An Unlicensed Midnight Drive
The engine droned on—Vrrrrrrrrrm. When I came to, I was inside a car. My arms were yanked up over my head in an uncomfortable position, tied to the seat.
Before I could even process what had happened, an ominous voice came from beside me. "How do you unfold the side mirror?"
I turned my head. Masked Kang Cheol-in sat in the driver's seat, hands on the wheel.
"God damn it! What the hell is this! Untie me right now!"
"Oh. You're awake. Hey, President Jeong. What's the button to extend the side mirror?"
"What kind of bullshit... Fuck! You're driving without the headlights on—what the hell are you trying to pull, you crazy bastard!"
Vrrrrrrrrrm— He didn't seem to be speeding, but there was no way to tell for sure. It was pitch black outside, not a single streetlight in sight. We had to be on some rural road or mountain path.
"How would I know how to turn the lights on? I don't even have a license."
Cough—hack!
"Hey!! Stop the car!! You crazy son of a bitch!"
"Hey, Mr. Jeong. Keep your voice down. I can hear you just fine."
"Stop looking to the side and pull the fucking car over!"
Screeeeech—
"Good. Car's stopped. Now, shall we take our time and have a nice little chat?"
The relief of surviving that unlicensed drive through the darkness hadn't even settled before I was staring at the reality that I was about to be killed by a genuine murderer.
"K-Kang Cheol-in...! We weren't on bad terms, were we! When you worked here, I gave you tons of food and stuff, didn't I? How can you do this?!"
"Hmm? Ah. It's true I got to eat a lot of the expired junk thanks to you. I'm grateful for that much."
"R-right?! It's not too late! I-I don't like the police either! I'll handle the body myself! I won't report anything!"
"I haven't killed anyone, though."
"Huuuurgh..."
This guy's mindset was on a completely different level. No witnesses meant it never happened. Come to think of it, showing up in a mask and gloves, driving these dark roads without headlights like it was nothing... this wasn't his first time. He'd definitely done this to several people before.
It seemed President Jeong was seriously misunderstanding the situation. Sobbing, he started babbling about things I couldn't care less about—begging for his life, mentioning a son and daughter, the whole pathetic routine.
"Quiet."
It was getting annoying, so I pulled out the stun bat as a warning. He shut up instantly.
"Like I said, let's take it slow and talk. Why did you bring your lackeys all the way to my room? Come to celebrate my resignation with a group meal?"
"T-that's... we couldn't talk properly during the day, so..."
"You suddenly got shy and brought three friends along?"
"Khuk... Please...! I was just trying to scare you a little!"
"There were quite a few useful items in the trunk. I'll be taking those."
"Huuuurgh... Those are just tools I normally keep in the car...!"
He looked so terrified that when I reached over and patted his head, he flinched so hard his jaw started chattering and he fell into breathing trouble. Guess it only works on kids. Makes sense—I wouldn't feel great if some stranger in the dark started stroking my head either.
"Come on, President Jeong, calm down. No one's hurt yet. No one's dead. The car window got a little broken, but you won't make a fuss about that, right?"
"I-I-I absolutely won't! I broke the window myself! I didn't see anything today! Nothing at all!"
"Good. I was wondering how to settle this, but the agreement came together nicely. What is this, though? I haven't even eaten dinner."
"S-sorry! If you open the cabinet next to you, there's some m-money... I'll give you that at least...!"
"President Jeong. I'm not interested in pocket change like that."
"S-sorry...!"
Out of curiosity I opened the cabinet anyway. A fat envelope of cash sat inside, so I took it. President Jeong had the good sense to just close his eyes and pretend not to notice.
I got out of the car, dragged the three guys who were still out cold from the trunk, sat them in the back seat, buckled their seatbelts, and stepped out again.
Dark night. I sat on the hood of the car parked on a dirt road with no streetlights, desperately ignoring the sobbing leaking from inside, and lit a cigarette.
Kill him or not. I could store the body in my inventory and dump it in the world of No Longer Human. It would just get treated as a disappearance. But honestly, I didn't feel like killing him. I hadn't really lost anything, and I'd even received an unexpected envelope of cash. Still, if he reported it to the police it would become a hassle...
Then again, there weren't any real injuries. Would an assault report even mean anything? Oh, right—one of them had a broken nose. There was no evidence anyway, and the idea that I took down four tattooed thugs four-on-one was already unbelievable. If I just denied everything, that should be the end of it.
But even thinking about it was annoying. My head was a mess and my stomach was empty, so I pulled out the full lunchbox set and started eating. Rice, noodles, some bread-like thing, and meat I couldn't identify—all of it fried, mixed together, steaming hot and fragrant.
"Oh. Each dumpling has a different filling. This one's shrimp?"
The bottom layer held sweet rice-cake-like desserts and fruit for the finish. Once my stomach was full, I felt extremely generous.
I got back in the car, yanked out the dashcam and pretended to pocket it while slipping it into my inventory. Then I untied President Jeong, who sat there with a completely resigned expression, and spoke.
"Hey, Mr. Jeong. I'm heading out. Deal with the three in the back yourself."
"Thank you..."
"You said you have two kids, right? If you bother me again, I'll show you something really entertaining."
"Absolutely not! Nothing will happen!"
Riding my bike home through the darkness, a text suddenly arrived. It was from the antique collector Kang Hae-yeon.
What perfect timing.