How I Seized an Intelligence Agency in South America
Two days after the cabinet meeting, I set up a joint memorial in front of the ruined Presidential Palace to honor the souls of the dead.
The long, mournful notes of Taps — a funeral dirge I'd heard in countless American movies — rang out across the grounds.
"Company, attention! Present arms! Fire!"
The funeral guns thundered in a rolling volley, white smoke blooming into the sky in thick, drifting clouds.
"Hah."
Watching the smoke climb into the empty air, I walked up onto the podium and took in the seats packed with the key figures of the central and local governments. Every face was frozen stiff. They sat ramrod-straight, every angle sharp, as if at attention.
They must be taking this hard.
Fair enough. Most of them had received their appointments from President Juan, and every minister they'd worked alongside was dead. If they weren't grieving, that would have been the strange part.
They were a bunch of deadweight paycheck-collectors, but I guess they treated their subordinates well enough.
Back when I'd served as a minister with them, I'd wished more than once they'd get struck by lightning on the way to work. Now that it had actually happened, all I felt was pity. My own chest was tight with the grief of losing a friend.
Ian, you bastard. Be happy wherever you are.
With a heart dedicated to the victims of the attack, I began reading the eulogy Isabella had written for me the night before.
Honored people of San Marcos, and distinguished guests gathered here with us today.
We stand in grief and sorrow beyond words to bid farewell to His Excellency President Juan Marcos, our great leader and founding father; to Prime Minister Ian Marcos, who was to lead this nation's future; and to every member of the cabinet who devoted themselves to our country.
This barbaric act of terror did not merely steal from us the leaders of an era. It shattered the peaceful daily lives of us all.
The ruins of the Presidential Palace behind me remain an indelible wound upon our hearts.
But we cannot simply sit down in this grief and despair.
We must now rise above this tragedy. We must turn sorrow into courage, restore the stability of the nation, and reestablish law and order upon this land.
I paused here.
In addition to every duty conferred upon me by the Constitution, I hereby solemnly swear to devote every effort to resolving this crisis and rebuilding the nation.
I will do everything in my power to find those behind this terror and to restore San Marcos from the brink.
Furthermore, in order to navigate this national emergency, I will tolerate no act that eats away at San Marcos.
Be it incompetence or corruption, I will employ every means and method at my disposal to punish it.
I will strive to earn the trust of the people of San Marcos.
I finished the eulogy and turned to leave, and a thunderous round of applause erupted.
Do they clap at funerals in this country?
On the way back from the funeral.
"You did well, sir."
"I just read the eulogy you wrote, Isabella. That's all."
"The same words carry an entirely different weight depending on who delivers them. Today, Your Excellency showed the dignity of a nation's leader."
"Ahem. I do have a certain charisma, I suppose."
"......"
I watched Isabella handle the wheel with practiced ease, then asked,
"Isabella?"
"Yes, sir."
"You have a title now. Wouldn't it be better to leave the driving to someone else?"
"Do you dislike my driving, sir? Or is it that being with me makes you uncomfortable..."
"No, nothing like that. It's just that the Chief of Staff personally driving might look a bit... off to other people."
"No one would think that, sir."
"I-is that so?"
"Yes. And I enjoy driving. I'm quite good at it, too."
"......"
"I could show you a drift, if you'd like."
"I'll pass."
"There's also a security concern."
"Security?"
"At a time like this, nothing would be surprising."
"Mm. That's a fair point."
True enough. Hire a driver and he might just pull a gun on you.
I never dreamed Javier would do that, either.
Watch your back, anytime, anywhere. I had to stay careful until the day I set foot back in Korea.
That aside... I looked over the reports that had come in today, and they were thoroughly unimpressive.
What's with this?
I'd chewed out the Deputy Minister of the Interior so thoroughly, and yet the report from the SIA contained nothing more than the fact that Javier's sister Ana was missing.
That's something you could find out just by going to her house.
Four days since the incident, and this was all they'd managed to dig up. Maybe they needed to rethink using a name like SIA — San Marcos Intelligence Agency.
"...Is it that they don't take me seriously, or are they just incompetent?"
"It's less that, sir, and more that they're desperately short on personnel and equipment."
Isabella answered my muttering.
"You know a lot about the SIA?"
"I served as a team leader at the SIA before becoming Chief of Staff."
"I-I see. I thought there was something unusual about you from the moment we met."
My face suddenly burned. I'd just called them incompetent in front of someone from that very agency.
"You needn't concern yourself, sir. The lack of competence is a fact."
"How did it get that way?"
"There's no money."
"What?"
Wasn't a well-funded budget the baseline for any intelligence agency?
"Is the budget not being disbursed?"
"The budget is being disbursed, but... it's woefully insufficient. On top of that, the amounts the Director and the Bureau Chief have been embezzling are considerable."
"I'll have to take a look at that."
"Shall I contact the martial law commander and have them arrested?"
"No."
Arrest them? For what? I couldn't even find the words.
"...Let's just call them in and hear what they have to say first."
"Understood. I'll have them bring the account books as well."
"Please do."
It took less than thirty minutes to get a meeting with the SIA's Director and Bureau Chief.
I came back from lunch to find the two of them standing at attention like brand-new privates fresh out of boot camp, waiting.
What's with them?
They were probably nervous from meeting me for the first time.
"No need for all that. Please, make yourselves comfortable. Relax."
"N-no, sir! This is comfortable for us!"
"If that's comfortable, then I suppose that's that. Isabella, could I trouble you for a cup of coffee each? It feels a bit awkward to talk without a drink, meeting for the first time."
"Yes, sir."
Isabella handed over the coffee, glaring at the two men as she did.
"Well, since fate's brought us together, let's have a cup of coffee. Haha."
"I-it's an honor, sir."
Once the tea-time icebreaker was over.
"You brought the account books, I assume?"
"Here they are, sir!"
I started going through the SIA's account books in earnest, and a sigh escaped me on its own.
This is a mess.
For the account books of a national agency, they weren't organized in the slightest. I could make sense of them only because I had an MBA. Anyone else would have been hard-pressed to tell whether this was an official ledger or a household budget book. And even the contents of that "household budget" were bizarre.
A complete disaster.
For one thing, the budget coming down from the central government was pitifully small. "Budget" amounted to the salaries of two hundred seventeen SIA agents plus a reserve fund of about two million dollars a year — and that was it. There was no other money to be found. And even that meager reserve was draining away into undocumented line items.
This is way too obvious...
In San Marcos, the kingdom of corruption, "no documentation" meant someone was skimming. Of course, an intelligence agency needed unlabeled money — but if that unlabeled money was ninety-nine percent of the budget, something was definitely wrong.
"Hmm."
I was stuck. If I grilled them with You stole it, didn't you?!, they'd just deny it. And launching a separate investigation would take time and manpower I didn't have.
I frowned, lost in thought, and lifted my head — and both of their faces went white.
"We're sorry! Please, just spare our lives!"
"Huh?"
They dropped to their knees and slammed their heads into the floor.
"We'll return every last dollar we took and submit our resignations effective today!"
I was dumbfounded by the sudden outburst.
I didn't even say anything?
And the posture — it was the full forehead-to-the-floor prostration you'd only see in a historical drama, the please-take-my-head scene.
Did they pick this up from YouTube or something?
The form, at least, was a passing grade. I could feel the desperation radiating off the backs of their heads.
"If you're going to go that far... I won't put you on trial."
"Th-thank you! Thank you so much! hhk, hhk"
"We will never forget the mercy of sparing our lives!"
I looked them straight in the eyes as they knelt there, tears streaming down their faces.
"So. How much did you embezzle?"
The Director spoke in a trembling voice.
"A-a little over ten million dollars."
Whoa... they really helped themselves.
"Then first, return that money—"
That was when Isabella, standing behind me, stepped forward.
"...?"
"Are the two of you simply without fear? Or did some unfortunate accident cave in your skulls and rob you of all judgment?"
"...?"
"Did you think no one would know you've been pocketing the profits from the businesses set up to fund SIA operations?"
"Ghk...!"
So that's why. They'd been so ready to cough it up.
They had a side stash.
Lying even here, to my face — did they take me for some spineless pushover?
"These people are hopeless..."
"W-we just forgot for a moment! We'll return everything!"
"We'll leave San Marcos entirely and never come back!"
Even a merciful Korean gentleman like myself couldn't tolerate being played like this.
"Isabella, what do you think we should do? I believe a severe punishment is in order."
"Appoint me Director of the SIA. I will thoroughly investigate these two, punish them, and ensure this never happens again."
"Wouldn't that be a bit much to handle alongside Chief of Staff? Or if you stepped down as Chief of Staff to take the SIA Director post..."
"No, sir. I can do both. And in a time like this, it is more stable for someone as close to Your Excellency as I am to run the intelligence agency."
"Hmm..."
Her judgment was sound. Running a government required an intelligence agency that actually worked.
"Very well. I'll separate the SIA from the Ministry of the Interior, place it under the direct authority of the President, and put it in Isabella's hands. I'll expand the budget — so show me what you can do."
"I will do everything in my power to meet your expectations."
She nodded once, then called the soldiers standing guard outside.
"Arrest these two traitors. His Excellency has ordered severe punishment. I intend to interrogate them personally and have them shot, so watch them closely — they are not to escape."
"No."
Who said anything about a firing squad?