The Strongest Samurai in History (Part 1)

The morning sun was rising over the horizon.

Songbirds twittered in the canopy, and drooping blossoms lifted their heads toward the dawn.

Chirp, chirp, chirp—

In a word, it was a genuinely lovely day.

"...Boss, are you truly all right?"

"Never better."

"You're drenched in blood from head to foot, though."

"None of it's mine."

If only a hot shower were an option, it would have been an undeniably perfect morning.

"Is there water anywhere nearby?"

"There is a mountain stream a fair distance off. Would you have someone guide you?"

"Nah. Can't be bothered to walk that far."

Last night, I had butchered men indiscriminately. Miraculously, the blade in my hand hadn't retained a single stray droplet of blood, but the same could hardly be said for my body. Did you know that when you lop off a human head, blood geysers out like a fountain? When you've reaped not just one neck but dozens, turning into a walking bloodbath is practically inevitable.

Well, setting aside the sticky discomfort for now...

"Are these all the men who survived?"

"Aye, that they are."

At my question, the heavily bearded underling nodded gravely.

"Twenty-five men, huh..."

My intention was to march right back and confront those bastards from last night. After all, a chain quest had popped up.

A Random Stat Increase Voucher.

Having a decent grasp of how Climbers operated, I knew full well how agonizingly difficult it was to obtain raw stat points. It was an absolute necessity for my future career as an active Climber back in reality.

"...By the way, Boss. Is your mind truly sound?"

"What?"

"Last night, I distinctly saw you wailing, screaming the name of some maiden at the top of your lungs."

"Ah."

My mind hadn't been in the clearest state last night, which led to me exposing a rather humiliating side to him. Still, this wasn't modern society, nor was it an era where the concept of an otaku even existed. Thus, I chose to play it off with stoic detachment.

"There's no way you could ever understand."

"...Could it be connected to the reason you were concealing your true power?"

"Hmm."

I stared silently into the void, donning the expression of a man burdened by a tragic past. At that, he pressed no further. The fellow had decent social cues.

"I see... Then again, with kin still surviving, how could a man like me ever fathom the darkness you carry in your heart?"

It seemed to have spiraled into a bizarre misunderstanding, but I didn't particularly care.

"Boss! We caught the bastard Oden!"

Right on cue, another subordinate came sprinting over out of breath, hurling a man slung over his shoulder onto the dirt.

Crash!

"Aaaagh! My back, my back!"

It was Oden, the traitor.

"Silence, you dog!"

"Eeeek! Mercy, please spare my life!"

At the bearded warrior's thunderous roar, Oden fell to his knees before me, furiously rubbing his palms together in frantic supplication.

"Hmph."

"Aigoo, Boss! I swear on my life, I'm innocent! I never betrayed anyone!"

I scrutinized the fellow closely. With droopy eyes and a mouth pulled tight in misery, he certainly possessed a face naturally tailored for wrongful accusation.

The bearded man barked at him once more. "You dog! If that's the truth, then why weren't you anywhere to be seen during yesterday's battle?!"

"Eeeek! It's the honest truth, I swear! I only slipped off to relieve myself and lost my way in the dark! Please, spare me!"

"How dare you spin such brazen lies!"

I alternated my gaze between the bearded subordinate, who looked ready to cleave the man in two on the spot, and Oden, who was blubbering for mercy. Not that I was actually agonizing over whether to spare him.

The background lore of my avatar in the status window had already spelled it out plain as day: Oden was, without a shadow of a doubt, a rat.

And traitors require punishment.

"P-Please spare me..."

I bore no personal grudge against him. The one Oden had betrayed wasn't me, but the avatar before I took over. Even so, granting mercy to a turncoat in front of the rank and file was out of the question.

"Execute him."

"Understood, Boss!"

At my decree, the men eagerly scrambled off to fetch execution tools.

"Boss. How do you intend to put him down?"

"I'm pondering that right now."

I gave that vague reply to the bearded man. Up until moments ago, I was just a shut-in flipping through light novels in my bedroom; what on earth would I know about execution methods? I assumed that by tossing out a noncommittal answer, he would chime in with a suggestion. Alas, I had underestimated how needlessly loyal the man was.

"We leave the decision entirely to your esteemed judgment."

His unwavering trust was frankly suffocating. Not to mention the sobering weight of standing in a position where I held the power of life and death over another human being. Still, I had to adapt. I couldn't remain a pathetic Resting Youth forever, could I?

And so, I made my decision.

"Ana-tsurushi."

Ana-tsurushi. Translated literally, it meant "hole-hanging"—a cruel ancient Japanese method of torture and execution where the victim was strung upside down over a pit filled with excrement, left to bleed out slowly through small incisions until death. The source of this exquisite knowledge? Algorithmic short-form reels. I felt a mild flicker of pride knowing that the endless hours spent mindlessly flicking my thumb hadn't gone completely to waste.

My men, however, merely cocked their heads in bafflement.

"Hole-hanging?"

"Does he mean we kill him first and hang him?"

Wait, they don't know it?

Like a middle schooler eagerly flexing some trivial trivia plucked off the internet, I launched into an explanation with immense satisfaction.

"Ah, you see, ana-tsurushi is..."

I graciously bestowed this refined cultural heritage upon these illiterate bumpkins who knew nothing beyond tilling the soil—recounting every detail exactly as I had seen it in those video clips. Apparently, it was a bit too much for their delicate sensibilities.

"G-Good heavens...!"

"Such ungodly cruelty...!"

Every single pair of eyes gathered upon me, utterly paralyzed with shock.

"...Boss. Are you truly in earnest?" Even the bearded warrior asked, his voice shaking.

"Hmm." Taking in their reactions, I tilted my head and asked back, "What seems to be the problem?"

"You truly intend to hang Oden upside down and submerge his head into a pit brimming with human filth?!"

"Yes. And the key is making a small incision at the crown of his head so blood can trickle out, preventing lethal pressure build-up. Be sure to bind his chest and abdomen tightly with straw ropes to stop his internal organs from bursting under pressure. Oh, and another thing..."

I explained the intricacies with unbridled enthusiasm. The revelation that my wasted hours on social media might not have been utterly meaningless after all had made me slightly giddy. I genuinely believed I was sharing practical, useful instructions. Yet my subordinates failed to exhibit the reaction I anticipated.

"H-Heeek...!"

Far from impressed, they were trembling in mortal dread.

Still, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Today as well, I strove to be an upstanding model citizen.

"Tie him up."

This, after all, was traditional Japanese heritage at its finest.

"Aaaargh! Save me! Have mercy, pleaaase!"

Oden swung upside down from the thick branch of a tree.

"Toughen up. A real man can endure this much."

As the rush of blood to his skull caused him agony, I scored a light incision near the crown of his head. As crimson fluid seeped out, the purplish hue in his face eased back toward normal.

"A pity we couldn't procure ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the excrement."

Regrettably, recreating the genuine Japanese ana-tsurushi in its full glory proved impossible. And understandably so. I was Korean, after all; no matter how hard I tried, a decent man could never match the sheer, treacherous cruelty innate to those historic islanders.

"Hic... sob...!"

Oden wept bitter tears as he dangled upside down. But the moisture leaking from the eyes of a filthy, groveling man had zero power to sway my resolve.

Setting that aside...

I furrowed my brow as I examined him. "Hmm. Truly ruthless. Japan never fails to live up to its reputation—the land of Unit 731. To think they actually devised such an abhorrent method of execution."

"...I swear by the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠gods, Boss, none of us have ever heard of such an atrocity."

Strangely enough, the men were trembling in terror not of historical Japan, but of me.

"Boss, traitor or not, isn't this carrying things a bit too far?"

The bearded man had begun spouting nonsense about basic human decency. Had he been born a thousand years later, the fellow surely would have become a human rights activist.

"Fool. In a medieval era like this, a single copper coin weighs heavier than a man's life. Tsk, tsk. You're not long for this world with that mindset."

"Boss... did you truly lose your mind last night?"

"I told you, I haven't lost my mind."

When in Rome, one must abide by the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠laws of Rome. It was a conviction I'd held whenever reading light novels back home. The trope of an isekai high school protagonist storming an elf slave market, liberating the slaves, and earning their adoration was a tired cliché.

I despised it. I couldn't comprehend it.

Why would you release an obedient elf slave into the wild instead of claiming her for yourself? And for no other reason than because that was the modern standard back home? It might preserve the protagonist's moral consistency, but it was nothing short of a choking, frustrating lump of sweet potato to the reader.

Therefore, I would indulge in no such hypocrisy. I would respect the culture of historical Japan! Such was the eccentric philosophy of an unapologetic otaku...!

"For a traitor, death is the sole atonement."

I refused to be the idiot clutching twenty-first-century sensibilities while stranded a millennium in the past.

Right then.

Ding!

A bit out of the blue, but the status window handed me a reward. It looked distinct from the perks I had received earlier.

Once again, a hopelessly vague description. Yet its effect became palpable in an instant.

...Gulp.

The way the men looked at me had completely shifted. And the first to pick up on it was the bearded fellow.

"...The light in their eyes has changed. They have begun to fear you, Boss. Yet, fear is sometimes the only forge that tempers iron discipline."

His eyes widened as if struck by sudden enlightenment, and he turned to me.

"Boss... did you calculate this all along...?"

Of course I hadn't. Honestly, I thought these medieval thugs would enjoy a gritty execution. Still, there was no need to disabuse him of his reverent delusions.

"Heh."

I gave a quiet, knowing nod.

"Haah..." The bearded warrior let out a breath of profound awe. "It truly is as expected of you. Forgive my insolence for doubting your wisdom."

"You are forgiven, Beardy."

"Beardy, you say...? My name is Tokiyasu."

"Yasu? A man's name is Yasu?!"

While I reeled in shock from hearing his name—which sounded entirely too close to slang for getting laid—the newly disciplined men gathered around Tokiyasu to brainstorm their next move.

"If we raid the warehouse again, we might succeed this time..."

"Still, after yesterday's disaster, attacking the same place twice is..."

"There is no need to cower! We have the Boss with us!"

"Oh! That's right!"

Between the public execution of the traitor and the passive effects of the King's Disposition trait, the men were bubbling with vigor as though they'd already scrubbed yesterday's crushing defeat from their memories. Which suited me fine. I had a quest to wrap up.

"Ahem. Eyes on me."

Every head snapped in my direction.

"We are not going to plunder the food warehouse."

"Eh? What will we do then? You're not throwing in the towel, are you?"

A restless murmur rippled through the ranks.

"If we quit now, where do we even go?"

"If we go back to tilling the soil, the nobles will strip every grain from our hands until we starve anyway!"

"...Is becoming common bandits our only path left, then?"

The men turned their pleading eyes upon me.

"We want no part in banditry, Boss! We didn't rally here just to rob poor wretches who have nothing, just like us!"

"Aye! Boss, wasn't it you who said it?! That we would become righteous outlaws, seizing from the hoarders to feed the destitute!"

"We swore our lives to your banner for that very creed!"

Admirable sentiments from such rough men. Beholding their resolve, a broad grin crept across my lips.

"Rest easy. We aren't disbanding."

"Ooh!"

"As expected of our Boss!"

One of them asked with palpable relief, "Then what is your plan?"

To that, I beamed and declared:

"We're launching a direct assault on their manor."

Their eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"W-What?!"

"Have you lost your senses?!"

I wondered if these were the same men who had boldly refused to become petty thieves just moments earlier.

"I am perfectly sane, of course." Facing their disbelief, I laid it out kindly. "If we raid the warehouse again, their reinforced guard will cut us down before we even set foot through the gates. But with their security concentrated on the granary, the defenses at the manor itself will be stripped bare."

"..."

Whether struck dumb by the audacity or sheer lunacy of the plan, nobody uttered a peep.

Presently, Tokiyasu stepped forward. "We are no samurai, Boss. We are little more than common pilferers raiding grain bins."

"And so?"

"If rabble like us march upon a noble estate, the warriors guarding that place will slaughter us without mercy."

I snorted in disdain. "Is being a samurai some grandiose title? Anyone who lifts a blade in desperation to survive and levels it at someone stronger is ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a warrior."

Quoting a famous line from one of my favorite mangas, I swept my gaze over the men. Their eyes were already steeped in defeat. To those who had surrendered before the battle had even begun, I resolved to instill a spark of courage.

"Those who seek death shall live, and those who seek life shall die."

"What was that?"

"If you desire to live, you shall perish; if you resolve to die, you shall prevail. Do you truly believe that scraping together a handful of grain to survive another week will keep you alive?"

"W-Well, that's..."

"Not a chance. They will inevitably dispatch a punitive force to hunt us down. We will spend the rest of our miserable lives running like hunted rats."

"Th-That can't be..."

"However, if we dare to face death and strike them head-on, everything changes. The moment we seize their manor, there will be no pursuit. Everything they possess—their wealth, their food, their land—becomes ours."

Whoosh—!

I slashed my sword through empty air.

Under the influence of that perk, the wild slash I threw became like the stroke of a master calligrapher's brush—painting an exquisite, breathtaking masterpiece across the canvas of the sky. The men stood utterly entranced by that single sweep.

"You likely deem it impossible. But with me by your side, it is entirely different!"

"...!"

"Now, what say you?!"

Truth be told, I was sweating bullets as I asked. To complete the quest, I needed every single pair of hands I could get, even if it were the paws of a stray cat. Fortunately, not a single man voiced an objection.

"...Is that so."

"Indeed. If one resolves to die, there is nothing left to fear."

"Since when did we become cowards who only know how to flee?"

Steely determination ignited within their eyes as they gazed upon me. This was especially true for Tokiyasu, who practically served as second-in-command; one look at his tightly clenched jaw was enough to see his ironclad conviction.

"Boss. I shall follow you to the bitter end. Even if that path leads to our graves."

"Aye, we stand with you!"

"We fear nothing!"

"Waaaagh!"

Perfect.

The fact that I couldn't meet Ai-ttang still brought a tear to my eye, but since things had come to this, I chose to look on the bright side. Complete the quest here, grow overwhelmingly powerful, and then reap boundless wealth and glory back in reality.

Though I'm still a bit terrified.

I had already verified that I could pull the plug and return to reality whenever I wished. If things went south, I could just run away, so there was nothing to lose sleep over.

Standing at the vanguard of my men, I roared:

"Move out!"

"YAAAARGH!"

Ding.