprit.

Sssrk.

"Done."

The scrap of cloth sealing my mouth finally fell away, yet my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lips still showed no sign of parting. Of course. With what nerve was I supposed to open my mouth!

Moreover, because of the Demon Knight concept, the words I could even say were limited.

"Demon Knight?"

I…… might have to ask them to kill me with my own mouth?

"How many…… died."

Hwaaak. Anything but that!

To buy as much time as possible I asked something random. Of course even this question had been selected after fierce deliberation.

Before saying "kill me," there were only a handful of lines I could deliver with this concept.

"There are none."

Yet no matter how hard I spun my head during the time I'd bought, there was no way for my concept to escape this situation. Not knowing the scale of damage I'd inflicted or how the incident had progressed made it worse.

"I have no need for polite words."

In that gap, clank, the shackle around my neck fell away. I hadn't even known it was there.

My neck itched and my breath stopped for a moment, then the things I must have done while unconscious came first.

"It is true."

Ah, the strength is leaving my waist.

Thud.

Besides the Inquisitor, the others had hounded the mage until they shattered the chains binding my waist.

Thanks to that my waist bent on its own. Yeah, after starving for more than three days, did I have the strength to keep my back straight? The chains had been both restraints and my support.

My body toppled forward as if collapsing. Since both hands were bound separately I couldn't even put my arms out first.

"I……."

By a hair, my head…… forehead? The spot between crown and forehead hit the floor first. I somehow forced strength into my waist and at least prevented myself from flowing down like mush.

But just because I'd avoided flopping face-down didn't mean anything changed beyond saving a bit of face.

"I……."

I spun the happy circuit over and over, but in the end the only words I could say were these.

"I have no worth in living. Kill me."

…Looks like I won't be able to avoid death.

I feel like crying.

"Demon Knight!"

"I said…… kill me."

Of course I didn't actually want a retry. As I've said again and again, waking up again is too hard.

But what could I do when this damned concept simply would not permit otherwise?

In the end, just as I always had since starting this game, I cried out for death while not wanting it at all. If I didn't request it, that would just lead to a "Sir, you're OOC. Die" ending, so I couldn't even try challenging it.

"Kill me at once……!"

Ha, but still, couldn't they just spare me?

"What nonsense are you spouting, sir!"

Dev lifted my toppled body upright. Once my upper body was straight, something lukewarm trickled down the bridge of my nose.

My eyes flew wide.

"We cannot do that!"

"No. You must."

No, no. If possible I really hope you absolutely don't.

If I retried I could definitely create a better situation than now, I could reduce the damage with a swift resolution without falling into the trap, I could start over without that damned passive skill, but still……

Huh. Saying it like this, a restart actually sounds way better?

"That is your duty."

No, I thought wrong. I need to know where the restart point is before I retry.

This damned game has no manual save function so I can't load a save file, and restart via autosave is also impossible.

For reference, there are several reasons the latter is impossible.

First, if I directly order a restart, only a system window saying something like "Impossible command" appears. Second, in the case of restart via GAME OVER……

Possibility aside, the current situation itself is a bit of an obstacle.

Because the last autosave would definitely have occurred after the fight!

Yeah, autosave is called "auto" because it automatically happens every time a major incident ends, right?

With my long gaming experience, even if I press restart from the last save point it would definitely be after the part I want.

"At once, kill me."

Ah, wait a second. Looking at it this way, retry or whatever, am I just screwed? If the autosave point is after the recapture, I'll have to keep seeing this mess?

Crazy. Crazy. Crazy!

"……."

Operator-nim, or Status Window-nim, System-nim. Anyone. Please give this pitiful one a reset button. I'll beg like this if I have to.

Even if you tell me to start over from the very beginning I really won't say a word. No, I'd actually prefer that. Then I could finally clean up this concept.

So please, the reset buuuutton!!

"What are you hesitating for!"

I urged the ones standing silently before me. Of course my true feelings were the exact opposite.

Anyway, if no reset button was given, the only path I could take into the future was their mercy.

Yet my mouth had to discard mercy and whine for them to kill me.

Damn. Is this extreme contradiction real? My chest feels grand……

"Keeping a demon alive is not your duty!"

Just let it slide once. Just this once. Just ignore my words this one time!! Please!!

While desperately screaming for them to save me inside, my mouth elaborately demanded death. The path of seeking life in the face of death was not far.

Stiff strength entered my neck.

"Hey, what are you talking about?"

"Sir……."

And when everyone was overwhelmed by my cry—no, they shouldn't be overwhelmed! They should persuade me! Or ignore my words! Hey!—the Inquisitor bit her lip hard.

Did I go too far? Regret quietly raised its head.

"I do not believe you are a demon."

…Yet Kimchi Mandu ultimately did not betray my expectations.

"If you truly were a demon, there would be no reason for you to ask me to kill you."

Kimchi Mandu was a god!

"Ha!"

A sharp laugh rang through the hall. The voice, cracked and dry without a single drop of moisture, was like looking upon ruins swallowed by a desert wind.

"Then what was the reason you bound me? Can you say that with that reason, what I carry did not rampage? Can you claim that the evil inside me did not run wild, that there was some other reason!"

It was the product of fall and decay. Things that were sinking, wishing for it, things for which that alone was the only future.

"…I will say it again. Your duty is to kill demons, and my duty is also to kill demons."

Perhaps because of that. The figure who shook off the rogue's support and stood ramrod straight as usual looked unusually small.

It infinitely resembled his usual steely self, yet somehow resignation kept seeping from the voice.

"So…… do what you must so that each of us may fulfill our missions."

And so.

Because of that.

She could not carelessly open her mouth. Her meager social sense shouted that the silence of the others was born of the same feeling.

"…My mission."

Yet she could not keep her mouth shut forever. The Inquisitor finally parted her lips after a long while.

"Is to save people from demons. Not to kill the innocent. And you as a person…… are not someone I must kill."

Was this right? She did not know. She could only try, as always.

"How could I kill you, who resisted until the final moment even after your body was stolen by a demon, and who ultimately stopped before killing anyone?"

Because that was the path she had to walk.

"…Foolish words. Just because no one died this time, do you believe it will never happen next time?"

A rebuttal returned to the words she had forced out. It was a rather painful point. Even she could not hastily deny those words.

"If you will lower your guard relying on a moment's luck, fine. Undo the shackles. If you will not, I will do it myself."

But she could not accept it either. She did not want to accept it.

"If that was luck."

Why would the Demon Knight lose to a demon? He does not lose. Even this time, had he not endured until the end?

"Next time it will be inevitable."

So please, I wish he would not say things like that.

I wish he would raise his pride and be certain of victory as always. Like the way he strode forward boldly even in moments that confused even her, like the way he casually dragged the seemingly impossible down into the possible.

"I will make it so. I will never allow the evil you carry to rampage, never allow it to harm anyone."

Then she herself would also be able to advance following him.

"So please, believe in me just once more."

The Inquisitor finished with that. Whether it would work or not, she no longer knew. She had done her best.

"…Why."

And after a long stillness and lengthy silence.

"Why are you so certain I can suppress the demon."

The Demon Knight quietly asked. It was an easy question.

"Because the person I have seen you to be is like that."

Grit, the sound of teeth grinding came.

"…There will never be another fool like you in this world."

A clear white flag fluttered.

It was a heartwarming ending.

Even if, on the hidden side of the conversation she did not know, there continued the inner mutterings of "Wouldn't accepting it here be OOC?" or "If I throw a few more lines, will the Inquisitor cover for the trolling?"