Watermelon Oh’s Commercial Break
The Education Bureau official in charge of filming the Thousand-Mile Eye didn't even have time to react to what had just happened. By the time he snapped out of his daze and tried to cut the feed, Im Bukjin’s advertisement had already been broadcast to countless citizens across all of Unmong City.
At that moment, a short, plump old man with a beard stood among the crowd gathered in the Temple Plaza. Looking up at the crystal screen, he shouted in a voice thick with excitement.
"Hahaha! Yes! That’s right! Our Bang Family Soap is indeed a traditional business with a hundred-year history in Unmong City! Hahaha!"
A commotion broke out among the people around him. Simultaneously, in other plazas, taverns, and gambling dens throughout the city—anywhere a crystal screen was installed—people stared at the displays with blank expressions.
What was that?
Why did that screen suddenly appear...?
What did Im Bukjin just do?
Giant question marks and exclamation points popped up in everyone's minds at once. This was something that had never happened before in the history of the competition. But in this very moment, the product known as Bang Family Soap was seared into the minds of the masses. Even if they wanted to forget it, they couldn't; it was etched into their brains.
A previously obscure company had suddenly become the center of immense attention. And the owner of Bang Family Soap had only paid a measly ten gold coins for the privilege.
At the Education Bureau Headquarters.
Pfft—!
Chief Lee Ungbu, who had been reviewing various documents while watching the screen, spat his tea right out of his mouth. Sitting beside him, Provincial Education Chief Bang Jinyu slammed his fan down onto the table with a thunderous crack.
"My Lord, please, restrain your anger!"
The surrounding officials, startled by the outburst, rushed to soothe Bang Jinyu all at once.
In a certain tavern in Unmong City.
Im Taeheo, the Principal of the 3rd Academy, sat with a beautiful woman on each arm. He stared at the screen with his mouth agape for a moment before bursting into a boisterous laugh.
"Did you see that, my beauties? That boy is the successor I chose! Hahaha! He’s the number one candidate to inherit my position as Principal of the 3rd Academy! Hahaha!"
The young, coquettish women leaning against him giggled as if it were the funniest thing they’d ever seen, then began peeling grapes for him.
At the 3rd Academy.
The entire student body gathered in the training grounds fell silent for a split second. Then, as if on cue, they all erupted into laughter. the heavy tension that had gripped them vanished like smoke in the wind.
At the National Imperial Junior Academy, Training Hall No. 2.
"Hahaha! This is what I call a life hack!"
Having finished his advertisement, Bukjin laughed loudly while licking a stray piece of watermelon from the corner of his mouth. "Proctor! Hurry up and count how many pieces I made with a single strike!"
Oh Bonggok, the gray-haired proctor, also had bits of watermelon stuck to his face. He spoke in a voice trembling with rage.
"Im Bukjin! What in the world do you think you're doing?!"
"I'm taking the exam," Bukjin said triumphantly. "Isn't the point of drawing a sword to kill your opponent? Other students might have sliced their target into thirty-four pieces, but I turned mine into complete mush with a single blow. If that had been a person, they’d be a meat pancake by now. In other words, my strike was far more lethal! So, in my opinion—"
"Shut your mouth!" Oh Bonggok roared. "Your opinion doesn't matter! I follow my own standards. You violated the spirit of the rules, and your method does not align with the Sword Speed Contest. Your score is void!"
Bukjin immediately began to argue his logic. "My Lord, I read the regulations for this exam very carefully. There was no rule stating that my method was prohibited. I am formally lodging a protest—"
"Denied!" Oh Bonggok cut him off sharply. "As the General Proctor, I have the final authority over everything that happens in this hall and the final scores. The test you just took is invalid. I will give you one more chance to participate. If you refuse, I will consider it a forfeit."
As he spoke, Oh Bonggok plucked a piece of watermelon rind from his hair.
"Ugh..." Bukjin was at a loss for words. Looks like this plan was a bust.
The surrounding students finally breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing Oh Bonggok's decision. In truth, Bukjin was technically right—the rules didn't explicitly state how the watermelon had to be split. However, his method was far beyond the bounds of common sense.
Bukjin had smashed the watermelon with the flat of his blade, pulverizing it into sixty or seventy mushy chunks. If his score were allowed, every student after him would try to do the same. If that happened, the incredible performances of top-tier geniuses like Ya Mi-ang, Im Jin, and Jo Pacheon would mean nothing. Anyone could beat their scores using Bukjin's method.
The assistant proctors, who were covered in watermelon juice, wiped down the table and placed a fresh watermelon on it.
"The exam will resume," General Proctor Oh Bonggok announced loudly. He stood much closer to Bukjin this time, watching him like a hawk.
Bukjin let out a long sigh. This particular exam wasn't exactly his forte. Throughout his cultivation journey, Bukjin had focused on defense first, then speed for running away, and finally power for instantaneous strikes. Swordsmanship was at the very bottom of his list.
Moreover, in Bukjin's eyes, counting how many times one could swing a sword in a single breath was meaningless. To him, swinging a sword many times in a short window was just flashy window dressing. Even if you could swing ten thousand times in a second, it meant nothing if you didn't hit the target. True sword speed, he believed, lay in how fast and accurately you could deliver a single, decisive thrust.
Bukjin took the longsword handed to him by the assistant proctor. He began to observe the watermelon quietly. It was then that he noticed something he hadn't realized before.
Now that I look at it, all the watermelons prepared for the exam are the exact same size! Their freshness and shape are almost identical. Round, plump, perfectly ripe watermelons!
The green rinds had a beautiful luster, and they looked incredibly delicious at a glance.
"This is a damn fine watermelon!" Bukjin exclaimed, unable to hide his admiration.
Oh Bonggok, who had been standing beside him with a solemn expression, suddenly broke into a smile upon hearing Bukjin's praise.
"Of course it is! Every watermelon used in this exam is a Jade Watermelon produced at our Oh family’s Soseo Mountain plantation. They are raised using water drawn from the Spirit Springs of Soseo Mountain. We use no Mystic Arrays to force growth, nor any alchemical fertilizers. They are purely organic. These watermelons are harvested only twice a year, and every single one is hand-picked with care by our workers. Our family's watermelons are famous not just for their appearance and uniform size, but for their thin rinds and incredibly sweet flesh. Furthermore, despite such high quality, they only cost one silver coin each. You won't find better value anywhere else."
The General Proctor, who had been so stern just moments ago, had turned away from Bukjin and was now addressing the Thousand-Mile Eye crystal directly, continuing his explanation with gusto.
Silence fell over the Training Hall. Bukjin stared at Oh Bonggok with his mouth hanging open, looking utterly flabbergasted.
Good grief! I’ve finally met someone with a thicker skin than mine!
Bukjin sincerely acknowledged that he was outmatched in the shamelessness department and felt a strange sense of admiration. He had never imagined that a General Proctor would be a kindred spirit.
Oh Bonggok... what a legendary man! Bukjin marveled internally. Then, as if snapping to his senses, he decided to play along.
"In that case... where exactly can one buy such a watermelon...?"
Oh Bonggok’s eyes flashed with a brilliant light. What a good lad. He catches on quick. A talent among talents!
"Student Im has asked an excellent question. Naturally, you can find them at the Oh Family Jade Watermelon Shop at No. 24 Ryupung Boulevard. We are open year-round, four seasons a year. For a mere fifty silver coins, you can purchase a membership card, which grants you a twenty percent discount and free delivery!"
General Proctor Oh Bonggok replied with a kind, beaming smile.
Dark shadows loomed over the faces of everyone else in the hall.
Wh-what in the world is this...?
Those two... what are they doing right now?
For a moment, the spectators wondered if they were the ones who had gone insane.
At the Unmong City Education Bureau.
Chief Lee Ungbu spat out his tea yet again with a loud Pffft!
That bastard Oh Bonggok isn't normal either!
Within the Education Bureau, Oh Bonggok was usually mocked with the nickname No-Backbone because of his lack of integrity. He was famous for using any means necessary and any amount of flattery to sell even one more of his family's watermelons. Because of this, his other nickname was Watermelon Oh.
He had pulled every string and used every connection he had to secure a position as a General Proctor for this competition. It was through his relentless lobbying that 'Watermelon Slicing' had even been adopted as a formal test for the Sword Speed Contest.
Everyone in the Bureau had assumed that getting the test approved was the peak of his efforts. They never dreamed he would seize such a subtle opportunity in the middle of the exam to publicly advertise his family's business.
Wait, he only answered because Im Bukjin asked so naturally...
The exquisite advertisement that had just unfolded took the form of Bukjin asking a question and Proctor Oh Bonggok providing a natural answer. Everything was so perfectly aligned with logic that it was terrifying. In the end, it was Bukjin who had handed Oh Bonggok the opportunity to advertise.
"This is all that damn Im Bukjin's fault!" Lee Ungbu was practically speechless. "Every time that brat gets involved, it's nothing but trouble! He’s the most irritating fellow I’ve ever met!"
Bang Jinyu, who had been watching the scene from the side, huffed in anger, stood up, and stormed out of the meeting room. To him, everything happening in Unmong City felt like a low-budget farce. Bang Jinyu vowed to himself that he would find an opportunity to thoroughly purge the Unmong City Education Bureau once and for all.